There are only two things Jungkook's certain about: it’s his last night in Busan and last time seeing his sister, Jisoo. The latter fact hurts more and causes Jungkook to slouch further on the bench he’s sitting on. He knows his sister despises smoking, but he only has one cigarette left so he lights the er up, and blows hard. The smoke creates a ghost-like mist that rises and momentarily covers Busan’s skyline before dissolving into night wind. This one’s for you sis, he hollows his cheeks and blows again.

From where he’s sitting on the grubby bench of some metro station, he can clearly hear the city; the incongruous steps of the homeless, slurs of drunkards, and the scathing silence that lingers even amongst bustling crowds. Most of his memories in Busan are riddled with pain, and yet despite that, he’s still going to miss the goddamn city. Sorrow tugs on his heart when he thinks about never seeing this place again. Jungkook’s not stupid enough to believe that he’ll definitely make it out of Seoul alive. The parasite dies with the host after-all. RM spent hours explaining what needed to be done and how, death was staring him in the face.

When Jungkook looks up, he sees an expansive, starless sky; a large pool of nothing, just like his life. Now, perhaps the only star he’d ever had was being stripped from him too – Jisoo. He sighs again, trying to supress the urge to lie down on the train tracks and embrace death. He’s imagined it before: the train ripping his flesh open, blood pooling, soul departing – death isn’t something Jungkook fears, there are worse things than mere death. Losing Jisoo is one of them or perhaps, worse yet, knowing that she’ll probably be dead even if he does end up returning to Busan in one piece.

When the train arrives, he crushes the cigarette with his foot. Scalding orange flames dance around the bud before turning into black ash. He boards the train and holds on firmly to the two duffel bags that carry all of his belongings.  

 

*

   

 St. Mary’s hospital is busy as can be. There’s a myriad of people in line at the reception desk, and Jungkook flicks his hair to the side to express his annoyance. When his eyes wander upwards from the ground, he notices a couple of nurses staring at him and giggling. This is it. Jungkook signals the shortest one to come to him; she’s a little chubby, pale as the moon and has her hair up in an elaborate bun that probably took way longer to make than it should have.

“Are you okay sir?”  

Jungkook has a knack for getting what he wants, so he puts on a dazzling smile and looks her deep in the eye.

“I couldn’t help but notice how pretty this hospital’s faculty is.”

She smiles and bats her eyelashes an innumerable number of times. Jungkook resists the urge to roll his eyes.

“Anyone in particular?”

“Yes actually. She’s standing right in front of me” replies Jungkook, lowering his voice and giving her a wink. He internally chuckles at how good of an actor he is, but when she looks up at him with bright engaging eyes, he almost feels guilty for feigning interest.

“Well thank you” she says, her cheeks turning rouge.

“You’re welcome. I bet my sister would find you very beautiful as well.”

“Your sister?” she replies, looking up excitedly.

“Yeah I’m actually here to see her tonight.”

“She’s in the hospital? What’s her name?”

“Jeon Jisoo.”

“Yes, I know her!”

Jackpot.

“Really? How is she doing? I miss her so much..”

“She’s doing well. I didn’t know she had a brother.”

“Well now you know” replies Jungkook, the corners of his lips tugging into a smile. “But I’m worried I won’t be able to see her.”

“Oh why not?”

“I’m flying to Seoul tonight...to finish my medical studies, us med students don’t really have much time off.” Girls like doctors right?

“Wow, well I’m sorry that you have to wait in this long line.”

“Yeah, I just hope I can see her before my plane departs, or else I’ll have to go without saying goodbye.”

The nurse shoots him a defeated look. He really shouldn’t have left seeing Jisoo so last minute.  

“Okay, how about this? I’ll just go to the reception and get a visitor’s pass for you okay?”

“Really?”

“Yes, of course, I wouldn’t want you to go without saying goodbye.”

Jungkook hasn’t felt the warmth of kindness in a long time, it feels foreign to him albeit comforting. When the nurse returns with a visitors pass, Jungkook asks, “How can I ever thank you?”

“How about you call me next time you’re in Busan.” She gives him her business card, and walks away, swaying her hips from side to side in a vain attempt he’d get excited. Jungkook smirks, slips the card into the pocket of his skinny jeans and recalls the time Taehyung would call him a magnet back in high school. Simpler times.

 

*
 

“Jisoo?” whispers Jungkook, praying to God she’s not asleep as he steps into her room.

“Oppa?”  

He sighs in relief at the sound of her soft voice, but his face falls when he takes in the sickly sight of her. Her head once full of curls is now hairless and her face once plump and round is sullen and somber, yet despite it all, a familiar crease appears in her eyes when she looks up at her big brother.

“Jungkook?” she whispers, the corners of her lips stretching into a smile. Dumping his two duffel bags on the floor, he puts as much of his arms around her as he can. Tears form, and fall like little raindrops down his cheeks, leaving deeper tracks than the trains in Busan ever could.

“I’ve missed you so much” she says, her voice meek and guttural. They stay in each other’s arms for a while and whisper little ‘I love yous’ and ‘I missed yous’ in each other’s ears.

When Jungkook withdraws and sits beside her, he takes her hands in his;

“I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

Jisoo’s only thirteen years old but she exudes a maturity that well surpasses her age. In many ways, she’s Jungkook’s best friend and perhaps his only real friend.

“I-I’m going to Seoul-“

“Why?! I thought you left Bangtan Boys, oppa...I thought you were going to start anew…”

Jungkook hates the disapproving expression carved into her face right now. Her eyes, like little lasers burn his flesh with their disappointment.

“This’ll be the last thing I do for them. It’s high risk though…” he gulps, “I might not make it back so they gave me half of the payment early.” Jungkook reaches into his bag and pulls out a large wad of cash and hands it to her. Jisoo’s eyes widen but she rejects the money.

“I don’t want it oppa, it’s not right.”

“Give it to mom and dad then, maybe they-

“They don’t want anything to do with you remember?”

Pain spreads like wildfire throughout Jungkook’s body. His parents hadn’t been so fond of him in the last few years, and given everything that had happened, he couldn’t even blame them. Regardless, that didn’t make his sister’s words sting any less.

“I know, but it’ll help pay for your surgeries and rebuild the house or even pay for a newer, better home.”

“Oppa, please, if they found out you came to see me, they’d be very angry. They’ll be even angrier about the money.”

Jungkook exhales, and tucks the cash into the small pink backpack sitting on one of the chairs. “Look, i get it. I know they don’t want me around... but trust me, they will accept this money. God knows they need it right now...Nothing is more important than your health, not even their pride.”

Jisoo’s eyes well up with tears. “If it wasn’t for you, I don’t even think I would have made it this far-”

“Shh, shut up” replies Jungkook as he pulls out a story book out of his duffel bag. The pages that were once snow white are now black and the corners crumble to ash with the slightest touch.  

“My book!” Jisoo’s face lights up.

Jungkook smirks, and hands it to her, telling her to be careful. “I went back to the house right after the fire and found it lying underneath the piano, or well what was left of the piano.”

“I can’t believe you did that” 

“It sure took me a while.” Jungkook loves the look on Jisoo’s face right now. Her eyes look like little suns, warm and bright. “I know it’s not what it used to be, but I can still make out the pages.”

“Will you read it for me before you leave oppa?”

Jungkook beams and as he begins to read, he’s transported to the world before leukemia, to the world before he dealt drugs. He’s sixteen and his sister is happy and healthy with black locks that hit her shoulders. They’re both laying on her four poster pink princess bed when he reads,

 

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?”

 

When he finishes the story, he looks up and reality hits him like a salty tide. He’s no longer sixteen and his sister’s curls have disappeared to reveal a bare scalp. Jisoo’s fast asleep but they’re not in her four poster bed and she’s nowhere near healthy. The erratic nature of her breathing nearly gives Jungkook a panic attack but he calms himself down and places the burned story book on the chair. After grabbing his two duffel bags, he shoots Jisoo a glance which evolves into a long stare. It’s probably his last time seeing her and he’s certain that the agony he feels right now is more painful than walking on three hundred miles of broken glass. As he turns the doorknob to leave, her voice calls out to him, “Oppa, please try to stay safe…You still have to find your Snow White.”

Jungkook chuckles as memories of pretending to be the prince that saves the pale beauty flood his mind. He focuses on the prickling paint on the door and uses every atom of his energy to stop himself from looking back. He can hear tears in her voice, but if he saw them in her eyes, he wouldn’t be able to leave. “Snow White will be fine without me..and so will you. I love you, take care.”

She releases a breathy sigh, or perhaps it’s sad one. It’s always hard to tell.

“Bye oppa.”