Being Park Jaehyung’s best friend is an adventure. Last-minute weekend trips, impromptu singing sessions on the streets, spicy ramen eating contests, texting silly memes and awful lot of emojis 24/7, sneaking back to your dorm room at three in the morning, laughing at the smallest things, a hand around your shoulder whenever you feel down, Saturday movie nights with sweet popcorn and you getting pissed when he talks English you don’t understand.

It’s always fun and you are content, you swear you are even if those nasty butterflies in your stomach tell otherwise. But your heart can’t help but skip a beat whenever he smiles at you fondly, grabs your hand or just simply hugs you as a greeting. You tell yourself you shouldn’t get greedy and want more than what you have. Or more than what you can have. Because of course, Jae likes somebody who isn’t you: Somebody who is funny, kind and smart, a girl that makes him dedicate cheesy songs to her.

Jae has been working as a late night host at a local radio station ever since he quitted university because it wasn’t for him. You have never missed his show since then and he likes to tease you about it or even embarrass you sometimes on air like telling his listeners about that annoying friend of his who still owns him a pack of chicken. But no matter how smug he acts, you can tell he appreciates your loyalty. However, truth to be told, you don’t do it solely because you are best friends but because you are addicted to his show. You love his jokes, his music taste and that three hours every weekday when you can do anything while listening to his voice. You only dread those last moments recently, those last tracks because now Jae often dedicates a heart fluttering love song to some girl his listeners like to ask him about.

“She’s the most amazing person I have ever met,” he once said and it pained you more than it should have.

You couldn’t say anything but it hurt you both as his best friend and as the girl who has been in love with him probably ever since he sat down to built sand castles with you when you were five. Though, you only realized it last Christmas when he gently kissed you under a mistletoe due to your friends’ endless nagging.

“Are we ok?” he asked then, looking at you so closely, only a few breaths away, you couldn’t think properly. And what could you have said anyway? You were still dazed only because of this quick, chaste kiss that shouldn’t mean anything more than an innocent peck between friends, so you played it safe:

“Yeah, of course.”

You haven’t talked about it ever since, most likely because it really didn’t mean anything to him. But you were becoming more and more aware of your infatuation over him. It’s not just a crush on your part but as his best friend you can only support him if he likes that girl so much, even if he isn’t willing to tell you more about her.

“Huh and you call yourself my best friend?” he laughed at you one time you asked about this mystery girl. Jae teased you for a week straight after the incident that you shouldn’t be jealous yet you couldn’t help it: you were. You are. Because where is this dream girl Jae dedicates all the sickeningly sweet confession songs and how can she not notice how great he is?

You don’t even know why you keep making yourself suffer but you sure as hell can’t say no to Jae. Not when he whines that he missed dinner and asks you to bring him something to eat at the radio station. That’s how you end up in the studio building with hands full of exotic spiced chicken wings he likes so much. He is almost done when you arrive so you wave to him through the glass window and his face brightens as he sees you… or at least, his dinner. He mouths you ‘five minutes’ note with a short nod, putting down the take-out and entangling your earphones to listen to the end of his show. You catch the last accords of an Ed Sheeran song and then Jae’s melodious voice fills your ears.

“Hey late night listeners, this was Perfect and as I see online a lot of you have been wondering about this girl I like. Is your life so boring that you care so much about mine?”

You swear his laugh is even prettier when he mentions that girl which makes you gulp bitterly. Still, you can’t take your eyes off of him, not when he smiles so bright, eyes disappearing into crescents behind his glasses, ruffling his blonde hair and looking happier than ever.

“Okay, if you are so curious, I tell you that I know for sure that she’s listening to my show right now. So yes, dear listeners, one of you is the girl who stole my heart,” he says and your breath hitches.

The show is online but how can he tell? He didn’t track the girl’s IP address, right? That would be a bit creepy. When Jae glances at you, he laughs at you scandalized expression a lot amused.

“I’m sure you are all wondering how it all happened. Well, I have known her so long I’m pretty sure I have always loved her one way or another. But I only realized that it’s a different kind of love when she had her first boyfriend and I had to fake a smile.”

Your mind is running miles in a second searching for somebody in Jae’s big group of friends who can be the one. Jae’s not helping since he’s quite protective of every single girl friend of his because he likes to act like the funny big brother everybody would like to have. Except you.

“She doesn’t know that I’m a bit of a romantic and she probably thinks it’s lame of me to confess with songs but come on, songs can tell it better than me,” you best friend keeps making you suffer without knowing because it’s almost unbearable to hear him talk more about this lucky girl. It feels like a stab in the heart and you are close to having enough of all this when he continues with his confession: “All of these songs remind me of her and if she doesn’t put it together today I’m gonna give up because the song I’m playing tonight is significant in our ‘relationship’ dare I say. At least for me. So hey, love, if you don’t feel the same way it’s okay but this is how I feel. Here comes When you love someone by Day6, our beloved local band, here you go. This has been Jae. Thank you for staying with me tonight. Good night, sweet dreams and don’t forget to subscribe.”

As Jae pushes some buttons on the control panel, music flows and he puts down his headphone making his way towards the room in which you stand paralyzed listening to the song that was playing when you two kissed that night almost a year ago. What the hell?

“You are an idiot!” you punch him on the chest as soon as he steps out of the soundproof booth. You emotions are all over the place varying from delighted, relieved to a bit mad.

“Say something I don’t know,” the boy giggles putting his manly hands over your fists to keep them there close to his heart and then there’s a pause while he expectantly waits for you to say something. It’s rare to see him so hesitant and uncertain because most of the times he seems very sure of himself. But you have never had heart to make him wait for too long so you gather all your courage and tell him how you feel:

“I kind of love you too,” you finally say out loud, softly, cheeks rosy and voice shyly quiet.

“Thank God, it would have been super awkward if you didn’t,” Jae scratches the back of his neck letting out a bit forced rippling laughter.

“You could have said something, I can’t believe I was jealous of myself!” You huff but you almost regret it because Jae has the nerve to keep smirking.

“That was pretty fun to watch,” he remarks lightheartedly and you roll your eyes. Of course, it must had been amusing for him.

You clear your throat nervously before asking the big question: “Sooo what changes?”

“Hm… except for being girlfriend and boyfriend instead of best friends, it can be pretty much the same, I guess. My mom says we already act like a couple,” Jae shrugs with a fond smiles until something crucius doesn’t cross his mind and when he looks down on you, he seems so serious you don’t know what to make out of it. “Oh but the kissing! Let’s not forget that part! We have to kiss now.”

The desperation in his voice makes you giggle and in an instant your feel your previous stiffness dissolving into thin hair. It’s just Jae after all, your best friend whom you trust with all your heart…

“Who said I want to?” you raise an eyebrow in challenge that makes him pout sadly.

“Fine then just let me hold your hand.”

You touch your chin with a finger acting like you’re thinking hard. “I’ll think about it.”

However, Jae knows you and your acting skills too well because he doesn’t seem bothered at all as he turns his back on you like he didn’t care. “Sure.”

“Okay, wait, I made up my mind,” you stop him quickly before he could get farther away and grabbing his hand you stand in front of him. His brown eyes are glimmering stars of the universe as he curiously gazes at you. “I want you to hold my hand and kiss me.”

You surprise yourself being so blunt and a blush is already adorning your features as you duck your head down. But Jae doesn’t let you hide for long as he sneaks his long fingers around your neck, under your jaw and leans down until his lips are ghosting over yours.

“With pleasure,” he whispered raspily in a way that makes your knees weak but you kiss him back with equal force. He tastes like the coffee he drinks and something sweet, addicting, you lose yourself to the feeling but just because you know Jae will always be there to catch you when you fall.

So if being Park Jaehyung’s best friend was already an adventure, being his girlfriend is the whole damn feast but you don’t regret a thing. Never with him.