A/N: Hey everyone, here’s chapter 4. Last chapter ended a bit angsty with Joohyun telling Seulgi that she wanted to raise the baby alone. So, yeah we’re going to pick up right where we left and get right to it.

Seulgi can’t believe this. Joohyun seriously wants to raise their baby alone. How does she possibly expect to go through an entire 9 months of pregnancy without help. The brunette goes through many emotions all at once. She is surprised, disappointed, and of course angry.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, Seul. It’s what’s for the best.”

“No, it’s not.” Seulgi readily disagrees. How can you say that, Hyunnie? Why don’t you want my help? This is our baby.”

It’s what Joohyun hoped to avoid. It was always her intentions to raise her baby alone. She knew Seulgi would feel differently. The woman is a stand up person, who is loyal, dedicated, and would always do the right thing no matter what.

“Seul, I intended to raise the baby alone. I’m sorry, it’s not personal. You’ll see it what’s for the best.”

The monolid woman does not see how this could be for the best. She’s supposed to just ignore the fact that she’ll have a child out there. No, not out there, but with her best friend. Thinking about not being a part of her child’s life is making her angry.

“So, what are you going to do when the baby starts to talk, and asks why they only have you?”

“Seul…”  Joohyun whispers sadly.

“No, really. Tell me what you’re going to do, Hyun. How are you going to introduce our baby to me, huh? Oh, hey kiddo. This is mommy’s best friend?”

Seulgi is angry, and Joohyun can’t blame her for her reaction. Her best friend has every right to be angry. It would be quite awkward for, Joohyun to introduce the baby to Seulgi, and pretend she’s not the mother too.

“Seul, wait…”

“What if, the baby looks like me? Then what? You're not even being fair, Hyun.”

“I’m sorry.” Joohyun apologizes. “I never meant for you to be hurt by this. I did always intend to raise the baby alone.”

“Fine.” The monolid woman nods. “Then raise your baby alone, bye.”

“Wait..” Joohyun starts only the brunette brushes passed her and leaves. The slightly older woman ends up in tears at the sight of Seulgi walking away. She did this. She caused Seulgi’s pain, and she will never forget the look in her eyes. She didn’t mean for any of this to go so wrong. Joohyun has what she has wanted. She has her baby, but now it looks like she might lose someone who means so much to her.

“Seul, I’m so sorry.”

The monolid brunette goes home. She didn’t know what to do with herself for some time. Seulgi was feeling so many emotions, and didn’t know what to do with them. She knows she can’t be so upset with, Joohyun. The older woman said many times she wanted to be able to tell her baby. She cared about the other parent. That was surely a sign of Joohyun’s intention to raise the baby alone. The monolid woman falls into bed tiredly. She is so drained from all the feelings inside of her. Joohyun assured her that she wasn’t just a donor, but isn’t that exactly what she is. Sure, she didn’t go give a sample and there was no lab handling the procedure. Seulgi still feels like a donor, used for her to give Joohyun a baby. A baby she won’t even know if the raven has it her way. Seulgi doesn’t know what to do. Her phone rings besides her. She knows who it is, as if it could be anyone else. Seulgi has no energy to talk to her now. So, she lets it go to voicemail.

“Seul,” Joohyun sighs into the phone when she gets the voicemail. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I didn’t ever intend for this. Please, answer the phone so we can talk. Even if it’s just to yell at me. I need to hear your voice, and….” She stops. God, is she sorry for causing Seulgi pain. The older woman ends the call, and sobs. What if Seulgi never talks to her again? She has her baby now because of. Seulgi. She can’t lose her, not now.

1 month.

It’s been a full month. With not as much as a word from Seulgi. It’s so unusual for them to go this long without talking at all. She hasn’t tried to contact, Seulgi as much as she did in the beginning. She knows the monolid woman is hurt, and the last thing she wants to do is upset Seulgi more, but she misses her so much. She’s not obviously showing yet, but Joohyun can feel the changes going on. Her morning sickness, or rather all the damn time sickness, has been kicking her . It’s been hard to go to work without feeling sick, or throwing up at some point. Certain foods, she once loved are so unappetizing. That she can no longer stand the sight of them. She’s so damn emotional too. She cried for hours at a film that was supposed to be a comedy, and was so angry when the mailman was late delivering her packages.

In short being pregnant, so far really . Then there are times where she is in bed daydreaming about getting to hold her baby. Seeing them for the first time is what brings her back to a sense of happiness. She loves the baby already. So much,  and can’t wait until she can be a mom. Thinking of her unborn child naturally makes her think of Seulgi.

“Your mom is so angry, with me.” She found herself telling her still flat stomach. “How can I make this up to her?”

There’s knocking at the door. It’s too much to hope that it’s Seulgi, but Joohyun finds herself hoping, still. When she gets to the door it’s her cousin Yeri.

“Unnie! Wow you look terrible.” Is what the younger blonde tells her.

“Well, hi to you, Yerim.”

“It’s, Yeri.” Her cousin corrects and hugs her. “Seriously, you look awful. What’s wrong with you?”

She hasn’t told anyone in her life about the plan to have this baby. Only, Seulgi knew of course as she was there for it. Joohyun thinks it’s time she told, Yeri. The girl is family after all. She makes tea, and sits her cousin down in the living room.

“First off. I’m pregnant.”

“I know, that.” Yeri nods. “I can tell, look at your little tummy.” She pokes. “That still doesn’t explain why you look like .”
 

Joohyun is wide eyed, and highly offended. How dare Yeri say she looks like ? Also, how can she tell she’s pregnant. She’s not showing that much. Thank you, very much.

“I’m not even showing that much.”

“What mirror are you using, unnie? You’re huge!” Yeri teases only to get hit in the head right away.

“You shut up, you little brat!”
 

“Hey, ow. I’m going to say these are pregnancy hormones.” That’s when it fully hits Yeri. Her cousin doesn’t like men romantically, and has never liked them. Since when is she pregnant.

“Wait, how are you pregnant? Since when do you like men, unnie?”

“I don’t. It’s actually, a little complicated.”

“Oh, boy. Did you have a drunken one night stand? Why didn’t you use protection, unnie?”

“No, it wasn’t….”

“I’m so disappointed, unnie. I thought I taught you so much better than this.” Yeri sighs, as if she is somehow the older one. When in reality the girl is only 22 years old.

“Listen to me. It wasn’t an unplanned pregnancy. I wanted the baby, and it was intentional. You know my best friend, Seulgi.”

“Oh, the hot one!”

Joohyun rolls her eyes at, Yeri announcing how hot Seulgi is. It’s an obvious fact that her best friend is gorgeous. Everyone knows that, but it’s a little bothersome hearing it from people.

“Yes, the hot one.” Joohyun repeats. “She’s the baby’s mom, um the other mom. She’s inter and I asked her to help me get pregnant. It’s our baby.”

Yeri’s mouth is wide open in shock. Of all the things that Joohyun could have told her. She wasn’t expecting for it to be that, at all. Wow, her cousin leads a more interesting life than she even thought.

“Seulgi is the daddy!”

“Um, no she’s not the daddy. She’s the mother.”

“Yeah, sorry. Then why isn’t she here helping you out. You look terrible, and you’ll need help unnie. Especially as you get further along in the pregnancy. Hey, how far along are you anyway?”

“I’m not sure.”

Joohyun has delayed going to the doctor. She has been nervous to do so, mostly because her fight with Seulgi is still on her mind. She does know she’s definitely closer to 3 months though. She really needs to find out.

“Well, let’s go take you to the doctor and find out. Why don’t you call Seulgi to tell her?”

“I can’t. We had a fight. It’s my fault, though. I told her I wanted to raise the baby alone, so…”

“Oh, you’re an idiot!” The blonde facepalms. What idiotic nonsense, is this? Why would Joohyun ask her best friend to knock her up, only to tell her not to help with the pregnancy, or the baby at all.

“Hey!”

“You’re an idiot. You told your baby’s mother to not help you raise her baby! It’s the stupidest thing I could have heard. Well, come on then. I’ll take you, but you need to fix things with her, unnie. Especially if she wants to help you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Joohyun knows she has to fix this. Seulgi is her best friend, and she can’t imagine never speaking to her again. They’ve been through so much together. They made this baby too, and that will always connect them. She also couldn’t bare it if Seulgi never forgave her. She’ll try her best to make it right.

For Seulgi, it’s been much of the same. She goes to work. Sees her friends if she feels up to it, and she goes home. Not feeling like being social as she normally would. She spends more time on her own. Sometimes taking walks and snapping photos out of boredom. Other times are full of drawing, sketching, or just playing video games more. She was tempted a few times to call Joohyun to ask her to reconsider. That’s her baby, and she wants to be there for both, Joohyun, and her child. She doesn’t understand why the older woman would refuse the help. There are times, Seulgi doesn’t sleep properly, because she’s having nightmares. Dreams of Joohyun and her child. Like last night one of the worst ones yet happened.

She’s with Joohyun watching as she is rocking a newborn back and forth. She can’t tell if the baby is a boy or girl. The blanket is covering them, and the raven looks so beautiful, and motherly. Seulgi can’t help to smile. Joohyun looks like she is just meant to be a mom.

“Hyunnie, hey. Is it a boy or girl? Can I please hold them?” She asks. The shorter woman looks up.

“Hold them?”

“Yea. I’d really like to hold the baby.” Seulgi has her arms open ready for Joohyun to place the baby there. She’s curious to see if the baby looks more like her, with her monolid eyes and bear-like appearance, or if the baby looks more like Joohyun with her adorable face and doll like features. What if the baby looks like the both of them? Like the perfect combination of the two of them.

“You can’t hold my baby, Seulgi.”

“W-What, but why?”