“Café Grind, the place that will grind your perfect coffee while you grind on homework.” That’s what they used to say back when I attended UC Santa Cruz a few years back.

Speaking of college, the reason I am back at this coffee shop is because I am meeting with my old college roommate. It’s been five years since we graduated. I’m now a businesswoman in San Francisco and she is a musical consultant in Los Angeles. We decided to meet because we both needed a break from work and wanted to have a reunion that wasn’t through a phone or laptop camera. What better place to meet than the halfway point between our two homes: the coffee spot where we spent long nights and great drinks together? Plus, she told me she had “big news” and by our previous conversations, I am hoping her girlfriend finally proposed.

Reminiscing the memories, my mind couldn’t help but gravitate to rather bitter and more recent memories: senior projects, researching job openings which ended in failure, temptation to drop my second major. Even the idea of being at this coffee shop post-graduation because I couldn’t find a job right away saddened me.
I guess it’s not all bitter. Like a macchiato, there is sweetness amongst the bitterness. We did graduate, which is something we need to be proud of. Despite the struggles we endured, we both found jobs and no longer have student loans to pay off.

Am I settled? After five years, yes.

Am I comfortable? I guess you can say that.

Am I happy?

Pass.

“Hey, there! Sorry I’m late,” a voice derails me from of my train of sentimentality. I see Doyeon walking towards me, only to stop a few feet from my table. She waves her hand to catch my attention. “Let me order something and I’ll properly greet you! I haven’t slept in two days!” I nod my head in acknowledgment.

Knowing my college best friend was still her eccentric, coffee-driven self comforted me. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her antics. My mind thankfully drifts to better memories: sleep-deprived tomfoolery, spontaneous project ideas, those moments when we could shut down our laptops because we finished a project. I mindlessly stare out the window, remembering midnight jam-out sessions on the sidewalk of this exact coffee shop.

No more than five minutes later, Doyeon is in my sight of vision again. Coffee in hand and happily skipping, I cannot believe the woman in front of me was 27 with a clear future in front of her. “Hello, hello,” starts Doyeon, “Long time, no see my dear friend.”

I stand up and pull her in for a hug. “I know. I’m really sorry. I’m really busy—.”

“With work,” she cuts me off and pulls away from the hug. I’m embarrassed that the lame excuse is a phrase she identified me with. I cower away, back to my seat.

“How have you been?” I ask, trying to change the topic. “How’s Yoojung-eonni?” I was hoping my hint would move on to the ‘big news’ she hyped me up with.

“Yoodaeng is fine. She’s still teaching creative writing at UCLA. She’s considering being a choreographer for their dance team,” she takes a sip of her coffee, “but you know that already.” I expected to hear further jabber about Yoojung, but received nothing.

“How about you? Do anything exciting except slave yourself away to work?” She jokes with a smile.

I roll my eyes. Sadly, I have to dig for around anything she might not know. We do talk about once a month or every two months. Was there anything new I could tell her? “I am taking up taekwondo again.” I then pick up my own coffee for a sip. “It’s good stress relief.”

She raises her eyebrows, clearly not impressed. “Anything else?” She crosses her arms.

I shrug. There was no point in lying. “Nothing really. I’ve settled into my life.”

She raises arms and leans her head back. Before I could question if she was stretching or excessively cringing at my life, she slams her hands on the table. “Girl,” she dramatically starts. “I have the most exciting news for you.” She announces to me as if she was advertising a life-changing product that will bring excitement to my boring life. Hearing her change of tone from casual to excited, I could tell she was going to spill the ‘big news’. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was eager to find out.
“Sejeong-eonni is back in town for a few shows. Some producers from Sony are coming to watch.”

Okay. So an old group mate is in town. I care because?
Wait.

I take a sip of my latte, bracing myself for what Doyeon is going to say next. I’m suddenly regretting meeting with her in person. Flashbacks of numerous demo tracks and the overall failure of breaking into the music scene cloud my mind. At the bottom of a coffee drink is the bitter residue. That’s where this conversation was heading: me leaving and with a bitter taste. I had a hunch where Doyeon’s explanation was leading, but I didn’t want to accept it. I’m done with music. When I was 23, I needed a stable job, not to continue chasing a helpless dream. At 27, I’m now a successful businesswoman. The double major in music is now a lost memory.

“I'm extremely confused about what you expect me to do with this information, Doyeon-eonni,” I muster out. I knew I was being safe and beating around the bush, but I just couldn’t comprehend the sudden news. I take a sip of my coffee, hoping it would bring me to another sense. Maybe Doyeon just wanted to support an old friend. Maybe she just wanted to tell me Sejeong was in town. Maybe nothing. Actually, I didn’t want to comprehend the news. I didn’t expect our conversation to turn this way and I didn’t like it one bit. I wanted us to just move on and catch up on life, talk about our families and work accomplishments. I was scouring the last sips of my conversation. Moments ago, I was already drinking the strong residue. I knew how bitter the taste was, but I continued talking, hoping for more out of the conversation when in reality, there really is only bitter residue at the bottom of the cup.

Doyeon purses her lips, clearly annoyed at my passiveness. It reminds me of our last fight before I left our group to pursue a different career. “Why do I have to be so blunt in front of you?” She snarls.

 “We want you back,” she proclaims. “We want you to sing again.” 

 

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A/N: Ohoho~ Didn't see that coming didja?

I wrote this for my creative writing class over the summer. I was planning on posting this story in December since I only had to change a few things, but finals and having a social life appeared. Thank you for being patient.

Hope you enjoyed some angst. The prompt for this story was "I'm extremely confused about what you expect me to do with this information." I had 30 minutes to write and when I turned this in for my final portfolio I really vamped it up for a couple weeks. Don't think I'll continue it since it's kinda just random plot. So sorry to disappoint :\

Hope you guys are enjoying any IOI reunions this wonderful new year!