Exhausted. If Jongin were to describe how he has been feeling for weeks, said word is very much apt. Being in his last year in college, juggling preparation for his final exam for Dance Composition and taking part in his group’s project in Dance Production and Planning is bound to take most of his time outside of his classes. It has been going on for more than a month and has already taken its toll on Jongin’s mental and physical health.

And then there is the matter of his emotional health.

Jongin trudged aimlessly and helplessly in the mall. His back pocket felt like burning from the latest message that he has just received a few minutes prior. A message that has become a quite familiar sight inside his inbox already. For the nth time, the Dance major sighed as the words “sorry” and “I’m busy” rang in his consciousness.

He thought he finally understood how his girlfriend felt when he used the same excuses. But Jongin couldn’t help it. His future will be on the line if he ends up ing his chance for stellar grades. If his focus gets derailed from his studies, he could give a goodbye kiss to his dream of becoming one of Korea’s best performers.

Minhee was understanding about it. She didn’t throw a hissy fit that Jongin was preparing himself for. All those times that he has bailed on her, she always told him that there is always a next time and he needs to make it up to her.

So there Jongin was, given a week-long break and taking the opportunity to do his boyfriend duties. Yet he still failed after the fourth attempt of spending time with his girlfriend.

It is a Thursday afternoon, yet, there are not much people roaming about. It made Jongin feel a bit more lonely, incidentally signing himself up to solitude amongst the sparse souls around him. He should’ve checked with Minhee first before heading there. Maybe it was still too early for surprises. It would be their first meeting in weeks. Jongin pouted to himself, feeling guilty of not knowing the recent changes in his own girlfriend’s schedule.

There was not much to do alone, Jongin thought. He could just go home and ask what time Minhee will finish and pick her up for dinner. But then, it was still pretty early and he wouldn’t want his effort to go to waste.

Groceries. He remembered that he and his roommate Chanyeol were supposed to replenish their food stock the following day. Since he is already in the mall, maybe he could be the better roommate and get the task out of the way. It could be his payback for the times that Chanyeol has cooked for extra portions when he knew Jongin will be exhausted from practice.

Content, Jongin took out his phone to ask Chanyeol for the grocery list. He was too focused on composing his message (he forgot to wear his contacts or glasses) that he accidentally bumped into someone.

Were you paying attention to where you were going?

They were the words that popped into Jongin’s head but shrugged them off. He wasn’t paying much attention to his surroundings too. He just opted to apologize and get a move on when he noticed something.

He smelled something familiar upon contact. It is the same perfume that Minhee uses.

Was that encounter a wake up call for Kim Jongin? Probably.

Jongin spun on his heels to utter his apology for being ungentlemanly but the words got stuck in his throat halfway.

“I’m so--”

It turned out that the person he collided with wasn’t just using the same fragrance brand as his girlfriend but it is her. It’s just that her arm is hooked around a guy’s arm.

When did the mall became the laboratory that Minhee has claimed to be in, when she said that she couldn’t come to meet Jongin? And since when did Yura become a guy with golden hair and around Jongin’s height? Last time he checked, Yura's Chanyeol’s sister, a lady with long, wavy bronze hair.

Jongin froze. Nothing's making sense to him. Not the way Minhee’s eyes widened. Not the way she tried to pull her arm from the guy she’s with. Not the blatant lie that he was told by his girlfriend. Not the way that the guy tried to pull Jongin’s girlfriend closer, refusing to let go.

Minhee was supposed to be busy with her project.

Minhee was supposed to be with Yura.

Minhee was supposed to meet Jongin if her schedule was as free as letting her to be in the mall with someone.

Minhee was supposed to only get that close to Jongin since they are in a relationship.

Minhee was supposed to be with Jongin.

Well, was.

In reality, Jongin’s expectations were never met. He is seeing Minhee right in front of him, seemingly having a date with someone who isn’t Jongin. She is out with another man who isn’t her boyfriend. Does he dare to ask who the guy was? He’s already considered asking if the guy is family but he bore no resemblance with Minhee.

Somehow, Jongin has already met Minhee’s family and he has never seen the guy nor someone who he could relate him with. His first instinct was to give Minhee the benefit of the doubt but the shock wasn’t making him as rational as he would want to be.

Hurt, disappointment and uncertainty are the emotions causing a storm inside his chest at that moment. He wants to talk, he wants to ask Minhee for an explanation for what possibly could be a lie and for the guilty expression that she has just shown. He wants to ask what the guy whispered to her that made her nod and avert her eyes from Jongin.

It was clear as day but Jongin refuses to see it.

The next thing that Jongin knew was a gentle hold on his shoulder, a little pressure and something pressed right at the corner of his lips.

“I’m sorry I’m late, baby.”

Someone has just kissed Jongin and called him baby yet he wasn’t able to move as another shock settles in him. It was a guy’s voice and a hella familiar one but his brain has failed to supply him the proper name that goes with it.

“So I see you here again, Minhee,” the voice spoke once again and then it chuckled abashedly. “I guess the cat’s out of the bag this way?”

“Jongin,” the voice called and by instinct, Jongin followed the sound until his eyes landed on Do Kyungsoo, a senior Vocal major and the Vice-Chairman of the Artists’ Guild. He’s smiling sheepishly at him as he took hold of Jongin’s right arm, latching right onto him. “Do you want to go or…” he tilted his head towards Minhee and the guy she’s with.

The slight squeeze on his bicep and the imploring eyes was meant to deliver Jongin a message that he understood when the grip on him tightened a bit. His senses were starting to come back and the bitter taste gathering in his mouth is giving him the urge to puke. It will not be pretty so he better excuse himself.

Thank goodness Do Kyungsoo has offered him his escape.

A burst of confidence had Jongin swinging an arm around his batch mate’s shoulders and a smirk pushing up a corner of his lips. “See you around, Minhee,” he held back a sneer, “and… Sorry, man. I didn’t get your name?”

“Yonghwa. Lee Yonghwa.”

“Hmmm, Yonghwa. Nice to meet you,” he even had the strength to offer his hand that Yonghwa took, albeit looking puzzled. “I can see that you’ll be taking care of my ex-girlfriend so good luck,” Jongin took his hand back with a flinch but kept his composure for a couple more seconds. “We’ll be going. Come on, babe.”

He trembled and for some reason, Kyungsoo understood and held his waist firmly for support as they turned their backs on Jongin’s now-ex-girlfriend. Three steps away from them and he dropped his faςade completely, along with a couple of tears.

It is embarrassing. A grown man like Jongin has tried to hide himself behind someone quite smaller compared to his build and bawled his eyes out. They may be in a secluded corner of a bustling coffee shop, but his cries could still be heard within three feet radius. He hadn’t thought of checking the time and just let his pain and sadness flow through his tears.

Kyungsoo had let him be his human tissue and pillow, offering him comforting pats and murmurs of positivity. The Dance major is lucky to have stumbled upon an acquaintance and the said acquaintance was kind enough to save his face in front of a heartbreak.

He felt, rather than heard, Kyungsoo speak to someone and a light thud made Jongin slightly curious. His shifting prompted Kyungsoo to help him to right himself up and there was a mug of steaming hot chocolate right in front of him. The arm that has held him retracted, much to his dismay, and the Vocal major gave him his personal space.

A thoughtful gesture but Jongin would rather have someone to cling onto at the moment.

“Many of my friends feel better after a mug of hot chocolate so help yourself,” Kyungsoo offered as he slid the unimposing mug closer.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin ducked his head low. How thickheaded he had been for being so dependent on someone who is practically a stranger? They weren’t really friends and yet Jongin was abusing his kindness. Kyungsoo might’ve just acted out of concern and Jongin was already taking advantage of him. Without wanting to add ‘rude’ beside his name in Kyungsoo’s list, he reached for the mug and took a sip.

An instant sense of calm soothed him from the smooth and sweet drink he had, momentarily putting a smile on his lips. He could feel Kyungsoo looking at him and the attention had him blushing. Who would’ve wanted to expose oneself to someone who you don’t have anything to do with? They might be members of the same club but his interaction with Kyungsoo ends there, with the exception of small his and hellos when civility calls for it.

“Jongin, can I be honest with you?”

He shrugged. It wasn’t like he had anything else to lose.

“It… Today wasn’t the first time that I saw Minhee with the guy she was with,” Kyungsoo confessed. Jongin could only nod. Bits and pieces of what happened during the confrontation have come back to him and he did remember Kyungsoo saying the same thing when he swooped in to save him.

Jongin could feel his eyes prickle. “Maybe she’s grown tired of waiting. I… I’ve not been a good boyfriend lately.”

There was silence between them, the buzz coming from the other customers were toned down to almost background static. Jongin may have understood why Minhee chose to give up but it still hurt. He cared for her deeply, maybe he was even in love with her but it was hard to tell then. His emotions are all over the place. He was truly honest with her and from all the times that Jongin tried to ask her if she was okay, she’s never voiced out any problem.

How was Jongin to know that she was unhappy already?

“To be honest, I don’t think you deserve to be cheated on, Jongin,” Kyungsoo scooted closer, his presence weakens Jongin’s walls. The urge to open up and further expose himself was getting stronger. He knew that the other has been treated like the mom in their circle of friends but to feel his effect first hand is a blessing for him and his broken heart. “No matter what her reason was, she shouldn’t have kept you in the dark. She should’ve considered your feelings,” the gentle pats were back and shamelessly, Jongin returned to his crying position, wedged between the backrest and Kyungsoo’s back.

The younger could already infer that Minhee might not care for him as much as he does for her but hearing it come from another person just makes it even more true. An ugly truth that Jongin had to accept.

For the nth time, he could feel his phone vibrate from his pocket but he left it alone. He checked the first few times and knowing that it was his ex-girlfriend, he didn’t bother. It would be too much for him if he sees her soon.

When Jongin still hasn’t said a word, Kyungsoo’s apology came next. “I might’ve said something I shouldn’t have. I’m in no position to…”

“Hyung, can you… can we just stay this way? Please.”

The elder relented and he didn’t stop Jongin when he wrapped his arms around him and continued to wet his shirt and muffle his cries on his surprisingly firm back.

The next Artists’ Guild meeting that Jongin has found himself in has been awkward.

It was just three days after the mall incident and the only reason why he was able to show up was Park Chanyeol’s insistence and annoyingly loud yapping. Jongin has been completely content in burrowing himself under his sheets and pillows, the only work he felt like doing. Everything else were too much for his physical health and sanity.

They were about to discuss the final showcase from the Performing Arts department and all senior students’ participation is mandatory. Being in the list of running for honors, it was only proper that Jongin graces the meeting with his presence, or else. This was what boosted him up from his bed and scrambling for his toiletries.

The moment that he has stepped foot into the meeting room, his fleeing instinct was full on as he spotted Minhee sitting beside Yura. The two ladies were huddled close and were whispering about something that Jongin tried not to care about. For a second, he was scared that Chanyeol will wave her sister over like usual and consequently would bring him closer to his ex-girlfriend.

Apparently, she still brings Chanyeol’s sister to the Guild’s meetings. But seeing her is something that he doesn't need at the moment.

Out of habit, his peripheral view still gave him details that he has been instinctively noting about Minhee. What she’s wearing, what color are they, how her hair is done and how light or heavy her makeup is for the day.

Until he remembered he shouldn’t be paying attention to those details anymore.

His faltering steps might’ve clued in his roommate. Chanyeol gave a salute to Yura and headed towards the front seats where the apple of his eye was in deep discussion with no other than Do Kyungsoo. Jongin felt an uplift in his spirits and rushed towards his new found friend. His face felt like splitting when he started to have a semblance of a smile after days of brooding.

Kyungsoo’s eyes shone in understanding and he beckoned him over with a tilt of his head and a soft smile on his lips. These had Jongin almost sprinting towards him.

“Hi,” Kyungsoo greeted as Jongin screeched to a stop right in front of him.

“Hi yourself,” Jongin grinned and it was easier than he thought. He could feel the questioning stare at his back from multiple directions but it was easier to tune into something that brings him comfort. Or rather, someone.

Concern scrunched up Kyungsoo’s face and Jongin has barely had time to react when he felt a hand patting his right cheek. It was a light, feathery touch but it sent his insides trembling. He barely made out the question from the other with what he has been feeling. It’s too much for his senses that turned sluggish during his hermit phase.

“How long have you been in bed? There are still sheet marks on your cheeks,” Kyungsoo was chuckling at him and Jongin must’ve been lookin