WARNING : ANGST !!!!!

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"Seriously Baekho. How many times do I have to say it? It's just for work! For Work!"
"Okay! Then just let me go back, what harm could it do? Please I beg you just this once. Let me live with my parents."
"I know you're like this because you're suspicious of me again."
Baekho just keep quit at that.
"For whatever reason, don't go to Jeju. I forbid you! If you don't want to taint your husband's name, stay in this house the whole time I go."
Baekho then get out of their shared room. Too tired to make reasons. Too tired to get involved in this fight again.

-----

They fight again that night.

Minhyun is really tired. Baekho is always doubting him. Giving him numerous questions just for a single business trip. And now, he even request unimaginable things like going back home to his parent's house in Jeju.

In Minhyun's mind there's no other reason for him to act like that. For Baekho to ask to be sent back home, there can be only one reason. But whatever that reason is, he won't allow Baekho to go back home. Not today, or any other days later.

Minhyun is at fault though. Minhyun knew he's at fault. He has cheat on him numerous times. He had been found out by him countlessly. And he never once apologize for it.

So it's understandable that Baekho finally blow out. This whole act of please sent me back home is just his way of protesting against that years and years of affair. But he should have done it before, when he have that evidence, when he's in doubt with him, when he knew Minhyun is cheating.

Because now Minhyun is not going to cheat on him again.

Minhyun is never in love with him. For him, his husband is just a ladder to climb on the hierarchy of the ruthless life. For him to get on top, he needs the power, money, and influence Baekho's family had.

He's also had a very big resentment toward the shorter male. He had stolen his one and only love back then when they're both student of a prestigious university.

It really was quiet a plot twist. How that girl break up with Minhyun and said he wanted to pursue his love with Baekho. How one day Minhyun found out the University's prince is rejecting her. And how he end up confessed to by the very person he loathed the most.

Finally, they end up here. Trapped in this lifetime prison called marriage. Having to go through daily dose of fighting. And forever be miserable.

Minhyun tried numerous times to find another love. To challenge himself up to try and get out this prison. But none. Not once had he found a true love. Every girl and boy he thought loved him was fake. All they want is his money, his fame, and his influence. They make him sick as they resemble himself so much.

In that adventure of finding true love Baekho is always dragged along. As the husband of a not loving and unfaithful him, Baekho had to cry every night. He had to go through humiliation of having a 'multi player' partner. He had to taint himself to stay and be his husband.

And Minhyun hates that the most. Baekho is so fake. Every time they heard that insult right on their face he always defended Minhyun. Every time people point out Minhyun's fault, some even sent evidences of his affair, Baekho just said that it's his fault that Minhyun can't love him yet.

Two months into their third year anniversary, and never once the word break up came from him.

That's why Minhyun hate him even more. His fakeness, his hero-wannabe act, and his 'love' is just a way to save their company. In Minhyun's eye, Baekho's love is merely a play he acted whole heartedly to keep their business running.

So Minhyun chose to just do the same. In the age of thirty Minhyun thought love is impossible to find. He had decided to stop his journey of finding true love. He had chose to dedicate himself for this business. For this lifetime business contracts he believe he had signed when he wrote his name on that marriage certificate.

A month long business trip. When he heard that, he felt like crazy imagining the whole month without Baekho. A whole month without cold air and awkward stares. A whole month of not fighting.

Minhyun signed the business trip pass for himself. As a CEO of one of the most successful branch the biggest Corporate industry in South Korea, Minhyun is never obliged to go do business research himself. He doesn't need to do such a long and tiring trip just for determining the success of one of their product. If it was other people, the will just send their subordinate and wait for the result as they play and enjoy their time.

But for Minhyun this is a golden opportunity. This is his only chance to finally breath and get out of Baekho's clutch. He wanted to free himself from his husband.

But it won't be a day for them if they don't fight. The night before his early flight to New York, Baekho ask the impossible. He ask to be sent back home to Jeju.

They fight but not as long. That night, doesn't like any other night, Baekho comply easily. After Minhyun shouts at him saying he can't make them suspicious by going back to his parent right after he's gone, Baekho just nod and said yeah.

Minhyun slept right away and let his husband took care of his suitcase. Just like his other trips.

----

This is the longest trip and, apparently, the loneliest. In every other 'business' trip before Minhyun always had a companion as in a girl or boy to spend the night with.

But because he had decided to stop that, he spent the night roaming the unfamiliar street, tiring himself to sleep.

One night, he met Jason.

Jason, an old lad at a bakery shop he had frequent in the last 20 days of his stay in New York. Jason is not a man of many words. It suprise Minhyun when he ask him to grab a coffee together.

Minhyun is not someone that likes to be too friendly with strangers. But Jason felt like a long time acquaintance. Something in him reminds him of his late grandpa.

They only take out some warm coffee from Jason's neighbourhood cafe. They take a walk to a park and sit there in silence.

"You should try to call him" Jason said suddenly, breaking the silence between them.
"Who?" Minhyun asked. Clearly confused at the suggestion.
"Your lover? Or partner? I don't know. But you seem really lonely. In your eyes I see the longing for a really important person." Jason took a sip of his coffee and keep facing the front.
Minhyun really can't put a finger on why he's suddenly like that. Minhyun felt okay. He doesn't miss anyone.

Well maybe he is. It's too peaceful. The whole days he spent without anyone is too quiet. Maybe he is. He's missing that person after all.

Minhyun has pride. And it won't allow him to call Baekho. What will he say anyway. They hate each other. Let's just hold it in for another ten days.

"You can love and cherish the one you love as much as you want, but, do you know what's more important, yet harder to do? It's to recognize those people who really love you unconditionally, to cherish them, before your time with them is up"

The last words Jason said to him is somehow always rings back, again and again.
-----

One night, three night before his flight home, he met Baekho in his dream. In his utmost beauty. The cheery him from college. The boy he almost fall for if it was not for the resentment he had towards him.

Minhyun woke up from that dream feeling weird.
After shower and morning routine he found out he has only one single clean attire left in his still unpacked suitcase. Minhyun wore it and made a mental note to call the laundry and ask them to send his clean clothes.

When it's supposed to be empty, Minhyun saw the last thing that's left in his suitcase.

A thick book with leather cover. He took it and read it. It's a diary. Diary of Baekho.

It'll be rude of him to read this without his permission. But it's Baekho's fault to accidentally put it here.

So Minhyun read it.

Day 1
2014 December 15th
Finally. The day. He's gonna be mine hopefully. Even though he's not mine wholly yet, I can make him that later in the way. I'll make Hwang Minhyun in love with me.

Day 2
2014 December 16th
Day 1 as the husband of Mr. Hwang Minhyun. Well, nothing different. Except that I felt wonderful. Hwang Minhyun is there when I open my eyes this morning. And He's beautiful! Like dazzling, really, shining, and just, wonderful. Yeah, nothing new I know. He's always like that. Ever since day 1 (not day 1 from this diary, but from day 1 I saw him).

Day 3
2014 December 17th
Okay. It's awkward. I thought I saw my husband flirting with his secretary. Or am I too sensitive? Yeah, maybe that. Too tired today. But let's try harder to make him love me? Yeah!

Minhyun remember how cheerful Baekho was, always smiling with that wide and toothy smile.