“Random acts of kindness. Has anyone heard of this?” The young teacher looked around at the bored faces of his students. No one made a move to answer except for a particularly overzealous boy in the back.

The teacher nodded at him to answer and the child straightened in his seat, grinning. “It’s when a stranger does something nice for another stranger, like picking up their books or giving them free movie tickets or paying off a debt for them.”

“Yes, that’s right,” he smiled slightly, turning back to the board and tapping the black printed words with the tip of a finger. “Has anyone ever done something like this?”

Again, the boy in the back raised his hand.

“Great,” the teacher stated, opening a drawer and pulling out handful after handful of novellas. The covers were simple as he held one up to show the class. Maroon stripes stretched across diagonally, acting as a background for curvy black letters printed across the front. “This is the next book you’ll be reading for class. I expect it done by Friday so we can have an in-class discussion. It’s called Fateful Kindness by Marcus.”

“An English author?” one of the students prompted as she received one of the books. “Was it translated into Korean?”

“Ah, something like that,” the teacher replied, walking back to his desk after distributing the final stack to the row closest to the window. The bell rang a few seconds later, dismissing all of the rowdy kids. Of course none of them wanted to stay longer than necessary so they fought to get out the door, their teacher simply watching them with mild amusement.

One boy didn’t appear to be part of the mass though. He came up to the teacher slowly, all of his belongings left behind on the surface of his corner desk. The only thing in his hand was the novella. “Hey…can you tell me about this?” the student asked, waving the assigned text in the air.

“Why don’t you open it and read it?” he scoffed, sounding far too immature for an educator.

“Aw, c’mon Mr. Cho, please tell me what it’s about? I’m busy after school and I won’t be able to get through this whole book by Friday.”

Mr. Cho raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. “Is my class and your education second string to dancing?” He smirked at the surprise on his student’s face. “You can’t really think I’m oblivious. I’ve seen you dancing during lunch for your friends and I’ve also seen you running out of school carrying a sports bag. It’s easy to put the pieces together, Eunhyuk.”

A pale flush appeared on the boy’s face. “Oh…yeah, I guess it is. So you understand then?” He clasped his hands together, palm smacking against the cover of the book. “I have an important dance competition coming up this Saturday and I really need to focus on practicing this week. I’ll be at the studio from 5 ‘til midnight every day of this week.”

Sighing, Mr. Cho picked up a spare copy of the novella. “It’s a love story.”

Eunhyuk’s eyes sparked with interest. He settled down on a desk, staring at his teacher whose gaze was far away now.

“Here, I’ll read you the introduction,” his teacher said, opening up to the first chapter and taking a deep breath. He read:

I hadn’t meant for it to happen. I only did it because my friend told me to – something about being too “evil” the past few days. So I was roped into what he called a random act of kindness.At first, I wondered what he meant but then I realized the phrase meant exactly that.

A random act of kindness.

Some way, somehow I found myself in the check-out line paying for someone else’s hefty sum of groceries. Waiting at the door was my friend, smirking like a little demon. The original plan was to run away quickly before I had to face the person I was acting kindly to but that backfired.

After all, if it didn’t backfire then this story would be done here and now.

You see, it isn’t though. We’re just at the starting line.

“Who are the characters?” Eunhyuk asked immediately, intrigued by the excerpt read to him.

The handsome man set the book down. “The love interest is someone named Jīn Lìxù. The narrator is never named as he continuously uses ‘I’.”

“Wait, wait,” the student rubbed his chin, brows knitted, “the author is American but the characters are Chinese? What sort of book is this?”

“Read it,” Mr. Cho shrugged, making a move to check his phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow and if you have any questions about the book feel free to ask me in the morning or after school tomorrow.” He sent a text message before tucking the device back into his pocket and standing up to leave. All of his things were already in order, blazer thrown over one shoulder.

Eunhyuk watched his teacher turn away, striding out the door in somewhat of a hurry. Glancing back down at the book in hand, Eunhyuk muttered to himself and then went about gathering his things to leave for dance practice.

That night, Eunhyuk fell down on top of his sheets, releasing a tired groan. He thought about going to bed right then but for some reason he remembered Mr. Cho’s assignment. After some contemplating, he leaned over the edge of the bed, dug through his backpack, and pulled out the slim book.

What could Eunhyuk say? Mr. Cho had always been one of his favorite teachers.

Flipping past the introduction, he began reading.

Chapter 1

As I said earlier, I never expected to be caught, but his face…the way those eyes locked onto mine created an undeniable electricity. My hands were trembling and my knees were daring to buckle under the weight of my body. All of it was embarrassing to say the least.

His eyes were widely gazing up at me, confusion imprinted in those lovely pupils. Soft looking, pink lips formed an oval. “Uhm, excuse me?” he inquired, head tilting to one side as he indicated the money in my outstretched hand.

The employee took the cash without a word, ignoring whatever was going on between the two of us. Then again, what was going on? I had simply performed a “Random Act of Kindness”. My minor attraction to his face was pure and shallow.

Clearing my throat, I spoke to the man who appeared to be younger than me. “Don’t worry about it. I can see those all aren’t just for you right?” I smiled a tad uneasily, “Have a nice day.” My attempt to bolt from the situation failed when his fingers curled around the hem of my tee shirt.

A small, worried smile curved his lips. “Thank you…,” he said, stepping out of the cashier line, “Is there any way I can repay you? Really?” The earnestness in his voice was what stopped me from refusing him. He truly wanted to repay me for being kind. Didn’t that wholly defeat the purpose of my actions?

“Well, I’m not sure what I can ask of you,” I replied.

“Anything,” he assured, “do you want something to drink? Or maybe there’s something I could do for you?”

Several explicit thoughts ran through my mind, dirtying his words thoroughly. I shook them away as quickly as possible and took the bags of food from him. “I like eating homemade food. Do you want to make something for me?” Why was I making dinner plans with him? Why was I forcing myself into a corner?

A bright light radiated off his skin from my answer. Those gentle eyes sparkled and I swore my entire body shivered with warmth. “Here, give me your address and I’ll stop by tonight,” he said, taking out his phone to jot down information.

How could he be so naïve? What if I planned on attacking him? What if I was some sort of murderer? Yet, I knew I wasn’t. So there was no real problem right?

I gave him my address and name before asking him what he went by. The slender man put the phone away and headed towards the exit with me beside him. “I’m Lìxù. It’s very nice to meet you. Ah, I can take care of these from here.” He offered his slim hands and all I could do was chuckle.

“I’ll just carry them to your car, Lìxù,” I stated, nodding for him to enter the parking lot.

Hesitant at first, Lìxù eventually gave in and went off at a brisk pace towards a pale green Volkswagen Beetle. I couldn’t help but smile at how well the car fit its owner, appearance-wise. Well, perhaps I had a great enough grasp on his personality to say it fit that as well.

After packing everything in the trunk, I shut the green metal and walked around to where the small man leaned against the driver side door. “All done,” I announced.

“Thank you,” he said sweetly, pushing off the car to offer his hand. “I’ll see you later tonight then.”

I took that delightfully delicate hand, shaking it softly. “Okay, I’ll be waiting then.” Smiling one more time, I turned around and walked back to where my oh-so weary friend stood. With a sheepish grin, I told him Lìxù and I had dinner plans for that night.

His reply was far from appropriate for publication.

The rest of the chapter was lost as Eunhyuk dropped the book and snores filled the dimly lit bedroom.

***

“Yes?” Mr. Cho nodded at one of his students who was fidgeting and waving their raised hand urgently. It was Tuesday; just one day after the assignment had been released.

The girl frowned, mouth opening and closing a few times silently. On the third try she managed to get across her question. “Why are we reading a gay book?”

All at once, the class burst out laughing, some from fear, some from spite, and others from unease. Their teacher however was far from pleased. His face stayed calm and composed, piercingly dark eyes trained on the girl.

“What class are we in?” Mr. Cho inquired.

She answered immediately, “Advanced Literature.”

“So might I ask why your question presents itself in such a narrow-minded way?” The class fell utterly silent.

The girl lowered her eyes for only a moment before shooting Mr. Cho an annoyed glare. “Because this book is blasphemy,” she declared flatly, “Why are we reading something like this in a literature class? We should be reading Shakespeare or Dante or—”

“—and what do you suppose defines literature as literature?” he cut in sharply. “Is it the date that it was published? Is it the level of popularity? What makes you so certain a blasphemous book has no meaning? Are you so unable to see beyond your personal duties? Is a life without controversy and tolerance worth living?”

“You’re disrespecting my beliefs, Mr. Cho.”

He shook his head, arms crossed over chest. “You’re disrespecting a piece of literature. If you’re so insecure that you can’t read a book about homouals then I advise you to drop this class and join a regular class. Certainly with such close-minded ideas you won’t be able to fathom the deeper meaning in Fateful Kindness.”

She reddened with embarrassment and fury before standing up and leaving the classroom. Her copy of the book slid across the tiled floor. Mr. Cho turned back to the rest of the stunned students. “Anyone else want to follow her? I have no problem with that if you do.”

Two others stood up, leaving the room in a quieter fashion.

Mr. Cho asked, “Anyone else?”

Three more stood up.

Those were the final drop-outs though. The rest appeared intrigued by their teacher and the book far more than they had been the previous day or even the previous minute. Mr. Cho smiled at them. “I see all of you are the only ones worth teaching.”

Some laughed, others grinned, but the thing to note was the pure pride on their faces. Being complimented by the infamously harsh teacher was nice.

“Alright, does anyone have any questions concerning the novella?” Mr. Cho peered around, finding someone’s hand up.

The boy nodded slightly before asking, “Do you know why the author never named the main character? I’m on Chapter 3 and I still have no idea who anyone is aside from Lìxù.”

“No, his name is never given,” the teacher replied, “I suppose there are a few reasons Marcus didn’t give his character name, If you’re already halfway through then do you have any guesses?”

“Hmm…,” the boy fixed his drooping glasses, concentrating on the text, “I…wonder if it’s because the novella isn’t about him?”

Eunhyuk glanced at the studious classmate. “What do you mean? He’s the narrator so it has to be about him, Kibum,” he stated.

“Not necessarily,” the boy named Kibum replied, “The narrator could just be using his thoughts to talk about Lìxù. Actually, I’m almost positive Lìxù is the story’s main character, no matter how you examine it.”

Mr. Cho’s shoulders rose and fell casually. “I suppose you’ll all find out on Friday.”

The bell rang at the end of the period and what students were left walked towards the door. Eunhyuk stayed again though, walking up to talk to his teacher for a few minutes before going to dance practice. “Hey,” he greeted, waving a tiny bit.

“What is it?” Mr. Cho asked simply, packing his notebooks and planners. His cell phone buzzed on a pile of ungraded reports and he shot it a look before turning back to look at Eunhyuk.

“I just felt like saying that chick that walked out on your class is stupid.” He looked away when he saw the surprise flit across his teacher’s face. “I mean it. You’re a super hard grader and pretty mean in general but you make a lot of sense. As a teacher I don’t think there’s anyone better than you at this school. It’s her loss, Cho.”

“Mr. Cho,” he corrected prior to smiling and saying, “yes I know it is. She’ll be missing out on some very interesting things. I hope you’ll be around to read about them though.”

Eunhyuk nodded. “Oh, is there something important you need to get to?”

“Why do you ask?”

“You keep looking at your phone and your phone won’t shut up either,” Eunhyuk explained, pointing at the incessant vibrating phone.

Mr. Cho laughed softly. “Yeah…I guess I have somewhere to be.” He picked it up somewhat reluctantly and waved goodbye to his student.

The teenager watched his teacher disappear around a corner. Straightening, Eunhyuk grabbed his belongings and hurried for the exit. Maybe staying after to talk to Mr. Cho every day was bad. It had become a hassle to get to dance class on time.

Then again…Eunhyuk rather enjoyed talking to the educator. He had never felt close to any of his teachers before so it was nice to feel a connection with Mr. Cho. Besides, being friendly with a teacher was a sure way to make it farther in school, right?

The light was already on in his room when he got back at half-past midnight. Eunhyuk rubbed his sore temples, not bothering to look at his visitor. “Hey, Sungmin,” he muttered. There was only one person who had free access into his bedroom and it wasn’t his mother.

“Hi~,” Sungmin replied, hugging Eunhyuk’s bunny-shaped stuffed animal. “I came to pick you up! But you weren’t around so I’ve been hanging in your room for a good part of the night.”

Eunhyuk ruffled the boy’s hair, leaning down to kiss him. “Sorry, I know you’re only back from college for a little while…but I’ve been busy with dancing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sungmin grumbled, pulling Eunhyuk down on the bed. “It’s fine. I’m really excited to see your performance this Saturday so I’ll forgive you for ignoring me.” Noticing the thin book sticking out of his boyfriend’s bag, he scooped it up. Sungmin leafed through the book, tossing it aside after a moment for two.

With a grin, he rolled on top of Eunhyuk, palms pressing against a muscular chest. “How about I stay over tonight…? No one is home, you know.” He pressed an open mouthed kiss to his boyfriend’s collar. “We haven’t been together in a long time. I’ve really missed you.”

“I should really read that book tonight,” Eunhyuk muttered half-heartedly eyeing the discarded pages. The resolve to read vanished the moment he felt shudder-inducing movements over his tight pants. “I guess I could wait…”

The small boy smirked, leaning up to press his lips against Eunhyuk’s. “Good.”

Surely Mr. Cho would understand that being with your lover was very important. The story he had assigned was all about that, right? It was another sappy love story about regular people finding one another, going through some , and then coming out happy as can be. Or in other fictional literature, either lovers die or one of them kills his or herself.

So what if there was a hidden meaning? Everything had a hidden meaning. Eunhyuk could just figure that out at a later date. For now, he wanted to focus on the delicious sensations rolling through his body.

***

Thursday rolled by and Eunhyuk decided to stay after class to talk to his teacher about the assignment. Over and over again he had rehearsed what he would say but when time came to finally do it, Mr. Cho was surprisingly upset.

“What?” Eunhyuk had stammered, taking a step back from the livid instructor.

Mr. Cho shook his head, fingers curling into fists on the table top. “I told you to read it, Eunhyuk. How can you expect me to give you an extension when the story was five chapters long?” He raised his dark eyes to the student. “How much did you actually read?”

“Like…the first half of chapter one,” he answered in a quiet voice.

“And you expect to be handed an extension?” Mr. Cho snapped. “Extensions don’t come just because you want them too or just because your betting they will. Life is a cruel game you can’t redo. No matter how much you search for that on and off switch, that second life, that restart button, it will never come. You are liable for your decisions and if you chose not to read this book then that’s your fault. Expect a zero for participation in the discussion tomorrow.”

He didn’t wait for Eunhyuk to defend himself – not like Eunhyuk could even think of something to say – and headed for the exit, phone tightly clenched in hand.

And so, Eunhyuk made an executive decision. After dance practice that night, he sat down in bed and read,

We kissed under the light of the moon, skin bathed in the warm breeze of a midsummer night. Beneath all of the sweat and dirt we were able to feel each other’s hearts beating. Every touch was a jolt of electricity. Every breath was a sweet whisper.

I came to believe that I was invincible.

Although I had such bad points, here I was, being awarded. What else could you call Lìxù? He made me see the world differently. My eyes weren’t blinded by bitterness anymore. I could freely smile at him, at everyone really.

Lìxù brought me to a place I never knew existed. My friend doubted it, saying it was just an illusion. I didn’t believe him though. I only believed what I could see and that was the absolute promise of forever.

and read,

He collapsed again. I don’t know why. I keep trying to ask him but he won’t answer me. Sometimes when I come back to our apartment I’ll find him sleeping on the floor, limbs splayed out as if he fell over and just out. Who’s to say that wasn’t what happened?

For a few more days I let it all go, deciding that Lìxù knew his body better than anyone else. And truly, he did because a few days later he got better.

My faith in us grew ten-fold. Obviously the world was just teasing me. Obviously it wouldn’t dare destroy what we shared. After all of the uncertainty passed, I could easily swear that my heart was beating much, much faster for him and never again for anyone else.

and read…

The world is a liar. It’s a horrible, conniving liar.

I live in a world where good men are lost while bad men thrive. So many times in my life I have been the bad guy. I have spoken harshly to people I’m supposed to guide. I have taken for granted what has been given to me.

The worst part though…the absolute worst part has to be the way this twisted world taught me a lesson.

Often people won’t shed tears or even open their eyes until their loved ones are attacked. That’s exactly how I was brought down – back to this godforsaken earth.

I may have asked in the past, why I deserve such treatment, such a cold fate. But this isn’t about me. This is about the person who made me open my tear soaked eyes.

The words still ring through my head at all hours of the day. First, it was my own voice screaming over the ambulance, then it was the horns, and finally it was his sweet, fragile voice telling me “I don’t want to die yet. I don’t want to turn away yet.” All the while, blood garbled his words and stained his pale skin.

A true random act of kindness would have never brought me him. Yet a spoiled random act of kindness brought along its brother, a random act of violence.  

…until the final lines were permanently engraved into his mind.

The doctors tell me they removed the bullet. The police told me they can’t know for sure which gang fired the bullet. No one is capable of doing anything to soothe me.

My only confidante was trapped all alone. His eyes were closed, fingers cold, face as beautiful and porcelain as a doll. That sort of shallow beauty meant nothing if color couldn’t blossom on his lovely features, if those kind fingers couldn’t warm under my touch, or if those lovely pupils couldn’t bore into mine with sincerity.

I have no desire for an unreachable Lìxù.

So I’ll sit here, right here beside his hospital bed. I’ll hold that gentle hand and fill it with my body and soul’s warmth.

Maybe someday the inner heat will spark his slumbering heart.

Maybe someday I’ll feel his fingers tighten around mine.

Maybe someday I’ll be able to tell him that we can be together forever.

But for now, for now, I’ll just sit here quietly, keeping our electricity alive.

***

Mr. Cho walked into his classroom early Friday morning, expecting to have a few minutes of peace. Instead, he found Eunhyuk sitting in his usual place against a front row desk across from the teacher’s table. There was no book in his hand.

“And why are you here?” Mr. Cho prompted, setting his things down and turning to eye his silent student.

“A random act of kindness,” Eunhyuk sighed softly, gaze tilted up at the ceiling, “is more than just a random act of kindness. It isn’t about finding moral stability. It’s about living. You can’t live while hesitating about possible outcomes because the world will punish you whether you like it or not.”

“You finished it,” the teacher murmured calmly.

“Yeah…,” he lowered his head to see Mr. Cho watching him. “What happened between you and Lìxù? Did he survive?”

A sad little smile touched his lips. “As you said, the world punishes you whether you like it or not.” Mr. Cho circled around so he stood opposite Eunhyuk, the desk edge pressing against his lower back.

“What do you mean?” Eunhyuk slowly shook his head, eyes filled with refusal. “That’s not fair.”

“What isn’t fair, Eunhyuk?” he questioned.

“You guys were in love, right? Shouldn’t the world take that into consideration?” he snapped.

Mr. Cho sighed under his breath. “He just never woke up. I couldn’t do anything about it. He wouldn’t open his eyes.”

“But—”

“—his funeral is tomorrow,” the man interrupted quickly, eyes no longer on Eunhyuk, “his funeral…it’s tomorrow,” he repeated softer this time.

Eunhyuk swallowed his emotions, seeing what he was doing wrong. “…are you ready?” he finally asked.

The sound of unfolding paper filled the quiet. “Do you want to hear it?” Mr. Cho offered nearly inaudibly, the worn and wrinkled sheet trembling in his grip.

Eunhyuk nodded, watching his teacher take a slow breath and then speak.

Ryeowook,

I watched over you every day for the past two years. I kept hoping you would one day look down and see me sitting there, waiting for your awakening. You were supposed to see our connected hands and feel our connected hearts. I wanted to jump start what that bullet tore and scarred.

But I guess I couldn’t.

It’s okay though. I’ve had two years to prepare myself for this day. In the back of my mind I always dreaded this outcome. I prayed that they would take pity on me and let you stay, but they didn’t.

Although I’ve prepared, I know I’ll never be prepared to say goodbye to you.

You’re still the only one that makes my heart beat. When you’re in my mind, I can feel life thrumming through me. So…it’s okay that you’re not beside me anymore.

It’s okay—

He covered his mouth, tears spilling down his face. The letter spiraled to the ground as Eunhyuk pulled the shaking figure into a tight embrace.

“I can’t…I thought I could let go but I just can’t yet!” his voice broke with sobs, fingers curling into the fabric of the shirt. “I can’t hope that he’ll wake up anymore. I c-can’t wait for the day where I can tell him we’ll be together…again. He’s gone…he’s really…gone.”

Eunhyuk slid to the floor with the other male, the weight of his sobs dragging them both down. Carefully, Eunhyuk picked up the fallen letter, whispering in his teacher’s ear, “…’It’s okay. On our anniversary I’ll come to you with flowers and stories and love. On Christmas I’ll bring all the cards I received and read them to you. On New Year’s Day I’ll bring sparklers. On Valentine’s Day I’ll sing you your favorite songs. On your birthday I’ll bring you a dandelion so your spirit can blow it away with the wind. So everything will be okay. We’ll have our’,” Eunhyuk blinked away the tears his eyes, voice trembling as he finished reading over the sound of a heartbroken man’s muffled sobs, “…’forever. We’ll have our forever, just like I wanted and just like you wanted.’” The grip on his shirt tightened, “’Until then, Kyuhyun.’”