Jongin loves libraries.

He’s always loved to read, but the books aren’t the only thing that draws Jongin in. More than anything, it’s the atmosphere. People don’t come to libraries to socialize. No one looks up when Jongin walks in; everyone is too absorbed in their books and their laptops, and he manages to slip into the fantasy section without drawing attention to himself.

He doesn’t visit his university library often (too many people), but Baekhyun sent him here in search of some obscure fantasy novel that he said made him laugh harder than he has in years. Knowing Baekhyun, that’s probably an exaggeration, but Jongin always appreciates a good chuckle and is truly interested in reading the book himself. It probably wasn’t the poor author’s intention to be humorous, but sometimes, human portrayals of creatures they think of as mythical can be truly entertaining.

That’s the other thing. Jongin isn’t exactly human himself.

He’s not quite a god either, so demigod is probably the most appropriate term, but he’s directly descended from a god of beauty who wooed his human mother with powers similar, albeit much more powerful, than his own. He’s a part of his father’s world as well as this one, but Earth has always held a special place in his heart. It was where he grew up, and it holds many unique wonders that the other world just doesn’t.

Like libraries.

Baekhyun is technically his cousin since their godly parents are siblings. He’s like Jongin, only he grew up in the other world: the son of a human man and a goddess of lust. He too has an affinity for Earth, but Jongin’s very aware that Baekhyun’s reason for spending time in this realm is mainly to kick up trouble. He loves him like a brother just the same, and they rely on each other for the kind of friendship that humans can’t give them.

He finds the book with ease and takes it up to the counter to check out, ignoring the group of sorority girls who catch a glimpse of his face and immediately stop speaking in order to gape at him in shock. “Good morning,” he greets the boy behind the counter with a dazzling grin, failing to question why the boy was wearing such dark glasses indoors right away. The kid smiles back, and Jongin fondly observes that his lips are oddly heart-shaped.

“Hey. Checking out?”

“Yep,” Jongin hands the book over with his ID card, smile faltering the slightest bit when the boy takes the novel and scans it without fumbling once due to Jongin’s looks. It takes him another half of a second to realize that the guy is blind, and he’s suddenly a little shaken and a lot intrigued. He isn’t sure if he has any power over the blind. Jongin consciously makes himself more attractive, ignoring an onlooking girl who quite literally faints, watching the clerk for a reaction he doesn’t get. He does look worriedly in the direction of the girl at the sound of her body hitting the ground, and Jongin’s eyes widen with excitement as he realizes that he may have just met the first human who’s immune to his power.

“What’s your name?” Jongin asks, taking his book back from the human’s hands. “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before.”

“Probably not. I don’t get out much,” the boy says with a chuckle. “But it’s Kyungsoo.”

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin repeats, still beaming to himself. “I’m Jongin.”

“Nice to meet you Jongin,” Kyungsoo giggles, reopening the book in front of him and running his fingertips across the braille until he finds his place. “Let me know if you need help finding anything else, okay?”

“Will do,” Jongin smiles, exchanging goodbyes before heading for the door. He forgets to contain his power in his excitement, leaving two more swooning bodies in his wake.

—

“Whoa, I never thought of that,” Baekhyun says when Jongin tells his best friend about Kyungsoo over lunch later in the day. “Yeah, I guess you can’t control him, right? Since they have to see you to fall for you?”

“Right?” Jongin takes another sip of his soda. “I can’t even remember the last time a human spoke to me that coherently. It was almost refreshing.”

“Was he cute?” Baekhyun asks. “Your no-dating policy is void if you know for a fact he’s not just beguiled by your looks, right?”

“He was pretty cute as far as I could tell,” Jongin hesitantly admits, and Baekhyun’s face immediately splits into a grin. “Baek, no.”

“I could do it.”

“I know you could, but no.”

“A snap of my fingers and he’d be yours.”

“He’ll be mine to , you mean,” Jongin corrects. “And I have just as many people throwing themselves at my feet as you do. If I wanted , I’d have my pick.”

“Come on dude, is my specialty!” Baekhyun says, not bothering to censor their conversation despite the presence of the trembling, red-faced waitress setting their food in front of them and shakily refilling their drinks. Jongin always feels bad for their wait staff. Between his own spellbinding beauty and the crackling ual energy surrounding Baekhyun, they make a pretty deadly duo. They’ve made quite a few servers pass out, and Jongin clearly remembers Baekhyun ranting a little too heatedly one day and accidentally sending several bystanders into sudden . “I can make it fantastic, too.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jongin says, popping a french fry in his mouth. “I’d like to make friends with him first, though.”

“Aww, Jongin’s first human friend!” Baekhyun coos, and Jongin glares at him. “I’m proud of you, babe!”

“Like you have any human friends either. They can’t hop off of your long enough to get to know you.”

“A blessing and a curse,” Baekhyun sighs, smoky eyes flicking up to look at a passing waitress he’s been eyeing and making the poor girl promptly drop her tray full of dishes. “I try to use it for good and not evil.”

“Don’t eye people in public,” Jongin kicks him under the table. “I’m trying to eat.”

“But I do it so well,” Baekhyun smirks, turning his gaze on Jongin. Jongin feels Baekhyun’s power, he’s half human after all, but he’s not human enough to feel much more than annoyed by the lust tugging at his consciousness.

“Gross. We’re cousins, dude.”

“Oops, my bad,” Baekhyun says, and Jongin can feel his pull receding as he redirects his attention to the waitress now retreating into the kitchen as another server cleans up the mess. “Dammit.”

“Can you affect auals?” Jongin asks, thinking again of the blind boy behind the checkout counter of the library.

“Hm? Yeah, a little bit,” Baekhyun picks up his chopsticks. “It takes full power to make them want to sleep with me, though. Mom can change ualities; I can only bend them.”

“Do you think Kyungsoo would feel it if I went full power on him?” Jongin wonders aloud. “Even just my energy maybe?”

Baekhyun an eyebrow. “You might blind everybody else in the room, but yeah, he might feel it.”

Jongin doesn’t respond, chewing slowly as he thinks about what kind of person Kyungsoo might be. A book lover, which he automatically likes. He seemed friendly, too. It’s likely that he’s more experienced with romance than Jongin is (since Jongin’s experience = zero), which is a bit embarrassing, but he doesn’t think Kyungsoo would mock him for it. That’s a silly thing to think since he doesn’t actually know anything except the guy’s first name, but the very prospect of being able to form a relationship with a human who isn’t bewitched by his beauty is so enticing that he can’t care.

“Damn,” Baekhyun says as he watches Jongin’s spaced-out expression. “I hope this ‘love’ thing ain’t contagious.”

Jongin blushes and throws a french fry at him.

—

“Hey,” Jongin returns to the library the following day with a grin, hood pulled low over his face to avoid unwanted attention. Kyungsoo turns his head a little at the sound of his voice and smiles.

“Hey. Jongin, right?”

Jongin’s eyes widen, pleasantly surprised, and laughs lightly. “Whoa, you’re good. Kyungsoo, right?”

“That’s me,” Kyungsoo closes his book. “What can I help you with, Jongin?”

“I think I need some recommendations,” Jongin tries to peer over the counter. “What are you reading there?”

“Oh, this?” Kyungsoo’s fingertips dance over the title that Jongin can’t read. “It’s The Handmaid’s Tale. I’m reading it for class.”

“Really? I haven’t read that one,” Jongin lies, smiling to himself as he leans against the counter and studies Kyungsoo’s face. He’s really curious about the shape of his eyes, but the rest of his face is devastatingly handsome in a way he hasn’t seen before. He wears his bangs gelled up and off his forehead, and Jongin kind of wants to run his hands through his hair. “How is it?”

Thinking about what Baekhyun said, Jongin adjusts his hood a bit to avoid accidentally taking someone out before actively summoning his power from within, raising his beauty to an inhuman level that would have any normal person falling at his feet in a trance should they lay eyes on him.

“I really like it actually,” Kyungsoo smiles, turning his eyes back in the direction of the novel. “It’s set in this dystopian future where women don’t have any freedom anymore and their only purpose is to bear children. As far as required reading goes, it’s pretty interesting.”

“Yeah?” Jongin furrows his eyebrows, flexing his power to its full capacity and focusing all his energy on Kyungsoo. It rolls off of him in waves, and Jongin knows his eyes are probably starting to glow gold. “Who’s it by?”

“Margaret Atwood,” Kyungsoo replies, and his eyebrows draw together ever so slightly. “Hey, do you feel that?”

“Feel what?” Jongin beams, relaxing a bit now that he’s finally earned a reaction.

“Like a weird pressure… never mind; it’s probably just the heater doing weird stuff again.”

Jongin isn’t sure if he wants to take offense or to laugh. He’s just channeled all of his godly might into Kyungsoo’s tiny little body, and the library clerk thinks it might have just been the heater.

“Do you have another copy of the book somewhere?”

“Yeah sure,” Kyungsoo smiles, hopping off of his stool and rounding the counter. Jongin can see a white cane leaning against the printer table behind him, but Kyungsoo doesn’t take it with him. He must be familiar enough with this library not to need it. The guy waiting patiently behind him to check out goes glassy-eyed and immediately falls to his knees when Jongin turns around, and Jongin quickly makes himself look as human as possible.

“Easy buddy,” he says lightly, panicked eyes flicking up towards Kyungsoo who turns back in confusion as Jongin helps the guy up. “Go get some food. Blood sugar.”

“Why do people keep fainting every time you come here?” Kyungsoo jokes as he journeys into the shelves, and Jongin can’t manage much more than a nervous laugh.

Jongin follows him and watches the way Kyungsoo skirts his fingers over the plaques on each shelf, feeling the numbers there that lead him to his destination. Jongin notices the tiny raised bumps on the plaques for the first time, and wonders if all the libraries he’s been to have had the same kind of accessibility. Jongin loves a man who knows his Dewey Decimal System, and he finds himself smiling as he follows Kyungsoo down an aisle of crowded shelves. Jongin wonders if he’s counting as he walks, tapping the divide between each set of shelves in search of the correct one. “Right… here,” Kyungsoo says, pausing and pointing to a shelf on his left. Jongin looks where he points and grins to himself when he sees two copies of The Handmaid’s Tale shelved right where Kyungsoo knew they would be.

“Dude… I hope this doesn’t sound patronizing, but that’s really in’ cool.”

Kyungsoo laughs, turning back around to face Jongin. “You might be the first person I’ve met who thinks that having the entire shelving system memorized is cool.”

Jongin sees his own face reflected in Kyungsoo’s dark glasses: his true face, not the amorphous one that humans see, and thinks that there must be some sort of metaphor in that.

“Do you…” Jongin hesitates, suddenly very self-conscious about his personality having been, for all intents and purposes, stripped of his good looks. “Would you wanna maybe meet up sometime to talk about books and stuff? I know we just met and all that, but you seem like you’d make a good study partner.”

“I’d love that actually,” Kyungsoo smiles, and Jongin feels actual butterflies in his stomach. “I’ve got about two and a half friends and all they do is play video games and make noise.”

Jongin laughs, thinking of Baekhyun. “Yeah, I feel that.”

“Let me give you my number,” Kyungsoo says, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Text me your schedule and we can find a time that works.”

Jongin takes Kyungsoo’s phone and hands over his own, watching as Kyungsoo types his name and enters his number without fumbling once. He reads it off to Jongin to double check just in case, and Jongin resists the urge to cheer and clap when it matches. “Here you go,” Jongin hands Kyungsoo’s phone back and pockets his own. “You can call me, too. I don’t mind.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo chuckles. “Are you checking out the book?”

“Oh,” Jongin says, looking back at the shelf and supposing that he can’t exactly say no without exposing himself. “Yes please.”

Jongin takes a copy and follows Kyungsoo back to the checkout desk, fishing his student ID out of his pocket and handing it to Kyungsoo to scan. He notices as Kyungsoo types something into his computer that he has really nice hands as well, but it’s definitely too soon to voice that thought aloud. “Here you go,” Kyungsoo hands over the book with a smile. “Enjoy.”

“Thank you,” Jongin tucks the card back into his jeans. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“See ya,” Kyungsoo waves, settling back onto his stool. Jongin smiles to himself and turns his back, leaving the library with a subtle spring in his step once again.

—

When Kyungsoo calls him the following day, Jongin almost scares himself with the enthusiasm in his own voice as he picks up. Kyungsoo laughs it off and invites Jongin to meet him at the library following his shift to study together. Therefore, five o’clock that evening finds the demigod tucked into a comfy corner of the library more terrified than he’s ever been in his entire life.

He shouldn’t be afraid. He’s charming. …is he charming? The only person he regularly holds conversations with is Baekhyun, and he’s sure Baekhyun would tell him that he’s the biggest dork he’s ever known. He’s never had to charm a human with words before, and the fear of being boring is almost paralyzing.

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo says softly, and Jongin’s head immediately snaps up to where the elder stands.

“Hey!” he says, immediately cringing at the loudness of his own voice before bringing it down. “Hey, come sit.”

“You sound nervous,” Kyungsoo chuckles as he takes the armchair across from Jongin and props his cane against the wall.

“You snuck up on me,” Jongin tells him, wringing his hands in his lap as he looks at him. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been great,” Kyungsoo smiles, pulling his laptop out of his bookbag and opening it. “Weather’s getting cooler. I love it.”

“Me too. I was never a fan of the heat.” Jongin watches Kyungsoo plug in his headphones, leaving one out in order to hear Jongin.

“You said over text that you’re a dance major, right? How much homework do you have that can be done in a library?”

“I’m minoring in literature actually,” Jongin smiles. “But you’re right, most dance homework isn’t library-friendly.”

“I can tell you’re a good dancer,” Kyungsoo says, opening a thick textbook beside him. “You’re light on your feet. Sure-footed.”

“Thank you,” Jongin’s grin widens as he watches Kyungsoo’s fingers move over the page. “And what vocal major needs a textbook that thick?”

“One who’s been putting off filling his bio requirement since sophomore year,” Kyungsoo chuckles. “I’m definitely not a science guy.”

“Me neither,” Jongin empathizes, leaning back and crossing his legs. “We can be artsy together.”

“Sounds good,” Kyungsoo smilies to himself. “Sounds perfect.”

And so it begins.

Regular study dates in the library eventually find their way out into the park, the café, and after a month or two, their dorms. Jongin finds his first human friend since primary school in Do Kyungsoo, and by February, they’re inseparable.

Jongin loves how soft-spoken and polite Kyungsoo is. He hadn’t realized how much he was missing out on not having any introverted friends, and quiet nights sharing music and popcorn with Kyungsoo are such a welcome alternative to the wild parties to which Baekhyun always attempts to drag him along. Jongin cries the first time Kyungsoo sings for him and again when Kyungsoo first keeps him company in the practice room, listening intently to Jongin’s footsteps and piecing the routine together using his imagination. He also learns that Kyungsoo lost his sight in an accident when he was fifteen (and therefore knows what colors look like, to answer Jongin’s original question). Baekhyun pesters Jongin constantly to introduce them, insisting that he needs to size Kyungsoo up for himself, but Jongin denies him. He doesn’t want to risk letting Kyungsoo too close to his godly side too soon.

That’s not to say that there aren’t accidents. It’s easy to forget what he is around Kyungsoo, and he hopes that humans who have caught glimpses of his eyes shining gold simply write it off as figments of their imaginations. It’s easy to call one person crazy, but enough people seeing the same inhuman slip ups could potentially draw additional unwanted attention to himself. He doesn’t know if Kyungsoo can feel the stares on them when they’re in public, both awestruck by Jongin’s beauty and vaguely jealous of Kyungsoo by his side, but part of him doesn’t want to know. Part of him just wants to pretend.

Jongin does get to meet Kyungsoo’s human friends, however, and tries his absolute hardest to control his power when he does. He’s somewhat successful; none of them lose their coherency entirely, but they still blush and stammer as they introduce themselves as Chanyeol, Sehun, and Jongdae. Kyungsoo shares his dorm room with Sehun and gasps as Jongin describes his own luxury apartment to him in as much detail as he can, standing before Jongin’s vast windows as if he can see the city skyline beyond them. “Your parents must be crazy rich for you to afford this,” he jokes, and Jongin simply laughs, choosing not to tell him that he pays his bills the same way Baekhyun does: by hypnotizing his landlady to a point where she would probably pay him to live there should he ever decide to leave.

It’s late March when Jongin starts to realize that he might have a bit of a crush on Kyungsoo. For once, he’s the one blushing when Kyungsoo enters a room and stumbling over his words when the elder smiles at him with those heart-shaped lips of his. He’s stunning, an unconventional type of handsome, but even after all these months, there’s still one thing about Kyungsoo’s appearance eating away at Jongin’s curiosity to the point where he just can’t stand it anymore.

“Kyungsoo?” He finally asks over his laptop one day as he indulges in his favorite pastime of gazing stupidly at the elder’s face as he reads, and Kyungsoo slightly inclines his head in Jongin’s direction.

“Yeah?”

“What do your eyes look like?”

Kyungsoo looks a little caught off guard, fingers stalling over the words in his book.

“…blank. And empty. So I’m told.”

“Can… can I see them?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t respond right away, and Jongin fears that he may have crossed a line.

“…sure,” the elder finally says, and Jongin lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I don’t see why not.”

Kyungsoo sets his book down and lifts his hands to his sunglasses, hesitating for a second before removing them. Jongin’s holding his breath again, eyes trained on Kyungsoo’s face as he takes a deep breath and opens his, lifting them to look in the general direction of Jongin’s face.

“I hope they’re not as spooky as Sehun tells me they are.”

“Kyungsoo…” Jongin breathes. Kyungsoo has adorable doe-shaped eyes that make him look five years younger than he is, long lashes fluttering anxiously as he listens for Jongin’s reaction. Jongin can picture the chocolate brown they must have been before his accident, but now his irises are a cloudy bluish-grey, pupils nowhere in sight. Jongin doesn’t think they’re spooky at all, and it makes him a little sad knowing that Kyungsoo’s believed that all these years. “I think they’re beautiful.”

“You don’t have to lie,” Kyungsoo chuckles, moving to put his glasses back on, but Jongin stops him.

“Leave them off for a while?”

It’s a request, not a demand, and Kyungsoo nods after a second, a happy smile playing on his lips.

“Okay.” The elder’s fingertips rest over his book once again, but they don’t move. “…What do you look like, Jongin?”

“Me?” Jongin says, chuckling softly at a private joke. No one but Jongin and the gods themselves know what he truly looks like. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and he looks different to each human depending on their tastes. “Depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking you,” Kyungsoo smiles.

“I’m okay I guess,” Jongin lies, still working to commit Kyungsoo’s eyes to memory. “Nothing too special.”

“Don’t lie, Jongin,” Kyungsoo immediately calls him out, and Jongin’s breath hitches. “I know you’re gorgeous.”

Jongin grits his teeth, leaning back in his chair. “Did Sehun tell you?”

Kyungsoo laughs at that, but Jongin isn’t completely joking. “Yeah, he did. He wouldn’t shut up about it for a while. He says you look like you’re half French or something.”

Jongin doesn’t look like he’s half French at all, but if that’s what Sehun’s into, Jongin can’t help what he sees. “But I knew you were handsome before he told me,” Kyungsoo adds, and Jongin glances up.

“How?”

“I’m blind, not clueless,” Kyungsoo tells him with a smile. “People always drop stuff around you. Their breathing gets faster. They stop walking, or they trip. Our waiters and waitresses always stammer and giggle when they ask for our orders. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were some kind of god.”

Jongin’s eyes flash gold, and he quickly looks down at his lap.

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” he chuckles half-heartedly. If he told a sighted human the truth of his nature, they would believe him in an instant if he were to flex his power. With Kyungsoo, he has no way of proving his words, and any sane man would go running in the other direction if Jongin seriously tried to convince him that he was half god. It hurts a little knowing that even with the one human in his life who is unswayed by his beauty, he still can’t be himself.

“Then be honest,” Kyungsoo smiles at him, pale eyes gazing not quite at his face, but close enough to make Jongin nervous under the scrutiny. “Or I’ll tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“What you look like.” Kyungsoo rests his elbows on the table and turns his hands palms-up. “If you don’t mind me touching.”

“Oh,” Jongin says. Can blind people really do that? “Yeah, sure.”

Jongin leans forward and gently moves Kyungsoo’s hands to cradle his face, praying that the elder wouldn’t be able to feel the subtle heat of his blush. Kyungsoo doesn’t seem bothered by what, in Jongin’s opinion, is a rather intimate position, and wordlessly goes about feeling the planes of Jongin’s face with his thumbs.

“Your skin is soft,” Kyungsoo says quietly, eyes now gazing unseeingly at Jongin’s chin. “You must take good care of it.”

“Yeah,” Jongin breathes.

Several silent minutes go by as Kyungsoo slowly feels every feature of Jongin’s face, and Jongin eventually finds himself relaxing under the touch. Pretty fingers trace his jawline, his lips, upper then lower, his nose, his eyebrows. Kyungsoo’s very careful as he traces the shape of Jongin’s eyes, taking great care not to accidentally poke him. Fingers run through his hair, brush over his throat; palms dance across the incline of his shoulders. Jongin can’t remember the last time he was touched like this. It must have been years ago, back before Jongin grew tired of ing stranger after stranger with the lights on every time. Kyungsoo’s hands are warm. It feels nice.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo finally whispers, cradling Jongin’s chin with one hand as he thinks. “I was right; you are handsome.”

Jongin smiles and watches Kyungsoo’s face, waiting for him to continue.

“You’ve got thick eyebrows. They get thicker near the ends. But they’re not too thick; they’re probably not your focal point. And your eyes… you’ve got really cute eyes. They’re angled inward a little bit. Like the outer corners are a little higher up than the inner corners. Your eyelids are nice and deep too. They’re definitely Korean, though. I don’t know what Sehun was talking about. Your nose is super straight and defined. Your upper lip’s got like a rounded cupid’s bow, but it’s just as full as your lower lip. You must be a good kisser,” Kyungsoo giggles. “Your cheekbones are nice too, but I think your selling point is your jawline. Your jawline is really sharp. And your shoulders are broad. You’ve bleached your hair in the past, but it’s dark again now. It’s still recovering. I don’t know about your smile; I’m not gonna shove my fingers in your mouth, but it’s probably gorgeous, too. And your skin… judging by the amount of time you spend outdoors, I’m guessing melted caramel.” Kyungsoo smiles. “Am I close?”

Jongin stares at him in shock, a tear slipping from his left eye before he can stop it.

He’s right.

He’s right, with not a single feature smudged.

Does this mean that Kyungsoo is feeling his face as it truly is? Do his features not shift in accordance with Kyungsoo’s ideal type? Is it merely a coincidence? It’s too accurate to be a coincidence. Jongin knows Kyungsoo’s waiting for a response, but he can’t quite find his voice. Kyungsoo’s smile falters, eyebrows drawing together.

“Jongin? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Jongin eventually says. “Yeah, I’m just surprised. You’re spot-on.”

Kyungsoo smiles for real, and Jongin’s heart clenches in his chest seeing the way his eyes scrunch up. “Really? No mistakes?”

“No mistakes,” Jongin giggles, repressing the disturbing fluttering feeling deep in his stomach. “Consider me impressed.”

Jongin realizes then that he’s facing more than a casual crush.

—

“I have to tell him.”

Baekhyun lazily glances up from selecting his video game character to where Jongin lies dramatically across his bed.

“Tell him what? That you want to have his children?”

“That I’m a god.”

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows and gives him his full attention. “Are you serious?”

“I feel like I’m lying to him,” Jongin laments, staring up at the ceiling. “I am lying to him; I’m living a lie he doesn’t even know somebody can lie about.”

“Dude, he’d think you were ing insane if you seriously tried to tell him that.”

“Not if I proved it.”

“How would you prove it?”

“You…?”

Baekhyun drops his controller and turns to Jongin with a blinding grin. “Are you serious? You’ll let me seduce him for you?”

“No,” Jongin quickly amends, sitting up a little. “Hell no. Just… do your thing enough for him to realize that I’m not lying about it maybe? I’d ask Junmyeon or somebody to help too but I don’t want to get the whole family involved…”

“You realize he might run away screaming even if he does believe you, right?”

Jongin sighs, covering his face with both hands. Why does this have to be so freaking difficult? He can feel himself falling for Kyungsoo, but he feels like a fraud developing a relationship with this man when Kyungsoo doesn’t even know that they’re not the same species. “It doesn’t matter,” he tells Baekhyun. “I’d rather him hate me for who I am than love me for who I’m not.”

“Whoa,” Baekhyun blinks. “That’s in’ deep.”

Jongin groans. “I should call Yixing. He’s way better at advice than you.”

“Excuse you,” Baekhyun fakes offense as he looks back at his video game. “I give excellent advice. Just not about love. Call me when you want to know the fastest way to make him .”

Jongin blushes, but his curiosity piques anyways. “…you know the fastest way to make him ?”

“It’d be real easy to find out.”

“No. No I don’t want to know,” Jongin childishly covers his ears, and Baekhyun laughs to himself.

“Whatever. I’ve got a appointment in like two hours so you’ll be free to peacefully wallow in your angst soon.”

“When don’t you have a appointment,” Jongin grumbles.

“I mean, yesterday all I had were appointments, so—”

“Dude,” Jongin whines, pressing a pillow over his face. “Stop being a long enough to acknowledge my pain.”

“Acknowledged, acknowledged,” Baekhyun says in surrender. “Okay, real talk. I agree that you should tell him. If I ever fall in love someday, I would tell them too. And I don’t really want to watch you be miserable forever so let me know what I can do to help, okay?”

Jongin sighs and nods. “Thank you, Baek.”

“You’re so soft,” Baekhyun teases, narrowly dodging the foot that Jongin throws his way.

“Shut up.”

—

Jongin thinks long and hard about how to tell Kyungsoo the truth of his nature. It’s almost May by the time he’s worked up the nerve, and he feels as if he’s arranging his own funeral as he texts Kyungsoo to tell him that his cousin Baekhyun is in town and that he’d like to meet him over dinner. Kyungsoo’s happy to agree, of course he is, and Jongin desperately clings to each happy moment with his best friend before they’re inevitably ended by his upcoming confession.

“I can’t do this,” Jongin says as he paces his apartment, breathing shallowly and running another hand through his already-ruined hair. “I can’t do this.”

“Breathe,” says Baekhyun, who’s not smirking for once as he watches Jongin teeter on the edge of a real nervous breakdown. “The longer you wait to tell him the more upset he’ll be. You have to do this.”

“I know I have to do this, but I can’t do this. What if he just thinks I’m crazy?”

“That’s why I’m here. It’ll be fine. Try to calm down; your energy is suffocating me.”

“Dammit, why does it have to be like this?” Jongin says, fresh tears threatening to spill from his already-swollen eyes. “Why can’t I just be human and have friends and not have to lie to them about what species I am?”

“Don’t cry again; it shows in your voice,” Baekhyun warns. “Everything will be fine, Jongin. If he really cares about you, he’ll accept you for who you are.”

“Accepting me for who I am would be if I told him that my secret passion was otter breeding, not oh hey, by the way, I’m not a human!”

“Nini, try to calm down, he’s—”

A knock on the door interrupts his sentence, and Jongin freezes immediately, eyes going wide. “It’s okay,” Baekhyun says again, gently flexing his power in Jongin’s direction to distract him from his nerves, if nothing else. “You’ve got this. Get the door.”

Jongin feels the subtle tug of lust creeping into the back of his mind and is grateful for the diversion, trying to focus on that instead of the crippling fear threatening to take over his senses. “Thanks,” he mumbles, nervously fixing his hair despite the fact that Kyungsoo can’t see it either way. He stands behind the door for another long moment, summoning every ounce of cheerfulness left in him, before turning the lock and pulling the door open.

“Hey,” he says breathlessly, and Kyungsoo immediately smiles up at him.

“Hey yourself.”

“Come on in,” Jongin steps aside, glancing at Baekhyun where he stands. “Kyungsoo, this is my cousin Baekhyun. Baekhyun, this is my friend Kyungsoo.”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo greets happily, extending a hand for Baekhyun to shake. “I’ve been waiting for a chance to meet some of Jongin’s family. He says they’re always out of town.”

“Yeah, we do kinda live all over the place,” Baekhyun laughs, shaking it firmly. “Likewise. Jonginnie’s a bit of a loner, so it’s great that he’s met you.”

Jongin looks like he might faint. It’s a good thing Kyungsoo can’t tell.

Dinner goes rather smoothly, Baekhyun’s natural chattiness making up for Jongin’s relative silence as Baekhyun gets to know his best friend’s new love interest, cracking more jokes than usual in an attempt to lift some of the tension from Jongin’s shoulders. The eldest is clearing dishes from the table and stacking them in Jongin’s sink when Jongin takes a deep breath and finally turns to Kyungsoo to say what he’s been preparing all week to say.

“Kyungsoo?”

“Hm?”

“What do you know about… demigods?”

“Demigods?” Kyungsoo asks, and Baekhyun glances at them out of the corner of his eye as he busies himself washing a plate. “They’re like half-human, half-god, right?”

“Right. Yeah, exactly,” Jongin fidgets. “Um… and they kind of… inherit some of their godly parent’s power. Like the son of a god of medicine might have the ability to heal minor injuries, or the daughter of a god of music might be extremely gifted with instruments. You know?”

“Uh huh,” Kyungsoo nods slowly, waiting to see what Jongin is getting at.

“And some of them live among humans. In secret. They don’t look any different from humans… for the most part. They live normal lives. Unless they were to tell you what they are, you might never know.”

“Right,” says Kyungsoo, chuckling a little. “What, are you about to tell me that you’re a demigod or something?”

He’s joking. Jongin doesn’t laugh.

“...Yes,” Jongin says after several long moments of tense silence. “I am.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows raise above the rim of his sunglasses, pretty lips curling into a smile.

“Oh really? Demigod of what?”

“Kyungsoo I’m serious,” Jongin says without a hint of mirth in his voice, and Kyungsoo’s smile falters a bit. “I’m a demigod. A demigod of beauty. You’re not influenced by my power because you can’t see.”

Kyungsoo chuckles again after a moment, this time with less humor. “Jongin, be real.”

“Baekhyun is too. That’s the real reason he’s here. I can’t prove it, but he can. His mom is a goddess of lust.”

“Haven’t you been wondering why you’ve been lowkey since you got here?” Baekhyun asks, walking over to stand beside Kyungsoo’s chair. “Sorry. I can’t really control it.”

Baekhyun rests a hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and Jongin watches him gasp and turn red, squirming away from the touch as white-hot desire ricochets through his system. “And stop,” Baekhyun says quietly, withdrawing his hand. Kyungsoo pants for a second, obviously shaken, before Baekhyun brushes his fingers against Kyungsoo’s cheek. “And go.”

“Stop,” Jongin says softly after another second, imagining the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes as he tries to wrap his head around this. He has his proof now. Baekhyun immediately withdraws his fingers and Kyungsoo stands up, gripping the edge of the table for support. “Kyungsoo…”

Jongin stands up as well, not daring to touch Kyungsoo out of fear that he’ll jerk away. “Kyungsoo, think about it. You said so yourself. People lose coherency when they talk to me. They trip over their feet. They faint if I’m not careful. You know I’m not lying.” Tears trickle helplessly over the brims of Jongin’s eyes. “I’m not human, Kyungsoo. But I’m still Jongin. I’m still the Jongin you sing for, the Jongin you read to, the Jongin you tease for crying while watching Say Yes to the Dress. Nothing I’ve said to you has been a lie. I just… I don’t want to keep secrets from you. I lo—”

Jongin shuts his mouth before he completes the thought, but Baekhyun’s eyes go wide when he realizes what Jongin was about to say.

“Jongin, this is ing crazy,” Kyungsoo says, removing his glasses and letting Jongin look him straight in the eyes. “A demigod? You really expect me to believe that?”

“Kyungsoo, please just think about it!” Jongin begs, grabbing Kyungsoo’s hand. “It fits! You know it fits! And Baekhyun just proved it to you!”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and pulls his hand away, running both hands through his hair. “I… I need to go.”

Jongin’s heart shatters. “Kyungsoo, please…”

“I just need… to think.” Kyungsoo fumbles uncharacteristically for his cane, grabbing his glasses off the table before heading for the door.

“Kyungsoo…” Jongin softly begs one more time, wiping his tears. Kyungsoo pauses with his hand in the doorknob.

“I believe you,” he says in a trembling voice before opening the door and closing it behind him with a deafening click.

—

Kyungsoo doesn’t call him for five days.

Baekhyun gets so worried that he goes three days straight without , choosing instead to linger around Jongin’s apartment in order to keep him company and convince him to eat. Jongin feels like he’s ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Even if he does meet another blind human someday, he knows that the chances of getting along with them as well as he gets along with Kyungsoo are slim to none. He’s ruined his first and possibly only chance at romance just by being what he is.

“Next flight out of Changsha is tonight at nine,” Yixing tells Baekhyun over the phone, fingers distantly tapping away at keys. “I can see if they’ve got seats left if you think I can help.”

“I don’t even know if you can,” Baekhyun sighs, stirring Jongin’s ramen on the stove. “You can’t heal broken hearts, can you?”

“Not really… I can relieve depression a bit? Though broken hearts run a little deeper than that…”

“Do you think Minseok could help? I’d’ve called him already but he’s not on Earth and the last thing Jongin needs is for me to atomize on him to go find him…”

“I think… Jongin just needs to be human right now,” Yixing’s voice floats through the filter. “I mean, I think he just needs to process his feelings the mundane way. It’s good for him right now, considering the circumstances. You know?”

Baekhyun sets his chopsticks down and grits his teeth with frustration. “He’s barely been out of bed, Xing. I just got him to take his first shower in four days last night. Now you know I’ve always been more concerned with getting my wet than I am with all this lovey-dovey but that’s my best friend in there and even I can tell he’s fallen hard for that Kyungsoo kid and I want to help him, dammit!”

“Baekhyun, we—”

A knock at the door distracts Baekhyun from the rest of Yixing’s sentence, and he sighs as he walks over to it. “Wait, hold on Xing.”

Too upset to bother checking the peephole, Baekhyun yanks the door open and freezes when he sees Kyungsoo standing on the other side, usual sunglasses nowhere in sight as he tightly grips the handle of his cane. “Baekhyun,” the blind man breathes, swallowing hard in the face of Baekhyun’s barely-restrained godly energy. “I-Is Jongin here?”

“Y-yes,” Baekhyun blinks, reeling in the power he’s been neglecting to control over the past few days. “Yixing, I’ll call you back.”

Baekhyun steps aside and allows Kyungsoo entry before softly clicking the door shut behind him. “I’ll go get him.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t move as Baekhyun’s soft footsteps retreat, light eyes staring unseeingly at the place where he knows the glass wall of Jongin’s penthouse is. He can almost make out the light from it without his glasses: a soft golden glow that makes his chest tighten with the desire to see the afternoon sky as his friends do: vast and clear and free. The footsteps that return from Jongin’s room aren’t Baekhyun’s, and Kyungsoo anxiously turns in the younger’s direction.

“Jongin…”

Kyungsoo can’t see the dark circles under Jongin’s swollen eyes or the slightly sickly color of his complexion, but he can taste his pain in the pregnant pause that follows. “You came back,” Jongin finally says, voice smaller than it usually is, and Kyungsoo’s heart clenches.

“I’m sorry,” he says, trying his best to look Jongin in the eyes. “It was a lot to process.”

“Did you tell anybody?”

“No,” Kyungsoo smiles softly. “Who would believe me?”

“Come sit,” Jongin lowers himself onto the sofa, and Kyungsoo settles onto the seat beside him. “You… don’t think I’m crazy?”

“No,” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Everything you said made sense when I thought about it. And Baekhyun… whatever he did wasn’t human.”

“Why aren’t you running away?” Jongin wants to know.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know the answer either.

“I… want to know everything,” Kyungsoo tells him. “About you. I want to understand you. The real you. You’re like my best friend, Jongin. I don’t want to push you away anymore.”

Jongin’s cheeks are damp again, but this time, not from despair.

“Where do you want me to start?”

Jongin tells Kyungsoo about his childhood, his father, his experiences growing up with inhuman beauty. He tells him about the other realm, the one where the gods and many of their children live, and all the reasons why he chooses to reside among humans despite the fact that until meeting Kyungsoo, he’s never been able to connect with one. Can I visit someday? Kyungsoo wants to know, and Jongin laughs softly. I’ll check and see if there’s a bus line that runs between dimensions.

He tells him more about Baekhyun, tells him about Yixing who can heal, tells him about Minseok whose otherworldly skills are in all matters of emotion. Kyungsoo listens attentively, unseeing eyes fixed on the younger’s face as Jongin bares his soul for the first time, not sparing Kyungsoo a single detail. When he’s finally finished Jongin half-expects Kyungsoo to leave, to suddenly remember that he had a doctor’s appointment, that he left the stove on, that he forgot to feed the cat.

He doesn’t.

“Why…?” Jongin breathes after a few beats of silence, an abbreviated form of a question he hadn’t asked out loud. Kyungsoo understands anyway.

It’s a strange moment between them. There’s an unfamiliar emotion twisting in Jongin’s chest, and he’s never felt this human before in his life. Kyungsoo’s expression is unfamiliar as well. His features are tight as he struggles to open his mind past the mundane and absorb Jongin’s words and existence as truth, still not entirely prepared to face the ultimate reality of the universe while one of Jongin’s neighbors is listening to “Gasolina” on full blast. “Because,” he shakily manages to answer, a response as lame as Jongin’s question.

“...oh.”

And then Kyungsoo is kissing him.

Jongin’s barely gotten the syllable out before Kyungsoo’s hand is cradling his jaw, turning his head and covering Jongin’s lips with his own as a terrifyingly powerful jolt of pure electricity shoots through every last nerve in Jongin’s body. A sound of shock escapes his throat and he tries to pull away in an acute burst of panic, but Kyungsoo’s soft hand is on the back of his neck now holding him in place. He’s grateful because in the second that follows the panic is replaced with a thrilling sense of euphoria, and he melts into the touch he didn’t know he was longing for, lips responding at last and reciprocating the sweet, lingering kiss. Kyungsoo’s cheeks are pink when it finally ends, only pulling back a few inches, and Jongin’s almost entirely certain that he’s as red as a beet as he stares at him with wide eyes.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo chuckles softly, not looking sorry in the slightest. “I… I couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s… okay.” Jongin hears himself say, heart pounding and mind reeling. Did that just happen? “I-I mean, I… I liked it.”

“I don’t know how you feel,” Kyungsoo continues nervously, trying to cover his tracks a bit, either oblivious to or ignoring the way Jongin is fighting hard not to flip his . “About me or about guys. But I…”

“Me too,” Jongin blurts. Kyungsoo blinks. “Me too. I…” Love you? “...I like you too, Kyungsoo.”

He gets the words out with a trembling voice and a smile on his face that Kyungsoo can hear. It feels like it’s happening incredibly fast, too suddenly, but he knows deep down that the truth is that this is long overdue, and when he kisses him again, it’s different this time. Jongin’s lips are a bit uncertain at first, a bit nervous and rusty from not having kissed anyone in years, but this time, his mind isn’t frozen with shock.

This is the difference he’s been yearning for.

This is how it feels to kiss someone you care about who has feelings for you in return. Kyungsoo’s fingers brush the soft hairs at the nape of his neck, and Jongin hears himself whimper like that little action was too much for him to handle. This is nothing, absolutely nothing like the he’d had with those shallowly bewitched by his beauty as an adolescent. The kiss is pure, chaste, and yet it brings Jongin a sort of satisfaction he thought unimaginable. His previously-repressed feelings for Kyungsoo add an entirely new dimension to the pleasure, and it’s maddening how he can’t get enough of it.

“W-whoa,” Kyungsoo laughs breathlessly, pulling back and resting a hand on Jongin’s shoulder when he starts getting a bit too eager, mistaking Jongin’s starvation for emotional intimacy as ual libido. “Baekhyun, remember?”

Jongin whines, half in Kyungsoo’s lap and tempted to scoff at the notion that Baekhyun would even bat an eye catching them like this, but he settles for snuggling into Kyungsoo’s shoulder instead, unusually clingy after receiving his first taste of his best friend’s lips. “Sorry… I… really needed that.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” Kyungsoo whispers as he holds him, the waves of happiness and relief rolling off of him similar to Jongin’s. “It must have been so hard… I promise I’ll do everything I can to support you from now on, Nini… you’ll never be alone again.”

“Love is patient; love is blind,” Jongin smiles against Kyungsoo’s skin, something changing deep inside his heart as he finally stops fighting and lets himself fall for the first time, thick walls coming down with him. “You were well worth the wait.”