Moist windows and the tiny droplets of snow are already evident. The temperature is going down and Luhan can feel it from his apartment. The place feels stiff since he just transferred yesterday. Tons of boxes are still on the floor left unpacked. He looked at himself in the mirror and examined how he looked. He sighed and got a hold of his scarf and coat. 

 

He spent his time familliarizing himself. He thought that the place is good for a new start. Luhan's parents didn't want him to stay away from them but he insisted. He is old enough to handle himself. Although, life as a writer is really hard. It takes time to publish a book. It takes effort to really earn. 

 

He stopped by a coffee shop that he saw along the street. He checked first the interior and proceeded inside. He can work here, he thought.

 

"I'd have some... cappucino?" He took a 3,000 won from his wallet and gave it to the cashier.

 

He noticed that the barista has utterly beautiful eyes. Luhan looked at him again and he was deeply mesmerized by his beauty. He smirked since he knew that he liked the guy. Another reason for him to come here again.

 

"May I have your name sir?" The cashier asked. 

 

"Luhan."

 

The barista seemed bothered and checked on Luhan. They stared at each other for so long that the cashier had already called Luhan's attention.

 

"Luhan?" the stunning barista asked.

 

"Can I have my coffee?" 

 

"Here."

 

"Thank you, Minseok."

 

"You remember me?" 

 

"It's on your name tag." 

 

He doesn't remember me, Minseok had assumed. He also thinks that Luhan pretends to not remember him. The memories of them together were not that good though. 

 

Minseok remained puzzled. Luhan was so ignorant for treating him like that to the point that he pretended not to know Minseok. The thought has been in his mind for hours.  He takes a look at Luhan from time to time but Luhan remains unbothered. It has been 5 years since they last met. Minseok had no contact of Luhan since then. It brought back memories and Minseok couldn't avoid to shed a tear. His co workers had asked if he was okay. He clearly wasn't. Seeing Luhan had made a big impact on him. 

 

Luhan was in the middle of thinking. Thinking of what could be a good plot. After a few minutes, he thought of the barista. He scribbled a few words on his notebook as an outline but he still couldn't grasp what he wants to write about that barista. Still, the story will revolve around him. Minseok suddenly became Luhan's inspiration. He became his piece of work. 

 

Minseok didn't have enough sleep after that day. He was still looking for answers on why Luhan is looking totally different. He was asking himself questions he couldn't answer. He couldn't reciprocate how much Luhan had changed. Although he is not feeling good, he had to go to work and make a living. He went up and did what he have to. 

 

Luhan, on the other hand, called his publisher for updates regarding his new book. He already had the characters and setting but he needs more. After arranging his stuff and throwing out the used boxes, he took a shower and went to the coffee shop. 

 

This time, Minseok was the one to take his order. Minseok knew what Luhan's favorite coffee is. It was Americano. The same with him. 

 

"One Americano?" Minseok wished he would have guessed it right.

 

"I'll have Cappucino please." Luhan muttered instead.

 

Minseok was becoming more curious. That was indeed Luhan since he took his name and it was actually Luhan. He asked for an hour break from his manager and went to approach Luhan.

 

"Excuse me?" Minseok politely asked.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Do you really not remember me?" Minseok was shaking on fear that Luhan might answer no.

 

"No. I don't."

 

Minseok felt angry and sad. Actually, he doesn’t know what he is feeling.

 

"Don't play dumb, Lu. Stop pretending you don't know me." Minseok had this rough and cd voice. He was clearly pissed at Luhan.

 

"I'm sorry. I have amnesia. I had accident 3 years ago. I'm sorry if I couldn't recognize you. Who are you?" 

 

Everything made sense. 

 

"Y-You have what?"

 

"Amnesia."

 

"L-Lu.."

 

"Were we close? Ah, that's why it felt familiar. Were we friends or classmates?" Luhan was excited to know about him, while Minseok is completely dazed trying to process everything. 

 

"We were together."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"We liked- actually.. we loved each other."

 

"Did we? Oh, no one has told me about this. Why did we break up though?" Luhan was also confused but he is trying to understand Minseok slowly. 

 

"You don't have to know."

 

"No, why?"

 

"I said you don't have to know, Luhan." Minseok bargeed outside the coffee shop. Memories were flooding him. Memories that are filled with happiness and at the same time sadness. 

 

Luhan followed him outside.

 

"Were you the reason I stopped painting?"

 

Minseok looked at him with melancholy in his eyes.

 

"My best friend.... Baekhyun. He told me I stopped painting because of someone. He told me I was originally a painter and not a writer. I want to know the answers."

 

"You will get hurt."

 

"Minseok, please."

 

They walked together under the rain with a hand in Minseok's hand. They were off to Minseok's house.

 

"I still have your paintings in my garage." Minseok said. 

 

"You had an art exhibit. It was your first one. You didn't tell me because you were planning to surprise me. You planned to tell it to me after the exhibit. You planned to make me go at that place on a midnight." Minseok continued.

 

"But you were the one surprised. You saw me at the exhibit with somebody else. I was with Jongdae. I was a jerk for knowing that he was your biggest competitor and still I went out with him." 

 

"I saw how angry you were. I saw your rage. I also saw how shocked you were. We were going strong for more than 4 years yet I blew it all up for one mistake. I had a thing for painters but I belittled your ability to be part of an exhibit. I thought you wouldn't be there."

 

"You just told me to leave and never come back. I respected your decision. I was hurt. I really loved you." 

 

Luhan was still dumbfounded. This was the part missing in his life of puzzle. No one told him about this important event in his life maybe because the people around him thought that it would be better for him to not know about it. 

 

Minseok took a piece of painting inside the closet. He blew the dust away. It was a painting of him. It was Minseok in different shades of red.

 

"You gave me this as a birthday present. I loved it. You told me how red means love and how you loved me in different shades and ways. I really appreciated it. You can have it if you want."

 

Luhan touched the small details of the painting he made. It was full of life and love. He took a look at his signature. He glanced at the beautiful work he has done. 

 

"This one was the last painting you made. It was weeks after we broke up. I received it through a package. It was a picture of two persona that are leavig one another. It was in the shade of black. I left Seoul because I was also deeply hurt." 

 

"Lu, you were my greatest love. I had to leave Seoul and come here just to get over the fact that we can not be together again."

 

"Now, I saw you again when everything was already good. You looked better. How have you been?" Minseok tried to touch Luhan's hand but he was not comfortable so he pushed it away. 

 

"I'm fine." 

 

"You might be uncomfortable with me since I'm a stranger to you. Trust me, I knew you better than anyone else." Minseok chuckled and he saw how Luhan blushed. 

 

Minseok brought coffee for Luhan. This time, it's not cappucino but rather americano, his original favorite. 

 

"You loved americano." Minseok added a bit of cream to the coffee just how Luhan liked it in the past.

 

"I did?" 

 

"Yes. You loved how I make your coffee. You had a thing for art. You loved painting. You loved writing poems, stories and songs." 

 

"I was aware of that." 

 

"Luhan, may I ask you something?"

 

"Okay..."

 

"How did you end up having amnesia?"

 

"I was on my way to buy groceries but there was a drunk driver speeding up and eventually led me crashing to his car."

 

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to buy groceries with you. We used to--"

 

"Please stop."

 

"Why?" Minseok was flustered.

 

"We shouldn't talk much about the past. I'm all good now. Anyway, thank you for the coffee. I should be going." Luhan went out as soon as possible. Staying there with an unknown person was chaotic for him. He had this need to check if Minseok was really a part of his past.

 

"Baekhyun, can we meet?" 

 

"Now? Where? Let me first get my keys."

 

"My new apartment? I'll text you the address. Stay here for the night. I just want to ask a few things."

 

"Okay. I'll be there in an hour. See you."

 

He ended the call and took a deep breath. There was something in him that wants everything that Minseok said to be not true. He couldn't believe that he had loved someone like that. He couldn't understand how he was capable of giving his whole life to that person. 

 

"It took you less than an hour, Baek. No traffic?"

 

"Luckily! What's up? How are you here? How about your health? Did you go to your doctor already?" 

 

"Not yet. I'll try maybe tomorrow morning."

 

Luhan prepared midnight snacks for the both of them. He opened about Minseok after a few seconds. 

 

"Do you know anyone named Minseok?" 

 

Baekhyun almost dropped his bottle of soda when he heard the name. He remembered how hard it was for him to control Luhan after they broke up. He remembered how hard it was for Luhan to move on. 

 

"Baekhyun, please tell me everything."

 

"It wouldn't be good for you to know."

 

"Baekhyun, please..."

 

"Minseok was your first and greatest love. You met each other in a coffee shop where you paint almost everyday. The coffee shop was near your parents' house where you used to live." Baekhyun muttered with a heavy heart.

 

"He noticed that you were painting a picture of him. Minseok ended up buying it. You loved the way he makes your coffee."

 

"It did not take long for you both to fall for each other."

 

"He loved you. You loved him. The love was too great but eventually it faded after years." 

 

"Minseok cheated on you. What hurts more is that he cheated on Jongdae. Jongdae was you rival for a long time in many aspects. Going back, you asked Minseok to leave."

 

"You were both so broken. You wanted to get back with him but I didn't want you to chase someone who don't deserve you."

 

"So, I really loved him that much..."

 

"More than you could ever imagi-" 

 

"Luhan!" Baekhyun wasnmt able to finish his sentence because Luhan fell down with his hand on his head.

 

"My head hurts! Get the... Get painkillers!" Luhan shouted still in pain.

 

"Where?" Baekhyun is in panic. He doesn't know what to do.

 

"There... Beside you! Hurry!"

 

Luhan immediately took some pills and gorged a drink of water. Baekhyun insisted to take him to the hospital. Luhan was screaming in pain. 

 

"It seems that you have a fever. 38.5 celcius is a bit high. We'll take some tests and I'll be right back." The nurse told them. 

 

"You should take a rest. I'll contact your parents." Baekhyun offered. Luhan nodded in silence and proceeded to sleep off the pain. 

 

Random moments are flashing in his mind. It was so random but there was someone particular that he had seen. It was Minseok.

 

"I remembered a few things, Baek." Minseok said.

 

"Really?"

 

"I can remember out first anniversary. We went to a beach and spent the night there." 

 

"What else?"

 

"My birthday. He gave me a watch and a set of brushes as a gift. I loved it so much that I cried in front of him. I remembered those two events in my life. Maybe those were too memorable that I was able to recall it first." 

 

"I agree. Still, getting back together is not right. Don't let him take your amnesia as an excuse. You may remember Minseok but your mind shows you all the positive events you had with him. What if you remember the pain you went through?"

 

"Come on, Baek. I wasn't planning on going back to him. I just love his coffee."

 

"Exactly!! That's how everything started between you two. Noted that it happened two times. I can't believe that coffee keeps you two together." 

 

Luhan's parents came. Baekhyun told them about how Luhan can remember a bit of his memories. The doctor said that he will stay in the hospital for a week just make sure there are no problems. 

 

"What are we going to tell Luhan?" Baekhyun asked.

 

"Of course, the truth." Luhan's other friend Chanyeol replied.

 

"His parents knew about it already. His mom was crying and his dad was just silent."

 

"It was their only son, Baek." 

 

Baekhyun couldn't contain his composure. He cried in Chanyeol's arms knowing that his best friend has only three months left to live. 

 

Luhan was recently diagnosed with brain tumor. He has to go under operation but the doctor said that it may help or danger Luhan. 

 

Luhan was not shocked. He smiled and signed the papers that he would rather not receive treatment. He wants to fulfill everything that he had dreamed of doing in a span of three months. 

 

Three days have passed. Luhan had cried but he accepted his fate. 

 

"You're back..." Minseok felt his heart beat faster when he saw Luhan by the door.

 

"I probably missed your coffee." Luhan ordered a cup of cappucino. He asked Minseok's manager some time so that he can talk to Minseok.

 

"I'm dying." 

 

"W-What do you... what do you mean?" Minseok didn't know how to react. 

 

"I was recently diagnosed with... brain tumor." 

 

"This is not funny, Lu."

 

"I have more or less three months."

 

"Lu... we can go to Seoul. Let us ask for a second opinion or maybe third or fourth. Maybe there was a mistake. Luhan..."

 

"I signed papers that I wouldn't be receiving treatment. I just asked a few painkillers." Luhan saw how sincere Minseok was. Sadness was painted in his face. 

 

"You can ing live longer! Lu... please. I can take you to the hospital right away." 

 

"No. I want to spend these last three months with good memories. I don't want to stay in the hospital."

 

"Luhan."

 

"Minseok, I have already decided. I just told you because a part of me tells me that I should let you know since you have been a friend to me these days."

 

Minseok shed a tear. It was evident that Luhan still has a place in his heart.

 

"I still love you..." Minseok dropped those four words. Luhan couldn't reply. He felt something that as far as he remembers, he had never felt before. That feeling was new to him yet it was familiar. 

 

"You loved the old Luhan. I'm a whole new person, Minseok." Luhan didn't know if what he said was right. 

 

Before Minseok could even reply, Luhan fell onto the floor. He was in a seizure. Minseok rushed to get Luhan and asked somebody to call an ambulance. 

 

"Luhan!! ! Please, hurry up!" Minseok is in panic because Luhan is still shaking.

 

The doctor told Minseok that everything was okay. Luhan can go home by tomorrow. It was expected for Luhan to get seizures. After all, he has a complication in his brain.

 

Luhan woke up with confusion in his eyes. 

 

“Minseok...” He touched Minseok’s hands. 

 

“I was so worried about you! Are you feeling fine? I’ll call the doctor.” 

 

“I can... remember everything now... it was so sudden...” 

 

“Wait... are you serious? I’ll call the doctor first.” 

 

Luhan was still processing everything. All his memories came by in a rush. It was too much to take in. 

 

The doctor congratulated Luhan. He also advised to rest. He even asked Luhan if he really didn’t want to get treatment. Luhan was sure of it.

 

“What do you want to eat? I’ll get you some fruits.” Minseok took the knife and sliced some apples for Luhan.

 

“Apples were my favorite. It seems that you can still remember.” Luhan mentioned.

 

Minseok took care of Luhan for a week. He was at the hospital and Luhan’s apartment everyday. They talk about the past and how Luhan has already forgiven Minseok since he had taken care of him.

 

“I made you two cups of coffee. Americano and Cappucino. Your two favorites. I want you to choose.” Minseok handed Luhan indeed two cups of coffee that both have evident different smells.

 

“But I really like Cappucino, Minseok.” 

 

“Whatever. We both liked Americano back then.”

 

The room was filled with their laughs and stories. It was not impossible for them to like each other again or maybe consider getting back together.

 

They went up to the rooftop since they want to reminisce the feeling of watching stars together. 

 

“Look at those stars. How many are they? Thousands? Millions Billions?” Minseok had asked.

 

“Too many to even count.” Their eyes were focused at the sparkling flickers of light in the sky. 

 

“But nothing compares to the stars that I see in your eyes.” Minseok switched to Luhan’s eyes intently. 

 

“My love for you has never changed, Lu. I was just a jerk back then. I didn’t mean to..” 

 

“Shhh...” Minseok wasn’t able to finish his sentence. Luhan sealed his soft lips with a kiss. A kiss that happened again after long years. 

 

“I still love you...” Minseok muttered and they continued to search for love in each other as the night goes by and as the stars shine bright. 

 

“I loved you and I’m falling for you over again.” Luhan said in return.

 

“Please don’t leave me.” 

 

Another day and it was 7:30 am when they got their cups of coffee. Luhan has another check-up today. Minseok resigned from his work because he is planning to start his own coffee shop. Luhan praised how Minseok really has the talent and art of making coffee. It is undeniably the best. His hands were made for making beverages. 

 

Luhan didn’t have enough sleep because the last words that came from Minseok’s mouth were in his mind. He wants to reconsider treatment for his brain tumor. He wants to live for Minseok. 

 

“I will get treatment, Minseok.” 

 

Minseok’s eyes widen. He hugged Luhan and told him how he is happy about his decision.

 

They went to the hospital together to talk to Luhan’s doctor, but apparently the news that they got were even surprising.

 

“Luhan is perfectly well. There were malpractices during his tests. He doesn’t have brain tumor. He had seizures due to stress and that was fine. He just has to take more medicine to avoid those seizures and rest whenever necessary to lessen stress. I’m very sorry for worrying you.”

 

“What do you mean?” Minseok heard the words right, but he just wanted to make sure.

 

“I’m not dying?”

 

Truly, they heard the words right. Luhan is perfectly healthy and there’s nothing to worry about it. He has already informed his friends and parents and they were all so happy about it. 

 

They were inseperable for a few weeks but they had to go to their own homes as well so they talked on the phone and looked at the stars as if they were beside each other. Of couse, they both have a cup of coffee by their side. 

 

“Everything is perfect, Minseok. Everything feels so nice. I want to stay in this phase of life forever.”

 

“We can be happy forever.... together.” 

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Minseok.”

 

“I love you, Luhan.” 

 

Luhan waited outside the train station at 4:00 am. They planned to go to a trip together. It has been an hour, but there is no sign of Minseok. 

 

2 hours, Luhan had already tried calling for a few times, but he still remained to wait. 

 

3 hours, there was no improvement. 

 

He began to worry and walked back to his apartment thinking that maybe Minseok was waiting for him there. 

 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t. 

 

“Luhan!” Baekhyun shouted in worry seeing the face of Luhan totally in distress.

 

“Baekhyun.. have you seen Minseok? I was waiting for him and...”

 

“Minseok is dead, Luhan.” 

 

“No, he isn’t... He was with me yesterday. We went to the hospital—“ 

 

“No, Luhan. I went with you.”

 

“He made me coffee.” 

 

“It was Chanyeol who made coffee for you.” 

 

“No, that’s not true. He was with me—“ Luhan still doesn’t believe anything Baekhyun has been saying.

 

“You had amnesia because you and Minseok had a car accident. You’ve been seeing illusions of Minseok after regaining your memory. The person in the other car that bumped your car was Kim Jongdae. The barista you were referring too just looks like Minseok. The one with brain tumor wasn’t really you but Minseok since he got that after the accident. Please... I’ve been telling you this story again and again. Minseok is gone.” It was hard for Baekhyun to say these things but he had to make Luhan understand.

 

“The conversations you had with Minseok? Those were all just in you dreams. You saw Minseok? It was all an illusion. You were with Minseok? That was probably just me or Chanyeol. Minseok has never been with you since then, Luhan. It has been years and he has never and he will never come back.”