One step, two steps. Kihyun let his feet lead him trailing the quiet shore. He let out some sighs from those curvy, moist lips, the sighs that were like whispers to the chilly breezes. It didn’t even matter if he walked with both eyes closed. He stayed there, where the shore had become so lonely and quiet. Giving him enough chance and time to listen to the lullaby the ocean sang for the setting sun, that was the line where the ocean and the sky met so far away there.

Everytime he looked up at the sky, those black orbs reflected the orange and golden of the dusk, just like the ocean everytime he took more steps further along the shore. Kihyun wanted to touch those clouds that were like just shattering orange flavored cotton candy. Another sigh was slipping out of those lonely lips. Just like the stars on the night sky, the waves had become so glittery. He let the waves brushed against his feet and erased his fading out trails as if the shore was trying to hide him, to keep him for itself. It didn’t matter. 

The sands tickled the sole of his feet, the gentle lullaby of the wave was wrapping Kihyun’s ears gently. Kihyun felt like this world had comforted him who had become so monochrome. He held the camera that was hang on his chest, the only place colorful that he brought with him, the viewfinder he cherished so much. He took one more memory of the place where the ocean touched the dusk into his viewfinder.

Because this whole big picture had reminded him of someone. Someone that was as calm as the ocean, as comforting as the waves sound, as warm as the dusk, a goodbye that was as chilly as the breezes. 

He could see some couples on the other side of the shore and some people who was playing in the water. they felt same breeze, heard same sounds, saw same dusk, but they looked so colorful for his monochrome self. Again, he took a colorful memory into his viewfinder. He let the breezes blew on his soft lilac grey hair, sent shiver to his skin and spine.

He wondered, after all the colorful and happy memories, how can the only memory have imprinted in his soul was the one with farewell and made him this monochrome. 

“Kihyun-ah, I’m going to America,”.

“What?”.

It had been 4 years since the last time he met Hyunwoo and they were not even a high school sweetheart. They were not even best friends. They were just these high school students with some so damn awkward relationship and all. Kihyun loved the sky while Hyunwoo like the water. Kihyun loved to play basketball, while Hyunwoo loved to swim. Kihyun loved to sing while Hyunwoo loved to dance. Kihyun loved to take pictures, and Hyunwoo preferred to just enjoy the ephemeral moment. And it wasn’t like they had some deep or much memories together. All they had do was saying hello and good bye when they walked pass each other. Even their first meet was nothing nice to remember, it was when Kihyun fought with some seniors that picked on him and hit Hyunwoo’s chin unintentionally. There was really nothing good to remember, but when the farewell was made, he remembered the first time he felt like the sky fell on top of his head. 

“College,”. “I got some scholarship for Marine Science Department,”.

“Alright”.

Kihyun whispered to the breeze again. That time, just like the orange and golden sky that reflected on both of his eyes right now, he remembered the feeling of something that burnt inside him. 

 Kihyun checked his viewfinder and watching the sky pictures went to daylight on each scroll he made, as if he turned back the time. 

If he turned back the time and tried his best to make everything not awkward, will he be best friend with Hyunwoo? Will the memories will be more colorful? Will these four years filled up with some small memories of him contacting him? 

The old time, he was stupid. He didn’t think that the awkwardness between them was something beyond baseless awkwardness. Those glances, and smiles, those greetings after greeting and good byes after good byes. he didn’t know that losing someone who wasn’t even close could be this lonely. And that surprised him in so many ways he didn’t know existed.

But the more days passed, he kept on comparing everyone with Hyunwoo, like was stuck in an ephemeral forever moment. He didn’t even know when Hyunwoo took his flight, heck he didn’t even knew his address. All he knew was one day, suddenly he couldn’t find Hyunwoo anywhere in the school anymore. Just like that, he lost him. Just like that he suspected something else had grown inside of him all this time for that one senior. 

Kihyun sighed as he held his camera up and pointed the lens toward the dusk sky, one portrait, one landscape. Adjusting the ISO once and rolling in to zoom out once. 

He clicked the button to take pictures of it for some times before he checked his viewfinder and took some more pictures of the whole pictures of the small sunset left on the line where the sky and the ocean met. 

He didn’t even know what he was doing, he kept on clicking the button and set it on automatic few clicks in one click as if he was falling in love with the small amount of sunset left in the dusk and can’t let it go without turning every second of it into memories in his viewfinder. 

Until suddenly, in the middle of the darkened sky that was started to eat up the orange golden twilight, in the middle of the fist-sized sun set on top of the waves, he caught a silhouette of a man walking closer to him, in a quick pace. 

Those pale hands were still holding the camera and the clicking sounds were still heard, when Kihyun looked up to see the face of the silhouette. 

But there was no time to see the owner of the silhouette’s face as two arms had wrapped around him so gently tight and now his cheek was flat on a tan, broad, dripping wet shoulder. 

The clicking sounds had stopped, at the same time the surprise hug stopped.

Kihyun had his fist on the other’s chest and tried to push him away, while what happened was he was the one who was pushed away. Kihyun was so ready to launch his punches and curses.

“Wha—“. 

But the words stopped and Kihyun had his eyes and mouth opened wide as he caught those crescent smiling eyes, those smiling lips, the wet tan, muscled tall body on his sight and can’t stop turning it into memories in the viewfinder inside his head. 

“H, Hyunwoo hyung—“ Kihyun’s lips called out the name, and he felt like his heart bursted in so many colors and tastes he didn’t even knew existed immediately.

“Kihyun-ah,”.

Kihyun had his breathes run fast away from his lungs, whispering so loud into the breezes. The sky had turned into blue and black, the cloud has shattered even more, but filling up the sky. The ocean was so dark and glittery at a same time. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve looked for you last year, but, I got so many tests and things before so, I lost it,”. 

Kihyun just blinked. His brain hadn’t even processed the whole things happened just now and this person in front of him was stepping further into the thing already. 

“Kihyun-ah,”.

Kihyun looked up to those eyes that was higher than his eyes.

“I was going to look for you tomorrow after all of these replacement tests finished, and I was going to see if we can still work and take some time, but, but, but you’re here and, and Kihyun-ah—”. “I know, I’m still lacking, even so full of stupidity and left like that like you’re nothing, I didn’t even get to say good bye, nor sorry to you. I know I have to start slowly and everything. Heck, I don’t even know how ‘s your feeling, but, Kihyun-ah,”.

Kihyun’s breath hitched.

“I think I love you. Can’t you love me back?”. 

But Kihyun’s hands pushed that firm chest in anger, even before Kihyun knew it. The tense face of the taller guy was obvious and he let himself pushed backward this time. He hung his head low, in guilt and regret.

Kihyun opened his mouth and inhaled the air as if he tried to say something for a few times but he can’t bring himself to say anything. He didn’t even know what he was feeling right now.
“Kihyun-ah,” the older guy still hung his head low in regret and guilt, called out just as soft as Kihyun’s whisper to the breezes as he let Kihyun do anything he wanted, even if it was beating him up until he tired. Kihyun walked closer to Hyunwoo with hard fist next to his thighs and the older guy closed his eyes as he witnessed those fists. 

But the breezes whispering to him aloud about the colors that person brought to him and the ocean’s lullaby became a love song, with him calling out his name with that voice. And the sleeping sun just told him that the ocean never stopped glittering from day to night and so did his heart for him. 

Kihyun tiptoed and the kiss was full lips and square.  

It was so full, his viewfinder was already so full of colorful memories even he was standing under the dark sky, between the chilling breezy, and before the dark ocean that glitters like his black orbs just now. 

***