It was a quiet night, the air was cool and still and the sky was clear. It was late, at least 2:30am and everyone was sleeping except Hoseok. Hoseok could not fall asleep even though he was so tired from their busy schedule and would give anything if he could just pass out for a month before returning to activities. Instead, he sat on the roof of the dorm that he and his band mates stayed in, looking out at the sparkling lights of the city. 

He tilted his head back to look at the sky and took a deep breath, slowly letting the air out through his mouth. He imagined the trillions of stars in the sky though he could not see them through the light pollution from the city. He'd been trying so hard lately to be normal, act funny, laugh and be cheerful; it was exhausting. He felt distant from the other members, but he did not show it and he would not speak of it to any of them, not even Jungkook who he was very close with. 

Hoseok thought of the other members sleeping peacefully in the rooms below him and frowned as images of Yoongi filled his mind. He shook his head and blinked several times. It's because I'm tired. He had been telling himself the same thing for at least a month now, when Yoongi had hugged him and his heart fluttered, when they had almost walked into each other and he felt his face grow hot, every time when the picture of Yoongi's smiling face drifted into his thoughts. 

"Hoseokie-hyung?"

Hoseok's head turned in the direction of the voice, automatically changing his outward mood as he prepared for an interaction. "Yeah?" He recognised Jimin in the dim light walking towards him.

"I woke up and you weren't there. What are you doing up here? It's 2:50 in the morning, it's cold and you should sleep," Jimin said folding his arms over himself. "Are you okay?"

Hoseok smiled and slowly got to his feet. "Yeah, I just wanted to get some air. It's nice up here, it doesn't seem so cold after a while," he said putting his hand on Jimin's shoulder. "Lets go back in."

Jimin looked at Hoseok suspiciously but turned and allowed himself to be directed back into the building. "I don't know how you can be awake at this time; I'm exhausted," he yawned. "I'm surprised I woke up at all."

"Everyone has nights when they can't sleep," Hoseok laughed as they walked down the stairs. "Just be grateful I didn't decide to have my own house party to pass the time." 

"You wouldn't." Jimin opened the door to their dorm and walked in, holding it open as Hoseok walked through before closing it gently behind him. 

They took off their shoes and made their way back to their room. 

"Try to get some sleep," Jimin said as they got into their beds. "Clear your mind, it'll help. Focus on your breathing."

The smile crept back onto Hoseok's face. "It's always harder than it sounds," he said reaching over and turning off the light. "Night, Jimin-ah."

"Goodnight, Hoseokie-hyung." 

***

"Hyungie, you look terrible." Jungkook sat down opposite Hoseok at the table. 

As hard as he was trying, Hoseok was finding it very hard to clear his head. It felt like there was a permanent fog around him, seeping in through his ears and into his mind. His eyes hurt and he kept having to shake his head as it nodded down towards the table. He didn't get any sleep and it was worse being in bed, hearing Jimin's relaxed breathing and not being able to see his own hands if he held them right in front of his face. 

"Seok-ah has become Zombie-si."

Hoseok suppressed any reaction to Yoongi joining them at the table and leaning towards him and instead rubbed his eyes. "I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about our show tonight and it just kept my thoughts too busy." He accepted the bottle of water that Yoongi passed him.

Jungkook sat back in his chair as Hoseok opened the bottle. "You don't have to worry about that, we've done this so many times now; it'll be fine."

The hint of a smile crept onto Hoseok's lips as he took a sip of water. Will it be fine? He tried to search his mind for why it wouldn't be and the memory of their last performance came to him. Yoongi had been getting quite close recently, and though Hoseok was sure this was a fan service, he couldn't help feeling nervous about betraying his emotions. What emotions? It's just because I'm tired.

"Seokseok-ah...what are you thinking about?" Yoongi was looking at him, his head resting on his hand. 

Jungkook was no longer sitting with them and Hoseok silently cursed himself for getting lost in his thoughts. "Nothing," he replied, smiling cheerily. "Just spaced out." 

Yoongi placed a hand on Hoseok's thigh, his expression earnest. "If there's anything wrong, you know you can talk to me, right?" He leaned closer. "I know what it can be like when things get a bit overwhelming."

Hoseok got up from his seat, maybe a little too quickly. "I'm okay, honestly. Thanks anyway." He started walking into the kitchen. "I'm going to make food."

The smell of kimchi and doenjang jiggae filled the kitchen and as much as Hoseok loved kimchi, he couldn't help wrinkling his nose at the strong smell.

"Ah, hyung! Have you come to help?" Jungkook had been chopping the kimchi while Seokjin tasted the jiggae.

"No, I came to eat; that smells delicious." Hoseok stood next to Seokjin, looking over his shoulder expectantly. "Jin-hyung, feed me." 

Seokjin blew on a spoonful of the stew before lifting it to Hoseok's mouth. "What do you think?"

"Mmmm, delicious!" Hoseok said, still chewing as he gave two thumbs ups. "As always."

"Maybe it'll help to wake you up," Junkgook laughed returning to the kimchi. "This kimchi is quite strong."

"Any kimchi is good kimchi," Hoseok said steeling a piece. "What time do we have to leave?"

"They're picking us up at 11:30," Seokjin informed him. "Maybe go have a shower now and this will be done when you are." 

Hoseok nodded and left the kitchen stopping by his room to get clothes before walking to the bathroom. He opened the door and froze as he took in the image before him of Yoongi, shirt half off, pants hanging low on his hips. Their eyes met  and Hoseok quickly stepped back closing the door. "Sorry, I didn't think anyone was there." 

"Seokseok-ah." 

The door opened again as Hoseok turned to leave. "Yeah?"

"Do you like me, Seok-ah?" Yoongi asked. 

Hoseok's eyes widened. "What?!" he said, spinning back around. He couldn't read Yoongi's expression.

There was silence for what felt like a century before Yoongi smiled. "I didn't mean it in a weird way. As friends?" 

"What? I mean, yes, of course." Hoseok was confused by the question or more by Yoongi's reason for asking. "You should know that. Let me know when you've finished." 

With that, Hoseok walked away feeling Yoongi's eyes on his back. He returned to his room, closed the door behind him and fell back against it, sliding down to the floor. Are you playing games with me, Hyung? He clutched his clothes to his chest, feeling his heartbeat in his throat and squeezed his eyes shut as if he were in pain. "Aish!" Throwing his clothes at his bed he got to his feet again and, after taking a moment to recompose himself, left his room and headed back to the kitchen, feeling slightly annoyed at Seokjin along with himself. 

When Hoseok entered the kitchen he saw Seokjin, Jungkook and Namjoon together talking in low voices but they stopped abruptly when he entered, watching him as he got another bottle of water from the fridge. "What are you guys talking about?" 

"Weren't you going to have a shower?" Seokjin asked.

A slight smile quickly suppressed from Jungkook did not go unseen by Hoseok. 

A thought suddenly came to Hoseok. "Aaaah...is this a hidden camera?" he asked looking around expectantly.

"What? Why would you think that?" Namjoon asked looking genuinely intrigued. "Did something happen?"

Hoseok looked from Seokjin to Namjoon to Jungkook frowning. "You're all acting weird today," he said still expecting a reveal. "Yoongi-ah is having a shower now, I'll go after. Is the food ready?"  He was pleased at his ability to act nonchalant about walking in on Yoongi.

"It's probably the lack of sleep, Hoseok-ah," Namjoon said looking concerned and again he seemed genuine. "It's okay, there's no hidden camera." 

After a pause, Hoseok laughed. This is ridiculous. "Sorry, sorry, I'm being silly," he said as he unscrewed the cap off the bottle of water. "I'm so tired I could drop right now." 

Seokjin and Jungkook started serving food and Namjoon left the kitchen. Hoseok wasn't convinced by them; they were definitely acting differently. 

***

"We'll wrap up there, everyone. Go have a break and something to eat before the show," the stage manager called out after their soundcheck. "Good work, guys. See you back here at 8pm."

Everyone called out their "thank you"s as they walked off the stage, Hoseok at the back of the line, wiping the sweat from his face with a towel. He was about to walk out the door to the green rooms when he was suddenly pulled aside from the walkway. 

"What the-?" He broke off as he came face to face with Yoongi, a finger pressed to his lips.

Yoongi pulled Hoseok further away from the walkway where there were no people around. 

"Hyung, what are you doing?" Hoseok asked feeling more than a little uncomfortable. "I'm hungry and we need to go to hair and makeup."

Yoongi stopped abruptly, turned and pushed Hoseok against the wall. "We need to talk," he said in a low but demanding voice.

Hoseok frowned. "Why all of a sudden?" 

"This morning...when you walked in on me..." Yoongi lowered his gaze briefly before raising his head again to look into Hoseok's eyes. "When I asked you if you liked me...I didn't mean as a friend. I don't know what came over me to ask all of a sudden but when I realised what I was doing, I got so nervous and I just...I just...I don't want you to think I'm weird. I don't want you to hate me, Seok-ah." 

Hoseok's heart was racing; he hoped that Yoongi couldn't hear or feel it. This didn't seem real and something felt wrong with the way this was happening and it made him nervous to respond to his hyung's confession. Could I get away with holding the silence until someone discovers us? And yet somehow he felt that an interruption and leaving this unresolved would create tension between them. 

"Seok-ah...say something, please," Yoongi pleaded, his grip on Hoseok loosening. 

"Why are you saying all of this?" So much for silence. "Do the others know about this?" Hoseok thought of how Seokjin had sent him to the shower and then after his encounter how they acted so suspiciously...and Jungkook's slip of a smile.

Yoongi's expression changed and he looked down again before nodding. "Yeah...they keep trying to "help" or push me into confessing."

"Yoongi-hyung...I don't know what to say," Hoseok said starting to panic. Should I tell him about the thoughts and feelings I've been having? 

"I can feel your heart...just say whatever you're feeling right now. It's okay if you don't accept me; I just need some kind of response so that I can move on." Yoongi rested his head against Hoseok's chest. 

"Aaah...hyung...." Hoseok tried to pull out of Yoongi's hold but he was stronger than he looked. I'm going to regret this, I know I will. He was almost certain this must be a hidden camera but he couldn't help feeling for Yoongi. He wrapped his arms around the other. "Hyung...I don't want to hurt you...You mean a lot to me and lately...a can't help but keep thinking of you and I try really hard to act normally but...it's tearing me apart." 

Yoongi pulled away slightly to examine Hoseok's face. "Seok-ah...are you saying you like me?"

At the rate Hoseok's heart was beating he was almost certain it would leap out of his chest. Unable to speak, he nodded. At that moment a loud noise filled the space and he looked around startled. 

Small clumps of streamers fell over Hoseok and Yoongi as the rest of the BTS members came into view. They were laughing and cheering but Yoongi held tightly to Hoseok. 

"We got you, hyungie!" Jungkook laughed. "The look on your face is priceless. We totally got you! Top acting skills, Yoongi-hyung!" 

It...this was a prank. How long have they been planning this? Hoseok smiled doing his best to ignore the pain in his chest and act like he knew what was happening to cover for himself. "You guys are the worst...at being secretive." He wasn't so confident that he would be able to fool Yoongi who was still clinging to him and he was sure that his heartbeat gave him away but Yoongi didn't say anything. "I knew you were up to something so I thought I'd play along and see how it ended." He cupped Yoongi's cheeks with his hands, squishing them together. "I love you, Yoongi-hyung!" 

They all laughed except for Yoongi who didn't look impressed and instead looked a bit...concerned? 

"Aish, it's totally my fault," Jungkook said rubbing his neck. "I almost laughed this morning when you came back from the shower." 

"That definitely aided my suspicion but you all at pranks," Hoseok said trying to wriggle out of Yoongi's grip. "Yah! You can let go now, hyung." 

After a final searching stare, Yoongi released him and stepped away. "Sorry, I took it a bit far." 

Hoseok waved his hands, desperate to appear as if it hadn't affected him. "No, no, we're all friends here. All fun and games," he laughed. Friends. Did the others know about his feelings for Yoongi or did they just think it would be a funny situation to put him in? Did they realise how much it would hurt him? And right before the concert. 

*** 

Hoseok waved at the camera as he came off the stage and leaned towards it. "I made a mistake," he said as he passed. Truthfully, he had made a few mistakes. It had been hard to concentrate at times but for the most part he had managed to hold it together and focus on the performance. He had caught Yoongi staring at him multiple times throughout the night before and during the performance. If they made eye contact, Yoongi would frown or sigh and look away and it didn't do anything to make Hoseok confident that he had fooled him with his act. 

"Hoseokie-hyung! Good work!" Jimin said putting an arm around his shoulder as they walked to the greenroom. 

"You too, Minnie-ah!" Hoseok said smiling brightly and then added cheekily "Your solo was really y."

Jimin laughed. "Stop teasing, hyung." 

"J-HOOOOOOPE!" Taehyung crashed into Hoseok from behind. "You were amazing! I'm sorry we pranked you! I love you!" 

Hoseok laughed at Taehyung's enthusiasm. "No, no, I made a mistake," he said and avoided responding to his apology about the prank. 

The members of BTS went about getting changed and cleaning off their makeup, chatting with each other about the performance or in Jimin's case, sleeping. More than once Yoongi avoided going near Hoseok, and when he sat down next to him without realising he quickly got up and went to talk with Namjoon. It crushed Hoseok to be in this position with the one he cared about. Please, don't hate me, Yoongi. Please don't think I'm weird.

***

Hoseok rolled over in his bed; it was going to be another sleepless night. After what seemed like many hours of trying to get comfortable and relax, he got out of bed and left the room that he shared with Jimin who was sleeping soundly. Pulling his cardigan around his shoulders, Hoseok slipped on his shoes and left the dorm, once again heading to the roof. The air was chilled, cooler than the previous night and it was overcast. He took a deep breath of the fresh air and he walked to his usual spot but something stopped him in his tracks. 

Yoongi was there, leaning on the railing and staring into the distance. "I never realised how nice it is up here at night time." 

The comment caught Hoseok off-guard, he had thought that Yoongi wouldn't have noticed him and he would've slipped away without saying anything. "Yeah," was all he managed to say. 

When Hoseok made no indication of moving or wanting to say anything, Yoongi spoke again. "You should come here and see." 

Hoseok swallowed past the lump in his throat. "I've seen it already," he said to Yoongi who had not ce to look at him. "It's pretty cold, I think I might go back in."

"Wait, Hoseok-ah." Yoongi turned to face Hoseok as he turned back toward the door. "About earlier...are...are you okay?"

A small smile crept onto Hoseok's lips. No. "Yeah, don't worry about it," he said turning back. His eyes met Yoongi's. "Please, don't treat me differently. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I was just playing along." 

"Were you?" Yoongi's voice was doubtful. "Your heart may say more than you do with words...it...scared me a bit." 

Hoseok started to feel frustrated. "Hyung, I don't know what you want right now. Do you want me to say that I like you? That I love you? That, no, it wasn't an act and please accept my feelings?" His voice was louder than he intended. "Are you not finished with this prank yet? What more do you want?" 

Yoongi's expression was unchanged as he walked towards Hoseok. "Then let's just pretend it didn't happen. Just let things go back to how they were between us and we stop acting awkward." 

Hoseok laughed in exasperation. "Hyung...it wasn't me avoiding you all night." 

"Right...like I said...I wasn't sure." Yoongi's tone was apologetic.

"What if I did like you?" Hoseok asked Yoongi who looked surprised by the question. "What would you do then? Would you just avoid me all the time? Treat me like there's something wrong with me? Did you think how that might make me feel?" 

Yoongi opened his mouth to respond but Hoseok raised his hand.

"You know what? You're right. Just pretend it didn't happen; I'm too tired to deal with this right now," Hoseok said starting to worry that he may have said too much. "Don't treat me differently, okay? I'm going to go back in now." 

Yoongi did not try to stop Hoseok again as he walked back to the door and opened it. Hoseok's heart was racing again, his throat felt tight and he wanted to cry but he could not betray himself. 

"Goodnight, Hoseok-ah." 

Hoseok could not read anything from Yoongi's voice. He paused for a moment but decided not to try to speak and closed the door behind him. I'll be okay.

************************************

Forgive me, guys!!!! Let me know if you want a part 2!

P.S. who's your favourite member of BTS?

Peace out <3