Over the following days, the most significant change could be seen in Taehyung’s general behavior. He didn’t talk much to anyone anymore, he always seemed deep in thought and he looked pissed.

Taehyung was still convinced Jimin would not end their friendship for a reason like that or say those things without a hidden reason. No matter what anyone did or said, he wouldn’t be convinced otherwise and, for a good while, he thought hard about what Jimin’s reason could be. But, slowly, that conviction and issue slipped to the back of his mind, as Taehyung started questioning his own behavior, towards everyone and in any circumstances, wondering if he was indeed very annoying for some people.

Once he embarked on this train of thought, Taehyung soon found evidence supporting the fact that he had been annoying. From how his friendship with Jimin started and how he had pursued Jungkook, to how overly touchy he was with people, how overly zealous he was when he wanted something and how he deliberately annoyed people like Yoongi. Taehyung soon lost all will to interact with people, thinking that everything about him was annoying.

He felt the need to ask Jimin for advice like he often used to. He also felt the need for the emotional comfort Jimin naturally provided. But, like never before, Taehyung was wary of approaching Jimin, or anyone for that matter, because he felt like a bother.

Jimin saw the changes in Taehyung and every part of him wanted to reach out, but he told himself it was just a transitioning phase and reaching out now would make the hurt he had subjected his friend to completely useless. So he held himself back, feeling Taehyung’s sadness alongside his own.

One other person that immediately noticed the changes in Taehyung and who looked to Yoongi like he was experiencing withdrawal symptoms was Jungkook. Taehyung had not bugged him or even interacted with him in quite a while and Jungkook desperately wanted to do something about it but he didn’t know the cause behind Taehyung’s changes, so he had no idea how to approach the matter.

When Taehyung passed him and Yoongi in the hallway without even noticing them, Jungkook found it so unnatural that he almost panicked. Yoongi had called out to him, pretending to scold him for ignoring his seniors, but Taehyung just turned back, said “Sorry.” and continued on his way.

The whole thing seemed unnatural to Yoongi too, so he started paying more attention to what was happening to Taehyung, not taking him long to realize that Taehyung and Jimin weren’t hanging out anymore, both of them looking and acting like someone close to them had died.

After a class in which he had bounced his leg under the desk so much and so fast the teacher almost sent him out, Jungkook gave up and asked Yoongi:

Ju: “What’s going on with Taehyung?”

Y: “Something with Jimin, but I’m not sure what.”

Ju: “How can we find out?”

Y: “By asking.”

Ju: “Which one?”

Y: “Preferably, both.”

It so happened that the first one to cross paths with Yoongi and Jungkook was Taehyung. Again Taehyung’s mind was somewhere else and he failed to notice them, so Yoongi called out to him again:

Y: “Hey, Taehyung. Let me talk you for a bit.”

Taehyung turned around, looked at Yoongi and said “No.” plainly before walking away.

Y: “Hey!” Yoongi almost yelled before he went over and grabbed Taehyung by the wrist, attempting to pull him while Taehyung struggled to free himself from Yoongi’s grip.

T: “Let go.”

Y: “Just let me talk to you for two minutes.”

T: “I don’t want to!”

Y: “Well tough luck!”

Yoongi got angry and powerful. He pulled Taehyung into a nearby empty classroom and threw him into an empty chair just as Jungkook reached the doorway.

Y: “You never stop till you get the things that you want, so this is a taste of your own medicine. Let me talk to you!”

Taehyung mumbled something with his head lowered and Yoongi only understood “… so annoying…”, making him even angrier as he thought Taehyung was referring to him.

Y: “YOU’RE so annoying!”

T: “I KNOW ALREADY! That’s what I just said. You don’t have to rub it into my face, damn it!” Taehyung snapped back, pushing Yoongi out of the way and exiting the classroom.

As he passed Jungkook, the latter noticed his pained expression and couldn’t stop himself from running after Taehyung. He followed throughout the school till finally Taehyung had gotten fed up and snapped at him:

T: “What do you want? Aren’t you sick of me pestering you all the time too? Or do you want to also give me a taste of my own medicine and show me what it’s like to be annoyed?”

Ju: “You’re more annoying like this than you were before.”

T: “Then just leave me alone and you won’t have to deal with it anymore.”

Ju: “You’re wrong if you think I’ll get affected and give up with something like this.”

T: “Oh? So even your standards for annoyance are sky-high, huh?” Taehyung said in a low voice and starting to approach Jungkook after something inside his mind had snapped and Jungkook caught the change in his eyes. “Then what would I have to do to get you affected and annoyed, huh? Assault you?”

Taehyung said the last part after he had grabbed Jungkook by the collar and pulled him close enough for their faces to almost touch and for Jungkook to feel the look in Taehyung’s eyes almost palpable. Two seconds had passed, but they felt like two centuries. Taehyung had let go of Jungkook’s collar and turned to walk away.

T: “Just use this chance to get away from me. I won’t bother you anymore.”

Jungkook had rarely in his life felt scared and this situation would also not have scared him if it had been anyone other than Taehyung. And what scared him the most was knowing that Taehyung was hurting enough to change so drastically and in that way. Jungkook stabilized his breathing and decided he wasn’t going to be of much use if he also let himself get so emotional.

Meanwhile, on the other side of school, Yoongi reached the same conclusion. He texted Jimin to meet him in the music room and, when Jimin showed up, Yoongi said:

Y: “Ordering people to talk to me doesn’t, apparently, go that well, so… I’m asking you if you wanna tell me what’s going on.”

Jimin took a deep and long sigh before he started explaining things to Yoongi. The latter listened and let out his own long and heavy sight at the end before he spoke up:

Y: “Listen, Jimin, I understand your reasoning, but I think your solution has more cons than pros.”

J: “You don’t understand… NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!” Jimin yelled before he started crying and letting out all kinds of things in no real order. “I didn’t ask to end up with this face! I didn’t do anything to deserve it! Why do I have to be like this? WHY? Why does my best friend have to suffer because he’s my best friend? Why can’t I do the thing I love most? I have to cut off so many things because of this ugliness. Why can’t I cut off some of the pain without bringing in even more pain or meeting opposition? Nobody understands what it feels like to know you’re a monster and that everywhere you go people are gonna have so many negative feelings towards you right off the bat. Even the people closest to me try to make me think it’s all in my head, that it’s not a real issue, but I feel the horror of it every day, every moment of every freaking day! I’m so tired of this! I’m so tired of facing this alone. I hate this face! I HATE it! I hate… myself. I hate everything about myself… I hate everything…”

Jimin’s emotional explosion concluded with continuous sobbing. Compared to Taehyung, Jimin’s outburst had been much worse, but Yoongi forced himself to stay calm throughout it.

Y: “Do you really hate EVERYTHING about yourself?”

Jimin just continued sobbing and didn’t answer Yoongi, so the latter got up and started approaching him while he said:

Y: “Do you really hate everything, or is it just the way you look? Can you even name one other part that’s hate worthy about yourself? If not, then that must mean you consider the way you look the sole factor defining you. And if all you amount to is an appearance that’s hate worthy, then you’re screwed! That’s all people are gonna see, they’ll stay away from you and you’ll be alone with no one trying to oppose you when you think badly about yourself!”

Yoongi wanted to stay calm, but he ended up yelling in a way that left him gasping for air and making Jimin angry enough to get up and yell back:

J: “What are you trying to say, Yoongi?”

Y: “I’m saying you’re an awesome friend who listens patiently to Taehyung, gives him mature advice and even causes himself suffering to protect him. I’m saying you’re a kind person who helps me with my composition even though you get nothing out of this and worries about giving me some disease even when you’re distressed about your own problems. I’m saying that you’re funny, smart, sharp enough to figure people out the way I do, you’re an amazing dancer who overcomes difficult obstacles to continue doing what you like and you’re an amazing person who managed to shoulder all of your pain well even if you felt alone, which means you have loads of inner strength and can overcome everything.”

Yoongi kept on yelling and he had to stop again to catch his breath before he could continue:

Y: “I’m saying there’s a lot more to you than the way you look. There are a bunch of things to love about yourself because they really are love worthy and if you could see them and focus on them more and make them shine till they overshadow the part you don’t like about yourself, than that one part will stop affecting you so much and slowly but surely that part will receive less and less attention from you and the people around you because the attention’s gonna be directed towards the parts of you that are amazing and you and the people around you will see you as a whole as amazing as you are, so stop focusing on the parts of you that you hate and love yourself more.”

Yoongi had yelled so much and with so much emotion he felt lightheaded and erupted into coughing. Jimin was stunned to say the least. He couldn’t say anything back to Yoongi. All he could do was ask:

J: “How… how do I start doing that?”

Y: “First of all, stop trying to hide yourself. You’re trying to hide your face, but you’re hiding all the good stuff along with it. Ditch the mask, ditch any form of hiding, reluctance, shyness and fear along with it. Expose everything and take everything that comes to you as a consequence, be it good or bad. Last but not least, feel proud about doing that. Because shouldering pain takes strength, but opening yourself up for even more pain to come in along with the good things takes strength AND courage. So if you do that, you’ll have one more thing to love about yourself.”

Jimin’s eyes filled up with tears again and, after they slowly started falling, he brought his hand up to his face to wipe them away but his fingers came into contact with the mask. Jimin breathed in and out for a few seconds, then took his mask off and slowly raised his eyes to look at Yoongi. As Yoongi looked back while still trying to stabilize his breathing, a smile crept up on Jimin’s face as he said:

J: “Thank you, Yoongi.”

Yoongi nodded shortly and smiled back before he said:

Y: “Sure thing. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to go lie down.”

Jimin made a few decisions that day and one of the many good things about Jimin was that he always stuck to his decisions.

Taehyung, on his part, wasn’t doing that well the following morning. He regretted snapping at Yoongi and Jungkook the way he did and he was trying to think of what to do about it as he was coming to school. He was so deep in thought that he hadn’t noticed Jungkook walking next to him after he had passed through the gate. At one point, however, he felt something was off, looked to his right and jumped out of his skin when he saw Jungkook next to him.

T: “You… Wha… Why?”

Ju: “I still haven’t figured out what the best thing to do would be, so I’m just gonna follow you around until then.”

T: “But… why? After the things I said yesterday…”

Ju: “About assaulting me?”

T: “Yeah, about that… I’m really sorry. I’d never actually assault you, but I was mad and trying to make a point. So… sorry.”

Ju: “Even if you did assault me, I could handle you. But I don’t wanna hurt you, so I’m glad to hear you confirm what I already thought about yesterday’s incident. Anyway, especially with that threat becoming invalid, I won’t be intimidated into staying away from you.”

T: “But why would you not want to stay away? Haven’t you had enough of me?”

Ju: “Not even close.”

T: “Wha…”

Ju: “You, along with everyone else in this school, seem to be underestimating me on something – Even if I’m provoked, I don’t do things I don’t want to do.” Jungkook said with a smirk as Taehyung continued to look at him puzzled. “So, just because you’re having an off week or two and you tried provoking me into it, I’m not gonna stay away from you.”

After he reached his classroom and sat at his desk, Taehyung still struggled to wrap his head around what had happened with Jungkook a few moments ago. He was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice when Jimin came into the classroom without wearing his face mask and got held up at the door, a classmate greeting him with:

C: “So the freak finally decides to show us his face after nearly a year, huh?”

Taehyung realized what was happening around him when he heard Jimin’s voice talking back to the guy who kept shoving him outside of the classroom and saying mean things to him. Jimin didn’t turn his eyes away even once and he kept trying to enter the classroom until the hand on his chest pushed him too hard and he fell on the floor outside the classroom. He got back up and wanted to try entering the classroom one more time before his classmate would close the door in his face, but his classmate had barely touched the handle before he found himself pinned against the closest wall, with his feet in the air and his neck being crushed under Taehyung’s hand.

Jimin quickly tried pulling Taehyung back and telling him to stop, but it was useless. Taehyung was normally not that physically strong, but he was mad enough now to pin his classmate against the wall with one hand and not budge no matter how much he struggled and how hard Jimin tried pulling him. The look Taehyung had in his eyes was almost murderous and, when he raised his fist up to his ear, Jimin panicked severely.

Right then the teacher came in, stopped the whole incident before something more happened, and Taehyung got suspended for a few days following the one he had spent mostly in the principal’s office, refusing to even think about saying sorry for what he did.

No one in their class picked on Jimin after that, even though Jimin continued to come without his mask, because Taehyung would eventually be back and Jungkook had started coming to their classroom during recess, sitting at Taehyung’s desk and watching Jimin like a hawk with a mission.

J: “Did Tae talk you into this somehow?”

Ju: “I haven’t talked to Taehyung since before he got suspended, but I can imagine he’d approve of this and, unlike many of my ideas, I got full support from Yoongi on this.”

J: “Why isn’t he here too then?”

Ju: “Why? You wanna see him?”

J: “Uhm…”

Ju: “He’s just avoiding people and spending every recess in the music room for a while cause, I have noooooo idea how it happened, but he lost his voice from too much yelling.”

J: “Well I have noooooo idea how it happened either.” Jimin said laughing.

Ju: “Say, Jimin… What are you gonna do about Taehyung?”

J: “I plan to go to his house tomorrow, apologize to his parents, apologize to him and see if there’s anything I can do so he’ll forgive me.”

Ju: “There’s one bulletproof way to get him to forgive you.”

J: “What’s that?”

Ju: “Show up and say sorry.”

Jimin looked slightly amused and slightly amazed at Jungkook, unable to believe this was the same guy who would occasionally get jealous over the attention Taehyung gave Jimin.

J: “How do you know Tae so well?”

Jungkook looked surprised at Jimin following his question and gave him a smirk as a reply, making Jimin shake his head and saying something about being young and in some kind of way.

Jungkook really did have withdrawal symptoms from not seeing Taehyung for a while, so one morning he went to Taehyung’s house just to get a look at his face before heading towards school. However, on his way to Taehyung’s house, Jungkook saw him spacing out on a park bench, so he went and sat next to him, scaring the living daylight out of Taehyung when he realized Jungkook had been sitting there.

Ju: “What are you doing here?”

T: “Pretending to be in class.” Taehyung said, referring to the fact that he would have had class at that hour if he weren’t suspended.

Ju: “Considering how you were spacing out, pretty accurate acting.”

T: “Hey, I don’t space out… that often.”

Ju: “Your parents don’t know?”

T: “I can’t figure out how to tell them. Violence is the one thing they don’t tolerate.”

Ju: “But your reason behind the violence was good.”

T: “Yeah…” Taehyung said with a smile.

Ju: “I found out from Yoongi what Jimin said to you before you two stopped hanging out and why he said it. Want me to tell you?”

T: “Nah. I didn’t believe for one minute that Jimin meant what he said, so I figured it out on my own along the way.”

Ju: “You really like Jimin, huh?”

T: “I do.”

Ju: “More than me?”

T: “Differently than you.”

Ju: “How? In what way do you like me?”

T: “I really don’t wanna have this conversation right now.” Taehyung said, sitting up and walking away.

However, Jungkook also sat up and began following him throughout the park, incessantly saying “Tell me.” for five minutes straight until Taehyung snapped, turned around and yelled:

T: “Knock it off! That’s so annoying!”

Jungkook tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at Taehyung.

T: “Yes, I’m aware of my own hypocrisy.”

Jungkook smiled and nodded once, then he continued staring at Taehyung with a serious expression.

T: “You… if I know you well enough by now, you’re pissed.”

Ju: “Correct.”

T: “Why are you pissed?”

Ju: “I’m pissed cause you changed your way of being just cause someone told you you were annoying and you automatically assumed it was a bad thing.”

T: “Isn’t being annoying generally assumed to be a bad thing?”

Ju: “Screw generally assumed! If tomorrow it were generally assumed to be a good thing to have only one hand, would you cut off one of yours? Being annoying a.k.a. being yourself is what got you and Jimin close and what’s gotten me here talking to you like this. Would you consider these bad thing?”

T: “Hell no!”

Ju: “There we go. I’m pissed that we get continuously molded by other people’s opinions. People have always had high expectations of me for as long as I can remember and I strived to meet them always. That’s gotten me to be good at many things, but it also made people around me expect me to be good everything. But I’m not, not right off the bat at least. And that makes some people disappointed. Or happy actually. And it makes me feel like a failure. So I try to be good at the things I’m not originally good at too. But this just raises the expectations people have of me. So other people’s opinions of me made me like this and, by being like this, I’m making people expect even more of me. It’s a vicious cycle. Your attitude became more annoying AFTER you were told you were annoying. Jimin’s bad opinion of himself influenced the way he acted, which consequently influenced how others acted towards him, amplifying that bad opinion he had of himself. I’m pissed cause I thought you were above this kinda thing, that you were gonna act the way you wanted regardless of what people said or thought.”

T: “I get your point, but you can’t really blame me for being affected by what my best friend said to me.”

Ju: “That’s why I want you to be at least equally as affected by what I’m telling you now – Don’t change this side of yourself. It does a lot of good and very little bad. Got it?”

T: “Yes, sir!”

Ju: “Unless you wanna prove to me that Jimin’s opinion matters more and you like him more than me.”

T: “Like I said – I like you differently.”

Ju: “Like I said – Tell me in what way.”

T: “Argh!”

Ju: “If you don’t wanna tell me that, tell me why you like me. Be honest.”

T: “It’s just… Well… I know you at stuff you try for the first time, but you always push yourself till you get it right and I find that… so cool about you… But you also have this funny and childlike side that makes you so cute, I swear! And there’s also…”

Taehyung went on for ten full minutes about why he liked Jungkook, never once looking him in the eye throughout it. When he couldn’t find the words he needed anymore, he growled and said:

T: “Argh! I don’t know anymore. I just like you cause you’re you.”

Ju: “That’ll do. Same here. I like you too, Taehyung.”

Taehyung’s head shot up and he looked at Jungkook with eyes as wide as two flying saucers.

T: “Huh?”

Ju: “I like you too, Taehyung.” Jungkook said approaching Taehyung and giving him a prolonged peck on the lips. “Specifically, I’m in love with you. Like crazy. Now how about you kiss me back?”

Jungkook kissed Taehyung again and, after Taehyung’s shock wore off a bit, he wrapped his arms around Jungkook and kissed him back. They kissed slowly and sweetly as the wind blew the leaves on the trees around them and the rest of the world was busy with more mundane things.

After a long while, they pulled apart a bit and Taehyung meekly said:

T: “Jungkook…”

Ju: “Yeah?”

T: “Your kissing skills at the beginning.”

With his hands around Jungkook, this time Taehyung could actually feel Jungkook’s aura turn into flames before Jungkook roughly pulled the back of Taehyung’s head and kissed him passionately, with improved technique.

By the end of the fiery kiss, they both realized that, whenever they would get to the next level of intimacy, it will be so intense they might combust in the process. Either that or their brains would melt.

So for now they decided to take things easy and chill on a park bench, as Jungkook contemplated skipping school for the first time in his life and Taehyung fell deep into his own thoughts.

Ju: “Not that I want to be the most controlling boyfriend ever, but what are you thinking about?”

T: “About what you said earlier. The vicious cycle thing. About other people’s opinions making us see ourselves in a certain way. That we become that way and cause even more people to see us that way. Jimin mentioned once that his middle school classmates kept teasing him for being ugly. I’m wondering if that’s what caused him to have such an extreme negative opinion about himself. I know for sure Jimin’s opinion of himself made him act a bit weird, which made others see him as weird and only worsened his opinion of himself. It’s such a two-way street between how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you. It’s a really dangerous place to be.”

Ju: “Luckily, there are things like love and friendship that can make things go smoothly on that street.”

T: “Yeah, but if you don’t love yourself, you’re not likely to get others to love you and if others don’t even like you, you’re not likely to like yourself much. It’s kinda a chicken or the egg thing.”

Ju: “Not really. Jimin’s opinion of himself was really bad, but we started liking him. And I can name a few people who love themselves a lot but no one else around them feels the same. It’s not really a binary situation and equivalency doesn’t have a place here either, since many times quality matters more than quantity. So it’s still good that we, ourselves, can juggle a lot of things at will and still have control over it. You feel me?”

T: “Except for the last part, I feel like I’m talking to someone ten years older than me.”

Ju: “Like I said – Some people have unrealistic expectations of me while others underestimate me.” Jungkook said, throwing his legs over Taehyung’s and spinning around to wrap his arms over his shoulders. “What are YOU gonna do?”

T: “Uhm… It’s not a binary situation and… I’ll just let you reveal yourself along the way.”

Ju: “Taehyung. With answers like that you’re really gonna be stuck with me till I’m ten years older.”

T: “I hope I’m stuck with you till you’re a hundred.”

They smiled and kissed, not knowing then that Taehyung’s wish would be granted almost to the letter.

What they also didn’t know then was that Taehyung’s parents would pass by the park and see them, which led to Taehyung confessing what had happened to his parents and Jungkook getting invited for a picnic-lunch during the weekend.

That evening, Jimin dropped by Taehyung’s place and stood in front of the door for nearly a minute before he worked up the courage to ring the doorbell. It was Taehyung who opened the door and got surprised by seeing Jimin there, especially since that was Taehyung’s first time seeing Jimin’s fully uncovered face, as he was too preoccupied with other things when Jimin first came to school like that.

T: “Jimin?”

J: “Hey, Tae. Uhm, I’m… really sorry fo-umph.”

Jimin couldn’t finish what he had come there to say, because Taehyung suddenly enveloped him in a bone crunching hug and, for the first time, Jimin felt like not being able to breathe was pretty nice.

T: “Uhm, Jimin?”

J: “Yeah?”

T: “I know if I say this it’s gonna bother you but, since this is the first time I’m seeing you without any kind of fabric over your face, I gotta say – you look really handsome!”

J: “Thanks, Tae.” Jimin said smiling and, to Taehyung’s surprise, looking like he genuinely accepted that kind of compliment without contradicting it in his mind.

Jimin did not believe he was handsome, but he allowed himself to believe that, if Taehyung could see something that would make him give that kind of compliment sincerely, then there truly must be something there that’s good.

Jimin had been roped into having dinner with Taehyung’s family that evening but, before that, he felt the need to apologize to his friend’s parents for the situation their son was currently in:

J: “Uhm, I’m really sorry Taehyung got in trouble because of me. I…”

M: “Nonsense, sweetie!” Taehyung’s mother said, coming up to wrap her arms around Jimin. “This is in no way your fault and it’s good that Tae intervened. I didn’t raise a son who would just stand by while his friends are in trouble.”

T: “So how about revoking my punishment then?”

M: “Nope. Because I also didn’t raise a son who would resort to violence so easily. Your punishment still stands.”

J: “What is your punishment?”

T: “I have to help them plant trees.”

J: “Oh, well that’s not so bad.”

T: “My quota is 200 trees.”

J: “Oh, wow! Can I help?”

M: “Awww, isn’t he just the sweetest ever?!” Taehyung’s mother said, showing Jimin where Taehyung had gotten his way of hugging from.

F: “You’re free to tag along if you want to, Jimin, but Tae’s quota won’t decrease no matter how many trees you plant.”

T: “Why are you being so strict about this? You didn’t seem to care much about me getting suspended.”

F: “Getting suspended is just a black mark on your school records. But being violent towards someone else leaves a black mark on that person, physically, emotionally and mentally. You need to learn to never underestimate the impact of such an action. A lot of the violence that takes place in regular day life happens because attackers don’t think or care about the consequences of their actions and see what they do as not a big deal.”

M: “And that happens especially since most of the violence that takes place is not in the form of a direct physical assault. People hurt each other verbally and psychologically a lot but, just because it doesn’t bleed, doesn’t mean it’s not leaving a scar. In your case recently, even if you didn’t actually injure that classmate of yours, just imagine what it must have felt like getting chocked. It must have been scary. That’s why, even though you think that what you did wasn’t such a big deal, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t.”

F: “Besides, if we let this one slide just because your reason was just, your takeaway from all of this will be that violence is an acceptable solution and you won’t bother to try thinking of better solutions next time you’re faced with such a situation. Understand, Tae?”

T: “I understand.”

J: “But, but… I saw Taehyung getting provoked and angry many times and he still kept his cool, so this, uhm…”

M: “Aww, look at you two! Standing up for each other in times of oppression. You inherited some good taste in people, Tae.”

T: “I know.” Taehyung said, looking really proud, before they all decided to start having dinner.

The next morning, Taehyung could finally come back to school and the very first thing on his agenda was talking to Jimin:

T: “I have something to tell you that I really didn’t wanna bring up with my parents there last night.”

J: “What is it?”

Taehyung told Jimin about the recent development with Jungkook and Jimin was beyond happy for his friend, even though he knew things would turn out like that eventually.

J: “I have something to tell you too.”

T: “What?”

J: “I signed up for a dance competition.”

T: “WHOOO!” Taehyung shouted, shooting up from his seat with his fists in the air and knocking over both his chair and desk in the process.

The teacher walked in right then and asked Taehyung if he hated coming back to school so much that he was in a hurry to do something that would get him suspended again, but Taehyung just replied:

T: “Hate? There is no hate. I’m so happy right now that I don’t care if I have to plant 1000 trees!”

Nobody understood what Taehyung meant aside from Jimin, who did his best to contain his laughter behind the palm of his hand.

Following the very emotional talk with Yoongi, Jimin decided to take risks. His transitioning process might have looked easy to someone on the outside, but it was achingly close to torture, or at least that was how he felt it.

Over a period of several months, his face mask had come to provide comfort and safety, which he discarded when he started walking around with his face exposed. For reference, it was similar to someone walking around with an exposed hairy , a big belly hanging over their belt, a vomit-covered shirt or extremely dirty hair. He felt his flaw would automatically draw everyone’s attention and he felt harshly judged now more than ever. He felt vulnerable every second and it was suffocating to the point that Jimin thought he might faint.

However, he pushed himself every morning to walk out of his house without the face mask on and make it through the day without feeling shame. Because he had people he cared about and who saw a lot of good in him despite his appearance, so it felt unjust towards them to devalue what they cherished just because it was hidden under a very unsightly hood. So Jimin continuously reminded himself to not ignore the good parts of him and carry himself as if he was proud of them.

And Yoongi had been right about loving yourself even more after overcoming small but difficult challenges. Every time Jimin managed to get from A to B with a straight back and without hanging his head or averting his eyes from people, he felt a sense of accomplishment that made him want to do it again and made it easier the following time.

By the time the dance competition started, Jimin had gotten accustomed to holding his head high and taking in whatever view of the world that stance provided. However, he couldn’t just magically transform into a confident person and he was not out of the woods yet.

In the large crowd that had gathered to watch the dancers competing one after the other, Taehyung’s nerves were rattling so much Jungkook and Yoongi felt like he was going to cause an earthquake.

T: “Aaaaah, I’m so nervous! What if he trips cause he’s blindfolded and not used to this stage? What if he falls? What if he’s nervous? Should I text him again? But I don’t wanna disturb him if he’s trying to focus. I should’ve brought a horseshoe or something. Or a rabbit foot. Why couldn’t I think of this earlier? Damn it!”

Y: “Taehyung, pretend you’re not yourself for a moment and chill.”

T: “Is it too late to go search for a four leaf clover?”

Y: “Way too late.”

Ju: “Here. Take this.” Jungkook said, offering his hand to Taehyung and making him looked puzzled. “Because of my front teeth, they used to call me bunny-rabbit when I was little so… it’s not quite a rabbit foot, but it’s close enough.”

Taehyung looked at Jungkook for a few seconds before taking his hand and finally calming down. They were both trying to contain their smiles while facing the stage, when Taehyung squeezed the hand he held to silently tell Jungkook something that made him smile wider.

Yoongi was on the verge of teasing them for that display of affection when the music suddenly stopped and he realized Jimin’s performance followed right after the next dancer took the stage. Taehyung’s nerves must have transferred to him, because he became so restless he couldn’t stand still and disappeared to search for Jimin backstage, even if just to get a look at his face.

To his horror, he couldn’t find him anywhere so he ran to the bathroom and checked under every stall till he found one in which someone apparently sat on the floor. Yoongi entered the stall next to it, stepped on the toilet seat and reached over the thin wall between the two stalls only to see –

Y: “Jimin!”

Jimin looked up with teary eyes that went wide when he saw Yoongi and even wider when Yoongi jumped over the wall and landed in front of Jimin.

Y: “What are you doing? You’re up any minute now.”

J: “I can’t do it, Yoongi. I’m sorry, but I can’t do it. There’ll be so many eyes watching me, so many people judging… I don’t wanna go there in front of them. I’m too afraid.”

Y: “Listen, Jimin!” Yoongi said with a raised voice and grabbing Jimin by the shoulders with a strong grip. “They don’t know you and they have no expectation of you. You’re in complete control over the impression of you that you create for them and you’re gonna make them gawk in awe because you can. And, even if they try to boo you off stage, I’ll cheer for you loud enough to cover up all of their voices.”

Right then loud cheers erupted following the last dancer’s performance and they could be heard well even inside that bathroom, so Yoongi shouted:

Y: “Louder than that.”

J: “You’re gonna lose your voice one day.”

Y: “It’ll be worth if my message gets through to you.”

J: “It already has.” Jimin said, standing up while wiping away his tears, then smiling at Yoongi. “Let’s go.”

Jimin left the bathroom with a lot of determination in his step and he walked like that till the center of the stage where he took a good look at the audience before putting his blindfold on. The music started and Jimin’s body followed its variations and nuances while his mind completely forgot that there was a competition going on, that there was an audience and that there was a body with an ugly face Jimin was trapped inside. There was no body, there was just and extension of the self and the emotions within him. There was no exposing, there was just expression.

Yoongi didn’t have time to make it back to where Taehyung and Jungkook were, especially with the ankle he had sprained after jumping, so he watched Jimin’s performance from backstage. It was breathtaking as usual, or maybe even more so.

When Jimin was done and had started walking off the stage towards him, Yoongi quickly tried pulling himself back together to at least congratulate Jimin on his performance, because Taehyung had taken over the cheering louder than anyone duty, but he couldn’t manage to get even one syllable out before Jimin grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a more secluded corner where he hugged Yoongi tightly and for a very long time, only saying:

J: “Thank you, Yoongi.”

Jimin got second place in that competition, but he looked happier and prouder than the winner. After all, Jimin had not only one a prize in a competition, he had won pride in himself in a battle with his own worst enemy, which was himself.

Yoongi got to see Jimin’s smile way more after that, not that he ever felt it was enough. For one thing, Jimin’s face mask wasn’t in the way anymore, he even forgot to bring with him for emergencies on many occasions. Other than that, Jimin was more at peace with himself, accepting of the fact that he had flaws because he had acknowledged there were also good things about him and he focused on growing and polishing those.

Jimin still hung out with Yoongi a lot in the music room, giving his input on Yoongi’s compositions and generally talking about all sorts of things, but the music room wasn’t a place he was pushed into by the outside world anymore. He didn’t go there to hide and breathe. He went there because it was his special place with Yoongi.

The two of them were in the music room one day, when Yoongi said:

Y: “Saw you having lunch with Taehyung today. When did you start doing that?”

J: “The day after Tae got suspended. It was kinda weird at first, but you know what? Food’s awesome.”

Y: “Congrats on discovering something even babies know.”

J: “Joke all you want, but babies might actually be wiser than us in a way.”

Y: “How so?”

J: “They know they’re supposed to be loved and not treated badly. Somewhere along the way, some of us start thinking the opposite.”

Y: “Do you think the opposite?”

J: “No, not anymore. I’ve re-learned that it’s not right for me or others to treat myself badly and, as I’m regaining control over my life again, I’m starting to like myself and treat myself accordingly. I’m also able to believe in the idea of others liking me too. Love’s a bit far-fetched, but I shouldn’t get too greedy anyway.”

Y: “Why is love far-fetched?”

J: “I mean the romantic kind of love. It’s hard to imagine having a nice high school love story and it’s a bit of a shame.”

Y: “Why would you not have that kind of story?”

J: “Well, even if I and others can accept me the way I am, it’s not likely that someone would wanna kiss someone who looks like me for example.”

Y: “I would.” Yoongi said approaching Jimin who remained still and speechless.

Yoongi came up till he was right in front of Jimin and paused for a bit, looking for any signs of rejection in Jimin’s eyes and demeanor. There weren’t any, so Yoongi brought one hand up to caress the side of Jimin’s face and slowly came closer to kiss Jimin softly. Had Yoongi felt the faintest urge to back away in Jimin, he would have stopped what he was doing, but Jimin grabbed onto the side of Yoongi’s shirt and came the tiniest bit closer, so Yoongi saw no reason for stopping.

Jimin had grown accustomed to the idea that Yoongi was a strange person. He understood people better than they understood themselves, he consoled people by yelling at them and he, apparently, had very odd tastes when it came towards someone’s appearance. By this point, Jimin not only no longer got shocked by Yoongi’s unexpected sides, he also felt an increasing amount of affection towards each one of them. So Jimin kissed back and let himself enjoy the wonderfulness of the moment.

They slowly pulled apart and smiled at each other before the music teacher came in and told them to go home so he could lock the room and leave.

A few days later, before he was supposed to meet Yoongi in the music room, Jimin went to the bathroom and, as he was washing his hands, thought that maybe he should check his hair in the mirror and fix it if needed. That might have seemed easy for most people, but Jimin had avoided mirrors completely for several months in order to not remind himself of his appearance, so he got cold feet and gave up on the idea.

Noticing how his fear had kept him from doing something that would have objectively benefited him, Jimin decided it was time to fight this battle as well, so he quickly raised his head to look into the mirror.

What he saw there made him scream, walk back and fall to the floor.

Yoongi had walked past the bathroom door right when Jimin let out a loud scream and he went in to check what had happened, panicking a bit when he saw Jimin on the floor with trembling hands trying to inspect his face.

Y: “Jimin. What happened?”

J: “My-m-my face… I-It-it changed…”

Y: “It did?”

Jimin crawled on his hands and knees till he reached the sink, grabbed onto the edge of it and, after taking a sharp, deep breath, pushed against the edge of the sink to bring himself in standing position and take another look at the mirror. However, the mirror was still showing him the image of himself without the swelling, the warts and the chapped, brown lips. His hand tapped the side of his face that had previously taken up larger proportions to check if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but the shape he felt under his fingertips matched the one he saw in the mirror. He opened his mouth to see if his teeth were decayed, he tilted and rotated his head to further inspect, but there was no indication that he had looked the way he had seen himself for nearly a year.

J: “I-I-I-I don’t get it… How’d my face change back?”

Y: “Change… back?”

J: “Yoongi, when did I start looking like this?”

Y: “Since… you took off the mask?”

J: “I mean under the mask!”

Y: “How should I know? I didn’t know you before high school and I didn’t get to see your face till that time in the nurse’s office. You look the same as back then, except a bit healthier.”

J: “That’s impossible…” Jimin said in disbelief, knowing that he had looked like a monster at that point at least because he had not yet started completely avoiding mirrors. “What the hell’s happening to me?”

Yoongi couldn’t answer that question no matter how much he wanted. He didn’t know what was happening, all he knew was that Jimin was switching from agitation to fear, so he decided to grab Jimin’s hand and pull him outside, away from mirrors, and try getting him to calm down.

The high school and its yard were nearly empty, so Yoongi brought Jimin to a bench in that yard, sat him down, told him to take a deep breath of fresh air and tell him at least what he could tell was happening. Jimin described in detail what he thought he looked like since the middle of last year’s summer, when he decided to avoid mirrors or reflective surfaces like the plague and the shock and confusion he felt when he had just seen his face in the mirror a little while ago, which was a face Jimin had thought he would never see again.

Yoongi couldn’t believe it, but he knew Jimin was not making any of it up by how affected he seemed and by how well this explained Jimin’s crooked view of himself. Yoongi decided to take every word he heard as the truth but he had a hard time deciding if he should tell Jimin the truth or not. Ultimately, he chose the first option and said:

Y: “Jimin, you’re gonna find this hard to believe and it may upset you in ways I can’t really predict, but… your exterior never changed. If you looked how you described the face you saw in the mirror, some things would have been noticeable even with the face mask, but they weren’t, since your face never looked the way you described it.”

J: “You’re lying!”

Y: “Do you really think I’d lie to you?”

J: “You’re just…”

Y: “No, I’m not trying to tell you it was all just in your head. I don’t know where or what it was, but it wasn’t in reality.”

J: “You can’t be telling me that… I went through all of this just… just because I imagined something that wasn’t there…”

Jimin was on the verge of tears and, for once, Yoongi was trying to console him without raising his voice one bit. He understood Jimin better now, he understood his anguish more.

Y: “I’m not saying it wasn’t there, just that it wasn’t there in reality. It was in your mind and your mind can alter reality. So when you started focusing your mind on things that were good, your mind altered reality again, at least the way you saw it. I can’t explain it any better, since I don’t really understand what happened either.”

J: “Should I maybe see a psychologist?”

Y: “Maybe.”

J: “I wonder if I’m gonna be able to solve any issues with someone who talks to me calmly about it…”

Y: “Hey.”

They debated possible theories, not reaching any firm conclusion, and Jimin was left to wonder if this change would lead him to more positive or negative things. They exchanged ideas about that for a while, till Yoongi said with a joking tone but a heart that was a bit heavy:

Y: “Well, at least now you’re free to live that nice high school love story you talked about with whoever you want.”

J: “Yeah…”

Yoongi kept his gaze on the ground till Jimin’s hand came to the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss, after which Jimin smiled and clarified:

J: “That would be you.”

Yoongi took that as the truth as well and, as his worries dissipated, he smiled and said:

Y: “I’m glad that you ended up coming through that gate and into this place.”

J: “Yeah, me too. But that reminds me – since you’ve been there each time I cried during this first year of high school, I kinda owe you a lot of paper tissue packs…”

Y: “I’d rather there’d be no need for them… Well except for… you know.” Yoongi said with a cheeky smile.

Jimin laughed because he did know and they kissed again, this time for longer.

And they lived happily ever after. Well, not quite, but close enough.

#LoveYourself   #ENDviolence