Sorry, I didn’t bring your favorite flowers today...

I look back suddenly while locking my door, thinking that someone was with me in the empty hall. It’s been a while since I started hearing things but I’m still not used to it. They’re like voices from somewhere and I can clearly make out what they’re saying. Most of the time it’s a guy who’s telling me that it’s a good day to wake up every morning and sometimes I hear faint tunes playing or somebody singing songs beside me, to be honest, it freaks me out every single time. There are also times when I hear somebody conversing near me but I couldn’t make out what they’re saying. I really don’t want to admit it but I think I’m going crazy.

The voice had long gone once I arrived at the library, its semester break, so I plan to be productive this time and started spending some time in the library near my place. Aside from being productive this break, some regular library goer intrigues me that’s why I choose to study there. I clearly do not know this guy but something in me tells me to approach him and ask him if we know each other or something.

Right after I signed in at the desk, I went straight to the fiction section of the small lib and carefully checked if he’s already there. Like I had predicted, he was already there standing with his back facing me, I can tell that he’s currently reading a book. He’s always like this whenever I see him. I’ve never caught a glimpse of his face yet because he’s always facing the opposite direction when I’m around and when he turns to my direction, it’s either I hide ‘cause I’m shy or something covers my view from where he’s standing. That has been the cycle ever since I saw him, who would be intrigued by that?

I sighed to myself when he started walking away without turning to my direction. Remembering the main reason why I’m in the library, I started to walk the opposite side of the library and proceed with my agenda for the day.

After getting the stuff that I need I moved towards the table that was placed meters away from where he was sitting. I have been observing him for quite some time now and he always chooses that spot. I can help but think that he must be an introvert who doesn’t want to be disturbed. That’s just how my day goes.

At around 3:30 pm I noticed that he already starting to fix his things and was preparing to leave so I hurriedly gather up my things to hoping that I could join him in returning the books at the desk. Unfortunately, like any other day, I wasn’t able to catch up. By the time I reached the desk he already returned all his books and he was already walking out of the library. I can’t but pout, feeling slightly disappointed, again.

It’s always like this every single day as if it’s a never-ending cycle.

And so here I am again at the library, sitting somewhere close to where he always sits hoping that he’ll go here later and this might be the day that I will finally catch sight of his face. While reading some lectures from the books that I got, someone dragged a chair from a corner, making me turn back to the table that I was watching earlier.

I was shocked.

Finally!

After a long, long, long time, I, Shin Minji finally saw his side profile! It feels like this was the greatest achievement that I have ever achieve all throughout my 19 years of my existence.

I could feel my face burning up because his side profile was too much for my poor little heart. I turned away the moment he sat on his chair and tried to calm my racing heart. I can already tell that this guy’s very good looking, plus seeing him spending his time in a library, every day, could instantly win any heart of those around him. You can barely see guys spending their precious time hanging around the library reading some fiction books these days. ‘This guy’s a great catch’, I thought to myself.

Brushing off that idea out of my head, I turned back to my notes and started to focus on them again but sadly I failed. His fox-like features kept on popping inside my head, I feel so hot every time it happens. I also find myself glancing secretly at him from time to time and it’s making me feel like a creep.

Even though we don’t know

When our last will be

Even if something happens

And we can’t see each other

Lean on me

The voice suddenly started singing. My mood was suddenly spoiled because he was obviously sad while singing the song. I feel like his emotions were pouring inside of me too. It was just plain sadness. I was suddenly longing for something but I can’t tell what or who it is. I dropped my pen down on the table and lowered my head because tears were threatening to fall down.

After the day that I finally saw his side profile I kept on getting a glimpse of it almost every day in the library. Although there are still days were his glorious back is facing me. I’m starting to like his back too, seriously.

This time it seems like we’re the only ones in the library and all sort of thoughts are flooding my mind now. I couldn’t concentrate at all so I ended up going to the fiction section and started browsing the books lined up in front of me, hoping that they would distract me.

Minji…

I thought I heard someone call my name so I turned around to look if there was someone who knew me hanging around me too in the library. To my surprise, Mr. Bookworm was standing just feet away from me, I hurriedly turn to the opposite direction so he won’t notice me looking at him earlier. My heart started pounding so hard inside of me, making it hard for me to breath. ‘Was it him? Did he really call me just now? But how did he know my name? Did I drop something,’ all these thoughts came running through my mind, when I slowly tried to look back at him I realized that he was long gone. I exhaled hard and felt my knees weaken.

‘These darn voices will be the end of me,’ I thought.

‘Today is the day,’ I said to myself. Like any other day, the voice woke me up again. Compared to before I didn’t mind the voice this time, I was more than grateful because it woke me up. Last night, I was contemplating whether to approach Mr. Library-goer today or just leave him a note on the table that he occupies. I ended up writing a letter late that night, just in case I chicken out when I saw him again today.

While I was taking a shower, I found myself humming to the tune that the voice had sung sometime before. I froze on my spot and felt shivers down my spine. I tried to erase it from my mind because I do not want anything to spoil my mood right now. Getting depressed was one of the things that I must prevent right now.

After spending a good hour in the bathroom and half an hour in front of the mirror, I decided that I’m finally ready to face Mr. Library-goer. “Alright, let’s do this,” I uttered to myself.

So here I am standing exactly a meter away from mystery guy, my right hand placed on my chest feeling my racing heartbeat and my left hand clutching the letter inside my shoulder bag. Mr. Library-goer was sitting in a corner of the library. He was facing the window keeping himself away from the people around him.

Mustering up all my courage, I took a step forward. I tell that my face’s turning red, my head spinning, and my heart so hard that anytime it would jump out of my rib cage. I was so nervous while approaching him, but deep inside of me I think I have felt this way before. There was a sense of familiarity in everything, the way I was dressed, the way he is seated on that chair, weird but even the rays of the sun pouring out of the window, it seems like this has happened before.

Careful with my steps I was just an arm away from him. ‘This is really it,’ I thought to myself, inhaling deeply not wanting to exhale ever again.

Wonwoo…

Everything seemed to stop like there was a switch that turned off everything in my head when I heard the voice calling out someone else. My nervousness was gone like it never happened.

Wonwoo.

As if I had said it out loud, the person I was approaching turned to look at me. I can clearly see his face right now. Not side profile or whatever, I was looking straight into his eyes now. His hair, his glasses, the way he looked at me, everything was just like how we first met. I finally remember all of it now.

Suddenly, I didn’t have the courage to face him anymore, I turned my back at him and started to walk away. All I can think of right now was to get out of this place immediately.

I do not know what was happening. Everything that just happened for the past few weeks was a replay of how we first met. From the day that I first saw him, the times that I secretly stalked him within the library premises and up until the time that I finally have the courage to approach him. Yes, I did approach him, but I still don’t know how all of this happened. What is happening? Why am I here? How did this happen?

I was too occupied that I didn’t notice that I was already crossing the street. Suddenly I heard him shouting my name.

“Minji!!”

“Wonwoo,” I whispered turning to look at him, my eyes filled with tears. His face was in pure horror as he looks back at me and the speeding car towards me... that was when I realized that it was already too late.

“She’s moving!”

The room was suddenly filled with noise when they heard the ECG machine started to produce slow beeping sounds again. The doctors were about to declare her death when her sister noticed her fingers twitching and her trying to open her eyes.

The doctors run a few tests on her and confirmed that she is really alive. They were all worried when her heartbeat stopped for a really long time, but they were glad that she isn’t dead. After quite sometime when they said that her vitals were stable they allowed them to gather beside her again.

“Minji-ah…”

Wonwoo was the first one to approach her, “Shin Minji. Can you hear me?” he carefully held her hand and kissed her knuckles, “It’s me Wonwoo. Thank you for coming back to us. I thought we were gonna lose you forever.” He hiccupped, he didn’t try to hide his tears, Minji’s sister started to cry too when she heard Wonwoo sobbing. The room was silent, the only thing you can hear was the sobbing and the beeping of the machine.

Minji weakly squeezed Wonwoo’s hand, making him look up at him. He looked at her and noticed a tear fall down her cheeks. He also noticed that she was trying to communicate with him so he leaned his ear towards her. Even though her voice wasn’t still audible Wonwoo was able to make out what she was trying to say.

“I’m… finally back…. Sorry… to keep you waiting…”