The air reeked of coffee and apprehension. Students with disheveled hair and worried gazes marched through the hallways as pre-exam jitters were at an all-time high. Meanwhile, something else entirely was tugging on one boy’s mind.

“I just don’t know what I keep doing wrong.” Daehwi complains as Jihoon frantically mumbles something from the millennial pink notebook he was holding tightly.

“Acid-catalyzed dehydration of cyclohexanol leads to the formation of cyclohexane...” Jihoon chants with his eyes closed, as if caught in some kind of ritual.

“...further addition of dibromide leads to - HEY!” the boy exclaims as he realizes the notebook has been snatched from his clutches.

“I’m sorry. I can’t stand being ignored by my best friend...” Daehwi announces.

“and it’s cyclohexENE, not hexANE. There’s a double bond right there, see?”

Jihoon’s cheeks flush as he realizes his mistake, “You know organic chemistry isn’t my strong suit.”

Daehwi cups the skittish boy’s head in his hands.

“No, but what I DO know is that my best friend, Park Jihoon, is the smartest boy in this school. He just has a bad habit of psyching himself out before exams.”

“Second smartest, you mean?”

“That’s debatable. Anyway, we covered all the chapters in our book last night, Jigglypuff. Cheer up, I know for a fact you’re gonna do amazing.” Daehwi rocks Jihoon’s head in encouragement.

Jihoon melts into his best friend, caging him in the tightest embrace.

“Now, what was that you were talking about again?”

-----

Director Ong’s feedback still lingered in Daehwi’s mind.

“I need to see more passion.” he said.

Passion

The single word that sent Daehwi into a state of both confusion and certainty.

“I just don’t know what I keep doing wrong.” Daehwi tells Jihoon.

Yet he knew exactly what it was, why he couldn’t kiss Mina in the way Director Ong wanted to.

Passion. It was something that couldn’t be faked, something that had to come from deep inside you. Daehwi could write a whole musical, memorize the periodic table of elements, singlehandedly destroy someone in a debate, but he knew passion wasn’t something that you could create a concept map for or cram overnight. He hated that word so much, how it was so strong of an emotion that it almost felt tangible.

Jihoon could see the trouble in Daehwi’s eyes. He grabs both his best friend’s hands and gives them the tightest squeeze.

“Well, if director Ong wants to see passion, then I say give it to him. In that moment, it’s just you and Mina on the stage right? Instead of thinking of kissing her, I want you to envision someone else. Who would you rather stand alone on that stage with? Who is your passion, Lee Daehwi?”

Daehwi loathed how he knew the exact answer to that question.

Passion for Daehwi was an oversized crimson hoodie, round spectacles and an electric green beanie. Passion had porcelain white skin and smelled of fresh shampoo. Passion was ten-meters across the hallway, heading towards him and Jihoon.

Passion was six-feet tall.

 

Lai Guanlin wore the silliest grin on his face as he approached.

“Alkene synthesis sure is something, huh? Come on, bozos, let’s get to class.” he puts his arms over both boys’ shoulders as they charge through the hallway.

-----

Daehwi owes it to fate that he and Guanlin got to meet each other again. He was only six years old when he and his mother moved to LA. It was a dark time for Daehwi, his dad just passed away and he had to leave all his friends back home. His mother was all he had, and even she had a full-time job, meaning Daehwi had to spend most days alone.

His favorite place was this cul-de-sac near their house that was surrounded by maple trees, one having a tire swing that Daehwi loved to play with. Every autumn, the maple trees would shed, filling the entire cul-de-sac in a sea of red and orange leaves. It was a sight Daehwi always marveled at. He would roll around in the leaves all day, thinking he was drowning in his own personal sunset.

Daehwi loved the sunset. When he was even younger, his dad would take him out on his bike every afternoon, and they would ride all over the neighborhood until the sky was tinted orange. By then they would come back home and play board games on their porch until orange fades into a deep blue.

One day, as Daehwi was eagerly walking to the cul-de-sac, he notices an old man taking down the tire swing he loved so much. Daehwi stops in his tracks as large beads of tears form at the corners of his eyes.

“I’m sorry”, the voice of a small boy emerging from the pile of leaves startles Daehwi. He thought nobody else was there.

“That’s my dad. He thinks that swing isn’t safe so he took it down.” the boy’s eyes started welling up too as soon as he saw Daehwi in tears.

“I could tell how much that swing meant to you. I see you playing with it almost everyday.” he says with a quiver.

The boy was right.

The swing meant a lot to Daehwi, more so than he could ever imagine. The cul-de-sac was his safe haven, the only place he could go to and feel like he was back home. The only place where he felt like he wasn’t alone. It was more than just a swing, it was his swing. His sunset. To see someone take it away from him reminded Daehwi of the day his mom fetched him from kindergarten three hours too early, the day she drove to the hospital crying, not saying a single word.

Daehwi had never felt so helpless.

Tears were flowing uncontrollably from his eyes now. Pain was building up inside of his chest and he was about to let out the loudest scream when he felt a tug at his back, followed by the warm embrace of a stranger who would soon be one of the most significant people in Daehwi’s life.

“My name is Guanlin. I’ll be your swing from now on, okay?” the boy who now had a name said as he wiped the tears off Daehwi’s face.

-----

Guanlin was the reason Daehwi was as strong as he was today. There was a quality to him, genuine and carefree - naive almost, that Daehwi always admired. Whether it was chasing the dogs in their neighborhood with a stick or jumping in the pond to get the toy helicopter he and Daehwi crashed, Guanlin would always do so with the same old gummy smile he always had.

They were best friends for five years until Daehwi had to move back home to study. His mom’s decision was so abrupt that they weren’t even given a chance to say goodbye to each other. The day Daehwi left, he couldn’t stop crying.

“What would Guanlin say once he meets me at our place and finds out i’m not there? That we would never get to see each other again?” Daehwi thought on the plane ride back home.

He could never forgive himself for the way he left. He thought he had abandoned Guanlin, and yet here they are five more years later, sitting in the same classroom. Daehwi saw this as a gift from God. The fact that their paths were able to cross once again meant something to him, and this time, he wasn’t going to let him slip away.

The school bell rings and Daehwi stands up from his chair. As the class president, he was responsible for taking attendance. He scans the room and sees one more vacant seat other than his. He glances at the class list to see who wasn’t there yet.

“B-Bae Jinyoung?”, he announces.

 “Anyone here who’s friends with Bae Jinyoung?”, he looks up to the class only to see shocked gazes toward the doorway.

 

Daehwi turns and sees a boy in a black shirt dripping in sweat.