“Jaebeom, you can’t just leave.”

“There is nothing else I can do. Everyone I look at, I can see the hate in them. Whenever I look at the rest of 2pm, I can see the pain.”

“You can’t just leave. Your life has just started. Our lives have just started.”

“Sohee, our life will always be together, but at this moment, I need time.”

She didn’t look at him. She held this small blanket in her arms.

Jae approached her and slightly touched the soft fabric.

“This blanket is a blanket my mom gave to me. It’s the blanket I cried into every night when I missed her. It’s the blanket I slept with every single day. I want you to have it. I want you to sleep with it whenever you miss me.”

“Then I will sleep with it every day until you come back to me.”

Jae chuckled at her innocence. He gave her a final goodbye and a kiss on her forehead. As he walked out of the JYP studio, he took a last look to see that Sohee crying openly while memorizing her last image of him.

He whispered, “Mianhe” and walked away.

Jaebeom entered the apartment that he shares with 2pm. A gloominess filled the air. Everyone was sitting in the living room with stillness. Wooyoung covered himself with a blanket, but it couldn’t cover his deep sobs. Jae walked with his head down into his room. He didn’t notice how everyone watched him. Taecyeon wiped Chansung’s tears and silently told him to be strong. Junho followed Jae into the room and shut the door.

“Jae, don’t leave,” Junho pulled on his arms.

“Junho, you don’t understand. You don’t understand the guilt I feel. The shame I had bought upon everyone. No one understands what I am going through.” Jaebeom yelled with his back still turned from Junho.

“Jae, I will give you my bed. I will give you my big bed. I’ll even give you my shoes. These things are just materials. Jae, you are my leader. You are my friend. You are a person I cherish. You can’t just leave because of a mistake you did YEARS ago.”

“It’s a mistake I should have never done. No matter how tired I was, no matter stupid I was I should have never done it. Korea is not gay. Korea…is my life. Korea is the place where I met so many amazing people. It’s the place I can call my home. It’s my nation. It’s a place I am proud of. I dishonor it by calling it gay.”

Jaebeom threw his luggage on the floor and started to fill it up with his clothes. Junho kept grabbing it and throwing it into his own closet.

“You can have my closet. I can sleep on the floor. I can sleep in the living room. Just stay, Jae. Please stay. I’ll beg.”

Junho got on his knees and grabbed Jae’s leg. He kept pulling on it. His tears trickled onto Jae’s foot as he wept.

“I have to pack.” Jae said with a weak voice.

Junho opened the door. He wiped his tears and said, “Even when you leave, you are a part of 2pm. More than that, you are our brother.”

As the door closed, Jae collapsed on Junho’s bed. He cried on the pillow.

“This bed is comfortable, but my problems wouldn’t disappear because of it.”

He got up and finished his packing.

Jae went to the living room to say his goodbyes to everyone.

As he opened the door, everyone stared wide eye at him, waiting for a response that they all had hoped for.

“I’m leaving.”

Pure silence blew upon them until Wooyoung jumped off the couch.

“NO!!!!”

“Wooyoung, nothing can change my decision.”

“Jae, I’ll hate you forever if you don’t stay.”

“Don’t be childish.” Jae strongly said.

“I don’t care. You are my brother and that means that you can’t leave me or leave us.”

Jae was quiet. He looked at everyone who nodded in silence.

“I have to go.”

“No one died. You don’t have to go back. You’re life is here.”

“No one died…I died emotionally. The guilt is slowly killing me. I can’t smile anymore. A fake smile seems always pop up now a days. I don’t feel like myself. I just can’t do it any longer.”

“JAE…” Wooyoung screamed.

“NO!” Jae couldn’t take it anymore.

With no other words, the guys all piled into the van. No words were spoken. Jae’s eye glued to the scenery, capturing the beauty that may dissolve from his memory. His hands and shoulder occupied with love. Wooyoung and Chansung both are holding Jae’s hand, and the rest of the guys laid their hands on his shoulders.

The airport was filled with fans. Jae quickly read some signs. “Jaebeom, don’t leave” “7-1=0.” Tears threatened to invade his strong stance.

Nichkhun saw his vulnerability and said, “Do you see that, do you hear that? They don’t want you to go. Time is what you need, but it isn’t necessary to leave the group and leave Korea.”

“An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind is what everyone has been saying to me. Leaving won’t solve anything. It will just cause more pain. MORE PAIN. Khun, my heart is in pain. What more do I have to suffer with? Everything we had together will always be there, but this moment on, I need to be there for myself.”

“Then let me give this advice to you, the past may hurt, but you can either run from it... Or learn from it, the choice is up to you.”

Nichkhun patted Jae on the shoulders. Jae brought his attention to everyone.

“Guys…I think this is it. I don’t know when the next time I will see you guys, but everything has been amazing. I know that I found lifelong brothers, a family that will always be there for me.

Junho, you are the brother who always try his best. The younger brother who just makes me wants to help you all the way.
Taecyeon, you are the brother who had helped me when I had problems whether it was with the culture, language, or anything that just displeased me.
Junsu, you are the brother I was always jealous of. You have the voice and the confidence that I could never find in myself.
Chansung, you are the brother who made me laugh all the time. When I was upset, you would cheer me up with your goofiness.
Nichkhun, you are the brother that I could never hate. Your kindness and your uplifting words got me through anything.
Wooyoung, you are just my brother. You are the brother who held me when this first happened.
2PM, our lives are changing whether for the best or the worst. Our lives are changing. From this day on, I will no longer be part of 2PM. This day will no longer have 7 people who brought the hottest day, but only 6 strong people. These 6 people are my brothers. These people are the best, and I love you guys.”

Tears fell from everyone’s eyes. The redness in the eyes and the deep sobbing filled the entrance.

“This is goodbye.”

All the 2PM hugged Jae, but Wooyoung wouldn’t let go.

“You have to let go, Wooyoung.”

“I don’t want to. If I let you that means you will leave. I won’t be able to see you when I wake up. I won’t be able to hear you when you sing in the shower. I won’t be able to make fun of you when you say something wrong. I won’t be able to be with you.” Wooyoung sobbed on Jae’s shoulder.

“Wooyoung, you can always call me. I will be a phone call away.”

“But you won’t be a body away. I won’t be able to touch you.”

“You sound erted. Please…”

Wooyoung finally let go. Jae walked through the sliding doors, leaving the people he lived with for the past 4 years. The people he had called his brothers. He couldn’t look at them. His throat was already closing. He entered the building without a glance back, a glance to see Wooyoung collapsed. 2PM was being lost in the sea of fans, in the sea of disappointment.

He walked passed the fans. He couldn’t look them in the eyes. He would slightly peek at the fans and their signs. He mentally slapped himself when he did. He saw hundreds of fans in tears. A couple of girls even chased him crying kajima. Girls were giving him fan letters, and he gladly accepted. He gave the worker his passport. A nervousness approached him because he knew what to do.

He turned towards the fans and gave them a final goodbye.

Jaebeom entered the airplane and found his seat. He caved in the seat, and his head fell onto his hands. His tears finally fell. The 4 hard years he worked for has vanished. The people he had loved and the memories he had gained is being left in Korea. He is leaving the life he had lived for 4 years.

The passengers ignored the weeping that Jae was doing. They could feel the sorrow he was suffering.

Jae felt a light blanket being laid on his shoulders. He lifted his head to see his favorite blanket on him. He saw a beauty he had already missed.

Sohee

“I knew that if you were by yourself you will feel just horrible and cry. You should never cry by yourself. I am the shoulder you can cry on.” Sohee gave his a big smile.

“Thanks, Sohee. Are you actually riding this plane?” Jae was in disbelief.

“Yes, I want to be on this journey with you.”

“What journey?” He was confused.

“Finding yourself. Finding your way back into 2PM. Finding your way back into the hearts of the fans.”

Jae gave a light laugh

“You know me a little too well. You know that

.

.

.

I just need time.”



재범 돌아와줘