DREAMIN; (Jaebum)

Im Jaebum had always known that his girlfriend was smarter than him.

It was something that he had been aware of even before he started dating her, considering that Park Miran was having a panic attack in the corner of their Economics class the first time they had met. It was an end-term exam and she was trembling in her seat, fingers clutching at handfuls of her dark hair. He’d found the sight of the panicked freshman girl mildly amusing and had sat next to her on a whim.

“Nervous?” Jaebum remembered asking, as he opened his bag to take out a pen.

Miran turned to look at him. She would normally have been flustered by the sudden appearance of such a good-looking guy, but her brain was too muddled for her to think  straight. Even the sight of Im Jaebum and his broad shoulders couldn’t distract her in that moment. “I haven’t slept in 36 hours,” she told him bluntly. “I’m going to flunk this exam for sure. It’s going to go on my record and my CGPA will take a nosedive and I’ll be unemployed and poor and lonely for the rest of my life.”

Jaebum let out a small chuckle. “Nah. A girl as pretty as you? You could become a trophy wife.”

Miran gave him a mildly irritated look. “That’s kind of ist.”

“See? Your senses are still working. You’re not completely gone yet. You’ll do fine.” Jaebum reached into his backpack and pulled out a large Red Bull, popping it open before handing it to her. “Here. It’ll wake you up for the exam but don’t blame me if it messes up your sleeping schedule for a couple of days.”

Miran gave him a sideways glance. “Sleeping schedule? What’s that?” she deadpanned as she took a long swig from the drink and winced at the taste. She handed the can back to him gratefully. As the energy drink woke her up slightly, she looked at Im Jaebum properly. “How are you so calm, anyway? Did you manage to finish studying everything?”

Jaebum shrugged as he took the can back. He’d been preparing for this exam for a while and it wasn’t in his nature to panic. “Sure, the syllabus is pretty tough, but I think I’ll pass.”

Their conversation was cut short by their professor entering the room and calling for everyone to put their books away. Jaebum gave Miran one last smile before turning back to his own exam. He briefly wondered if he should have asked for her name, and whether he could catch her after the exam and get her number. But all such thoughts flew out of Jaebum’s mind the moment the professor placed the question paper in front of him and he read the questions.

Well, .

It was only a week later, when the results came out and he realized that he had just barely scraped a passing grade that Im Jaebum regretted not studying harder. Most people had done badly on the test; with the exception of one Park Miran who had gotten a near-perfect score.

“Who the hell is this Park Miran?” he complained to Mark, who was standing next to him. “She’s single-handedly ed up the class’ entire grade curve, why do people like that exist?”

“I’m Park Miran.”

He whirled around and saw her; the panicked girl from the exam except she looked much calmer now. Her hair was more neatly done and fell over her shoulders in a ponytail; her lips painted a light shade of pink as she smiled at him in amusement. Miran’s eyes were twinkling slightly. “It’s the Red Bull guy. Thanks for the drink that day. How did you score?”

Jaebum narrowed his eyes at her playfully. “I wasted my drink on you.”

“Oh?”

“I wouldn’t have shared if I’d known you were going to top the class,” he folded his arms across his chest and looked down at her, a smirk on his face. Miran laughed and hitched her bag up on her shoulder.

“Let me make it up to you, then. I’ll buy you a coffee after class.” She paused and gave him a meaningful look. “If your girlfriend wouldn’t mind.”

Jaebum scoffed lightly. “That can of Red Bull was the closest thing I had to a girlfriend. How about we hit that little café across from the library...?”

Over the next few months, Im Jaebum fell madly in love with everything about Park Miran. She turned into a nervous, irritable wreck during exams and sometimes became unbearable (she had snarled at him once for playing music when she was trying to study) but normally, Miran was sweet and funny. She loved listening to the songs he recommended, knew exactly what advice to offer when something was wrong, and blushed like a tomato whenever he talked dirty to her. Besides, Miran had never once commented on the fact that Jaebum was a 22-year old man who owned three cats. Maybe they both had their own eccentricities.

Park Miran was much smarter than Im Jaebum, but that was one of the things he loved about her.

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“It’s ten weeks. That’s just two and a half months. I’ll be back in no time.”

Miran bit her lip as she tried to hand over the small yelping dog. He wriggled in her arms uncomfortably, before letting out a final bark and leaping out of her arms to run into Jaebum’s kitchen. She watched the little brown dog begin to sniff around suspiciously before biting her lip.

“Maybe this is a bad idea,” she mumbled. She hitched her bag up on her shoulder. “Almond is going to be miserable here, he doesn’t even get along well with your cats. Maybe I should have left him at Yeojung’s instead…”

Jaebum folded his arms across his chest calmly. “You know Yeojung is allergic.”

“Yeah, but-“

“Mark loves dogs. He doesn’t even mind letting Almond sleep in his room. We’ll keep him away from my cats. Don’t you trust me?” Jaebum pressed, unfolding his arms and placing them on her shoulders gently. Miran looked up at Jaebum with wide eyes, a sort of helpless expression in them. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You’re going into panic mode again. We discussed this already. Everything’s taken care of. I already told the ahjumma who comes in to clean to feed Almond every day.”

Miran let out a soft breath. “I know, I don’t know why I’m panicking-“

“You’re just nervous. You’ll do great. They’ll be thanking the heavens that they have you around to handle everything as well as you do.” Jaebum paused and tilted his head with a cheeky smile. “As long as you don’t bite or snarl at anybody.”

Miran glared at him. “That is not funny, oh my god-“

He kissed her to calm her down, his fingers sliding into her hair. Miran let herself fall into his warm embrace. She had a tendency to panic, to get overly sensitive and irritable whenever she was doing something important. But Jaebum’s strong arms around her and his scent calmed her down. She let her heartbeat relax as she snuggled into him.

“Oh my God, I’m going to miss you so much. What if I start panicking when I’m in Busan, what will I do without you?”

Jaebum gave her a deadpan look. “You’re panicking now about what you’re going to do when you panic later?”

Miran shook her head, realizing how stupid she was being. All the same, she felt extremely nervous. Nervous about interning at the main office of a huge company in Busan, nervous that she was going to an unknown city for the first time and most of all, nervous that she wasn’t going to see Jaebum for about two months. “You’ll be okay, right? You promise you’ll keep calling me?” she pressed.

He her hair gently. “Of course. Are you sure you don’t want me to come to the train station?”

Miran sighed to herself. She would have liked Jaebum to come see her off, but she knew it wasn’t the best idea. “Yeah, my Dad is dropping me off and you know he’s been wary of you ever since you got that ear piercing. We should just say goodbye here.”

He chuckled and pressed his forehead to hers. “Okay. Take care, baby. Call me when you get there.”

She nodded. “I will.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Miran frowned at him and suddenly narrowed her eyes, poking him lightly on the chest. “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do if I was here. No going out drinking with Jackson, I don’t trust him. He keeps trying to hook you up with other girls and I don’t like that.”

Jaebum chuckled. “Baby, he’s just joking. He knows I wouldn’t do it.”

“Still, don’t go drinking with him when I’m not here.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And call your mother regularly.”

He laughed. “Oh my god, I will. Get out of here, okay?”

She took a deep breath. “I’ll see you at New Years’.”

“I can’t wait. I love you.”

Miran gave him one last kiss and then leaned down to pet Almond one more time before leaving his apartment. She wondered why it was so hard to leave Jaebum even for a few months. They’d only been dating for about three years, but those three years were enough for her to get so used to having him in her life. Miran couldn’t even remember how she’d managed things before Jaebum was around. Not very well, probably, she told herself.

Either way, she trusted Jaebum. He was responsible and mature, and their relationship was strong enough to handle a couple of months apart. Miran was absolutely positive that these two months would pass by like a flash.

It was what would come afterward that she was worried about.

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“Where did this dog come from?” Jackson demanded, as he leaned down to pet the little brown dog that was sniffing intensely  at his feet. It yelped at his touch and let out a low growl which caused Jackson to hurriedly withdraw his hand. He pulled his legs up from the couch so it couldn’t bite him. “Whoa, whoa. It doesn’t look very happy.”

Jaebum reached across the coffee table to pour more vodka into Jackson’s glass. “It’s Miran’s dog.”

“Hmm. No wonder it doesn’t like me,” Jackson joked, ignoring the snarling dog. It was much too small to pose any real threat and he simply reached over it to grab his vodka glass. Jackson and Miran had never really gotten along; although the dislike was stronger on her side than it was on Jackson’s. She had always seemed to disapprove of him and he wasn’t sure why.

“Why are you dog-sitting, anyway?” Jinyoung wondered.

Jaebum sighed and sank back into the couch. His back was aching from having spent most of the evening in the library, studying for an exam he had next week. Personally, he was miserable and tired and missing his girlfriend. Jaebum would usually have spent his Friday night cuddling with Miran and possibly having but here he was sitting in his apartment with two other guys. “I told you guys before, remember? Miran’s in Busan for two months. She scored a really great internship with one of those foreign accounting firms.”

Jinyoung looked up from his drink, nodding. “I heard about that. Nari-noona applied for an internship with them last year but they rejected her at the interview stage. I hear their selection process is really intense.”

Jackson nearly spit out his vodka. He slammed the glass down on the table and held a hand up in the air. “Whoa, hold it. I thought she was just gone for a few days. Are you telling me that Park Miran is out of town right now? Im Jaebum! Why the hell didn’t you say so earlier, I would have booked us a table at that new strip club that opened downtown. Wait, I still might be able to get us in, let me make a few calls-“

Jaebum let out a small laugh. “And you wonder why my girlfriend doesn’t like you.”

“It’s just for fun, it’s not cheating.”

“I’d like to watch you explain that to Miran. Actually, I’d like to watch you explain that to any girl,” Jinyoung  sounded amused. He never let go of an opportunity to nag any of the others. “The day will come when you want to get into a serious relationship too, Jackson.”

Jackson shrugged. “I’ll just marry a stripper. So that’s a no to the strip club, then?”

“Seriously, Jackson.”

“You guys are the weirdest friends ever,” Jackson slumped back into his seat and dropped his cellphone at  his side. “Do you know most people would want to make use of the fact that their best friend can get them into all the hottest clubs and parties? I’m not kidding. I even got an invite to a celebrity birthday party but you guys don’t care; you’d rather sit here and drink cheap vodka while this stupid dog plots to kill you.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes. “Okay, first of all, the dog only seems to have a problem with you.”

“Besides, wouldn’t it be kind of low of us to ask you for favors all the time and make you pay while we go to expensive places?” Jinyoung mused. He scratched Almond behind the ears as he rubbed up against his legs fondly. “You know we can’t afford that like you can.”

Jackson frowned and gave the dog a dirty look. “Bambam asks me to pay for him all the time.”

“Bambam is using you.”

“Yeah, so why don’t you guys use me too?” Jackson demanded. He stomped his feet lightly on the ground like a child, stopping only when Almond growled at him. “I want to have fun with you guys, you’re my best buddies but Jinyoung never wants to go anywhere and Jaebum, you’re become so boring ever since you started dating that Miran chick!”

Jaebum bristled. He had always been a popular guy and he felt a little insulted. “I’m not boring.”

“Then let’s go out! I’m telling you, strip clubs are not cheating. You’re just looking, there’s no touching involved at all. Besides, it’s just the three of us and nobody will even tell your girlfriend. I swear on my life I won’t tell Miran. Jinyoung, you swear too.”

Jinyoung hesitated. “It’s just…”

“Dammit Jinyoung, just swear!”

“Fine, I won’t tell Miran. But I don’t really get the point of strip clubs. I mean, you just blow a load of money to be left blue-balled and miserable by the end of it-“

Jackson wasn’t listening to them. He had already leapt up from the couch and was grabbing his wallet and phone, stuffing them into his pockets with a huge grin on his face. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! I’ll call us a cab since we’re drunk and I’ll call this guy I know on the way there, he’ll arrange to let us in. This place is really high-class, I promise it’s not shady or anything, I go there all the time…”

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Im Jaebum woke to a pounding headache and the sound of his phone ringing. He could feel the vibrating phone somewhere under his stomach and he rolled over with a groan, struggling to open his heavy eyelids. He looked around the room he was in, feeling his mind blank over.

Where am I? It was a familiar bedroom, certainly, but his head was aching too much for him to place it. It wasn’t until he spotted a neatly organized desk and a photo frame with a smiling girl in it that it struck him. This is Miran’s bedroom. What the hell? Jaebum turned slightly on the fluffy yellow Tweety-bird sheets and realized he was still fully dressed, shoes and all.

The phone started ringing again and he answered it this time, his voice sounding hoarse even to himself.

“Hello?”

“Morning, babe. What took you so long to answer? Did you leave for the gym already?” Miran’s soft voice asked. Jaebum felt a brief sense of panic. Why had he answered without looking at the caller ID? His brain was fuzzy but an instinctive sense of alarm told him that he should not be talking to his girlfriend in this state.

“Gym?” he croaked out.

Miran sounded unaffected. “Yeah. You go to the gym on Saturday mornings, right? Or did you decide to skip in light of last night’s festivities?” she asked coolly.

“What- I don’t- no, I’m on my way to the gym right now, I just didn’t hear the phone ring because I was in the shower-“ he stammered out, before suddenly realizing that it sounded stupid. Who the hell showered before they went to the gym? He used his hand to slap his cheeks, trying to get himself together. He couldn’t remember what he’d done last night but whatever it was, it wasn’t something that Miran should find-

“Oh? So you’re not -faced drunk from having gone to a strip club with Jackson and Jinyoung last night?” 

, , .

Jaebum was silent, his mind blanking out. How did she know? Feeling paranoid, he glanced around the room almost as if he expected Miran to come out of the bathroom. He slumped forward, letting his headache take over. If she had found out, there was no doing anything about it. “Baby, I can explain. I swear I didn’t do anything, I was with Jackson and Jinyoung the whole time-“

Miran laughed over the phone. “Oh, I know. I heard all about it. About how the three of you got madly drunk and Jackson paid for you guys to get a private show, but you puked all over the stripper and then repeatedly chanted the words ‘Don’t touch me, if you don’t touch me it’s not cheating!’ to every single woman who came across your path. Apparently the strippers found it quite amusing.”

Jaebum felt his stomach turn. “What? How did you-“

“It must have slipped your poor, drunken mind that one of my high school friends works there part-time. We even went to her birthday party last year. Remember Lee Haeun?” Miran asked coolly.

He resisted the urge to slap himself. Of course Lee Haeun worked part-time at a strip club. “Yes… But I mean…” Jaebum swallowed slightly and held the phone closer to his ear. “I didn’t touch any of them. Even though Jackson offered to get me a private , I said no way, I don’t need that stuff. The only girl I want a from is Miran.”

“How touching,” Miran said drily.

Jaebum felt guilt twinge in his chest. Why had he let Jackson talk him into doing something so stupid even though he knew Miran would get mad at him? It wasn’t even worth the stupid strip club. He rubbed his hands across his temples and sighed. “Not to mention that I’m in your apartment right now although I can’t exactly remember how I got here…”

“I can shed some light on that,” Miran offered coolly. “You went to my apartment at about 2 am and banged on my front door, insisting that you missed me and that you were going to take a train to Busan to see me right that moment unless I opened up.”

Jaebum curled up into himself. “I did that?” he asked in a small voice.

“You also scared the out of Yeojung next door. She, apparently, had to come running out of her apartment at the sound of my yelling and unlock my door for you. Then you went to my closet, took out one of my old pairs of jeans and cuddled up with it pressed to your face before you fell asleep on my bed.”

Jaebum glanced down and saw that there was indeed a wadded up pair of jeans next to him on the bed. He closed his eyes in humiliation. There was no way out of this.

“I mean…” he cleared his throat, making a feeble attempt at flattery. “Your looks really good in these jeans.”

There was silence on Miran’s end.

“Babe, don’t get mad,” Jaebum pleaded. He wasn’t usually the type to beg, he never really put himself in a position where he had to. But then again, he usually controlled his alcohol intake and never went completely wild like he had done last night. “I would never have gone if you were here. I missed you so much. These past few weeks have been really lonely without you. I’m sorry. I won’t go drinking with Jackson again. I won’t even drink until you come back, okay? No alcohol until New Year’s, I promise.”

“You’re really lucky you didn’t touch any of the strippers,” Miran warned.

Jaebum winced. “Yeah, I know. I wouldn’t have.”

“And you’re also really lucky that I somehow find this whole thing too funny to get seriously mad at you,” Miran added with a small giggle. She was a little pissed that Jaebum had gone out with Jackson, but deep down, she’d known that Jackson would manage to make her boyfriend do something stupid. Besides, it was slightly flattering that Jaebum missed her enough to go to her apartment and cuddle with her clothes. “Go home and sober up, we’ll talk later. I have to go into work.”

Jaebum paused. “You’re going into work on a Saturday?”

“Yes. Unlike my boyfriend who can afford to get drunk in strip clubs on his rich friend’s money, I actually have to work at this internship if I want to get a job-“

“Okay, okay, I get it,” he cut her off as he felt his head throb in pain. “Call me once you get off work. I love you.”

Miran smiled. “Luckily, I love you too. But you’re never outliving this, Im Jaebum.”

Jaebum groaned. “Oh god.”

“Haeun even sent me a video-“

“Okay, bye, babe! Have a nice day at work!” 

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Miran pressed her fingers against her temples as she stared at the screen of her laptop. She’d been working all day despite it being a Saturday. Her co-intern hadn’t come into work, leaving her with all his additional share of work. Everyone in the office was rather tense. They were dealing with a huge merger right now and it was all rather sensitive.

She flinched as one of the female managers walked past her desk, heels clicking on the floor.

“Miran, how much longer is that report going to take?” the manager demanded. She was particularly harsh on Miran and Miran wasn’t sure why. The woman seemed to have a soft spot for Miran’s rather handsome male co-intern but had decided that she hated Miran from the first day. “I need it before you leave tonight.”

Miran felt miserable. It was already ten pm.

“I’m almost done,” she reassured the manager, rummaging among the files on her desk.

“I don’t know why it’s taking you so long. Minwoo did all of it yesterday, you just needed to wrap it up,” the manager complained. 

What? “Actually, Minwoo had just barely started it before he left yesterday. He didn’t come into work today so I’ve been working on it all morning-“ Miran began explaining, feeling a burst of irritation. But the female manager wasn’t listening, she had already turned away and her heels were clacking on the hard floor.

“Just email it to me before you leave, I’m going home,” she called back to Miran, before disappearing. Miran clenched her fists around the file before turning her gaze back to her laptop. Who knew that sometimes other women were the ones to create the worst workplace discrimination? If her precious Minwoo had been doing the work, she would have told him to leave early.

Miran had just turned back to the report when her phone began ringing on the desk. She glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Jaebum. Her profile picture for him was an unusually cute one; she had convinced him to put on a pair of adorable bunny ears that had been a part of her Halloween costume. Jaebum looked surprisingly handsome even as he frowned at the camera and tried to hide his smile.

, I want to talk to him so bad. Jaebum’s voice was always deep and calm, and she felt relaxed whenever she heard him speak. He didn’t say much but the few words he said were always just the right thing and it was impossible to stay upset or agitated while listening to his deep voice and wise words.

But Miran had to finish this report or she would never leave the office. Ignoring the call and letting it go to voicemail, she focused her tired eyes on the report and vowed to finish it despite the pounding ache in her head. Her brain was literally too tired to function but she managed to finish it and then leave the office as quickly as she could. It was late at night and the buses were all gone; Miran felt exhaustion hit her as she called a cab and waited for it to take her to the apartment she was staying at.

By the time Miran took a shower and sat back in bed with a bowl of ramen in front of her, her entire body was aching. She checked her missed calls and realized that Jaebum had called her two more times. It was already past midnight. Feeling guilty, she called him back and stuck the phone between her ear and her shoulder so she could pick up her chopsticks and eat.

Jaebum’s voice was slightly groggy and deeper than usual. “Babe?”

Miran felt guilty as soon as she heard his voice. “Were you sleeping? Sorry, go back to sleep. We can talk tomorrow-“

“No, no, I’m awake,” Jaebum reassured her quickly, although she could hear him grunting slightly as he got out of bed. Miran closed her eyes and leaned back. She could picture Jaebum. He usually wore that one loose white t-shirt to bed; the one which made his torso look amazing because she could see the outline of his back muscles through it. His voice jolted her out of her imagination. “Why didn’t you pick up earlier? I’ve been calling you all evening.”

Miran sighed and rubbed her eyes. “I’ve been at work.”

“What? That late?” he asked. His voice sounded calm; he never raised it even when he was angry but years of being with Jaebum had taught Miran to detect the dangerously calm tone he adopted when he was annoyed. She could almost see his jaw clenching. “What could you possibly have been doing at work until 11 pm on a Saturday? How did you even get back to your apartment?”

“I took a cab,” she mumbled.

His irritation was evident. “That’s not safe.”

“I know, but I had to stay back and finish the work or the female manager wouldn’t let me leave. She has a crush on my co-intern so she piles me with all the work and lets him leave whenever he wants. I’ve been trying to get assigned to a different department for days, but the Project Manager is always busy whenever I go to his office and he sends me away telling me to come later. I’ve been stuck doing all the horrible work like the printing and the photocopying; I couldn’t get the photocopier to work and this other manager threw a huge fit accusing me of having broken it and he called me an idiot in front of everyone until a technician turned up and pointed out that it had just fused. I’ve been wearing heels and a pencil skirt since early this morning. My feet are killing me and I came back to my apartment to find that my roommate ate the last of the kimchi I brought from home and there’s nothing to eat here but ramen.”

Miran wasn’t sure at what point during her rant tears started to well up in her eyes, but by the end of it, she was sniffling and her eyes were too blurry to see the ramen in front of her.

Jaebum sounded alarmed. “Baby, are you crying?”

She let out a choked laugh and wiped her tears away. “Oh God. I’m sorry. I’m just tired, there’s nothing wrong with me. You know I start crying when I’m tired.”

“Hmm. You need to sleep, baby. And you need proper food. I’ll go to your Mom’s place in the morning and get her to pack more kimchi and other stuff for you. I’ll take it to the post office myself, okay?” he reassured her. Miran glanced down at her ramen and nodded.

“That sounds nice,” she said in a small voice.

“Work hard, but don’t stress yourself out too much. You know people in fancy offices like that are s. They develop huge egos but you can’t let them make you feel small,” he added. “You’re much more talented and hard-working than they are.”

Miran nodded quietly. “I know,” she mumbled.

“Hmmm. I’ve been dying to hear your voice all day,” Jaebum admitted. He let out a soft sigh. “I was worried that you weren’t picking up because you were mad at me about the whole strip club incident.”

“Are you kidding? That was probably the highlight of my day,” Miran joked weakly.

Jaebum chuckled slightly and leaned back, placing his hands behind his head. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend that Miran was lying next to him and that her voice wasn’t coming through the phone. He let out a soft sigh. “Baby.”

“Hmm?”

“This is harder than I thought,” he said quietly.

“What is?”

“Being away from you. I miss you like crazy. I keep worrying about you and what you’re doing. I was giving an exam this afternoon and halfway through the answer I suddenly thought about you.”

Miran smiled lightly. “What about me?”

 “How cute you look when you’re concentrating on an exam and how you mouth the words you’re writing to yourself with those gorgeous lips. I lost focus for like a full two minutes and forgot what I was writing about.”

“You’re an idiot,” she told him, although she felt her stress melting away. Miran leaned back and sighed, letting her back mold into the pillow and feeling her sore muscles. “What else did you do all day?”

“I googled how to handle long distance relationships.”

Miran laughed. “Yah. It’s been three weeks, I don’t know if we qualify for that just yet. But out of curiosity, did you find anything that might help?”

“I don’t know. A lot of the websites suggested phone so I thought that might be a good idea. That’s why I called you earlier. But you didn’t pick up, so I just jerked off to this huge stash of that Jackson lent me when he found out you were out of town.”   

Miran rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, you’re disgusting.”

Jaebum chuckled. “But it made you smile, right? I was just kidding. I wanted to make you laugh.”

“Nice save.”

“Come on, baby. I miss you like crazy and I’m . What else am I supposed to do? It’s not like is cheating or anything,” he pointed out. He paused for a moment and then continued. “And technically neither are strip clubs or else you would have dumped me by now.”

Miran giggled. “I’m not going to dump you over or strip clubs. But a time may just come in your life when you have to choose between me and Jackson because he is clearly the root of all these problems. I suggest you choose wisely.”

“Babe, you know he’s lonely. He doesn’t have a lot of real friends, most people just use him for his money.”

“You cannot convince me to pity Wang Jackson.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

There was a small silence and Miran let out an involuntary yawn. She was exhausted and Jaebum must have heard it because he sounded amused. He chuckled fondly.

“Babe, you should go to bed. You sound exhausted.”

Miran hummed, setting aside her bowl of ramen and sliding under the covers of her bed with the phone still pressed to her ear. “I’m under the covers. Will you sing me a lullaby?”

Jaebum let out an irritated grunt. “What are you, five-?”

“Please?”

He sighed and shifted in bed, closing his own eyes. “You’re lucky I miss you so much right now.”

Miran hummed happily as she heard his soft voice singing in her ear, feeling sleep drift over her.

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“I can’t believe you guys let me take a cab to Miran’s apartment while I was drunk and create a scene there,” Jaebum grumbled. He tugged at the sugar packet in his hands too hard, almost spilling it all over the table. He was having coffee with Jinyoung and Youngjae, having met them after their classes for the day ended.

Youngjae chuckled, amused. “I can’t believe I missed all that, hyung. I wish I’d been there.”

“You would have been doing something equally embarrassing if you had been there, Youngjae,” Jinyoung told him with a glare. He was usually rather blunt and sharp-tongued, but he seemed to be in a particularly bad temper that day. Jaebum narrowed his eyes at Jinyoung. He could tell when the boy was just being his savage self and when something was actually wrong.

Jaebum sipped at his coffee coolly before speaking. “I get that Jackson probably took one of the strippers home. Where did you disappear to, Jinyoung? Why didn’t we take a cab together?”

Jinyoung blinked. “I don’t remember. I must have taken a cab home myself.”

“But you never drink as much as the rest of us.”

“I did on Friday,” he replied dismissively, reaching for his cellphone to check the time. He blinked and frowned. “I have to go, I have a paper due tomorrow-“

Jaebum frowned. “Already?”

He gave Jaebum a small smile. “Hyung. You realize you’ve been really needy ever since Miran left for her internship, right? You never used to ask us to have coffee with you and chat before. You always blew us off in the evenings for your girlfriend. Now suddenly you want us to hang out with you?”

Jaebum frowned. “What? No. I just don’t have anywhere else to be-“

“Hyung, are you lonely?” Youngjae sang playfully, tilting his head with a cheerful smile.

“Shut up. Fine, you guys can leave. It’s not like I care. I’ll just sit here and do some reading for my classes, it’s not as if I constantly need company. I’m perfectly happy being with myself. In fact, it’s nice to have a break from all you noisy brats,” he grumbled.

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow. “If you’re this moody now, I can’t imagine how you’ll be if Miran actually gets the job. Then she’ll have to move to Busan right after graduation, how are you going to cope with that then?” he wondered, slightly amused.

Jaebum blinked. “What? Would they offer her a job?”

“Hyung, it’s an assessment internship. That means they assess your performance in the last week and give you a job offer as long as your performance is satisfactory. That’s the only reason people do such internships; because these companies give them job offers. You know Miran’s company doesn’t have a Seoul branch. They’re a multinational and their Korean headquarters are in Busan.”

There was a long pause, and Jaebum felt his head spin. He hadn’t thought that the same company would seriously give Miran a job offer. Did companies do that? Recruit interns solely for the purpose of finding potential employees? His blank look must have surprised Jinyoung because looked concerned.

“Hyung… what did you think?” Jinyoung asked gently.

Jaebum cleared his throat. “I just thought she wanted work experience with a good company. I thought she would put the internship on her resume and then apply for work here. In Seoul. She never told me that it was an assessment internship, or whatever you call it.”

Jinyoung suddenly felt guilty. “Hyung…”

Jaebum shook his head quickly. “No, it’s- you’re right, it’s my own stupidity. I never really bothered with how these things work. Miran was always the smart one who badly wanted to do this fancy corporate , I only ever thought of a job as a way to support myself financially. It’s not a passion for me like it is for her.”

“That might be true, but-“

“You guys probably have to leave, right? I was going to the gym anyway. I’ll see you guys around,” he said quickly, gathering his belongings and leaving the café. Jaebum’s jaw was clenched as he walked back to his apartment, ignoring the sound of Jinyoung and Youngjae calling after him.

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“I finally got myself transferred out of that department,” Miran chirped happily. Her face was small on Jaebum’s laptop screen and he smiled at her. She’d been getting off work so late for the past few weeks that they’d hardly had any time to video chat. But work had surprisingly ended at 7 pm for her that day and she’d called Jaebum immediately. “I think I’ll start getting off earlier now because that horrible female manager isn’t in charge of me anymore. My new manager is much nicer.”

Jaebum gave her a soft smile. “Hmm? What’s he like?”

“He’s kind of old. Like… not quite grandfather-age but you know. He has white hair and all. He’s really sweet; I went in to ask him for work and he spent about half an hour telling me about his daughters. Apparently one of them looks a lot like me.”

Jaebum frowned. “Yah. You should be careful; working under a male manager is always risky.”

Miran pressed her lips together tightly. Her face wasn’t as clear on the screen as Jaebum would have liked, but he could still see the sort of playful irritation that always came over her face when he displayed some sort of jealousy. He felt a sudden pang of loneliness even though Miran’s face was right in front of him; he’d missed that expression so much.

“Im Jaebum, he’s an old man.”

He grinned at her lightly. “I know, sometimes those old guys are the creepiest.”

“Jaebum!” she scolded with a pout. “I just told you that I managed to get away from the she-devil, shouldn’t you be a little happy for me? This manager is great. He even lets me choose what kind of work I want to do instead of just making me write reports and get photocopies. It’s an amazing learning experience; that’s how an internship should be, right? It should prepare you for the real job.”

Jaebum felt his heart sink slightly as he heard her mention a real job. It reminded him of what Jinyoung had said earlier; how it was an assessment internship, how they would probably offer her a job once this was over. The more he thought about it, the more real it seemed. What sort of stupid company wouldn’t offer Miran a job? She was hardworking, painfully efficient and was surely doing everything with full dedication. He shifted uncomfortably and re-adjusted the laptop before asking.

“So, uh… do you think they’ll offer you a job?”

Miran blinked and tilted her head lightly. “Will they? That would be really cool if they did, but you never know. That female manager might put in a bad word.”

Will you take it, if they do? The words were stuck on the tip of Jaebum’s tongue, but he couldn’t ask them somehow. It suddenly struck him that he was afraid of the answer. What if she said yes? What if she laughed at him and said that it was obvious that she would take the job, that she would move to Busan? What was Im Jaebum in front of her dream job? His throat suddenly clenched up and he could only stare at the screen as Miran smiled at him through it.

“Oh! I got the kimchi and the other food you couriered me!” she chirped happily, holding up a bowl of food that was in her hands. “Thank you so much for doing that. I thought I was going to die on ramen and instant convenience store meals. They taste like plastic and some of them gave me a bad stomachache the next day.”

Jaebum smiled forcefully. “That’s okay. It’s good to see you’re eating well.”

“My Mom called me to gush about how sweet you are. She keeps saying that you look like this one idol singer she watches on TV. She says if I break up with you, she’ll probably disown me,” Miran giggled. Her mother’s adoration of Jaebum was cute and nice to hear, especially considering her father kept him at a distance. “My Dad would like you just as much if you’d just remembered to take that piercing out before coming to dinner. I told you he doesn’t like such things.”

Jaebum’s fingers went up to touch his ear piercing instinctively. “Hmm, I should have.”

“I figured out how to hide the food from my roommate, too. I put them in dark containers and labelled them as shrimp soup. She’s allergic so she won’t even touch the containers now,” Miran explained gleefully. She smiled up at Jaebum and noticed that his own smile had faded. He was giving her a rather distant look.

“Jaebum? Are you okay?”

He blinked and smiled, nodding. “Yeah, of course.”

“I lost you for a second there.”

“I know, sorry. I was just thinking that you look really happy,” he said softly. He leaned closer to the screen to look at her. “You are happy, right? With the work you’re doing and all? You’re enjoying the internship?”

Miran bobbed her head in a nod. “Sure, I am. It’s really interesting; so much more than boring classes in college. We get to meet with actual clients and take part in real negotiations. You should just watch and see; I’ll become a real career woman in no time. I could become a CEO and you would have to make an appointment with my PA to see me,” she giggled.

Jaebum didn’t find it funny. It was a possibility that hit him extremely hard and he couldn’t hide the way his expression dropped. Miran blinked at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Babe, are sure you’re okay?” she wondered.

Jaebum tried to jerk himself out of his thoughts. He couldn’t worry Miran, not when she was so happy and enjoying what she was doing. He couldn’t burst her bubble with his negative thoughts. It wasn’t fair to her. He forced a smile and faked a yawn. “Sorry, I’m just sleepy. I had coffee with Youngjae earlier and he kept going on about that Iseul girl; you know her…”

Miran rolled her eyes. “His one-sided love? Yeah, who doesn’t. He’s so obvious.”

“Yeah, so he tired me out and he kept yelling so my right ear is still kind of ringing from the effect…” Jaebum joked lightly. “I think I’ll just go to bed early.”

She pouted. “Really? I thought you might want to try out that phone thing now that I finally got off work early.” Miran bit her lip and leaned closer to the screen, looking up at the camera through her eyelashes playfully. “You should know that underneath these boring pajamas, I’m wearing that lacy red bra you bought me on Valentine’s Day.”

Jaebum let out a choked laugh. “Babe, don’t do this to me!”

Miran leaned back from the screen again, her smile dropping slightly. She gave Jaebum a slightly concerned look. He almost never said that he was too tired for ; he would still insist on doing it even if it meant Miran had to be on top. He must be exhausted. Miran suddenly felt like she missed Jaebum more than ever. She hardly knew what he was doing these days, or what he’d been up to.

“Okay. You go to bed, babe. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

He smiled and nodded. “Okay, good night.”

She sighed. “I can’t wait until New Year’s. It’s just ten days away. I’m dying to see you.”

“Mmmhm. I love you.”

“I love you too. So much, Jaebum-ah.”

He turned off the laptop and set it aside, sliding under the covers with a heavy heart. As Im Jaebum closed his eyes, he realized that he had never felt so scared about anything before. He was usually the type to take things easy, to give up on whatever he couldn’t get without bothering about it too much.

But he couldn’t give up on Park Miran. He wouldn’t.

Jaebum wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle losing her.

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Jaebum (17:54): At the gym. Will call you later tonight. Love you.

Miran frowned at the message from a few hours ago on her phone, a little irritated. Jaebum was at the gym an awful lot these past few days. He hardly ever answered her phone calls and always claimed to be tired at night. She had no idea what was going on. Where was the Jaebum who had googled how to handle long-distance relationships and suggested phone ? She wasn’t even sure why he was so tired all the time since he didn’t do much besides attend his classes.

He’d been acting odd ever since they day their last video-chat. Jaebum had been madly clingy until then, calling her at least twice a day when he was at work and laughing when she scolded him lightly. But she hadn’t gotten a single call all day. He was only responding through text messages, and very short ones at that.

“Hey, Miran!” her roommate called out, opening the door and peeping into her room. “We’re going out for dinner. Do you want to come? Or are you going to video-call your boyfriend again?”

Miran gave her a smile. “Sorry, I’m waiting for him to call.” 

The roommate laughed. “Yeah, okay. If you guys get up to something fishy, just lock the door first, okay?” she joked, before leaving. She was friendly enough, if not for the fact that she often ate Miran’s food. Miran waited until the girl left and shut the door behind her to pick up her phone again. Deciding that she was hesitating for no reason, she pulled up Jaebum’s contact and pressed call.

The phone rang for a long time, and Jaebum finally answered, sounding breathless.

“Babe? What’s wrong, are you okay?” he asked.

Miran pouted. “I’m fine. Why are you getting so flustered?”

He cleared his throat, sounding disturbed. Miran could hear a lot of noise in the background; he was clearly in a busy place, not at the local gym where the only noise was the whirring of exercise machines. She pushed the thought aside and focused on his voice.  

“No, no, I’m not flustered. I was just wondering why you called so suddenly. I told you I would call later tonight,” he explained hurriedly.

“I missed you. I feel like you’ve been way more busy than me these days,” she whined cutely, hoping that some aegyo would get her his attention. She pouted into the phone. “What are you doing at the gym all that time? Are you planning to drop out of college and pursue bodybuilding?”

Jaebum chuckled, although he sounded kind of distracted. “Yeah? Maybe I should.”

Miran froze for a moment, as she heard the background sound. It was the clear sound of a female voice; the same female voice that made announcements at the train stations when a train was about to arrive. She frowned and clutched the phone closer to her ear, trying to hear the announcements. “Jaebum? Is that a train announcement I hear? Are you at a train station?”

Jaebum cleared his throat. “Ah; you can hear that?”

“Yes.”

“I, uh,  just came to drop off Jinyoung. He’s going to his hometown for New Year’s and he had a load of luggage and presents to take home to his sisters so I came to help him. I’ll go back home once his train leaves.”

Miran slumped back against her bed. “Oh. He’s going home already? Won’t he miss classes on Monday?”

“Yeah, his mother insisted. Oh- babe, the train’s here. I have to help him carry his luggage, okay? I’ll call you later tonight once I have time,” Jaebum said hurriedly. He barely gave Miran time to get a word in edgewise as he finished off the call. “I love you, take care, okay?”

“Okay-“ Miran began, but he had already hung up. She felt a unpleasant stir in her stomach. Something about Jaebum’s behavior felt odd. Miran didn’t want to think that he was lying to her, but she had a bad feeling he was hiding something. She suddenly missed him more than ever. It hadn’t felt so difficult when he called her every day and they talked about whatever was on their minds, but she couldn’t stand being away from him now that he wasn’t even making time to talk to her.

Were they okay? Miran suddenly wasn’t so sure.

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He didn’t call her again that night, nor did she get a single call from him the next day. Miran felt miserable as she stared at her phone, in between catching up on the sleep that she’d missed all week. It wasn’t until 8pm when her roommate finally burst into her room, looking concerned.

“Miran, you’ve been lying in bed all day. It’s Saturday. Come out with us, let’s have some fun.”

Miran pulled the covers higher over herself. “I’m catching up on sleep.”

“No, you’re not. You just keep staring at your phone. You’re probably waiting for your boyfriend to call again, aren’t you?” the roommate demanded, hands on her hips. Miran bit her lip, staying silent. She was, but she didn’t want to admit it. She suddenly realized how stupid it seemed. The roommate sighed. “Come on. We’re going out to get drinks, you have to come with us. Let’s face it, your boyfriend is probably having fun with his friends right now too. Don’t worry.”

Miran dragged herself out of bed and got dressed, going out for dinner with her roommate and her friends. They were all a fun group of people and she ended up getting a little more drunk than she’d intended to. They stumbled back to the apartment in the early hours of the morning, giggling stupidly and falling all over the place. Miran waved a clumsy goodnight to her roommate before closing her bedroom door shut behind her. The sight of her bed suddenly reminded her of Jaebum; she whipped out her cellphone.

He still hadn’t called her.

She pressed the phone to her ear, calling him only to get no response. Miran felt a sudden burst of anger as she stared down at her phone. How dare he not answer her calls? Who did he think he was; how could he ignore her when she missed him so much?

Her drunken senses convinced her to pull up her contacts and call Jaebum’s roommate. Mark would surely answer the phone; he had no reason to avoid her. Miran would make Mark wake Jaebum up and talk to her, and she would give him a good scolding on how you didn’t ignore your girlfriend like this.

Mark sounded groggy. “Hello?”

“Mark? Hi, it’s Miran!” she told him brightly.

He sounded a little annoyed when he heard her tone; it was rather obvious from her voice that she was drunk and he’d been trying to sleep. “Yeah, I saw your caller ID. What is it?”

Miran sobered up a little as she realized that he was irritated. “Sorry, sorry. I know I probably woke you up. It’s just that Jaebum isn’t answering his phone and I really need to talk to him. I know he’s probably asleep but can you go into his room and wake him up and let him know-“

“Jaebum? He’s not here, though.”

Miran felt her heart skip a beat. Her voice rose slightly in a panicked manner. “What do you mean, he’s not there? It’s three am in the morning, where else could he possibly be if he’s not at home?”

Mark sounded much more awake. “Uh-uh, relax. Don’t freak out, okay? He’s probably just crashing at Jinyoung’s, you know they sometimes drink together on Saturday nights. In fact, yeah, now that I think about it he told me that he was going to drink with Jinyoung.”

Miran felt her hands tremble. “I thought Jinyoung went to his hometown for New Year’s. Jaebum dropped him off at the train station yesterday.”

“Ah- did he? It must have been Jackson, then, I wasn’t paying attention. I haven’t been sleeping well, you see-“

Miran took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Mark; are you lying to me?”

Mark hesitated. “No.”

“Okay. Let me know when Jaebum gets back. Tell him to call me if you can.”

“I’ll do that.”

“Thanks,” she hung up, feeling all the effects of the alcohol evaporate. Miran was suddenly very, very sober and very, very aware of the fact that something was wrong with her boyfriend. Or maybe it wasn’t Jaebum that was the problem. Maybe it was her.

Maybe he was tired of putting up with her.

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Jaebum called her back the next day and told her that he’d been with Jackson all night, that they’d been drinking at Jackson’s place with Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom. Miran believed him. She couldn’t think of a reason why he would lie to her, nor did she want to believe that he would.

“I feel like you’ve been ignoring me lately,” she told him honestly. “It make me feel really bad.”

He apologized, sincerely. Jaebum sounded honestly upset and Miran decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. He probably hadn’t realized how he was making her feel. And he certainly started calling her more regularly, at least for the few days left until she returned to Busan. Miran was almost relieved when her internship ended. She was tired of being away from Jaebum and she missed home in general.

Miran pressed her phone to her ear, talking to him as she packed up her stuff to go back to Seoul.

“-can’t wait to see you. How’s Almond? Is he doing okay? If I find out that he’s lost weight when I come to pick him up then I’ll kill you, Im Jaebum.”

Jaebum laughed, “Relax. He’s fatter than ever. Mark keeps giving him treats. And my cats are pretty used to him now. We’re thinking about keeping him.”

Miran giggled as she stuffed a few more shirts into her suitcase. “Ahh, it feels so good to be coming back home. I can’t believe how much I missed everything. And I can’t wait to see you and to have drinks with everybody tonight. I wish I could just teleport there instead of having to get on the train. I might lose my mind in the meantime.”

“Hey, don’t do that. I’d like to see a sane girlfriend when I come pick you up. Are you done packing yet?”

“Almost. I was going to do it last night but I had to stay back late at the office because it was my last day. They asked me to say a few things and I had to thank everyone. The head manager even called me into his office and gave me a job offer letter.”

Jaebum’s eyes widened in shock. “What? That’s amazing, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he choked out.

“I know, it’s pretty flattering, right?” she giggled.

“Did you sign something?”

Miran rolled her eyes as she shoved another pair of jeans into the bag. “Yah. Obviously I couldn’t sign anything with this company. But it really gave me a confidence boost. Now I’m positive that I can get work anywhere else if I try-“

He cut her off sharply. “You didn’t sign?”

“Jaebum-ah,” Miran said with a hesitant laugh. She couldn’t understand his surprise. Wasn’t it obvious? “The company is in Busan…”

“So what?” he sounded annoyed. “What does it matter where the company is? Didn’t you enjoy working there? You said that you loved what you were doing. Why the hell would you turn down their job offer? I can’t believe you, Miran.”

Miran felt suddenly hurt, and her fingers froze on her luggage. Jaebum never talked to her that way. “You can’t believe me? I don’t understand what you’re saying. Exactly how am I supposed to work in Busan when my entire life is in Seoul? What about you?”

“What about me?” he demanded.

Miran felt her heart sink into her stomach. She could barely believe what she was hearing him say. Was he saying that he wanted her to work in Busan? In a different part of the country from where he was? Staying away from him for the past two months had been painful enough and he wanted her to move there permanently?

“What about us?” she asked, her voice cracking. “Im Jaebum… are you seriously saying that you would be okay with me taking a job in Busan? Living here forever; or at least for the next five-years which is the minimum period for any employment contract?”

Jaebum took a deep breath and sighed. “You shouldn’t have given up that job for me. You shouldn’t give up anything for me, Miran. You shouldn’t have to.”

Miran felt her hands tremble. “Tell me you’re not being serious right now. Please.”

“I am. You should go back and take that job if you still can.”

Miran felt a burst of anger rush through her. Was he seriously going to be like this? How dare he claim to love her and make her fall in love and then tell her that their relationship wasn’t even worth turning down a stupid job offer over? How dare he?”

“Maybe I will,” she snapped.

His voice softened. “Miran-“

“I can’t talk right now, I’m going to be late for the train. I’ll see you later,” she told him shortly, and hung up the phone. Miran’s head spun and her hands trembled as she looked down at her half-packed luggage.

What is going on right now?

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Miran was tense throughout the train ride. She kept repeating Jaebum’s words to herself. You shouldn’t give up anything for me. What had he meant by that? Was he merely trying to be considerate about the fact that she had made a sacrifice or was it something else? Surely, Jaebum couldn’t think that their relationship wasn’t worth giving up other things for. Miran bit her lip as she watched the countryside whiz past her. There were very few things she wouldn’t give up for Jaebum.

But maybe he didn’t feel the same way.

As the train approached Seoul, Miran felt confident that the past two and a half months apart was responsible for the problems they’d been having. Not having a clue where he was had made Miran more anxious and their limited means of communication has led them to misunderstand each other. She would have to be an idiot to deny that the time apart had taken a toll on their relationship.

The question was whether it could all be fixed now that she was back.

She got out of the train, suitcase lugging behind her and glanced around the station nervously. He would come to pick her up, wouldn’t he? She had told her parents not to come because she wanted to spend New Years’ with Jaebum first. Surely Jaebum wouldn’t leave her alone at the train station just because they’d had a small spat over the phone.

He came. He was standing at a distance, one hand shoved into his jeans pocket while the other hand waved coolly to get her attention. Miran felt tears well up in her eyes as soon as she saw his tall, broad-shouldered figure weaving through the crowd to reach her. His familiar swagger and the way he neatly dodged a little kid that was running blindly had Miran staring at him in admiration. Jaebum had a soft smile on his face when he finally stood in front of her.

“Hey, baby. How are you-“

She sniffled and threw her arms around him. Miran clutched at handfuls of his t-shirt at the back and pressed her face against his hard chest. Jaebum was shocked for a brief moment but he wrapped one arm tightly around her and used the other to gently her hair.

“Hey,” he cooed softly, smiling down at her. “That’s a nice welcome. Baby, are you seriously crying?”

Miran sniffled again. She wasn’t crying, not properly, but the beginnings of tears had made her eyes shiny as she looked up at him. Her lower lip stuck out in a pout. “I missed you. I missed you so much, Jaebum. I’ll never leave you again.”

Jaebum felt warmth explode in his chest as he looked down at her. Her eyes were slightly red but she still looked as beautiful as ever. For a moment, he wondered how this beautiful, caring girl was even his. Giving her a soft smile and a peck on the forehead, he slowly pulled her arms away from him. She had been clutching his shirt a little too hard.

“You’ll rip my shirt, and people are staring at us,” he lightly as he pushed her away and grabbed hold of her suitcase. “Come on, let’s go back to your place and then we can make up for lost time. There are too many kids around here.”

He turned to start walking away, but Miran was tugging on his shirt. Jaebum whirled around and saw that she was pouting at him while holding the hem of his t-shirt with one hand. “Say you missed me,” she whined.

He laughed. “Baby-“

“Say it. You haven’t said it and I’m upset because we argued on the phone earlier.”

Jaebum let go of her suitcase and stepped closer to her. One of his hands gently came up to caress her cheek and he placed a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. Miran closed her eyes as she heard him speak in a low, deep voice.

“I missed you like crazy. You don’t know how relieved I am that you’re back. Now hurry up and come along so we can go to your apartment and I can show you how much I missed you.”  

She smiled lightly and followed him as they left the train station, grabbing hold of his arm which wasn’t carrying her suitcase. Jaebum’s car was parked outside and she got inside, taking a deep breath and inhaling it. Jaebum looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“What, can’t you breathe?” he joked.

Miran frowned as she leaned back into the comfortable passenger seat. “I just realized how much I missed the smell of your car. I never even noticed that your car smelled good before, but it does, and I missed it.”

“Jesus, anyone would think you’d just come back from the army.”

Miran shrugged as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. She felt warm inside and her earlier worries had sort of faded away. Seeing Jaebum had made her feel much better. They were good at communicating when they were together. They could sort out whatever distance had built up when they were apart, she was confident about it. She smiled as Jaebum reached over and entwined their hands together.

“You know, when I didn’t see you earlier… I thought for half a second that maybe you didn’t come to pick me up,” she admitted lightly. “Because we fought on the phone earlier and I hung up on you.”

He glanced at her, alarmed. “I wouldn’t do something like that.”

“I know. I kind of felt stupid for thinking it after I saw you. I feel like this time apart has created a gap between us since we haven’t been communicating properly,” she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw that Jaebum looked serious, his jaw clenched slightly as he stared at the road. “But it’s okay, right? I’m back now and we can fix things.”

“We can,” he assured her, bringing their entwined hands up to his lips and kissing the back of her hand. He sighed lightly. “And we should… we should talk about why we fought earlier too. About you giving up the job offer. I’m sorry I got mad. But we should still talk about it. There are some things I have to tell you.”

Miran felt anxious, but slightly relieved at the same time. She wasn’t sure what Jaebum wanted to tell her but she was confident that they could talk anything out. “I’m listening,” she reassured him.

“Later,” he promised with a tense smile. “First let’s get you back to your apartment so that you can shower and get ready. We’re meeting the others for drinks at six and Jackson will kill us if we’re late because he apparently booked us a table at the pub and he had to pull a lot of strings to get us one on New Year’s Eve.”

“Okay,” Miran whispered lightly.

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They went back to her apartment. Jaebum had already dropped Almond off at Miran’s and they played with the excited dog for a while before Miran rushed into the shower to get ready. Wang Jackson threw a fit when people were late for an outing that he’d planned and she didn’t want to annoy him.

Besides, she’d bought a really pretty dress for the night from the store Bambam worked at. The boy’s own dressing sense was a little shocking, but Miran loved the pretty blue knee-length dress he’d picked out that exposed most of her back. She was positive that she’d made the right choice when she stepped out of her bedroom and Jaebum gaped at her.

“Wow,” he mumbled.

“You like it? Bambam picked it out for me before I left for Busan,” she said, doing a small twirl and giggling. She’d missed the eerily calm yet hungry look that appeared in Jaebum’s eyes when she got dressed up for him. He stood up and walked over to her, eyes raking over her body calmly.

“No wonder,” Jaebum mused as he gently ran a finger down the length of her exposed back. Miran felt shivers down her spine as he traced her bare skin and stared into her eyes gently. “Only Bambam would pick out something like this. And only you would make it look this ing amazing. God, I missed you so much, you have no idea.”

Miran smiled and let Jaebum pull her closer into his arms. “Trust me, baby, I know.”

“We should hurry up and go or we’ll never get out of here. But believe me when I say that I will take that dress off you before the night ends,” he promised firmly. 

Miran bit her lip. Part of her wanted him to do it now, it had been so long since Jaebum had touched her the way she wanted him to. His hungry eyes were making her excited. But they didn’t have much of a choice. They’d agreed to go out for drinks with the others. Not to mention Miran had personally invited Yeojung to come along because she hadn’t seen her best friend in months either. Yeojung would murder Miran if she left her at the gathering alone; the other girl wasn’t even too close to the rest of their group.

“Mmmhm, we have to go,” Miran replied, sliding her hand into Jaebum’s. “Yeojung will kill me if I don’t turn up. But maybe we can walk to the pub?”

Jaebum paused in the motion of putting his keys into his pocket. “You don’t want me to drive?”

“It’s better that way, isn’t it? We have time and it’s just a few blocks away. You can drink with the rest of us and you won’t have to worry about your car,” she teased. Miran stood on her tiptoes to lean closer to his ear. “ with you is more fun when you’re drunk because I love how you get just a bit more rough with me.”   

Jaebum stared at her sharply. “. Okay, let’s walk. You’d better wrap up, you can’t step outside like that.”

“That’s so unromantic. You have to give me your jacket once we get outside and you see me shiver.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes but smiled fondly at her. “Fine, fine.”  

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They had a pleasant walk down to the pub. Miran snuggled up warmly in one of Jaebum’s coats and grabbed his hand tightly as they walked, looking at all the lights and decorations in all the shops nearby. It had been so long since they just enjoyed each other’s company like this and she missed spending time with Jaebum.

“I feel terrible that I missed spending Christmas with you,” she mumbled as she pressed her cheeks against his upper arm. Jaebum looked down at her and smiled. Miran usually just held his hand lightly as they walked,  but tonight she’d wrapped herself around his left arm firmly. He found it adorable. “Should we celebrate Christmas again someday next week? We can set up a few lights in my apartment and exchange presents!”

Jaebum frowned. “Yah. Now I have to go and buy a present? Why?” he whined.

“I don’t know. I just felt like doing it,” she pouted. “It’s fine if you don’t want to…”

He chuckled. “I’m teasing you, idiot. I don’t mind. But don’t you have a lot of coursework to catch up on, considering you took time off your classes for that internship?”

Miran stopped walking and glared at him. “Do you want me to have a panic attack in the middle of the street on New Year’s Eve? Because I can do it. I am fully capable of breaking down here right now, so don’t even bring up how much coursework I’ve missed unless you want me to start pulling my hair out.”

Jaebum laughed and tugged at her arm. “Come on, let’s keep going. We’re late already and at this rate Jackson will throw a fit that will put your panic attack to shame.”

They hurried down the road, snuggling further into their jackets and cuddling each other to resist the cold. It was slightly inconvenient but a little cold wasn’t enough to bring Miran down from her high. She was relieved to be back with Jaebum, excited to finally see their friends after months and to get drunk and merry in general. She unlocked her hand from Jaebum’s once her fingers started feeling numb and shoved them in the pockets of Jaebum’s coat.

“Uh, you always leave so much trash in your coat pockets,” she complained as her hands came across a number of miscellaneous objects. Jaebum was the best at putting things in all his pockets and completely forgetting them later. It was like a treasure hunt. “There’s barely any space for me to stick my hands inside with all the trash in here.”

Jaebum grinned, but ignored her. “Oh! Look, there’s the pub. Finally, let’s hurry inside, I’m freezing.”

Miran followed him silently, although she couldn’t help but pull out a couple of the things from his pockets. Any sort of disorganization got in her nerves and she especially couldn’t stand leaving unnecessary trash around. She gave Jaebum a dirty look at the things that came out of his pocket.

“An empty packet of mints. A receipt from the local convenience store. Some loose change; ugh, how can you leave money lying around, put that in your wallet!” she scolded, handing him the coins as he chuckled at her.

To her surprise, Jaebum leaned down and pecked the top of her head gently. “I’ve missed you nagging me about stuff like this,” he admitted with a laugh. He took his hands out of his own pockets and pressed them to her pink cheeks as he smushed them. “You’re so adorable.”

Miran glanced up at him with a pout until she pulled the last thing out of his coat pocket. “Ugh, and this crumpled up thing, what is…” she trailed off as she uncrumpled the slip and blinked at it, bewildered. “For the love of god, why do you have a train ticket to Busan in your pocket? It’s like a garbage dump in here!”

Jaebum froze, stiffening. “Uh, there’s a trash can over there. Let’s throw all that stuff out.”

Miran was still looking at the train ticket. Her exposed fingers were numb in the cold as she held it up in front of her. “Jaebum, this is dated last week.”

“Oh.”

She looked up, the playful atmosphere suddenly disappearing. Her eyes were wide as she looked at Jaebum and realized that his smile had dropped as well. He was staring at the ground. The guilty expression on his face scared Miran more than the train ticket itself.

“Jaebum,” she said shakily. “Why do you have a train ticket to Busan dated last week in your coat pocket?”

He cleared his throat. “I was going to explain that to you tonight.”

“Explain it to me now,” she said calmly. Her head was spinning. She looked at the date again and felt it click in her mind. “This was around the time last week when you didn’t answer my phone calls. When you called me later and told me that you’d spent the night at Jackson’s house. Was that a lie?”

Jaebum closed his eyes. “Yes.”

“You were in Busan that weekend?” she asked. Her voice was slightly shaky, although she was trying to keep it stable. All the unpleasant memories from that week came back to her. How he’d hardly answered her phone calls, how he’d been acting distant. Miran took a deep breath and tried not to jump to conclusions. “Did you come to see me?” she pressed.

Jaebum bit his lip. “No, not exactly.”

“Why would you come to Busan, not see me, and then lie about it?” she demanded.

“Babe, I can explain. I was going to talk to you about all this tonight, okay? I know I shouldn’t have lied but it just wasn’t something that I wanted to talk to you over the phone about. I thought that I should tell you in person, so I waited.”

Miran felt her heart sink into her stomach. What kind of conversation couldn’t be done over the phone? What was so important that he had to lie to her rather than explaining the truth?

Are you breaking up with me? The words were on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t say them, the question wouldn’t come out. She was too terrified of the answer, too ashamed of asking the question. Should she have seen this coming? Miran wondered if it had been obvious through his behavior that he was unhappy, and if she’d been too busy to notice him. Did I hurt him? Is he just bored of me? Is there someone else?

The door to the pub swung open beside them. Both Jaebum and Miran jumped, before noticing a grinning Jackson step outside. He beamed his usual bright smile at them. “Yah! Are you two lovebirds going to stand out there all night or what? I get that you haven’t seen each other in a while but Jesus, at least don’t freeze to death!”  

Jaebum glanced at Miran awkwardly. “Baby, let’s go inside.”

Miran looked at his outstretched hand and took it hesitantly, following him into the pub where everyone was already gathered.

Is this is the end?

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Miran smiled awkwardly as she approached the large table that they’d all pulled together. Jaebum’s friends were all here and they greeted Miran warmly. She accepted hugs from Bambam and Yugyeom, and laughed politely as the younger ones joked about how Jaebum had been extremely grumpy when Miran wasn’t around.

“I missed you so much!” Yeojung chirped happily as she, too, threw her arms around Miran’s neck. Miran laughed and hugged her best friend back. She sat down next to her and accepted the glass of wine that her friend offered her cheerfully. “I’ve been dying, waiting for you to get back. You’re my only drinking buddy. I tried drinking with that girl who lives across from us and she puked all over my carpet.”

Miran winced. “Eugh.”

Yeojung grinned. “I know! I’m so glad you’re back!” she glanced behind Miran and smiled. “Hi, Jaebum! I hope there are no hard feelings between us.”

Jaebum blinked. “Huh?”

“You know, because I told Miran about you causing a ruckus at her apartment and cuddling up with her jeans,” Yeojung reminded him with an embarrassed smile. Jaebum flushed in return and waved a hand dismissively, but he sat facing firmly away from Yeojung, on Miran’s other side.

Miran settled back in her seat, trying to focus on what was happening around her. Everyone was being loud. Bambam was particularly noisy and he kept poking and teasing his friend Ah-Reum, who didn’t seem to mind much. Jackson kept banging the table and trying to get everyone’s attention; loudly reminding them that even though he’d invited everybody himself, some change in circumstances had rendered him broke and he wouldn’t be able to pay for everyone anymore. Miran was vaguely aware of him offering some explanation but she couldn’t be bothered to listen.

Did Jaebum plan to break up with her on New Year’s Eve?

It was a horrible thought, but the only one that kept circling her mind as drinks and raucous laughter went around the table. Jaebum gently nudged her and offered her some vodka but she only took a sip before pushing it away. She couldn’t drink. Miran didn’t want to be drunk when Jaebum finally told her tonight that he was done with her. That would be so pathetic.

The more Miran thought about it, the more obvious it seemed. This was why he’d gotten angry when he found out she rejected the job offer. Of course. The girl he was planning to dump rejected a job offer for him, he must have freaked out. There was a hollow, sick feeling in her stomach as she stared at the small, untouched glass of vodka. She could feel Jaebum’s eyes on her but she ignored him.

It felt like an eternity before they got ready to leave. Miran only sat up and paid attention when she heard Jaebum speak up loudly.

“Anyway, guys, we’re out of alcohol and I don’t think we can afford to buy more. This place is way too expensive. I say we pay the bill and get out of here,” he suggested. His eyes were on Miran. She had been silent the whole night and it was obvious to anyone who was paying attention that she wasn’t enjoying herself.

Bambam gave Jaebum a sneaky glance. “Does that mean you’re offering to pay, hyung?”

Jinyoung reached around to whack Bambam on the back of the head, shaking his head in a disapproving manner. “Yah. Stop trying to mooch off other people. We’re going to split the bill by the number of people here. Let’s see. Three… four… five…”

Jinyoung held up the calculator on his phone and announced the amount of money that each of them would have to pay. Miran saw Jabeum fishing in his wallet out of the corner of her eye. He’d pulled out a wad of notes that were much larger than his own share; it suddenly struck her that he was going to pay for the both of them, as he often did.

Miran felt a sudden burst of anger. She grabbed her own purse and fished out the cash for her own share hurriedly, shoving the crumpled notes into Jinyoung’s hand. Jaebum froze with his hand mid-air and looked up at her with wide-eyes.

“Miran…” he said gently.

She ignored him, turning to look at Yeojung. She felt bad that she’d been terrible company for her best friend all night. But Yeojung seemed to be too drunk to mind. Besides, the girl had been sneaking glances across the table at Mark all night.

“Yah. How drunk are you? Can you make it home alone?” Miran asked, trying to gauge if Yeojung was all right. Miran cleared . Whatever was going on with Jaebum, she needed to resolve it tonight or she would lose her mind. “I was kind of planning to leave with Jaebum.”

Yeojung smiled and lifted a hand confidently to reassure her. “I’m perfectly fine,” she said, a little too cheerily. “I’ll go take a cab, and I’ll be home before you know it! You go… you go have fun with Jaebum. You guys haven’t spent time together in so long.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely!”

Miran nodded. “I’ll go, then. Message me once you reach home safely. If I don’t get a text from you within an hour, I’m going to assume you’ve been kidnapped. Be careful, okay?”

Yeojung nodded and gave her a clumsy wave. Miran smiled at her friend and then turned to find Jaebum standing at the exit to the pub, waiting for her. He gave her a soft smile and took her hand gently in his as she approached him. Miran didn’t pull away from him but she didn’t respond either. They stepped out into the cold air.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Jaebum asked quietly. “We can go to the park and watch the fireworks like we always do. Maybe we can talk there.”

Miran only nodded and followed him. He kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eye but stayed silent for the most part as they walked down to the park nearby. It was getting close to midnight. People were gathering around in anticipation of the fireworks. Miran and Jaebum had been coming here every New Year’s Eve since they started dating. They always cuddled in the grass in the park and watched the fireworks explode, sharing the first kiss of the new year.

It was one of the nicest memories Miran had. Yet somehow, she had a sick feeling in her stomach this time.

“Let’s go stand over there?” Jaebum suggested, pointing to a relatively secluded area of the park. It didn’t have the best view of the fireworks but there was a railing that looked down onto the river and Miran wanted nothing more than privacy right now. She followed him there silently.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked gently, once they reached the railing. Miran’s hands were clutching onto it tightly and she was looking down at the river. He wished she would look at him but he wasn’t about to say anything about that. “Is it because I lied about going to Busan? Is that why you’ve been quiet all night and you paid your own share of the bill?”

Miran closed her eyes. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“I told you I would explain.”

“Then do it, what’s taking you long?” she demanded, turning to him suddenly. Her eyes were filled with anger. “For god’s sake, just do it quickly and get it over with, why do I have to wait so long for you to say a few words? Why the hell were you in Busan? Why did you tell me that I should have taken a job offer across the country from you?”

Jaebum bit his lip and sighed. “You should have discussed the job offer with me before you rejected it. I would have told you that the last thing I want is for you to sacrifice your dream career for me. I should have been made a part of that decision.”

Miran bit her lip. “So that you could have stopped me from doing it?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I didn’t. I thought it was obvious to both of us that we would stay together after college and for that we would have to be in the same city, at least. I thought our relationship was more than a campus fling. I guess I was an idiot to make that assumption.”

“Miran-“

“There are very few things in this world that I wouldn’t give up for you, Im Jaebum,” she began, her voice cracking. Jaebum stared in shock as he realized that tears were leaking out of Miran’s eyes. She’d been holding it back all night but now it was all coming out like a waterfall. Her hands trembled as she gripped the railing. “And these past two months away from you has been torture. I could barely stand not seeing you for a few months, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you forever. And I know this sounds so pathetic because you’re about to break up with me, but…” a choked sob made its way out of and she tilted her head down to the floor in shame.

“Jaebum-ah, please don’t leave me.”

A pang of guilt shot through Jaebum. He grabbed Miran and pulled her to him tightly. She was sobbing now and he pressed her face to his chest as his heart broke. “Don’t cry,” he begged her. “Baby, don’t cry. I don’t know what you’re thinking right now but leaving you is the last thing I want to do. I’m never leaving you again. I’m never letting you leave me again either.”

Miran sniffled as she pressed her face against his chest. She couldn’t look up at him and her words were a mess as she choked them out. “But- you- went to Busan and lied about it and-and you don’t want to live together after college-“

“I never said that. I said you shouldn’t give up Busan. It was your dream job and it means so much to you. I would hate myself if I was the reason you gave up an amazing opportunity in your career. These things don’t mean so much to me. I don’t care whether I’m in Seoul or Busan. I’ll be happy anywhere you are, baby.”

Miran sniffled. “But- you lied- you’ve never lied to me before-“

“I went to Busan that weekend to attend a couple of job interviews and drop off some resumes.” He took a deep breath and pulled Miran to him more tightly, pressing his cheek against her hair. “I wanted to be prepared in case you got that job so I applied for a couple in Busan myself. I didn’t want to freak you out. I thought it was something we should discuss in person and I wasn’t sure if you would want me to follow you to Busan so I waited to discuss it until now.”

Miran stared up at him, eyes red with tears. “You applied for jobs in Busan for me?”

He nodded. “Hmm.”

“Are you serious? If I went back and took that job in Busan, you would come along with me?”

Jaebum gave her a soft smile as he gently her cheek. It was pink from the cold and he rubbed his thumb over it. “Hmm. If you want to start a new life in Busan, then I want to start it with you. But I was afraid you would freak out if I said this over the phone. I didn’t want to push my boundaries.”

Miran hit him on the chest, more tears leaking out of her eyes. “We don’t have those kind of boundaries, you idiot.”

“I know. I’m sorry I freaked you out.”

“I-“ she sniffled, and stared up at him. “I can’t believe you would do that for me. You would seriously uproot yourself from your hometown for my job?”

“Babe, I can get a job wherever I go. I’ll find something. But I could stay in Seoul for a hundred years and still not find another girl like you.” He grinned as he realized how cheesy it sounded and even Miran managed to make a displeased face behind all her tears.

“Yuck.”

He laughed, embarrassed. “Yah. Let’s not be apart from each other again. I don’t like it.”

“I don’t like it either,” she whispered as she leaned up and pressed her lips to his. His hands wrapped around her, sliding under her coat and caressing her skin underneath. Miran felt a shiver down her spine as he her gently. She giggled through her tears and pulled away from him. “What are you doing? I was just crying right now, do you have no shame?”

Jaebum gave her a pleading look. “I know, babe, but it’s been months,” he groaned softly. “Isn’t make-up the hottest? I even got a little tipsy like you asked me to. I’ll go as rough as you want. Let’s go back to your apartment, baby.”

Miran gave him a playful smile. “Don’t be silly. We have to watch the fireworks.”

Jaebum groaned. “What? But there’s still plenty of time-“

“Nope. It’s tradition. We watch them every year and we are not leaving this park until I see some fireworks, so you can get that wandering hand of yours out of my coat. There are children and old people here.”

“Fine, fine…”  

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“I can’t believe you told Yeojung that Mark keeps a picture of her on his cellphone. He’s going to kill me.” Jaebum complained as Miran hung up the phone. She’d called to check up on Yeojung and ended up blurting out something she wasn’t supposed to. Then again, it was obvious that the two of them had some sort of unresolved feelings that they were too shy to admit.

Miran shrugged as she pocketed her phone. “I’m not feeling too guilty. Mark lied to me about where you were last weekend. Very badly, I might add.”

Jaebum chuckled. “Yah. Don’t hold a grudge against him. He’s my best friend.”

“As if you didn’t spend all evening avoiding eye-contact with Yeojung because you were embarrassed she saw you the night of the strip club incident.”

Jaebum paused. “Tell you what, let’s just avoid both of them forever.”

Miran giggled and leaned up to kiss him, just as the fireworks finally exploded in the sky above them. Jaebum glanced at his watch and noticed that it was midnight before leaning down to peck her lips again. Then he wrapped his arm around her gently as they both looked up at the explosion of colors in the sky. It was beautiful.

Jaebum looked down at Miran and smiled at the childlike expression on her face.

“Miran?”

“Hmm?” she glanced at him with a smile.

“Are you going to go back to Busan and take that job? Or are you going to apply for a different one in Seoul?” he asked gently.

Miran looked at the reflection of the colorful sky in Jaebum’s eyes and realized how much she loved him. She reached over and slid her hand into his, entwining their fingers together tightly.

“I don’t know yet, Jaebum-ah. But whatever it is, let’s always decide together, okay?”

He smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

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