The night begins to dawn upon the bright lit city, I myself take part in illuminating what the artificial light cannot reach. With the final wisps of orange and red, his job is done and so now I take my place in the sky. The city still bustles with action as my cool toned blanket envelopes the large buildings. The people are desperate to be home and in bed never truly appreciating the soft beauty I naturally provide for them.

There is only one who truly lives for my time, she is the one who never feels happier than at night. It is my great duty that I provide her comfort with my deep shades of the dawn.

I wait for her to return to her room that outlooks the fluorescent city life, that is when I can truly feel her heart. Her eagerness to see the night for what it is worth as she stares out her window. I watch her from afar but can hear her thoughts so clearly, how she would rather stay awake for these late hours than miss the deep night view.

Of course, there has been the occasional occurrence of nights where she does not wish to look to see my creation. The nights where her heart is heavy and she would want nothing more than to forget the tedious day she endured. On those nights I shine brighter than ever for her her burdened mind. I want to reiterate to her that she would never be alone. And it seemed to me that tonight just might have been one of those nights.

I see her tired body make it’s way through the room as she does not bother with her normal night time routine. No, tonight she would skip it all and rest her stiff figure heavily against her bright cotton sheets. I worry for her immensely so knowing she will come to regret this once morning arrives.

It is quite selfish of me really, how I wish she were happy just to allow me her loving gaze that night. But I know not all nights can be for me and tonight was to be about her, I would make sure of that.

While she lies tiredly against her bed I can feel her breathing start to become steady and slow. It is time for her to rest and for me to paint her the picture of her wildest dreams. Although I say tonight is for her I know I will also experience the beauty with her.

So now I wish to her a beautiful sleep; I shall meet you in your dreams.

 

---

 

Dozens of bright candles illuminate the expansive ballroom as I feel the train of my gown shadowing behind me. The soft glow of candlelight illuminates the masked faces turning and dancing across the room. Their skin is adorned with the glow of perspiration as they spin and turn with one another. There is hardly any room to see the floor amongst the many ruffled skirts as they dance along the dirtied wooden floors.

I am waiting for what has felt like hours where all I do is watch the beautiful smile of every duo dancing before me. Though I do not feel the weight of any burden standing here alone. Quite the contrary I feel the utmost satisfaction knowing all the patrons are enjoying themselves in my affair.

Or was it?

I can’t particularly recall what the occasion was for, or how I had come to be a part of it. All I had known was I felt elated and too wanted to dance in whatever honor we were celebrating.

I begin to pick at the heavy fabric of my pale yellow gown to allow me my steps throughout the ballroom, wishing desperately to find someone who would allow me the joy of dancing. Although I would not mind dancing with myself at this soiree it is a bit out of place to do so at these events.

I can feel the weight of my own eyelashes touch the mask around my face as I begin to search for an unaccompanied man. I take careful steps throughout the room not wanting to come between any dance routine. The large movements of the dancers' skirts waft the sweet smell of perfume to where I walk. Every step I take I hear a gentle clack against the floor, an oddly loud sound for any sort of shoes.

Curiously I gather my gown within my hands and raise the skirt just enough to see my footwear but careful to not show anything indecent. Although the slippers are hard to detect with the eye I notice that they are made of pure translucent glass that looks as if I could be walking on air. What might look uncomfortable to an onlooker eye, the truth was is that not only did it look as if I were walking on air, but it too felt as if I was wearing nothing.

I let the gown fall at my feet once again as I straighten back to my full height. I stand back straight and tall and see before me there to be an opening to a guest standing alone. Not one person blocks my clear direction to this man, I can not see him closely but I feel a certain pull towards him.

He stands with his back to me clad in a clean white tuxedo that certainly stands out amongst the crowd of other guests. From this view of him, I take notice of his slightly curled brown hair as it seemed to be spun from the finest materials.

I walk the empty route of the dance floor to the man whose back had been ly to move once the ringing of my heels hit the floor. Upon the melodic sounds, he spins and meets my eye.

The face, although covered too by a delicate white mask, is warm. Luckily I believe his best features could not be hidden beneath the offensive material. His delicate lips curl slightly at the way I had been staring, I too can’t help the soft smile that plays on my own features. His eyes, which should be concealed and are hard for me to see properly stand out greatly in my sight. This man carries soft long eyelashes that seem to sparkle against his dark irises every occasion that they move.

Although I could not feel the weight of my legs they had been moving unconsciously closer to the warm aura of this man. Until I am stopped just before him, I crane my neck upwards to keep my eye contact. I catch a small sense of his natural aroma and get hints of warmed vanilla and wood.

I can not feel any sense of communication enter my mind and he laughs softly. The sound so clear and angel like I feel my breath catch in my throat. He extends me a hand, answering my question from earlier on in the night as he silently requests a dance. I place my hand within his warm grasp and he tightens the grip before guiding me to the center of our dance floor.

All patrons make way for us as glide through as if we were the main events of this show. He stops and turns to me again while still grasping my hand in his, he places the other upon my hip and I feel a certain pounding in my heart. A steal a shy look to him questioning if I could do the same, he smiles tenderly and I guide my hand to his shoulder. As soon as I make contact with his white colored coat he tightens his grip pulling me closer to his figure.

My heart beats again, only this time faster as our faces are mere centimeters from each other. I am now wafted with a more intimate smell of him while I stand this close, the musky scent makes it hard to breathe with my pounding heart. Without a moment to lose I feel ourselves start to move slowly picking up the beat of the soft piano played throughout the home.

Our steps are light and in tune as we spin softly yet gracefully through the now empty floor. While still looking at the other I feel his hand that once rested on my hip had begun to move around as he hugs my body closer than before. I feel his soft breaths gently against my cheek as I drop our gaze being too embarrassed by the proximity.

I look around the room to see not only had people made way for us in the room but that we were now the only ones to be dancing. Not only that, we were the only two in the room.

Our spins take larger steps as we move freely throughout the space, somewhere within the soft classical music I hear the soft beat of his heart. The light sounds are drastic compared to my heavy beats. I look to him again and see that him staring lovingly at me.

I stop our dancing, wanting to know more about him. He does not look confused when I suddenly break our contact, most likely anticipating that I would like to know him more.

“What are we doing here?”

I ask him softly almost not able to hear the voice to my own words, he seems to be surprised with my first question, thinking I would ask him who he was before any other.

“We’re here for you,” he tells me happily and although the answer is vague I am very much pleased with being able to hear his deep honey-like voice.

With his answer, I take my head and rest it back into ourselves but this time taking the step to rest it above his heart.

And so we dance for what feels like hours, with my face tucked snuggly into him while he holds me close to his form. Our spins have become tamer this late into the night as we now just simply sway in each other's arms, not wanting to break the comfortable rhythm.

For reasons I can not find any explanation for we suddenly stop as he takes a step away from our embrace. With my hand still in his, he gives me a soft reassuring smile before tugging gently against me to follow his path.

I trail behind him only for a short moment until we come to open doors that lead to a beautiful veranda illuminated by the bright moon. He continues to gently pull me until we are both standing at the granite railings of the sturdy balcony.

At this height, I am awarded the beautiful night view of an extensive lake beyond the large castle we now stand in. The dark waters glitter with the soft specks of light from the stars in the night sky. But what is most beautiful about the scenery is the bright moon that seems much larger tonight than any other nights I have seen before.

“I’ve been wanting to see you like this for as long as I can remember.”

He quietly whispers these words out into the air around us and I turn to see him not bothering with the stunning night view like I had been. No his main focus was on me like it had been all night, I want him to see me... really be able to see me.

Gently I raise my hands behind my head to where I assume the knot to my mask would be located. As I find the bow I drop my head wanting to prepare a moment for myself before exposing my face to this beautiful stranger.

I breathe a second longer before shyly meeting his gaze. Behind his mask I see his eyes widen only a fraction before settling back into his soft warm look. His lips curl before he starts to speak again.

“You’re even more gorgeous than I envisioned.”

The end of his statement is followed by a breathy laugh as if he was just as stunned as I was to hear these words. Normally at these words, I would begin to feel an overwhelming heat take over my face... but for him, I feel at ease.

I have limited words to describe the energy he produces, but the strongest one I have felt since the start of this night is just, comfortable. The way he shines down upon me with such a tranquil light outshines any burdens I could possibly feel. His fair and radiant energy has piqued my interest in him all night.

Unconsciously I take a step closer to him, thinking that maybe I could receive more of his angelic energy. He responds to my step by making eye contact once again and placing his hand softly over mine which had been resting against the cool railing.

“Let me see you,” I insinuate my wanting for his mask to be removed like I had done with mine.

He swallows nervously and takes a step away from me effectively breaking the warm surrounding we had created for ourselves. He turns away from me as I see him begin to contemplate what he was to do within his mind.

For the first time that night I had commenced to optically discern an incipient side to this cryptic man. It is hard to describe the feeling that seemed to pour from him but if I had to conjecture; hesitation?

He seems to make the decision rather quickly for himself perhaps he had told himself that he can endure through his nerves. I see his tanned hands make their way to the knot that also resided under his dark brown locks of hair. Carefully with his back still towards me, he releases the white mask from his sun-kissed face.

He holds the light colored material in his hands as he turns back to me, finally allowing me to bask in all his beauty.

A man adorned with tanned skin that seemed to be almost glowing with its soft beauty, his thick dark hair only complimented his face in the best way possible. But surprisingly these all were not his best features, teasingly they had been hidden all night from his costume. Never in all my years have I been met with the most delicate dark eyes that just so happened to be framed with thick lashes.

He was almost too beautiful to make complete eye contact with. If this man felt any other way besides utterly comforting, I would have looked away. But he was ever so captivating I could feel myself just staring for however many minutes.

Without any words, I could only do what I thought at the time to be the most appropriate reaction to his revealing. The hand that had once been grasping mine the entirety of the night hung limply at his side until I move to hold it within my much smaller hand.

I take a step closer to him expecting some sort of reaction of disdain from his features. I am once again surprised by this man as he not only looks pleased by my actions but also takes his steps closer into me. He moves his other hand and cups my cheek within his palm still not breaking his intense eye contact.

With the soft warmth from his hand, he searches my eyes only for a moment to ask if I was truly okay with his intimacy in this moment. I pray to God that my eyes can portray the want that I feel within my heart.

Suddenly his eyes flutter to a close as he inches closer to my awaiting lips. With the new visual of his long lashes laying gently on his cheekbones I forget to close my eyes as I feel his lips touch mine. A jolt from the kiss has me reacting fastly as I screw my eyes close and focus on his kiss.

His lips are heavenly against mine as he softly massages my lips, I try to reiterate his tenderness with my own. His lips replicate the taste of warmth along with the pillowy feel to his skin. I sigh longingly into his mouth as my heart feels heavily affected by the intimate feeling.

His head turns as our kiss deepens, his lips move faster but still have great care in their intentions. I start to feel the hand that cupped my face make its way behind my head. While there he begins to softly massage the back of my neck with his hand. An appreciative moan leaves my throat and I feel his smile against my lips.

The night is seemingly silent, no sounds can be heard beside the soft smack of our lips entangled in perfect harmony. The of our embrace are perfectly accompanied by the dark night sky as I wish for nothing more than to have more of this man.

This man, the utterly perfect yet totally mysterious person that just so happened to hold my attention all through the night. And yet, he felt entirely comforting, like a long lost friend.

He was mysterious and unfortunately, that was all I would get to know from him.

 

---

 

With the lightening of my night sky, I know my time with her must come to an end. As I look to her again it eases my worried mind to still see the soft smile upon her sleeping face. If she is happy with the world I can create for her, that is enough for me.

But oh how I wish I could be selfish, how I would want no more than to encompass my old form and tell her how she meant to I. That I could tell her that as much as she feels alone in this world that I was always there.

For every moment that I spent with her... shined. Because the weather was good, because the weather was bad and because the weather was good enough. I loved every moment of it.

But now I can see the slow rise of my brother taking his position for the light all the people seem to love. I was envious of him, that he got to see her through it all, and how I only received her affected self.

However, I know my role is important for these people, how they truly do appreciate the life I give. The beautiful dreams I try to write for them, although they know not from where they come, they are beholden.

My only wish was that as the sun rises I would not become forgotten as I so often do. I would pray that she would think about my role within her mind and know this was my message all along.

To let her know I was always there in the dreams that will are always forgotten.

 

---

 

The bright morning sun is the first sign of me coming to my conscious self. The second would be the horrible feeling of me not caring to do clean up before deciding to sleep in my jeans and thick makeup. I close my eyes tightly while turning away from the glaring morning sun.

I sit up and begin to stretch and rub the parts of my body that are currently trying to get revenge for my careless sleeping position.

“You’re even more gorgeous than I envisioned.”

I widen my eyes at the reminiscent memory from my nightime fantasy. The vivid flashback snaps me back into my annual assignments every morning.

Hurriedly I stand to my feet still feeling the weighing of my sore muscles telling me I shouldn’t be moving as much as I am. But I know the importance of my task at hand.

I approach my small desk located in the corner of my bedroom and open the top drawer in a very hasty manner. I don’t need to look far before I find one of my many large “recalling books” as I like to call them.

I grab my most recent one and flip to a new blank page. I skip writing the date as I know these memories come by fast and can leave at any second.

I write everything I can remember about my night.

The sights, smells, feelings, sounds and just about any other detail I can juice out of my short-lived fairytale. While writing the undeniable pang of hurt tries to creep its way into my excited heart and I try my hardest to put off the sadness for when my passage is acceptable.

Eventually, my hand is cramped and my memories have been properly drained before I feel the need to be satisfied with my work. I sit back in my desk chair and try to calm my overwhelming heart.

My mind is scattered from the overhaul of information I tried to recall so early in the morning. I can feel my head pound as I sit for awhile just enjoying the lingering memories I kept to myself. While in the bright sunlight I wish again to be bathed in night.

While leaning back in the hard desk chair I realize the importance of my personal hygiene. I stand up from my chair and make my way across my light wooden floor to a much-needed shower.

As I flip the fluorescent bathroom light on I make no effort to even see the horrible state I was in. Instead, I just opt to stay with my back turned to the mirror before entering the shower.

I go to peel yesterday’s outfit off from my body before I move to turn the valve on for the shower. While waiting for the water to become an appropriate temperature I make sure to first brush out the knots held in my hair.

Now I stand and I step my way into the tiled steam and move quickly under the hot stream of clean water. Luckily with the temperature of the water, I was not only cleaning myself but was now relieved of my still sore muscles from this morning.

Taking my lavender scented body wash I apply it to the parts of my body that need the most cleaning. The delicate fragrance hits my nose and I am allowed a moment of peace while in the gentle sounding shower. I scrub the makeup and dirt from my body and also mix in a few deep rubbing motions into my neck and shoulders.

“I begin to feel the hand that cupped my face make its way behind my head while there he begins to softly massage the back of my neck with his hand.”

I stop my moving hands at this sudden memory of last night. The feeling that was too real, too much to just be called a dream.

I push it from my mind still needing a proper cleanse of my body, I scrub the last of dirt from me and sit rinsing underneath the silver faucet. Now with my clean body and eased muscles, I am starting to feel the one thing I didn’t want to deal with this morning.

This heartache.

The tip of my nose begins to tickle as I feel the all too familiar tears pool in my eyes. As much as this happened to me you would think my heart could handle it by now. But if I was really telling the truth, it just got harder every morning.

I turn to shut off the running water wanting also to have my pain end like the hot current of water. Desperately wanting to keep with this robotic pace I quickly open the shower door and step out into the cool air of the bathroom. I grab two towels from the accompanying rack, one for drying my hair and the other for my body.

The steam from the shower has made a foggy overlay on the mirror against the white wall. Truthfully I am grateful to have time to pat dry my hair before being met with my drained appearance. My hair is left silky and smooth from the floral conditioner I had used as I leave the rest of my hair to dry naturally.

All too soon I am met with my clear bare face staring back at me as I finish lightly drying my clean hair. I turn again returning the towel to its original hook among the shower rack and now truly have nothing to do.

Nothing to distract me from this heavy feeling in my chest. I can hardly breathe while I stand in the humid steam of my bathroom. But something tells me it is not the steam I should blame.

It’s funny if you met me you would think I have such a strong shell around my feelings. And honestly that much is true. I allow myself to feel pain, I really do, it’s just that these feelings are... different.

Before when experiencing my hurt or sadness I am always one to have a quick and sure explanation to why I was feeling the way. But for the first time, I truly have no idea what kind of hurt I am dealing with.

The feeling of this loneliness from someone who doesn’t even exist within my grasps. This person- or rather man, that comes to me almost every night and doesn’t leave my mind during the day. This man who I have fallen in complete and utter love with and yet... I will never know him.

Maybe it was the fact that I still held water to my skin from my shower that I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes. Only until I see my swollen complexion in the mirror that I really notice the emptiness to my being.

I can feel the sobs beginning to form inside my chest as I cup a hand against my mouth hoping maybe I could return them from where they came. It is no use as I am now shaking from the loud cries that want so badly to break the surface of my skin. It is useless to let my cries go on any longer as I know that I have no words of comfort for myself.

I sniff loudly trying to pull what self I had left together. I look to the ceiling hoping any new tears will be pulled back due to the harsh angle. I wipe my face before removing the towel from my body and instead wrap my bathrobe around my slightly chilled frame.

I exit the bathroom a little less put together than I had originally entered. I look around my small bedroom at the small messes here and there not really knowing what my next step should be.

The fine dust that had accumulated in my room throughout the months make soft streams of light throughout the room. One, in particular, seemed to be shining with more power from the sun than the others. My eyes follow the dust light and I almost have the nerve to roll my eyes at its destination.

Lying haphazardly open is my recallment book still wet with ink from my most recent entry. Most of my reasons for approaching the book again have to do with the fact that I am aware I had forgotten to add the date of last night’s memory.

Or so I tell myself.

Softly I step my bare feet across the soft wooden floor to my desk to retrieve the thick notebook. Still standing I flip to the page I had been working on before, I grab the pen next to the book and jot down today’s date.

I am about to put down the book but can’t help the wanting in my heart that asks me to stay with it longer. Curiously I flip to one of the first pages in the book trying to find when it was that I really started to take notice of the man I have only known in dream.

Five years.

I close my eyes when I see the oldest date in the book that had mentioned the beautiful stranger I met. I look at the page again to see how we spent our first time together. Only in this scenario he was no masked prince nor was I a beautiful princess.

Instead, we were lovers sitting lovingly amongst hundreds of flowers lying with one another and talking, about everything but then again about absolutely nothing.

Although that was my first dream with the man... I can still remember it so clearly that I really have no need for these books.

The smell of the sweet flowers that cradled our cuddled bodies while the shade from the old willow tree shaded our eyes. The gentle sound of wind accompanied with a soft river from far away. I remember the warm feeling of him lying against me while I played with his delicate hair. While he just rested with me and spoke softly of many things, all of which I can never forget.

“I have known you for longer than you think... and I have loved you more than you will ever know.

There is hardly a memory of mine that I have where I am not loving you.

If this is all you choose to remember I need you to remember this one thing.

That this love of mine had no beginning and it has no end.

I am always with you.”