Part 3

Dear Ms. Jung Eunha and Mr. Park Jinyoung,

We are pleased to inform you that your research paper has been selected to be presented at the 2017 Hong Kong Conference on Comparative Constitutional Law on 29^th October. We received a number of entries this year and our editorial panel found your research paper to be of particularly excellent quality and raising some very important issues.

Please find attached an invitation to the conference and a brochure with the travel details. We request you to send your confirmation within 48 hours of receipt of this e-mail, failing which the next eligible candidates will be offered the opportunity.

We hope to see you soon in Hong Kong!

Eunha felt her head spin when she opened the email. The conference and the research paper had completely slipped out of her mind in the middle of all the mess with Jinyoung, and she suddenly felt stupid. How could you be such an idiot? You worked for this for months.

But the question remained- how the hell was she going to go to Hong Kong with Park Jinyoung? She hadn’t seen his face since the night at her apartment. He’d been doing a good job of avoiding her and even Eunha had decided against actively searching him out. Suzy thought she was crazy. Hunt him down and demand an explanation! Her roommate had insisted. But Eunha couldn’t do that. What use would it be? Jinyoung had read the message; her messaging app had told her as much.

Whatever his reasons were, Eunha was positive that she didn’t want to hear them. Hearing him say it out loud- I don’t think of you that way, I think that night was a mistake- they would only make things more real and ugly. She wanted to avoid a confrontation as much as possible. Maybe that way she could pretend that it hadn’t meant anything to her either.

Maybe that way, even though her heart was broken, her dignity might be spared.

But as she walked out of her Criminal Law class, she realized that she couldn’t avoid Park Jinyoung forever. This conference still tied them together and it was too important to throw away. You can’t ignore the conference because of a boy. You’ll hate yourself if you do. You’re not that weak. That’s right. Jung Eunha was not weak enough to be sidetracked from her academic goals by a brief romantic failure. She stood outside Park Jinyoung’s Economics class and waited for him to come out.

He came, and Eunha felt her resolve drop.

Jinyoung didn’t notice her at first. He was fumbling with some binders in his arms and trying to stuff one of them into his bag while walking at the same time. It wasn’t until Eunha shakily called out his name that he froze in his tracks and lifted his head to look at her.

“Park Jinyoung.”

His eyes were wide and he looked startled, like a deer caught in headlights. Eunha had almost expected him to ignore her or treat her rudely, like most men did with one-night stands they wanted nothing more to do with. But Park Jinyoung looked more like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“N-noona,” he mumbled quietly. His eyes were darting back and forth, looking anywhere but at her, for some form of escape-

“I got an email from the conference coordinators. They invited us to present our paper in Hong Kong. We got selected, basically,” she said calmly. She had repeated the words in her head at least four times before saying them, which was the only reason why they came out smoothly. 

He blinked. “Oh. That’s- um, that’s great.”

“I’m going to meet with my Constitutional Law professor at 3 p.m. today to let him know, and to ask him how we can go about getting the university to sponsor our trip. You should probably come along.”

Jinyoung nodded briefly. “R-right. Sure.”

Eunha took a deep, shaky breath and then stepped back from him. She’d said all that she had to say. She paused and waited for a few seconds- giving him a chance to say something- anything- but Jinyoung only stood still, one hand inside his backpack, the other balancing binders under him arm. As the silence grew awkward, Eunha was faced with the sinking realization that this was it- the conversation was over, nothing had happened, he wasn’t going to say anything.

She had already turned around, when she heard him.

“Noona,” he said gently.

Eunha whirled back around, but Jinyoung was already shaking his head. He cleared his throat and finished stuffing his binders into his bag before straightening up. His expression was calmer than before. He adjusted his glasses on his face.

“I’ll- I’ll meet you outside the Professor’s office at 3, then,” he said. 

Eunha felt her heart sink. It was too late to mask her expressions, Jinyoung had probably already seen the disappointment in her face, the vulnerability in her eyes. She swallowed the lump in and nodded. “Yeah. 3 o’clock,” she choked out.

She turned away so that Park Jinyoung wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes and hurried away from him as quickly as she could.

Was it so easy to forget something happened?

Could a relationship really crumble in complete silence?

 Was Park Jinyoung capable of tearing her heart to shreds without saying a single word?

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“You guys are acting really weird. Are you sure you’re okay?” Jaebum demanded.

They’d met up at the local pub to share a couple of drinks the night before Jinyoung and Eunha left for Hong Kong. Jaebum had somehow found out about their conference paper getting selected- Eunha wasn’t sure how, because she certainly hadn’t told him. Judging by the way Jinyoung had been wordlessly nursing the same beer for over an hour and staring at the table, it probably hadn’t been him, either. Most likely Wonpil had opened his mouth to Sungjin and Sungjin had mentioned it to Jaebum.

“Fine,” Eunha forced a smile on her face.

“Are you sure? I haven’t heard from either of you since the night of the baseball tournament. Did anything happen?” Jaebum pressed, eyes narrowed. He had always been sharp about such things and he could tell that something was wrong.

Eunha suddenly felt a burst of irritation. Why did she have to sit here and tolerate this awkwardness? Wasn’t it all Jinyoung’s fault? Wondering what Jinyoung would do if she really opened and told Jaebum everything that had happened, she decided to challenge him. “Actually, funny story,” she said sharply, giving Jinyoung a cold look. “A lot happened, we actually-“

Jinyoung cut her off. “We’ve been really busy with the conference work. We haven’t slept in a while,” he blurted out. Eunha scoffed internally at the way he had neatly covered it up. Obviously he didn’t want Jaebum to know that he had slept with his ex-girlfriend and then stopped talking to her. “In fact, noona, we should probably head back and get some sleep since we go to the airport tomorrow-“

Eunha rolled her eyes. “Really? Our plane isn’t until late afternoon. I think I’m going to get a little more drunk.”

Jinyoung looked distressed, but Eunha felt slightly victorious as she raised her hand and called out for more beer. Jaebum seemed bewildered as he ordered more alcohol for himself as well.

“Is Seoyeon feeling better?” Eunha asked casually. “I heard she came down with the flu. I hope you’re taking care of her.”

Jaebum chuckled. “Maybe a little too much. She actually kicked me out of her apartment because I was annoying her. That’s why I called you guys. I didn’t think that you both would be all doom and gloom. She’s sleeping now, but I’ll go back to her after another drink.”

“You should, she probably didn’t mean to kick you out.”

Jaebum nodded as their drinks arrived and he lifted his glass. “Yup. Just one more. To my nerdy friend and dongsaeng who can apparently write research papers worth being presented in Hong Kong while I can barely scrape a passing grade in my Literature class. Thanks, guys.”

They clinked their glasses together lightly, and Jaebum finished the entire beer in two gulps. He let out a relieved breath and then slammed his glass on the table, getting up. He grinned down at Jinyoung and Eunha, looking a little more buzzed than before. “Okay, I’m going to head out, I have a sick girlfriend to take care of. You guys should really sort out whatever you’re dealing with because you’re clearly having some sort of a fight.”

Jinyoung tensed. “We’re not-“

“Bye, Jaebum!” Eunha called out as he left the pub. She felt a sudden burst of irritation as she looked at Jinyoung sitting silently across from her. How could he sit there as if he was completely innocent, as if they were really just two friends who wrote a conference paper together? “I wouldn’t have told Jaebum what really happened,” she blurted out.

Jinyoung stiffened. “What?”

“But you seemed pretty determined that he shouldn’t find out. Why? Because you don’t want him to know that you’re a ty human being in general? Or because you think he’ll be mad that you slept with his ex-girlfriend?” she demanded. Eunha scoffed, the alcohol pushing her to continue her rant. The idea struck her so suddenly, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of it before. “Is that what it is? Is it because I used to date Jaebum? I’m used goods, your hyung already had me, is that it?” she demanded.

Jinyoung’s eyes were wide. “No,” he whispered.

“Are you sure? Because that’s how I feel,” Eunha replied. She could feel her voice cracking. “I feel used, Park Jinyoung. I feel really- ing- used.”

“Noona, you’re drunk, we should get out of here.” He reached out to take her hand but she jerked away from him in disgust. She didn’t want him to touch her. She would never let Park Jinyoung touch her again. It didn’t matter how he looked at her with those deep eyes, how gentlemanly he behaved. She would never let him inside her again.

“Guys like you are the worst, Park Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung was silent. His hands were trembling slightly as he clutched his glass of beer. He’d barely taken two sips out of it, but he suddenly pushed it away from himself and turned to look at her. There was something in his eyes- shame, maybe guilt, Eunha wasn’t sure. She didn’t let herself look too deeply.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

Eunha scoffed. She couldn’t sit here, couldn’t listen to him. She didn’t want his stupid belated apologies. Whether he felt guilty or not, the fact remained that he had used her for and that was enough to make her feel humiliated. Park Jinyoung was not the man she thought he was and that realization struck her deeply. “Your apologies mean to me,” she told him as she got up from her seat.

“Noona...”

“What?”

“If… if you don’t want me to come to Hong Kong then I won’t come. I understand that you probably don’t want to see me right now, much less take a trip abroad with me,” he blurted. The words came tumbling out of his mouth too fast, as though he’d been holding them in for a long time.

Eunha raised her eyebrows at him sharply. “If you don’t present the paper, you won’t be credited. It’ll all become worthless.”

“I know. But it’s… it’s okay,” he said quietly. “I don’t mind. I don’t want to give you more pain.”

 Eunha felt a burst of anger spike through her. What the was he trying to say? Her eyes flashed as she glared down at him. Jinyoung was sitting quietly in his seat, hands folded in his lap as he hung his head slightly. “So, what?” she demanded. “You’re going to let me take the entire credit for the research paper you wrote? Thanks for the drunken , here, you can have my research paper in exchange and let’s call it even?” she hissed at him.

Jinyoung recoiled in shock. “What? No!”

“That’s what it sounds like,” she replied firmly. Eunha clenched her fists. She almost felt dizzy from the anger and she spat out her words. “You hurt my feelings Park Jinyoung, and you can’t make it up to me by throwing that stupid research paper at me. I’m not going to forgive you that easily. I don’t want the stupid credit for your stupid work. So you had better come to Hong Kong, present the paper with me like we originally planned and then live with yourself knowing that you ed over somebody who genuinely cared about you and that you’re a piece of .”

Jinyoung stared up at her with wide eyes, his lips slightly parted. His voice cracked. “Noona…”

“I’ll see you at the airport. Do us both a favor and don’t be late.”

Eunha walked out of the bar. She was vaguely certain that she heard the sound of glass smashing as she walked out, but she refused to turn around. She wouldn’t look at him again, that was for sure.

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It was painfully awkward, as expected.

They barely talked on the flight in, only speaking to compare their notes and discuss who was going to handle which parts of the presentation. Jinyoung spent most of the plane ride silently re-reading his notes to himself. Eunha watched his lips move soundlessly, wondering how a seemingly simple sunbae-hoobae relationship with Jinyoung had become so complicated and ugly.

Nah. You made it complicated when you fell in love with him. You should have been prepared for the rejection. Eunha watched Park Jinyoung from the aisle seat silently, wondering how she had missed such a large part of him. Most of her anger towards him had dissipated after the outburst last night. Now she was only left with a dull sort of self-loathing at having let herself be used. You let yourself get weak. You wouldn’t have let any other guy you that way, but you got weak because it was Jinyoung. Never again.

“What happened to your hand?” Eunha couldn’t help but ask, as she saw him fumbling with his seatbelt. There was a bandage wrapped around some of the fingers of his right hand.

“I… I accidentally broke a glass,” he admitted quietly. He finally managed to click the seatbelt into place.

“Isn’t that your right hand? How are you going to take notes during the conference?” she asked sharply.

“Uh, I can write with my left hand. Or else I’ll type them out on my tablet-“

“Forget it. I’ll take the notes. You focus on the presentation.”

Jinyoung turned to look at her, wordlessly. His mouth opened and closed as though he wanted to say something but he kept silent. He merely gave Eunha a small nod before turning to face the window. The flight passed by in painful silence.

Eunha was certain that she’d never spent a more uncomfortable 3 hours in her life.

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The conference turned out to be rather interesting. At least for the few hours that she was listening to other people present their papers, Eunha was able to forget about Jinyoung and focus on the interesting ideas that were being presented. Within a few hours she had filled up pages and pages of notes, intending to share the ideas with her professor when she returned to Seoul. He would surely ask about what she’d learned.

Jinyoung sat next to her, struggling to type into his tablet PC with his left hand. Despite his handicap, Eunha noticed that he had taken down a lot. No wonder. He wasn’t the type of person to let silly things affect his concentration when it came to academics. Eunha briefly envied his dedication. She wished she could separate her emotions from her work as easily as Jinyoung seemed to.

Eunha let her hands slip as she scribbled down her notes, and some of her sheets of paper fluttered to the floor. She glanced around quickly to make sure she hadn’t disturbed anyone sitting around her, before leaning down to pick them up. The man sitting on her other side rushed to help her. She forced a smile at him as he handed her the sheets.

“Thank you,” she whispered to him gratefully.

He smiled back. Eunha realized that the man was quite young; he was probably also a college student and his English was extremely fluent when he replied to her. “Not a problem. It would be a pity to lose these notes after you took the efforts to write them,” he replied quietly. He held out his hand for her to shake under the table. “I’m Simon. And you are?”

“Eunha,” she replied. She could tell that Jinyoung had stopped typing and was listening intently to their conversation. Out of politeness, she decided to introduce him as well. “And this is Jinyoung. We’re from Seoul University.”

Simon nodded. “Ah… you’re Korean. Well, welcome to Hong Kong, then. It’s a pleasure to have you here. I would ask if you’ve looked around the city yet but seeing at the dedication with which you made those notes, I think you’re only here for the conference.”

Eunha nodded. She had spent the evening after they landed in Hong Kong locked up in her hotel room, preparing for the conference. Part of her wondered if she would have gone out and explored the city with Jinyoung if they were still on good terms, but there was no use thinking about such things. She didn’t even care much about Hong Kong anymore. She was just waiting for the conference to be over so she could go home. “Uh, no, we haven’t. I don’t really know anything here or the local language, so..”

Simon beamed. “That’s a shame. Maybe after the conference is over tonight, I can show you some of the best places. It would be a pity to leave Hong Kong without looking around.”

Jinyoung shot Eunha a sharp look. She didn’t have to read too deep into it to know what he was trying to convey to her with his eyes. This guy is shady. Don’t do it. Eunha felt a burst of irritation towards Jinyoung. Who was he to tell her what to do or what not to do? All the same, she wasn’t stupid. Eunha didn’t need Park Jinyoung to tell her that going off with an unknown person in a foreign country where she didn’t even know the language wasn’t a smart idea. “Oh, I don’t have much time. We fly out early tomorrow morning, so…”

Simon was persistent. “Have one drink with me, then. I’ve heard Korean women can really hold their liquor.”

Eunha felt a burst of irritation. Wasn’t that a rather inappropriate thing to say? She forced a smile at him. “Like I said, I really don’t think I have the time to be going anywhere after the conference.”

Simon leaned closer to her. “You don’t need to worry so much. I have a car, I can drop you off in time for your flight. Trust me, I’m a Hong Kong local, I know the best places to take you. You won’t be late for your flight.”

Eunha forced a smile. “I don’t think it’s a very good idea. And I don’t want to leave Jinyoung alone, so…”

Simon chuckled. “Surely Jinyoung can handle being by himself for one night.”

“I can’t, actually,” Jinyoung replied. He sounded perfectly calm as he said it, barely glancing at Simon. Eunha wouldn’t have known that he was irritated if she hadn’t seen that his fist was clenched tightly around his tablet. “Maybe we can all go together. Unless you were going someplace that I wouldn’t be able to join you?” he challenged calmly.

Eunha paused, waiting to see how Simon would react to this. He looked a little put out, but shrugged. “Sure, you can come along. There’s a watering hole not far from here that all the locals are crazy about. Why don’t you give me your number, Eunha, and I’ll text you the address?”

Jinyoung promptly picked up his untouched notepad and ripped a piece of paper out of it. “No need for that, there’s plenty of paper here. You can write it down right now.”

Simon sighed. “Or I can just come pick you guys up from whatever hotel you’re staying at-“

Jinyoung was firm. “I’d really rather you wrote it down.”

Eunha felt her stomach turn as she saw the tight-lipped expression on  Jinyoung’s face. He wasn’t directly saying anything, but she could tell that he was doing this for her benefit. She couldn’t stop the flutter in her heart at the way Jinyoung always knew how to handle situations like this. He took care of her without making a big deal of it and it suddenly made her feel miserable.

You read into his actions too much. This is what got you into this situation, she reminded herself. Jinyoung wasn’t doing this for her. It was believing that he cared enough to do stupid things like that which had made her fall for him. She wouldn’t let herself go down that route.

Eunha took a deep breath and tried to turn her attention back to the conference. Meanwhile, Simon half-heartedly wrote down the address to a nearby pub on the scrap of paper Jinyoung had given him.

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Their paper presentation went surprisingly well. Jinyoung had always been fluent at speaking, and he managed to present their ideas very smoothly. Eunha was no less than him- she was proud of herself for being able to answer some tricky questions that a few of the panel members had asked them, and their paper received a good response in general. In all, it had been a good day and Eunha was feeling satisfied.

They had just entered the lobby of the hotel they were staying at, when Jinyoung suddenly turned to her.

“Are we really going to go meet that Simon guy at that pub?” he asked suddenly, cutting into the awkward silence that almost constantly hovered between them. Eunha blinked and took a few seconds to remember what Jinyoung was talking about. Their paper presentation had occupied her mind and she’d almost forgotten about Simon.

“Oh. Right, Simon,” she muttered. Eunha was tired and she didn’t know if it was really a good idea to go with that guy. But some part of her wouldn’t allow her to admit that. “Sure. I’ll go. He was nice enough to invite us. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

Eunha honestly had no intention of going to meet Simon alone. But she was curious to see how Jinyoung would react- and to her surprise, he bit his lip and said firmly. “No, I want to come too. I’ll get changed and we can meet in the lobby in half an hour.”

Eunha felt her head spinning as she got dressed quickly. Was she going too far with this? She didn’t really want to meet Simon; she knew that he probably just wanted to get her in bed and she wasn’t interested in sleeping with him. But she was desperate to know how Jinyoung would behave. If she decided to leave with Simon at the end of the night, would he let her? Deep inside she wanted to believe that he wouldn’t let her, that he cared about her enough to at least not sit quietly as she slept with anyone else. With a slightly nauseous feeling in her stomach, she came out into the lobby where Jinyoung was already waiting for her. He was dressed in jeans and one of his usual sweaters, glasses perched on his nose.

“There are a lot of cabs outside,” he told Eunha as she approached. “We can go out and catch one.”

“Sure.”

They waited in the cab in awkward silence, after having shown the driver the slip of paper that Simon had written the address out on. As promised, it turned out to be a rather large pub. It was a weeknight so it wasn’t too crowded. They had barely taken a few steps inside when Simon, who had been waiting near the entrance, spotted them.

“Eunha!” he called out happily, coming over to give her a hug in greeting. She stiffened a little as he wrapped his arms around her in a too-friendly manner. Simon then turned briefly to glance at her companion. “Joonyoung,” he greeted more calmly.

Jinyoung bristled. “It’s Jinyoung.”

“Right, right, sorry. I’m glad you guys turned up! It’s kind of quiet in here, but not many tourists know about this place. I thought you’d appreciate a relaxing drink after that stuffy conference, huh?” he asked with a grin. Eunha bit her lip and followed Simon quietly to the bar. He was getting more and more obnoxious by the minute and she was wondering why she was even here. She wouldn’t have come if Jinyoung hadn’t brought it up. “What do you want to drink?” Simon asked.

Eunha shrugged. “I don’t know. What’s good here?”

“Have you ever tried baijiu? It’s traditional Chinese liquor, maybe you should give it a shot,” Simon mused, as he turned to the bartender to place an order for the three drinks. Eunha glanced towards Jinyoung, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was watching Simon handle the drinks with intense concentration. Eunha wondered why he was staring at the drinks so hard, when she suddenly realized. He’s making sure Simon doesn’t spike them. Eunha felt her stomach turn slightly as Simon handed her the drink. “Tell me what you think of it’s taste, eh?”

Eunha took a sip and winced. “I guess it’s kind of like vodka.”

“This one’s a little stronger, though. Don’t hesitate to drink up, we can always order more,” Simon said with a small wink. Jinyoung took a tiny sip of the liquor and then set it aside. He wasn’t going to drink, the last thing he wanted to do was get drunk in such a situation. Simon noticed and patted him on the back.

“Not much of a drinker, buddy?”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea for me to get drunk when we have a flight early the next morning,” JInyoung replied simply. His eyes flickered towards Eunha. “Maybe I’m just overly cautious that way. And since noona plans to drink, I think I should stay sober.”

Simon laughed. “Yah. Don’t worry about your noona. I’ll take care of her if she gets drunk.”

Jinyoung forced a smile. “Sure, you will.”  

Eunha felt miserable. Simon continued to be his obnoxious self for most of the night, and time seemed to trickle by slowly. Jinyoung was of no help. He didn’t leave Eunha’s side even for a second but he stayed quiet, taking small sips of his glass of water and watching Simon with hawk eyes. Eunha wasn’t sure why she was even here and soon she started to feel a headache set in. Jinyoung waited until Simon went to the bathroom to speak.

“Noona, it’s getting late. We should go. If we stay here longer, this guy is clearly going to try to get you to go home with him,” he said quietly, sounding irritated.

Eunha knew that Jinyoung was right. But she merely took a sip of her drink and shrugged. “So what if he does? You think I can’t handle myself?”

“I just don’t think we should get into that situation. He won’t let go without a fight and things could get ugly.”

Eunha’s eyes flashed. “What if I want to go with him, Park Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung looked at her in disbelief. She could read the look in her eyes as if they were written in letters. Really? You really want to go home with this guy? Are you kidding? Jinyoung bit his lip and took a deep breath before speaking. He was trying to keep his tone soft. “I would tell you that it’s a bad idea.”

“And what if I said that I don’t care what you think?”

“I would say that the Jung Eunha I know is capable of making her own decisions. I would trust you to do whatever you think is best,” Jinyoung replied quietly. There was a challenge in his eyes and Eunha felt sick. Jinyoung knew. Jinyoung knew that she would never go off alone with Simon, he knew that she was just doing this to irritate him. She suddenly felt cornered and exhausted. She didn’t want to play this game anymore.

“Let’s go,” she said quietly, picking up her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. She didn’t care enough to say goodbye to Simon, knowing that Jinyoung was right and that he wouldn’t let her leave without a fight. Eunha quietly paid their tab and then headed out of the pub, waving for a cab. Jinyoung was right on her heels and he opened the car door for her as she got inside.

The ride back to the hotel was silent and uncomfortable. Eunha almost wanted to jump out of the car. She didn’t want to sit here, couldn’t bear to be next to Jinyoung anymore. Was he laughing at her? At this pathetic girl who thought she’d had a chance with someone like him and gotten her heart broken? Had Jinyoung been amusing himself the whole night, knowing that Eunha hated guys like Simon but that she was pretending to like him to make him jealous? Was he enjoying himself? She suddenly felt a rush of humiliation- even stronger than the one she’d felt when she realized Jinyoung had left her in the middle of the night- and tears pricked her eyes. Why was she such a mess? How had she brought herself down so low?

Eunha nearly dived out of the taxi once it skidded to a stop outside their hotel. She didn’t care whether Jinyoung had enough money to pay for the cab fare, she just had to get away from him. But the alcohol betrayed her; she stumbled over her heels in the hotel lobby. There was a loud cracking noise as she slipped- for a brief moment she wondered if her ankle had snapped before seeing the pointed part of her heel lying a foot away. The heel had broken off and she had fallen down on the floor.

Eunha closed her eyes in humiliation. This could not get any worse.

One of the hotel staff members rushed to help her, but Jinyoung was there within seconds. “Noona!” he sounded concerned. He grabbed her arm and helped her to her feet, kneeling down quickly to see if her ankle was okay. She flinched as she felt his fingers touch her leg and jerked away from him.

“I’m fine,” she snapped, waving away both Jinyoung and the concerned hotel staff. “I’m fine. I can walk. I’m going up to my room now, thank you.”

She slipped off her other shoe and limped to the elevator barefoot. Jinyoung got in beside her and pressed the button for their floor, watching her anxiously. Eunha kept her gaze firmly away from him. The moment the doors opened, she limped towards her hotel room door and fumbled with the key card. Jinyoung stood quietly behind her, watching her.

“What do you want?” she demanded in exasperation, as she fumbled to find the key card in her purse. She shot him a slight glare. “Your room is over there, why are you standing out in the hallway?”

Jinyoung looked unaffected by her tone. “Noona, your ankle looks swollen. They probably have a physician in the hotel, we should call him-“

“Can you please ing stop?”

Jinyoung flinched. “What?”

“Stop all this drama,” Eunha hissed, feeling the frustration rise up inside of her. She couldn’t contain it. Tears had sprung into her eyes and she was sure that Jinyoung saw them. But she was tired and she couldn’t take it anymore. “Can you please stop pretending to care?  You’ve been trying to act like some sort of gentleman all night, but it sickens me. You know why? Because you’re even worse than sleazy guys like Simon. At least with guys like that, you know that they’re never going to call you again and that they’re just . But you pretended to be something different. You pretended to be my friend, you made me fall in love with you and then you used me. You’re disgusting. You never cared. You never had feelings for me-”

Jinyoung cut her off with a scoff. His fists were tightly clenched. “You really think that, noona? Are you that stupid?”

Eunha recoiled from him. “What?”

“I’ve been in love with you since high school,” he told her firmly. His dark eyes were staring at hers through his glasses, and Eunha could see that there were tears in his eyes. “I was in love with you before Jaebum-hyung was in love with you. I was in love with you long after Jaebum-hyung stopped loving you. That’s the whole problem, that I can’t stop loving you even though I’m trying really hard.”

Eunha bit her lip. “You’re lying.”

Jinyoung sighed, releasing his breath shakily. He looked defeated. “I’m not.”

“I called you a hundred times. I sent you messages. I told you to call me. You treated me like , Jinyoung. You wouldn’t have done that if you had feelings for me. If you had seriously loved me, you would have confessed in the hopes that I felt the same way, like a normal person.”

“I wasn’t sure I wanted to be with you.”

“What does that mean?”

Jinyoung took a shaky breath again. He ran a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes hard. “I hate who I used to be in high school. I was this pathetic, jealous little kid who wanted my hyung’s girlfriend. The only reason I stayed in the baseball team was to see you. I spent every moment in school hating Jaebum-hyung for something that wasn’t his fault and trying to make his life more difficult. , I didn’t give a about my grades, or my classes, or anything. I became this really shallow, pathetic person and I didn’t realize until later how horrible I was.”

Eunha stared at him. Jinyoung’s fists were clenched tightly and his voice was cracking. He was telling the truth and despite the fact that Eunha didn’t want to hear it, she listened in silence.

“I only realized after you and Jaebum-hyung graduated how stupid my crush on you had made me. I told Jaebum-hyung all about it- not that it was you, of course- but that I had fallen too hard for a girl that was taken and that I was a mess. Jaebum-hyung helped me get my life and self-confidence back together. He told me to quit the baseball team because I obviously hated it and to find something that I really wanted to do- to find some goals in life. I thought I’d finally grown up, that I could move on from that childish me and become more mature. But everything led me back to you, and…”

Eunha glanced down at her hands. She hadn’t known. She had no idea that Jinyoung had felt that way about her, and she felt her head spin at the information. Could she really have not noticed that so much was going on with him?

“I told myself I wasn’t going to avoid you in college,” Jinyoung continued. “I told myself- you’re mature enough to deal with your high school crush. I thought that I could handle having you as a sunbae, or even a friend and nothing more. But it started spiraling out of control. You were still the same person, the same Eunha that I had always admired and wanted, and I started developing feelings for you all over again. It made me feel pathetic. It’s as if I don’t even have any control over myself. Even at the baseball match that day, all I could think about was how miserable I used to be in high school. After trying so hard to grow up and move on, what’s the point if I end up back in the same place? A pathetic, jealous mess because of the same girl that I tried to escape from?”

Eunha bit her lip. “I never realized you hated me so much,” she whispered.

“I don’t hate you,” Jinyoung replied quickly. His gaze had dropped to the ground, ashamed. “But I hate the way I used to be when I was around you. So I needed to cut this off, noona. Please understand.”

“So you stopped talking to me?”

He closed his eyes. “I’m a coward. I’m sorry.”

There was a long, painful silence as the two of them sat in the corner of the crowded pub. Eunha felt her head spin. The anger she had built up toward Jinyoung in the past two weeks had all dissipated, fused out like a lightbulb in a few flickers. She was shivering. Despite how much she wanted to hate him, she couldn’t help but feel a rush of affection for the shaking, vulnerable boy in front of her. He had loved her, at one point. How had she not known?

“What do you want me to do?” she asked finally. Tears were spilling down her eyes. “What am I supposed to do if you tell me that you love me and then say that I make you hate yourself, how am I supposed to react to that?” she demanded.

“I don’t… I don’t know either,” he replied quietly.

“You’re not the same person you used to be in high school,” Eunha told him. She took a deep, shaky breath and wrapped her arms around herself lightly. There were goosebumps on her skin. “You’ve changed, Park Jinyoung. I don’t remember how you were in high school, but I know that the Park Jinyoung I love now is dedicated and focused and strong. I don’t think that the person you are now would ever let me or any other girl mess you up so badly.”

Jinyoung scoffed slightly. “I don’t know about that. If I was so strong, I would have handled things better and I wouldn’t have hurt you.”

Eunha let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah, that was a pity.”

“I know it probably doesn’t count for much,” he admitted finally, his hands fumbling in his pockets. “But if I could go back in time, I would handle things the night of the baseball match differently. I think it took me a while to realize that the way I love you now is different from the way I loved you back in high school.”

“How?”

“Because that love only brought out ugly feelings in me,” he explained. “Jealousy, resentment. It was childish. I resented Jaebum-hyung for having you, I resented you for not looking at me. But it’s different now. Now when I’m with you, I… I feel like I have to work harder to deserve you. You make me want to take care of you, and be a better person. I ed up my grades in school but now we managed to write a paper worth presenting in Hong Kong and I couldn’t have done that if you hadn’t motivated me to. I guess I just realized that while I still don’t always like who I am, I like who you make me want to become.”  

There was a long period of silence as Eunha stared at him.

Jinyoung took a deep breath and smiled bitterly. “I’m not scared to love you anymore. But I guess I realized that too late, huh? You already saw the ugly part of me.”

“I think we’ve both seen too much of each other to go back at this point,” Eunha replied quietly. She took a deep breath and looked up at him. “How did things become so complicated? They were really simple in my head. I honestly just imagined us confessing to each other and dating like normal people.”

Jinyoung scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” she said with a sigh.

“Don’t say that,” he muttered. He took a deep shaky breath and then closed his eyes. Jinyoung wasn’t used to being honest with his feelings. He didn’t like to put himself out there, but he knew that he would regret it if he didn’t at least try. “Noona, I don’t want to lose you. I love you and I know this sounds selfish, but I need you around me. If you can ever overlook my stupidity then I’m right here and… I’ll be waiting.”

Eunha felt her heart skip a beat. “You’ll be waiting? For how long?”

“As long as it takes,” he replied, before letting out a small scoff. “I think if I was capable of loving someone else, I would have managed to by now. But it’s always been you, noona. No matter how much I change, I think I’ll always love you.”

“I see.”

Jinyoung hesitated for a moment, before turning around towards his own room. He bit his lip and gave her a slight, awkward bow. “I don’t really have anything else to say. Good night, noona. Be careful with your ankle and let me know if you need any help.”

Eunha could only nod at him as he opened his door and slipped inside. She felt numb as she stood alone in the corridor, feeling her heartbeat thud. Her mind felt heavy and blank, and she wasn’t sure what to think anymore. Why were her feelings such a mess? She had decided that she hated Park Jinyoung, so why was her heart fluttering so much? Why was every part of her screaming to go find him? Eunha laughed at herself. You idiot. You’re just as much a coward as he is. Aren’t you afraid he’ll hurt you again?

Eunha turned around resolutely and walked up to his door, banging on it loudly. She heard a clattering from inside and Jinyoung stumbled to open the door, his eyes wide.

“Noona, are you okay-“

“I don’t think I can wait,” she told him firmly. Her hands were trembling. “Because I’m a coward and I’m terrified you’ll hurt me and leave me again. But for some reason, I’m feeling a sudden surge of confidence right now. So instead of waiting around I think you should take this time to prove to me that I can trust you.”

Jinyoung gaped at her. “I… I wouldn’t leave you again,” he blurted out.

“Your words are useless. I’ll only believe your actions.”

He looked helpless. “But- what do I do, I mean…?”

Eunha stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Jinyoung only watched with wide eyes as she moved closer to him and slid her hands up to cup his cheeks. She brought his face down to hers and kissed his lips gently, softly, the way she’d always wanted to kiss Jinyoung. He hesitated for a moment, before slowly wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. Eunha could smell his aftershave, could feel his warm hands on her back and his breath on her face as they separated.

Jinyoung hesitated slightly. “Noona, are you sure about this?”

“I don’t know yet,” Eunha replied. She looked up at his dark eyes, inches away from hers and hidden with a thinly concealed desire that made her stomach stir. She let her fingers slide into his dark hair. “There’s no way of knowing. I’ll only be sure when I wake up in the morning and you’re still lying next to me. So why don’t you tell me, Park Jinyoung? Am I sure?”

“You are,” he told her firmly, before pressing his lips to hers again, hard. “You’ve never been more sure of anything in your life.”

“That’s good to hear.”

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Epilogue

Jaebum scoffed as he shook a packet of sugar into his coffee. He folded up the empty paper packet neatly and placed it on the table before picking up the stirrer. He raised an eyebrow. “You really thought I didn’t know?” he demanded.

Jinyoung was dumbstruck. “I…”

“You came to me and told me that you resented me because you considered me a rival. But let’s face it, you never cared about baseball so you clearly didn’t consider me your rival in sports. And then you told me that you liked a girl that already had a boyfriend. You even let the word noona slip out at one point. I’d have to be a pretty big ing idiot to not have realized you were in love with my high school girlfriend.”

Eunha smiled lightly at the sight of a pink-faced JInyoung. “Im Jaebum, leave him alone. He was confiding in you.”

Jaebum raised an eyebrow at her. “You were no less obvious, Miss heart-eyes-only-for-my-Jinyoung.”

Eunha glared at him. “Shut up.”

Jaebum shrugged, lifting his coffee up to his lips to take a sip of it and glancing at the time. It was getting late in the evening and he had baseball practice. “All right then, hurry up and tell me whatever it is you wanted to tell me. I have baseball practice and I can’t be late because we were chit-chatting about your relationship.”

Jinyoung and Eunha stared at him.

“That it,” Jinyoung said slowly. “We called you here to tell you we were dating.”

Jaebum looked outraged. “Are you kidding me? You made me drive all the way down here on a weekday evening to tell me something that I already knew about? This is unbelievable…”

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