I checked my wristwatch... 25 minutes since the plane took off. But it felt like a few hours already. 

.... This ain't good.

Our memories together crossed my mind again for a millionth time. I don't wanna think about this. But I just can't help it. 

How we first met, our and also my first kiss. She's my first love. I remembered the first time we made love which makes things even worse. Then the painful of all memories.... 

It was a December night. I still remember how it feels. The chill... The coldness of the winter.... The pain...  She said we're not meant to be... She said she's sorry... But I don't blame her... I just don't know where I went wrong... And she kissed me one last time... It was a short, painful, bitter-sweet kiss...

I'm so restless. I don't know what to do. So I went to the restroom. 

I sat there for what must've been forever. Staring into empty space. 

Until someone knocked and snapped me back to reality. 

I got out and a middle aged man was standing next to the door. He then said "Doing business son?"

I just smiled politely and walked through. I saw he smiled amusingly... Who gives a on what he's thinking of me? 

I finally got to my seat. And there she is. Sitting there while reading her book. 

Her smooth silky skin... Her dark hair tied into a bun while her fringe hung loosely... Her beautiful eyes...  She's driving me crazy.... She's so perfect... 

"You OK?" she asked me... 

Even an idiot could notice how long I was in the restroom... ! What if she's thinking the same thing as the old man too...

This is just bad.... 

"Yeah I'm fine... Thanks" I said as I sat down. Trying to forget about it. 

Again.... silence strikes.

"So,  how are things going?" She finally asked.

Even her voice is angelic, her tone, and with that accent of hers. I could listen to her all day long. If only that's possible

"Well, I'm just doing okay... I wanted to go to London coz Aunt Hye Sun's sick."

"Oh my! I hope she gets well soon... Please send my regards to her."

"Yeah I will...  No prob"

"So what brings you to Manila?" I asked her. 

"I was having a vacation... And by the way,  what are you doing there too?" 

"Actually I volunteered to help the children affected by the conflict in Mindanao"

"Wow! A handsome volunteer! I'm sure you had a lot of admirers there" she laughed " I'm really surprised... This isn't the Hyunjae I knew back then"

'Some things do change,  you know..." I replied.

There she goes again... Bringing up the past... Just stop it will ya... 

"How about you? Have you found your Mr Perfect?" I added trying not to show the pain... 

She let out a long sigh. 

What's this? Maybe she's still hoping for me? Maybe I still have a chance? A glimmer of hope was already inside me. 

"Oh OK... Yeah, I get it... So how are you doing?" I asked her again. 

She sighed again... 

"Hyunjae... Since we met again, I really want to tell you this..." she paused.... 

This is it...  Maybe she still wants me back... Maybe she loves me still... 

"I don't know how to say this but..." she continued "I'm getting married"

Hopes crushed... My heart's broken again. This is what I'm afraid of hearing. 

I smiled bitterly and I know she noticed it too. I can't help it.... 

"So,  who's the lucky guy?"

"He's my childhood friend... We've been together for two years already..." she replied and I can sense the pain in her voice... "Look...  Hyunjae I'm really sorry but-" 

"No... It's OK... It's not your fault... We both know this will happen... But I'm really happy for you.... Believe me" I cut her off.

As much as I hate to say it but I really mean it.

But I accept my fate. We're aren't meant for each other. Period. There isn't left for me to fight for. 

"Thank you... I really appreciate it" she said with her misty eyes. 

"Enough of all of this...  We should get something to eat..." I said as I called for the flight attendant. 

After that, we didn't talk much. 

She continued reading her book and I decided to nap a bit. 

I woke up when there are only two and a half hours left to arrival. 

Lilly was surprisingly lying on my right shoulder. 

I just sit quietly and trying to cherish this moment. The memories of us together came back to me again. But this time, they're not making me restless or uneasy. They made me happy. I will never forget this one hell of a woman. Who made my life colorful. My days meaningful. She was my greatest adventure. My first and true love. 

How odd time does work. This time, two and a half hours feels like only five minutes. 

Some of the passengers are already leaving. 

I decided to leave to. But before that I gave Lilly a small kiss on her forehead. I don't wanna wake her. Which will make things even painful. 

I got out of the plane and of the airport. 

I was searching for a cab when I heard someone calling my name. 

And there she is. Walking towards me. 

The woman that means the world to me. 

"Leaving without saying goodbye?" she said when she gets close to me. 

"No I just..." I don't know what to say.

Her eyes are all teary now. 

"You're mean you know..."

"I'm sorry" 

"Lee Hyunjae I hope you'll succeed and do great things in your life. Know that you will always be part of my life...  And I hope one day you'll find someone better than me... I wish you all the luck... " She broke down. 

I hugged her immediately. 

"Lilly, I'm so sorry I made you cry, but just know that I will love you always. It would be a lie if I say that I'm not sad at all. But my sadness is nothing compared to your happiness. Promise me you'll always be happy. Lilly. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me... Damn...  I sounded just like in the movies..." she giggled with tears still in her eyes.

"Hush now" I hugged her until she was able to control her emotions. 

The hug ended and we looked at each other. 

I wanted to remember her this way. Looking so beautiful. Looking perfect. 

I don't want to say this but I have to. 

"Farewell dear friend..."

"Farewell Hyunjae... "

There I said it. And she said it too. 

This time it isn't me who's looking at her back as she leaves. It's me who walks away. But still full of pain. I feel like I wanted to cry but the tears won't come. All the feelings inside me... Sadness, confusion, restlessness, happiness, they're all mixed up...   I just don't know what to feel right now. 

And so it is... Alone again... 

I will always remember her... Lilly Collins...  My one that got away...