Empty packages of pills were in the bathroom sink. Sicheng was sitting, while leaning against the bath cold wall. He was thinking about the reasons whom made him who he is- a piece of garbage. It was rather nice kind of feeling. Knowing, that everything bad is going to end very soon. He always thought, that suicide is not a good choice, but now he finally understands, why people are killing themselves. There are a lot of problems in this world, but Sicheng had only one- it was too much. Or rather he was too much for people he loved. Sicheng wasn’t religious, but he wanted to believe in another life after death or in Heaven. It was selfish, but he also wanted to be happy just once.

Sicheng was slowly passing out, but he still can see some scenes of his life. Mostly that bad, because only them were happening to him. Excluding few days, when Yuta was nice to him. Sicheng was in love with him for some time, but it was before he lost himself somewhere. He didn't know where. Maybe yet in China? After all, he came to Korea to find happiness, but all what he found was unrequited love. It only made him suffer more, but as long as Yuta was happy, it was fine for Sicheng. Even if it destroyed him totally.
He had to be Yuta's best man on his wedding soon, but Sicheng can't take any more. He disappointed his only friend again.
Well, he disappointed more people. For example his parents. They were always supporting him, but Sicheng was too stupid to understand them. And it hurt him more than his parents.
He was selfish, sarcastic and cold to everyone, but with his move out to Seoul, everything had to change. Sicheng slightly smiled. 'Nothing has changed.' He thought taking more and more slower breaths.

Dong Sicheng woke up around 4am and he realized two things. First, he’s laying on the floor in not his flat, second, he should be dead. And maybe that guy which were sitting on the couch was kind of scary. What if he’s in Heaven and that guy is an angel? But does an angel looking at someone with death glance?

”How was your death?” Stranger asked and Sicheng was about to scream something, what mirrored his feeling at the moment, probably what the , but he can’t say anything. Like he lost his voice.

”What?” It was the only thing, he can say without put too much effort. Man stood up and sat again, this time next to Sicheng. Then he suddenly understood. It was only hallucination. Well, rain sound which was coming from opened window was pretty much real, just like pain in his chest.

”Don’t you remember? You’ve committed a suicide darling. We’re all suicides here. We’re all dead.” He smiled friendly and Sicheng tried not to laugh, because this situation was comic. Unfamiliar man was telling you, that you’re dead. ”Stand up first.” Sicheng listened to stranger. He stood up, but with huge pain in every part of his body. He lurched a little, but that guy bore him, so he can’t fall down. ”Come with me.” Sicheng only nodded. What else he can do? After all, he truly believed, that what is happening now is not real.

Sicheng was inside strange building, it seemed like office, standing in front of cute little boy named Renjun - ‘soul of purity’ as he introduced himself. He was wearing black suit, white shirt and glasses, but he still looked very childish.

”So Sicheng… welcome in the Center of Harmonic Autonomous Organism, Self-reliant or just C.H.A.O.S. Actually you’re in a suicide department. People whom committed a suicide after death are coming here. They have one month to find reason to live and then, they’re coming back to life, like their suicide never happened. Or they can just die.” Renjun said looking at some documents. ”If you make a decision, you must tell Jeno about this.” He pushed something under his desk and after a while another boy around Renjun’s age came inside. ‘Jeno.’ Sicheng thought and he was right.

Sicheng sat on kerb. It started raining again, but it was fine. After all he’s dead, so nothing’s matter for him anymore.

”So I’m going to be alone here for four weeks?” He asked looking at his feet, so he can’t see how stranger rolled his eyes.

”I’m Taeyong. Your suicide buddy.” Sicheng blinked a few times. Yes, he didn’t want to be lonely, but he didn’t want to spend month with this scary guy Taeyong. Everything, what he r e a l l y wanted at the moment, and for whole eternity, was Nakamoto Yuta –the only person he wasn’t afraid of. Sicheng was frustrated and disoriented like never before. Was it just hallucination from pills he took? Or maybe he didn’t even committed a suicide and it’s just another hallucination, but made due to his depression? Or this is only stupid dream? Well, he must know the truth. After all, he had nothing to lose. Sicheng rapidly stood up and hit wall of C.H.A.O.S building with his head. He used all of his strength, so pain should be unbelievable. He felt nothing…
Taeyong smiled sadly. 

”I told you, that we’re dead. You can’t kill yourself for the second time.” He said and took Sicheng’s hand. Chinese hated, when someone was touching him, but now he can’t feel anything. Everything was real. He was dead for real.

Taeyong took him to the strange place, but to be honest everything was strange to him. They were probably at school territory, because of the building with sport field, but it looked more like workhouse. Taeyong sat on the small ledge, which was leading to the school’s door, so he did the same. His companion pull off cigarette packet from his black jeans pocket and box of matches this time from his sweatshirt. Taeyong lighted tab-end.

”Why are you staring?” Sicheng was looking at him since he sat next to him. He preferred looking at Taeyong more than at this kinda scary school. ”You want to smoke?” Chinese shook his head. He hates smell of cigarettes