9:45 PM

I had found my self dumbfounded in the midst of the night. Since when did she thought of slipping away? Why did she have to go away? Was it necessary for her being to get rid of me and remove mei from her life forever? I have so many questions on my mind right now but my heart and mind are too broken, too weak and to scared to know the answers to my questions which I guest would sting and scar me to death. 

I got out of the bed and reached for my phone on the table at my bedside. I have been keeping my self notified whether someone would beep me whenever they get any updates of her. Damn, I should've been gentler. If only I knew it'll end up like this, I should've cuddled her and disregarded the heavy loads of stress I induced while on work. I scrolled down my phone to see zero news about her so I decided to visit the camera roll. Bravely, I stared at photos that I know would only add salt to the wound. Dear, bogoshipda. 

Unknowingly, I discovered my self smiling bitterly at our photos. I hope she comes back right away. I can't imagine my life not seeing her and her volumed hair. I miss seeing her sleep soundly in my sight and I've never been so disappointed at my self for letting the situation boil at this point. It was all my fault. If a glimpse of the future had sneek into my senses and flashed this flurry setting, I could've stopped her from vanishing right in front my eyes. 

Dear, it's cold out there. The thought of you freezing in the midst of the first snowfall makes my heart melt in pain and that you have no cozy company to run in to and a home with a furnace to lurk. From my perspective, despite the cold flakes out there, you're too strong enough to find your place of safety. Your fearlessness creeps into my mind and made me smile for a bit. I will forever be astonished of how you always capture my heart because of your bravery. You were never afraid to run for your happines and catch whatever there was in delight. 

I was about to go back to slumber when a beep from my cellular decided to wrap the whole room. My heart started thumping fast and my hope started to grow. Am I getting some updates of her now? Please be it. 

I shrugged off the cold I felt when I headed out of the building. Every step I take towards the bus stop was an inch closer to her. Minutes have passed before the bus stopped right in front of me and I hurriedly took my trip to the city and 5 minutes from now, I'll be seeing her again. I sighed deeply, closed my eyes and tilted my head. I was impantiently tapping my feet which somehow annoyed the ahjussi beside me. 

"Stop it, young man." 

I displayed a smile and asked for an apology. I was too excited to finally see her. It's been a week, no one can blame me. 

Minutes later, the bus stopped exactly in the heart of Seoul. I could barely feel my hands because of the cold breeze but I can clearly hear my heart thumping so loud that it could explode anytime. 

"Jagiya." 

A sweet voice caught my attention with her endearing recognition. I turned around to find a lady in a pink trench coat that, I supposed, her favorite one. It was clearly all used out but she treats it as something that will never be worn out. I gave her those and she gladly accepeted the warmth I had offered. It was as if my presence is wrapping her everytime she cuddles inside the coat. 

"I found her!" She hastily ran towards my direction. Oh, Ggoma, where have you been? 

"She was actually roaming around the streets of Seoul. I was about to head home from the wrap up party but I suddenly saw her with some ahjumma." my Ji Hyuni said while caressing Ggoma's fur. "Poor Ggoma, I think she's freezing." 

And then, I gave in. Imagine my two ladies in one frame in the corner of the streets, winter night, I guess I am at the happiest state of my life right now. Embracing them is the only thing that I know I should do at this very moment and keep them inside my arms forever. 

"Jagiya, komawoe." I gently said making her feel my breath on her neck.

"You were too sad these past few days. I hope you feel better now, Jagiya." she hugged me one handed and rubbed her palm along my *cough* broad back. "And as for you Ggoma, please understand appa. You need to watch your diet for now on since you were too fed up while he was away for the army." 

"Yes. Omma, is right." I chuckled and she chuckled back. 

We have decided to give Chigu a call to send a private vehicle to drive us back to my house. The ride was cozy. Ggoma comfortably positioned herself under Hyuni's leg and my lady was busy playing with my hands. Luckily, I got us a car with some division for us to have some privacy.

"I love how you worry so much about Ggoma." 

"Really? I should worry big time about her. Ggoma was given by you, isn't she? I don't want you getting sad either." 

"W-wae? Ottoke? Changkaman. How did you...? Chincha!" she reacted with eyes wide open.

"I never knew you stalked me too much. Thanks anyway. No wonder Ggoma was so in to you in the first place. You were her first owner, Jagiya." 

She frowned to the revelation. How could I not know that my Jagiya was crazily in to me even before SusPar began? I was forced to believe that Ggoma was given by a fan 4 years ago. But nah, Chigu was not good at keeping secrets. 

"I know how much you wanted a dog so I got you one. I gave it to some ahjussi and asked him to place it inside your car." she said. 

"Bang Chigu."

"Ne." she replied and giggled at the thought of her shenanigans. "Oppa, it's that I had a huge crush on you back then. You know that don't you? I even sent you fan mails and hand made presents after that awards night on KBS. Ugh, this confession coming out from nowhere is so embarrassing." she sighed and covered her face with her palms. 

"Why are you hinding your face? Let me see you!" I said while trying to remover her palms. 

"No." she replied. "But, hey! Did Chigu spill the beans to you? How dare he!" 

"Aniya, jagiya." I protested. "There was this one booklet on Chigu's car. I was really curious back then." 

"Chincha? Ey, I think you're fooling me. That story of yours will lead us to nowhere. Stop it, Changwook. I can't contain the embarrassment right now." she interrupted. 

"I was really curious. It was the same as Ggoma's booklet back home. You know, the ones where they put Ggoma's height and stuff." I continued. 

"Doggie Records?" 

"Yes, that's it! Omo! Jagiya, you're really impressive." I reacted and pinched her chubby cheeks. 

"So, what happened next?" she asked. 

"That's it." I firmly replied but ened up getting a slap at the back of my head. 

"See, you're playing jokes on me!" she said pouting her kissable lips and moving an inch away from me. Oh this grumpy lady. 

"But I went to the clinic one time and asked something about Nam Ji Hyun-ssi that I read from that booklet." I scratched my head while resuming my story. "Gladly, the lady was very kind to entertain my curious thoughts. You know, my heart was really pounding that time. I don't know why." 

"What did you asked her? YAAAAH! YOU ASKED FOR HER PHONE NUMBER, DIDN'T YOU?" here she goes again. 

"Aniya. I asked for yours, jagiya." I replied gently guiding her arms to turn her body facing me. 

"When did you saw the booklet?" she questioned. 

"Two weeks before K2 aired." I answered. 

"When did you went to the dog clinic?" she asked again.

"Three days after I saw that booklet?" I replied. 

"Really, Chigu! Ugh. I gave you the dog secretly but why did he ever need to expose that booklet a year after?" she complained and got frustrated with the whole situation which is me finding out how Ggoma end up with me. 

"The lady in the clinic even said that Ggoma was brought there by you first. I think he had low appetite that time so you had to bring her in." she nodded and rested her head on my *cough* broad shoulders. "I know you are a great omma to Ggoma. You visit her everytime I leave her for her regular check up." 

I saw her smiled and touched Ggoma's head. She really fits me. She's the missing puzzle after all this time. I have searched for it everywhere and all I had to do was to accept Ggoma whole heartedly to slowly let her in to my lonely life. 

"The lady even asked if we were dating." I said and it made her sit as straight as she can and she looked me into my eyes. 

"What did you say?" 

"I said we are not dating...yet."