“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.” ーC.S. Lewis

**

Jiyong watched as Seungri blinked multiple times, still fazed from the sudden kiss. Seungri's hair swayed through the salty air and Jiyong felt his heart skip a beat. He chuckled at the sight and couldn't help but tease the clueless younger.

“Pabo.”

“What?”

“I said you're stupid.”

“Excuse me?”

“No you can't.”

“Huh? What are you―”

Another kiss. Someone blushed hardー

“Because I won't let you go anywhere. You're not allowed to be excused. You can't run away again. You have to stay with me until our hair turn gray. You have to make love with me until our skin became wrinkly. You have to walk with me until our knees grow weak. You have to love me until our last breaths.”

ーeveryone knew who did. Still, the other one, the cocky one, continued.

“Because Seungri, I am willing to do all of those with you. Do you get what I'm trying to say or should I get down to my knee and do it clearer?”

Jiyong was about to go down in one knee but Seungri quickly held him back, his face still in deep shade of red.

“No! I mean yes, what no! No, yes-noー”

“Seungー”

A quick sharp breath. “Yes. Jiyong, Yes. I want to stay with you too. I want to grow old with you, Jiyong. I love you. I love- I love you so damn much, I'll love you more until my last breath.”

Tears streamed down Seungri's face as memories from the very first day he had realised his feelings for Jiyong flooded and flashed right into his mind. A knock, a key and a treasure box filled with painful, lovely, deep, memories.

Everything flew out of the box as the waves gently kissed the shore their goodbyes, showing how not something can't be changed if somethingーsomeone won't take the risk to step a bit closer. To close the distance and take the risk.

One wave, one winter. Nights were chilly and Seungri tried to find warmth from the blankets of Johnny, or Peter, Seungri didn't mind at all. With every touch, he tried to forget. With every caress, he imagined an apology he never received. With every embrace, he felt a temporary happiness.

One wave, one spring. Jiyong was smiling. It was the same old day. Hands clasped, games up, kissmarks on jackets and jeans, no words of sticking up. The leaves had sprang, his smiles didn't. Something was lacking. Someone was missing. Jiyong wasn't Jiyong at all.

One wave, one summer. The kiss he received from him was almost endearing, a special feeling he never got from anyone else before. Seungri smiled for the first time. Then came night with unwelcomed visits of the past, shattering his hopes of possible sunny day next day.

One wave, one fall. He couldn't deny it any longer. It was Seungri's words. It was all for fun. But when Patricia tried to kiss him, Jiyong imagined it was Seungri. It was then he realized what he felt for him. She was there but he has been something more.

They have been something more.

It'll take a lifetime for a wave to come back and kiss the same shore. But eventually, it'll come again. And it's up for the shore now if it's going to welcome the wave with a bitter smile, o