Jinyoung, 17 July 2013

It was the hottest day of the year and everyone is complaining about the excruciating heat. You can’t see a lot of people since many had stayed inside their home or inside the mall to cool themselves. On the other hand, I walk alone, aimlessly along the shore of Haeundae beach. It was 12nn and the sun’s heat was piercing through my skin, but I couldn’t care less about it. I sat down at the sand and stared at the ocean. The wind was blowing gently and I could taste the salt in the air. I don’t know how long I sat there but watching the waves crush through the sand was so captivating that I could just stay here forever.

Buzz. Buzz.

I reached for my phone at my back pocket and answered the call.

“Sir, there’s a lot of people in the restaurant. We need some extra help.” One of the chefs from my restaurant called.

“Okay, I’ll be there.” I hung up and started running back to my restaurant.

It has been a long time since I graduated college. At first, I wasn’t sure of the path that I would take so I just decided to follow what everybody was suggesting which is for me to pursue a professional baseball career.

I signed up with the Lotte Giants which was based in Busan thus making me move to the city. A year later, Yugyeom followed me to the team. I played there for three years and it was great. However, on my fourth year I decided to permanently quit baseball because of the reoccurring injuries I acquired.

To be honest, my injuries were only a small factor why I quit baseball. The truth is, I was really getting tired of playing and that I lost my drive to play. I don’t understand it myself, but somehow I think I know the reason. All throughout my college days, I couldn’t think of anything other than play baseball and that I have to get better so that I can go to the Major League and play in the USA. It was my dream to play in the States, not just because of the prestige of getting to the Major League, but because it was a way for me to get nearer to her. But after what happened five years ago, I realized that it was nothing but a childish whim.

So after I quit baseball, I decided to stay here in Busan and build my own business – a buffet and samgyupsal restaurant. Ever since I was young, my family loved eating samgyupsal that’s why I often cooked it with my mom. So, I’m using my mother’s secret recipe and it was a great hit which made my business a success.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I immediately went to the kitchen to cook. Apparently, there’s a variety show shooting nearby the beach, and most of the staff and celebrity guests decided to eat at my restaurant. Most of them said that the food was great and I’m glad that they visited my place because it meant that it was free advertisement. After the lunch hour passed, I decided to go back to the beach and have a bottle of soju.

Just like before and any other day, I found myself staring blankly to the sea as if I’m waiting for something to happen.

“If you stare a bit longer, you might go crazy.” I turned my head to the source of the voice and saw Jisoo taking pictures of me.

“I’ve already gone mad.” I smiled at her and she stopped clicking there camera.

“You look to sad and ugly in these photos.” She said as she looked at the shots she had taken.

“That’s because you’re not good at taking pictures.” I stood up and walked toward her.

“No matter how good the photographer is, if she has a crappy model, the pictures will still look bad.”

I took the DSLR camera from her hand, “This doesn’t look bad.” I said going through the photos. “I look handsome in these.”

She frowned before leaning in to give me a soft peck on the lips. “I guess we all have a different eye for beauty.”

I’ve been dating Jisoo for almost three years now. After graduation, Jisoo started working as a photographer at a sports magazine. I often met her when I was active in baseball. I don’t know how it all started, but I asked her out one day and a year before I quit baseball, we officially started dating. Now she works at a lifestyle magazine which she loves more than her previous work since she can now travel on different places. Sometimes, I would accompany her on her trips where I would help her take pictures of sceneries and architecture.

“Are you busy?” She asked me.

I shook my head from side to side. “No, why?”

“I want to go to Taejongdae Park. I want to take some photos of the sunset there. I want to feature it for our next issue.” She explained.

“No problem, anything for you.”

I got into my car and drove Jisoo to Taejongdae Park. The calm and sunny July sky made it wonderful to go on an unplanned trip. Once we got to there, the two of us immediately started to walk on the long flight stairs to the lighthouse. It was a tiring walk but Jisoo held my hand throughout our walk. She was thrilled to see the vast sea, overlooking the rocky cliffs. Her hair was flying through the winds but she still looked awfully beautiful.

By the time we got there, it was already sunset and Jisoo took out her DLSR and started taking lots of pictures of the place. I took some myself using my own camera. While taking pictures, I saw two kids, a girl and a boy, who were playing together. The girl suddenly slipped and the boy laughed at her. The girl unexpectedly burst crying and the boy was flustered, saying that he is sorry and he didn’t mean to make fun at her. The girl then laughed at him and said that she was just pretending to cry to make the boy feel guilty. In the end the two of them laughed it out and continued to play.

I couldn’t help but remember the past when I was at their age. I use to make fun of Mina a lot when we were younger. I always and she would get upset. Call me mean, but I really love seeing her angry – how she would puff her cheeks and how her face would go red. I would feel guilty afterwards since she would play or go home alone, saying that she doesn’t want to see me anymore. I would cheer her up then, by telling a joke or making fun of myself. Even though I made friends throughout my childhood, her company was the most that I enjoyed and treasured the most, and I guess missed the most too.

I walked up to the railings of the lighthouse and watched the sun set behind the small rocky islands in the sea. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the clear air. Then, I opened my eyes and looked at the penguin bracelet wrapped around my wrist that I bought in Boston, that winter I last saw Mina. I don’t know why I still have it all these years. I guess maybe I was hoping that somehow she’s thinking of me too like how often I think about her.

I often wonder if she has things that she regret too, like how I wish I didn’t cross my line that night when I kissed her. I wonder if I didn’t visited her that day, would things stayed the same as they were? Would we still be as close as we once were? Sometimes, I think that it’s a bit unfair how the girl I loved and cared for is now in the arms of someone else. Like does she even know that when I left that day, along with her, I left my heart in Boston.

To be honest, I have been trying so hard to forget about her and somehow, even though it’s really slow, I’m starting to move on. The feelings I have for her means nothing now but sad, beautiful, and tragic memories.

I was lost in thoughts when I felt someone tapped my back. I turned my head and saw that it was Jisoo. It seems like she’s done taking pictures.

“Did you get everything that you need?” I asked her.

“Yup, I’m sorry if I bored you.” She replied as she put her camera back to its bag.

“Don’t worry about it. The sunset was beautiful.”

“Yeah it is. Makes you feel sentimental.”

I smiled at her remark. “You know I read a book once saying that if a person is lonely, they enjoy watching sunsets.” I paused and thought about it for a moment. “I’ve been watching the sunset every day for the past five years.”

She looked at me with her beautiful round eyes. “Are you really that lonely?”

“Not that much when I am with you.” I replied.

I looked at Jisoo carefully, absorbing her profile in my brain. I had been suffering of a broken heart for a long time now but she has been very patient with me. She has never left my side. When I was playing in the tournament, when I decided to quit, and then risk it all in the new career path I chose – she stayed with me. She had me at my worst. She gave me strength when I needed it. She did her best to make me smile when I was so down, and most importantly she loves me so much that sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve the love she has given me.

A couple of weeks ago, I went out with Yugyeom to play bowling. We talked about a lot of things and for the first time, he was actually the one who gave me an advice.

“Hyung, if you want to really move on, erase all the memories you had of your childhood friend.” Yugyeom said after I told him all my worries. “She’s not coming back here and there’s no way for the two of you to be together anymore.”

“I know your stupid but realize that you should stop chasing somebody else’s shadow. Focus on the one that you have. Jisoo-noona loves you. Please don’t take that for granted.”

What Yugyeom said played on my mind over and over again. On my way home, I walked across a jewellery store and bought a ring. I’m not sure why I did, but I thought about Mina and Jisoo. I thought if I really want to get out of Mina’s grasp then, I should embrace Jisoo wholeheartedly.

I’ve always kept that ring inside my pocket waiting for the right moment, waiting for me to look forward in life and spend it with someone who loves me.

“For you.” I said when took out the ring from my right pocket and showed it Jisoo.

“What’s that?” She gave me a strange look.

“A ring. I want you to marry me.” I took her hand and gently put the ring on her finger.

She looked at the ring. “How unromantic of you.” She sighed and smiled at me. “Are you sure I’m the one you want to spend your life with?”

“Yeah.” I replied.

“Do you love me?” She asked and looked me in the eyes as if she’s searching something.

I don’t why she would ask me this but I more surprised that I couldn’t answer right away.

“I will never be her, Jinyoung.” Jisoo took out the ring from her finger. “You never talk about her with me but I know that you have someone else inside your heart.”

“Did Yugyeom tell –”

“I don’t need anyone to tell me that the man I’m in love with is longing for someone else.” She took my hand and put the ring back there. “I’ve been in love with you for all these years and I know that no matter what I do, you’re still looking for pieces of her. I did my best to make you happy but I can’t.”

“I-I’m sorry.” I felt so mad at myself for being selfish. All these years I thought nothing about the pain that Mina had left me that I did not see that Jisoo was suffering too.

“Don’t be. I’m not asking you to replace her with me in your heart.” She gently my cheeks. “I’ll wait for you to move on and forget about her. I’ll wait for the day until you can accept and love me. I’ve waited patiently for five years. Don’t you think I can’t for more?”

I smiled and leaned in to kiss her. I am thankful of her for loving me. After Mina broke my heart, I thought I can’t love anyone else like I did. I guess that was just an excuse to keep her memories alive. Now that I have Jisoo, I can feel that I can finally move on and watch love begin again.

“Once you’re ready, once you’ve move on, once you can finally say you love me, ask me again. Because I know that I’m sure that you’re the man I want to spend my whole life with.” Jisoo said as she rest her head on my chest.

Before we left Taejongdae, I ask Jisoo to walk ahead. I look at the sea once more. It was now enveloped with darkness with no light except from the moon and the lighthouse. I took out the penguin bracelet from my wrist and threw it as far as I can into the waters. I watched it make a small splash to the sea. I thought it was the best throw I had in years.

Mina, 18 January 2016

After years of hard work, I’ve finally become a resident neurosurgeon in Massachusetts General Hospital. Still I have tons of work ahead of me but I’m starting to love my job more. I guess the more I practice my profession, my passion for it has also increased more. Knowing that I have a job that helps people makes all the hard work worth it.

Tzuyu and I have were invited in a doctor’s convention in Busan about a neurological research that the both of us are involved in. I was excited about the convention but I had my reservations about going back to South Korea. I just thought to myself that I have to stay calm since I am going there for the convention and nothing else. Besides, Seoul is kilometres away from Busan.

Brian sent both Tzuyu and I to the airport. He bid us farewell and for us to take care of each other. I told him not to worry since I lived in Korea for a long time and I can speak the language well.

Tzuyu was so excited since it was her first time in the country. I told her of the places that I went to and the dos and don’ts in Korea. I’m usually quiet but throughout that airplane ride, I did not stop telling stories about the things I did there.

“Aren’t you forgetting about something?” She asked while I was in the middle of telling my stories.

“Hmmm?” I raised an eyebrow.

“I thought you have a childhood sweetheart there? How come you’re not talking about those things?” She smirked at me.

“Friend.” I corrected her. “Not sweetheart, but friend. Besides, I can’t remember anymore.” I lied.

I hate that Tzuyu has to bring up Jinyoung again. After I told her about what happened eight years ago, she kept on insisting that I call Jinyoung and talk things out. I wish that it was that easy but I just ruined our friendship that day and I don’t think there’s nothing I can do to mend it.

Besides, I’ve move on. At least that’s what I say to myself. Eight years have passed but there’s still things I regret and how I wish I can see Jinyoung again. However, I’m doing my best to brush those thoughts aside and to look forward now.

When we arrived in Busan, we checked in to our hotel and unpacked our things. We took a rest for a few hours and then went down for the opening program. The dinner that night was exceptionally good. I heard from the staffs that they have hired the chef from the best buffet and samgyupsal restaurant in Busan.

“This is so delicious.” Tzuyu commented after tasting the barbeque.

I took a bite and thought that it was great. To be honest, it tasted familiar and I can’t help but get nostalgic since it made me remember of the barbeque Jinyoung would bring in to our house.

“I wonder who the chef is.” Tzuyu muttered. “How about we go to the kitchen and greet the chef. I’d pretty much like to go to his restaurant once the convention is over.”

“Sure, let’s do that.” I agreed with her while taking another bite. “I’d like to bring Brian there during our vacation.”

“Okay, but I was thinking if I could get some discount coupons once I’ve talked to the chef.” Tzuyu said and the two of us laughed.

After we were done eating the main dish, Tzuyu and I decided to take a peek inside the kitchen as we wait for the dessert. I talked to one of the staffs and asked if we could meet the chef. She said that it was okay, and that she’ll accompany us to the kitchen. Tzuyu and I walked closely behind her. Inside, the kitchen was a bit chaotic since most of them busy preparing for the dessert. The staff pointed the direction of the head chef, and I looked at the direction where her finger was pointing.

Tzuyu immediately walked to the person the staff pointed, however, I stood there frozen. I couldn’t take another step. From a distance, I could see Tzuyu was introducing herself to the chef. The chef looked annoyed and felt like he didn’t want to be disturbed. I don’t know what Tzuyu said but the chef looked at my direction and his expression changed. For the first time in eight years, I found myself staring at the man whom I’m trying so hard to forget.

_______________________

Author's note:

Thank you for waiting patiently for this update. Sorry if it came a little late because I have to put in extra hours for work. Anyways, we're almost catching up to the present meaning that only a few chapters left! I hope you'd continue to enjoy and support the story. Don't forget to leave a comment. It's highly appreciated ^^