[Her POV]

 

Alone in the room that is more spacious than usual,I sighed as I sat up and stretched my upper body and groaned as the pain spreaded in my body,I called for your name with my eyes closed but then I realized you're not here anymore, that's when I guessed that it's over,I guess it really is,I chuckled bitterly as I stood up and left my messy room,I'm walking to the hallway of this house,or should I say apartment,I sighed as the story created by the two of us was also in vain,I can't believe it could crumble so easily,I walked down to the kitchen and made breakfast for myself but then I remembered that I can't cook

 

 

 

"Pabo yah"I chuckled and pouted as he smacked my head softly and took the spatula from me,he wore his usual apron and washed his hands before taking over on what I was cooking,I wrapped my arms around his waist as I leaned my head his back since he's so tall"mianhe~"I said as I hid my face on his back I felt him chuckle and turned off the stove"Let me go first sweetie so we can eat"I nodded and letted go of him and pecked on his cheek before running to the dining area,waiting for him

 

 

 

I shooked my head and facepalmed,'stop thinking about him,it's over already' I said in my mind as I took a pitcher and poured some water on a glass,I gulped and gulped as the cold water passed through my sore,dry throat and wiped my mouth as I finished and tied my hair up "cheer up" I mumbled as I walked to the bathroom to start my daily routine

 

--

 

I never thought that winter can be colder,I'm wearing my thick,white-colored winter coat and gloves,I'm also wearing my winter hat as I walked down the streets and wore my earphone,I wasn't really listening to music,it just became a hobby of mine,winter just came but it feels like it has been here since months ago,I entered a cafe,my favorite cafe and sat at one of the seats in the counter

 

"Oh noona you're here"Chaeyoung smiled to me,showing his cute dimple,I chuckled and piched his cheek,it's so fluffy that I don't get tired of pinching it"eyy noona stop it"he whined as he pouted a bit"My dongsaeng,how have you been?"I asked as I letted go of his cheek,it;s been months since I last came here

 

"I've been okay noona,but shouldn't I be the one asking you that?,what happened to you and tzuyu?"I just gave him a faint smile,I guess he understood so he didn't asked anymore"anyways what do you want to drink?,your usual or want to try a new one?"

 

"I'll just take the usual"He nodded as he excused his self,as I waited,I looked around until I saw a familiar figure right outside of this cafe,I kept my eyes on him,I miss him so much,his eyes,nose,mouth,his voice,his warmness,I miss all about him and everyday I'll look at his picture saved in my gallery and whisper that I hate myself for hurting him everytime,then I saw another girl,she clinged onto his arm and smiled before pecking on his cheek,I expected him to push her away and yell at her but he didn't, instead he smiled and held her hand as he intertwined their fingers,walking inside,I was raging in anger as I glared at him,how could he?!,he have a girlfriend have he forgotten already?,I thought he would only love me?

 

Then I remembered that we already broke up,on the month and day of his birthday,that was a mistake of mine,I chose that special day to break him,I lost track of time when I broke up with him,I even forgot that it was his birthday,I chuckled bitterly I'm really a fool,I can only look back in the past because I'm stuck in the here and now,I'm a prisoner

 

I immediately looked away when he turned to my direction,he caught me like he always do"let's seat over there"I heard the girl say as she pulled him away to the very corner of the cafe,I scoffed in my mind,we always seat there whenever we come here to have dates,chaeyoung would always complain because he feels out of place whenever we're here eventhough he's the owner of this cafe

 

"Do you want to sing?"Chaeyoung asked me as he placed a cup down to the counter in between the two of us,I shooked my head as I took a sip of my mocha coffee,its hot liquids burning my taste buds as I felt them get numb slowly and flow down to my throat as I countinued to drink,I wiped my mouth using a napkin infront of me"you know that I already gave up in singing chaeyoung ah"I said as I looked up to him

 

"So what do you do to release your feelings? do you write in a paper or sleep? or do nothing?"He asked again,anxiety was evident in his face as he looked at me,I shooked my head as I smiled a bit"No I do something"I said as I looked down,clenching my fists as my lips quiver but before chaeyoung could even ask again,I was thankful of that person but when I looked up,I guess I'm not that thankful,It was that girl,she have a feminine body and elegant,her hair is reddish,I could only use one word to describe her,PERFECT

 

Nobody's perfect,I suddenly remembered that phrase,does that mean that this girl have flaws too? does that mean this girl have made mistakes too?,I came back to the real world when chaeyoung flicked my forehead"noona yah you're zoning out"the girl giggled softly right after chaeyoung did that"Thank you again,and you're cute"the girl said as she showed her smile and walked away,I looked at chaeyoung with an asking face

 

"She ordered"He simply answered as he walked to the kitchen and I guess he'll serve her order,I facepalmed and took a sip of my drink again,god why am I like this? I asked in my mind,unconsciously I looked over in their direction,giggling,laughing,and cuddling,that's what I saw,I want to walk over to their direction and take his hand,tell the girl to back off and I love you to him and that I want him back,that I'll take care of him even more,that I won't do my mistake anymore but even if I try to say it,the pain that I gave him won't heal no matter what

 

"What do you mean?"He chuckled softly and smiled yet anxiety was evident in his face as he held my hand,I scoffed and pushed his hand off"didn't you understand what I said? I said we're over chou tzuyu"I said as I glared to him,trying not to stutter and show emotion as I said those words,I want to take them back and say it was just a prank when I saw his diamond-like tears,but too bad it isn't,this is reality,I don't know why but I just suddenly wanted to break free from him,maybe it was because of his lack of affection,he's always busy and doesn't mind me anymore

 

"b-but why?"he asked but I couldn't find words to answer,I just shooked my head and backed away from him"I'm tired tzuyu,I'm really tired"I said and ran away from him as tears started to well up in my eyes,I even heard him call my name but I didn't look back

 

--

 

I didn't know what happened but right now I'm here on the rooftop of the apartment building,standing at one edge,my hands holding the cold railing,it's still winter yet I'm not wearing my coat and gloves,instead I'm just wearing my casual hoodie and jeans,I looked down on the streets,I felt the surge inside of me to jump down,but instead I sat on the cold floor and took my pen,same with my scrapbook,that contained our memories,I slowly wrote words,trying to stop even a simple tear flow down to the page of paper 

 

Dear Tzuyu,

 

Tzuyu ah,how are you now?,are you eating fine?,is she taking care of you?,is she loving you right?,I saw you earlier,you seem happy,are you happy now?,have you forgotten about us already?,have you burned or crumpled our chapters in your life? have you forgetten me? 'cause I still haven't,I'm not eating fine because I can't cook properly,remember that you still have to cook for me?,no one's taking care of me,only chaeyoung does but that's because he feels the same like me,no one's loving me right,I'm not happy chewy ah,I haven't forgotten about us eventhough it was me who broke us apart,I still didn't burned,crumpled or earsed our chapters in my life because those were the most precious,happiest,and memorable chapters that I had,I haven't forgotten you yet,your lips still lingers onto mine,my fists clench as I imagined holding yours,I still remember everything about you and I'm not planning to forget them,because I don't want to do another mistake

 

Right now,If I could ride a time machine and go to meet you again in your past birthday,the day when I lost you,I'd never say those words,I'll treasure every moments,hugs,kisses that we had,I'd never let my emotions take over me I wouldn't wish for anything else but just go back and be with you again before the memories become distant and fleeting,do you know the chages that happened  when we became nothing?,time slows to a crawl when I'm by myself and think of what I did,that one mistake got a one regret also the punishment for my mistake is severe,I can't feel myself anymore,I felt like a child who lost my parents and tracks in life,and I also felt that I lost the right path and chose the wrong one,do you remember the last words that you left behind? It was my name and begging for me to come back even now I can't stop re-playing them in my mind I can't refrain my heart,it still hurts

 

Just one mistake,Just one regret I only made one mistake and received one simple yet deadly regret,I can't have you anymore,yet even until now,I still love you selfishly yeah I still do,everyday I'll stay in my room and think about the real reason why I broke us up,but my mind and heart won't tell me right now,if I could ride a time machine,I'd think first before I speak,I'll be sure of what I really feel,If I'll be given a chance to go to meet you,I won't reject it 

 

I wouldn't wish for anything else,my only wish was to ride a time machine before our memories become distant and fleeting and If I'm able to meet you passing through time and space,and even if it's heading to the different conclusion that I have in my mind ,I'm sure,that there won't be any regrets remaining why? because I was able to meet you again,the you who was still inlove with me,the you who only have eyes focused on me,the you who cherished,took care and never gave me pain

 

I'm contented just by meeting you and take you back again,never let you go,never give you pain,and only focus on our love,and before the memories of us are forgotten by you,I'm sending you this book,this book that contains our memories,this book that was made by the both of us but now,this book is nothing to you but just a part of your past

 

I love you so much chewy,and eventhough it kills me I gotta let you go because I love you so much and I don't want to hurt you anymore,I'm not writing this because I want you to go back,I'm writing this to let you know that I never deserved you,I'm not worth of your love,I'm writing this because I want you to know how precious you are,how worthy you are,how you deserve love,how lucky I am because you loved me,yet I took you for granted

 

I'm sorry chewy ah,I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 

From: Minatozaki Sana

 

 

 

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Lame sorry