~ Some wounds leave scars, some heal completely.
In both cases, time that is comforting the pain.

Younghyun walks down the road like he always does, deep in his thoughts, thinking about the past and all those things he could have done better. Let’s just say, he could have been more understanding and mature during his last conversation with Bomi who asked him to meet her for one last time, discussing their misunderstandings. He should have never let her go, not like this, not with the false thought of him hating her more than anything.

With his tired sigh leaving his mouth, Younghyun halts on the edge of the pavement, waiting for the signal to change its ridiculously vivid colour to a less irritating, green one. Going down on the memory lane, he turns towards the stall on the opposite side of the road and recalls his treasured memories of the girl who turned his world upside down. Without her, their ever so painful break-up songs would sound untruthful and would touch less people around the world. In some ways, she gave him what he always wanted. Their music matters - and the fact that they can perform at MAMA next month still makes his heart flutter.

He goes through the pedestrian crossing with his gaze focused on the coffee shop, the plain building made of bricks, the place where it's all started. With every single day, it becomes easier to cross the threshold.

’An Americano, please,’ he says when he reaches the counter and his almond-shaped eyes meet with the most beautiful contact lenses he has ever seen. They are the perfect shade of mint with a sprinkle of deep blue that reminds the musician of the shores along the Winter Sea. He wonders whether he would ever have the chance to go there with someone really special.

’Can I get your name?’ the barista asks with a sweet smile, playing on her mellow lips. The way she tilts her head to right brings back Younghyun memories from the last time he spoke with the dancer, here, in the coffee shop.

They sat in the background, far away from the floor to ceiling windows, waiting for their drinks to come, completely quiet. The musician didn't know what to say while the dancer couldn't decide how to start their conversation. It was awkward and heartbreaking all at once considering those nights when they couldn’t stop talking until the Sun took the lead from the Moon and its beautiful stars.

’Brian,’ he says when an extremely anxious customer clears his throat behind his back. The musician brushes aside the urge to turn towards the man with his brows knitted and takes a step to right instead, patiently waiting for his drink to be ready. After all, the last thing he wants is to make a scene in a local café and be late from their practice because of it. He can swallow the nasty swear that is already on the tip of his tongue.

He puts his arms onto the counter, sinking into his painful memories, the tight embrace of those vivid flashes that still haunt him whenever he comes to this place all by himself. He thinks about Bomi's last words and her explanation that sounded way too ridiculous to be true. Falling in love with someone she saw in her nightmares, her dreams? Loving him naturally, just because her new heart beated for him before it became hers. It was nonsense, it still is. Yet, with time, it turned out to be the most comfortable reason for his soul. The only reason it could deal with, it could accept.

Shaking his head, Younghyun takes a deep breath then looks down to his pocket, trembling from the incoming messages he gets. The faint sound of the kkt's notification makes the musician's muscles tense as if they already knew what's going on.

Looking at the digital clock on his screen - he is three minutes late -, he has a big guess, too. Yet, he cannot be farther from the truth.

From: Jae
We’re done for today
Look at this big boy, waiting for his y nurse to come back
{a picture of Wonpil, sitting on the edge of a huge table with a white sheet on it}

To: Jae
What the heck? Why are you in a goddamn hospital?

From: Jae
Wonpil had an accident

To: Jae
Address! Now!

Younghyun's chest crushes his lungs, cutting the last drops of oxygen out of them, beastly. His eyes go blind as he recognizes the hospital's address, the very same address he always gave to the taxi drivers whenever he left JYP.

’So, an Americano for Brian,’ the barista says, shaking her left hand in front of the young man's face. Her concern settles onto her beautiful features as she reaches out for the musician, patting his shoulder with anxiety. Younghyun's eyes open wide from the sudden touch that brings him back to reality.

’Thank you,’ he says before he takes the paper cup, smiling. He feels dizzy when he steps out of the building, lifting his right hand up above his head.

It takes him two minutes, catching a cab, and another twelve to get to the hospital. He didn't cross its threshold since the last time he left the white building behind with high hopes in his heart, waiting for tomorrow comes. Then, all naive and confident, he wanted his confession to be perfect somewhere outside of the hospital and its crowded canteen. Little did he know that his childish desire to perfection would ruin his chances. If only, he would confess a bit earlier - when the dancer didn't know that her dreams were more than simple nightmares.

The area around the reception is as noisy as it is in his memories therefore the rigid woman familiar question or prim attitude doesn't surprises him, either. In fact, it makes him smile, shaking his entire body with a genuine laughter.

’Good afternoon! How can I help you?’ she asks out of habit. From the way she looks at him, Younghyun knows that that woman, unlike him, doesn't remember their first conversation nor the way he turned his back on her, totally broken.

’Kim Wonpil. I’m his friend,' he says with his elbows resting on the counter. 'And don’t say that you cannot help me, it doesn’t matter that I’m not his real brother. We are family.’ Younghyun forgets to breath as his chest bouncing like crazy. Up and down, up and down. For an ephemeral moment, he thinks that she won't answer, that she will reject him once again, leaving him in his own misery to drown. But then, out of the ordinary, she turns to the computer, runs her fingers over the screen and faces with the musician.

It feels like a Christmas miracle a month before the holidays.

’He is in the private area. Room 502,’ she replies before she leans closer to the counter, pointing to the right direction. Although, the musician is completely aware of the fact where the elevators are, he smiles at the woman and takes a bow, showing his gratitude.

’Thank you.’

As he steps out of the lift, the uncomfortably familiar scenery pushes him back in time, recalling the musician's memories of all those nights he waited, patiently waited for Bomi to come. Most of the time, he sat on the padded benches on the opposite side of the corridor and wrote. The silence was inspiring as if the muteness whispered into his ears, finding the right words instead of the man.

Love made everything easier.

’Younghyun?’ a feminine voice asks out of the blue. It is just as familiar as the candle-shaped lamps on the walls therefore the musician's feet stop dead in the middle of their movements, failing to keep the man's balance.

The woman's giggle echoes in the air as Younghyun crashes into a bench, totally lost. He turns towards Yoo Soonhee as if she could disappear, he steps in front of her as if she could turn into thin air. Younghyun clumsiness makes the other laugh even harder.

’Hi. How are you?’ he asks while his eager sight loiters over the woman and her pretty figure. Her long locks that used to be in a strict bun, now in an elegant ponytail, her always starry eyes are shining because of her tears, representing her happiness as they run through her cheeks. She looks as gorgeous as she used to be.

’Well, what can I say?' she asks with a kind smile that spreads all over her face. Although, her question is simple rhetorical, she stops talking, using the muteness for picking up the puzzle pieces, laying all over her mind. Should she ask where he has been? Should she ask how Bomi is doing? 'I’m a doctor now which means my life is an endless circle of bleeding patients and bad coffee. Anyway, I’m more than okay, thank you,’ she answers, honestly. The way a single look from the musician can make her feel scares the hell out of the beautiful doctor. ’And what about you? Who’s dying?’

Soonhee, sweeping an unexisting mop of hair behind her ear, leans against the white wall to keep her balance. She tries her best to act like a grown-up adult who is mature enough to brush aside the urge of ask some really immature questions. After all, she has no right to violate the musician's with breaking into his personal space. Whether he is in a relationship or not, it is really none of her business.

’No one, hopefully,’ Younghyun says with a chaste smile playing on his lips. Considering the light tone of Jae's messages and the picture his best friend sent, Wonpil is lucky enough to be okay.

He isn't his hoodlum nor the girl who died in that car crash with four other people including her own sister. Wonpil will be just fine.

’I’m sorry,’ Younghyun says out loud when the silence bring back his painful memories of that cold afternoon. Although, unlike Bomi, the doctor doesn't fight with her thoughts, she embraces them. She uses the quiet as a tool, sinks into it as she sinks into a hot bath, searching for serenity.

’For what?’

’I disappeared without a proper goodbye… or thank you,’ he explains while he makes a weak attempt at not thinking about Bomi, the way she focused her gaze on him and him only, the way she admitted her massive crush on him, the way she broke his heart. It doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that is important is them standing face to face after eleven months of dead silence.

After his boots touched the pavement and he left the hospital for good, he wanted to call her but it was too late and he wasn't sure whether the woman would be angry or not if he woke her up. The next day, he was way too nervous and excited to even remember his own plans. Later, he had absolutely no reason to call anyone. All he needed was his loneliness.

Younghyun lowers his head and scratches his nape with his fingers.

’It’s okay. You can still thank me,’ the woman replies, happily. Her almond-shaped eyes become nothing but slim lines when her white teeth showing up in a honest smile that is so nice, it flutters the musician's heart with ease. It feels like those moths in his stomach come alive once again, spinning one last dance with the devil.

He knows that this isn't love but he also knows that, with time, it could be much more than that. A mixture of trust, care and passion.

’What do you think of me… taking you to the capital city’s best coffee shop?' he asks half-heartedly, ready for another cruel rejection, a kick in the face, a fist into his stomach. Yet, as the woman takes a step forwards and touches the musician's chin with charm, it feels more like something as sweet as a blanket made of cotton candy than another dagger aiming to his chest.

Waiting, Younghyun's heart skips a beat, two. It's been a while since he became so confused, looking at a person's face. But Soonhee's features are like a freshly painted wall. He cannot decipher the colours under this new, dull layer.

’Like a date?’ the doctor asks with one of her slim brows sticking onto her forehead. She lets her hand fall back to her side then her lips, humming and thinking. A part of her, a really strong one, would like to go out with the man standing in front of her, all charming and innocent. He looks as fragile as a boy, like someone who need protection and a hug made of love and care. Still, there is this y voice inside her head that keeps telling her why she should never go on a date with a musician, a man like Kang Younghyun.

People like him have millions of fans, screaming and crying their eyes out from the fact that they had a chance to meet them, touch them, talk to them. Is it worth it at all?

’Maybe?’ he asks, lacking of confidence.

It melts the woman from the inside.

’Hm. It sounds quite lovely,’ she admits while she sinks her hands into the white cape and pulls out a tiny piece of paper from her pocket. She gives it to Younghyun with a chaste smile and prays to God, a mighty deity in the universe to not regret this hasty decision. Did she just give her business card to Kang ing Younghyun? The man whose music changed her entire life? The man who once left her without saying goodbye? What if he did it again? What if... No! She shouldn't judge him based on his past or the press. She doesn't know him at all. ’You know where can you find me.’

With that, she smiles at the musician and turns her back on him, watching him from above her shoulder. No one has ever died because of a cup of coffee, right? She doubts that she will be the first person whose life breaks into two due to an awkward date. Everything is going to be just fine.

Younghyun, still in shock from the doctor's answer, watches her leaving, smiling like a fool. Happiness blooms in his chest, filling his veins with liquid sunshine.

’Oh, and Younghyun!’ the woman screams from the other side of the hallway, halting a few metres from the elevator. Her dark eyes are like bitter chocolate yet a single look at them is enough to make the musician's day a bit sweeter.

'Hm?'

’Don’t make me wait another year!’ She asks before she takes a step forwards, two, three and pushes the arrow-shaped button on the left side of the elevator. As it lights up, the illumination paints the woman's fingertips vividly red as the withered petals of japonicas.

’I won’t. I promise,’ Younghyun declares, waving his goodbye. He doesn't move nor blinks until the doctor's figure disappears behind the metal doors, stepping inside the elevator.

It takes him a minute to return reality and find the right door with the bold numbers, five, zero and two in it. As if it was a cruel game playing by fate itself, it is the very same room he always faced with, waiting for the dancer, writing his songs. It's on the opposite side of the corridor markedly against Bomi's window frame he used to leaned onto patiently. What a joke! What a painful reminder.

He puts his hand onto the handle and pushes it down with his shoulder leaning against the entrance. There were lots of things in his head while he rushed through the city but honestly, nothing could have possibly prepared him for the sight that comes alive in front of his eyes.

’Why are you smiling?’ Jae asks when he notices the sudden change in the bright atmosphere. He pats Wonpil's messy hair with his dirty fingertips then stands up, holding a bar of white chocolate in his hands. He walks towards his confused friend whose shocked features calm down with every single step the elder takes. Above all, Jae is Jae. He has a talent at chasing away the dark clouds from other's creasy foreheads.

’What?’ Younghyun asks, innocently. Yet, the way he sidesteps Jae and Sungjin is more than suspicious.

’Your face. It’s strange,’ Jae replies, following him around. He stays in Younghyun's shadow, leaning into his face as he finds an empty spot and sit down onto the edge of the bed. It is as comfortable as the dancer's was hence his buried memories of the two of them chatting and laughing become more vivid than ever.

He needs to take a deep breath before he phrases a coherent answer.

’That’s how my face looks like. Do not think too much!’ he says, poking the middle of the older's forehead. With his long index finger, he pushes him away, turning face to face with his injured bandmate who, by the way, looks perfectly fine. ’Are you okay?’

Younghyun's eyes glitter with concern while his hands open up his backpack that became into his trademark over the years. Regardless of the last year's heartbreak, he couldn't make himself to throw it away.

’Yeah, I’m totally okay. Mina brought me ramen,' he answers, pointing at the average bedside table and the empty plate on it. It has tiny, painted flowers on the outside surrounded by clumsy hearts and small drawings forming special moments of Wonpil's life. On the last picture, he is with Mina, holding each other's hand, smiling. Their eyes full of stars are bigger than their entire body. It makes the musician laugh.

’What happened?’ he asks when his eager gaze finds the funniest thing he has ever seen. Under the amateur drawing of his friends, there is the most ridiculous couple name of all time. Although, Younghyun has to admit that Mipil would be the close second after the one, Wonna, Mina chose.

’The synthesiser. It fell onto my toes,’ his friend whispers in a voice so faint, Younghyun has to lean closer so that he can fully understand the situation. Anyone who has ever played with the keyboardist knows that he can be so into his own music that he shuts out reality. Hence, it's not the first time Wonpil drops the upper part of his instrument.

They should find a solution for this problem.

’He broke his toes, to be perfectly exact,’ Jae adjusts, rolling his eyes behind his characteristic, rounded glasses. With his new shade of blonde hair, he looks less like Harry Potter and more like that crazy chicken from that cartoon Jimin mentioned him last time. ’But let’s talk about you. Why were you so happy when you came in?’

Younghyun shakes his pink head.

’I wasn’t.’

’Oh, come on!' Jae, like a completely insane person, grabs his friend's shoulders and forces him to face reality. 'Dowoon saw you in the corridor. And he mentioned a beautiful doctor, too,’ he states with a smile so crazy even the mad hatter would find it bonkers.

Younghyun brushes off Jae's slim fingers of his body and rolled his eyes as a white flag. He knows that he cannot keep it as a secret anyway.

’Okay, I guess I’m going on a date. Are you satisfied?’ he asks with his brows knitted to each other. It takes him two seconds to realize what he said although he doesn't correct himself. For him, it's definitely a date. He is going on a date.

’Hell yeah!’ Jae jumps onto the younger without thinking. His joy is obvious just as Wonpil's who pats his mate's bladebone from the background. They all think that the bass guitarist deserves this, this little piece of happiness after the last twelve months behind his back. It was a hell of a ride.

’Easy! You’ll break Wonpil’s already broken toes into tiny little pieces!’ Sungjin screams, desperately trying the impossible; to calm Jae down whose faint sorry echoes in Younghyun's ears for minutes.

For the first time in a long time, everything seems imperfectly perfect. Their career, their future, their lives. Because this is how life works. It brings joy and sorrow, laughters and tears. It breaks your heart than cheers for you to keep going. It gives you what you need and not that you really want.

Falling in love is always risky and it can be really dumb sometimes. But fate will give you the right person. At a proper time, in a proper way. No matter what.

×the end×

author's note
Woah, it was a hell of  a ride, indeed. Massive thanks to all of you for being with me until the very last dot. I hope you guys liked the plot and the characters or found something special in one of the chapters. My personal, favourite scene was the second conversation between Soonhee and Younghyun. It was so easy to write (that's why I gave them a chance in the end of this whole mess). Truth to tell, I started this story as an angst short story - yeah, SHORT story -, but for some reasons, it turned out to be something else. :') This ending surprised me, too.
Anyway, special thanks to my lovely beta and my dearest friend who always cheered me up when I thought that I couldn't finish this whole thing in time. Also, to lyricalwritings. You are that kind of reader I wish for everyone. Your lovely comments and kind personality made my days.
Love you all xx
P.S. I'll post two short - and when I say short, this time I really mean short - novels before New Year's Eve. But for those who don't like BTS or my writing style enough to read them, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! ^^