May 2017

Lee Kiyong was a man on a mission.

Jeans pocket heavy with a small box, hair brushed back and face shaved into perfection, Kiyong pushed the button of the elevator as if his life depended on it.

The ride to the twentieth floor felt like a small eternity. His reflection looked back at him - Twenty eight years old, so close to thirty, so unsure of what to do… No. He was sure. For the first time in two years, he finally had the courage to do what he wanted.

He rang the doorbell, and waited.

Twenty seven agonizing seconds later, the door opened.

One of the girls - Becca, was it? - peeked her head through the doorframe. “Can I help you?” she asked in accented korean. Kiyong opened his mouth, but then the girl’s eyes lit up with recognition. She smiled wickedly. “Oh, it’s you. CHAERIN-UNNIE SOMEONE IS HERE TO SEE YOU!”

Kiyong coughed awkwardly while Becca closed the door. A few faint shuffling sounds later, it opened again, revealing his gorgeous girlfriend, yawning and trying to fix the bird’s nest that was her hair.

She wore the shirt he gave her to bed. Kiyong’s heart clenched. He loved her so much it hurt.

“Oppa?” She said groggily, “Is everything alright? Did we talk about meeting - did I forget? Ah, , I’m sorry -”

“No, no, no! We didn’t talk about anything, don’t worry. I just decided to surprise you.” He said quickly.

Chaerin’s eyes narrowed as she looked him up and down, from the buttoned shirt to his new, unfaded jeans. “Why are you dressed so fancy?”

Busted. Kiyong tried laughing it off awkwardly, “Can’t a guy dress nice to see his girlfriend?”

“No.” said Chaerin, but her pretty mouth was already breaking into a huge grin.

“Yoonji’s rubbing off on you.” he said jokingly, reaching to hold Chae’s hand and guiding her from the door. The empty space behind her revealed four curious heads lurking in the hallway.

“What are you doing oppa?” asked Chaerin.

“I just want to go to the roof.” he said, “It sounds nice, doesn’t it?”

Chaerin, who was starting to get less and less groggy from sleep, thankfully didn’t look like she suspected anything. She grinned and started leading him eagerly, “Yes, it’s super pretty at night, and it’s so nice and breezy and romantic!”

She blabbered on and on, and Kiyong started at the back of her head and grinned like an idiot in love.

God, he should’ve done this years ago. He shouldn’t have been such a coward all this time.

Chaerin kissed him in the elevator, and Kiyong cursed that it was such a short ride to the top.

The slightly warm breeze of may greeted them as they walked onto the roof. Seoul glimmered all around them, buzzing with nightlife. Lights and cars and laughter mingled together into the intoxicatingly familiar melody of the city. Kiyong watched, entranced, as Chaerin walked to the ledge. She looked down, and everything that made Seoul his favorite city illuminated her profile. She was the only star he needed during this night.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said.

Chae smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Tell that to all the hate comments yelling at me to get a nose job.”

How someone could think she wasn’t stunning was a mystery to Kiyong. “Do you get a lot of those?”

“Nah, most people love me! It’s just this one tiny vocal group of angry little es, Yoonji’s words not mine. We all have them.” Chaerin said, then added proudly, “But you know me, I’m not going down without a fight! I’m commenting back from my secret account that Candy could afford surgery if she wanted. They will remain poor and ugly forever!”

Kiyong burst out laughing, and Chaerin joined him, their laughter mixing with Seoul’s sounds.

“I love you so much, you know that?” he told her, taking gratification at the way he could see her blush even in the dim night.

“I love you too, oppa, so much.” she said. “Is there something you wanted to - oh, , wait a second, Seokmin-oppa’s calling.”

“Leave it.” he told her as she was about to pull out her phone. She looked at him, puzzled, and instead of answering he swept her in his arms and kissed her, long and hard, putting all of his emotions and fears and hopes into the gesture. She wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers ruffling the hair he spent an hour sleeking into place. Kiyong never wanted this moment to end.

He pulled away, head dizzy. Chaerin was still catching her breath, laughing sheepishly the way she always did when he did something she deemed “stupidly romantic”. It took her a few long moments to realize that he had gotten on one knee and pulled out the ring from his pocket. It glimmered beautifully against Seoul's night sky.

“Oppa?”

“Marry me, Kang Chaerin.” was all he said.

Chaerin just stared.

October 2021

Kang Chaerin was a woman on a mission.

Dark bags under her eyes, hair a bird’s nest from a night full of planning, Chaerin knew what she had to do. Her sleepless night had been fruitful - she barely even stared at Min’s unanswered message, barely even sobbed when Becky sent a link to her new youtube video in the group chat and asked for likes. Instead, she sat on her the entire night, and googled until her fingers hurt. She was tired of being sad - sad was for ing losers. She never wanted to be sad ever again. And now she knew what she could do to save her group. She had a mission goal, and she was not going down without a fight.

She marched through the corridors of EM Entertainment’s management floor, passing curious assistants and concerned managers without so much as a glance. She swung Lee Yuri’s office door with the desperation of a dying woman who had nothing more to lose.

Her boss regarded her as if she had just finished digging out the grave herself.

“I know how to save 365!” announced Chaerin.

“Chaerin, how nice it is to see you, it’s been too long.” Yuri said coolly, “Sit down, Jaegyu and I are just finishing.”

Jaegyu waved at her from her seat. Chaerin hadn’t even noticed her. Her group’s former manager assistant hasn’t changed one bit since the last time she’d seen her almost two years ago.

Chaerin sat down, and Yuri turned back to Jaegyu. “Anything else I need to know about NEWERA’s preparations?”

So 365’s replacement was progressing well in their training. They even had a name. Chaerin wondered, narrowing her eyes at Yuri, how long it would be after 365’s disbandment that EM would roll out this… New Era. Would they even wait a week before forgetting all about them?

“Nope,” said Jaegyu, popping the p, “They’re mostly really, really cute.”

“Not the best thing to say about a girl group that is meant to inspire confidence in young girls.”

“Unnie, I don’t see how they can’t be both!”

“Is Bongcha minding her weight? The board wants her to lose at least 5 more kilograms before debut.”

Jaegyu opened to respond, But Chaerin couldn’t help herself, “And when is that?”

If Yuri was annoyed by her interruption (And Chaerin knew from Yoonji’s various interventions over the years that Yuri did, in fact, mind when she was interrupted), she didn’t show it, “Their debut? The specific date is still being negotiated as we’re still debating on the final lineup, but they will debut in two or three months, at most.”

Two, three months? That was soon. Very soon.

Chaerin grinned widely. Lee Yuri had activated her trap card.

“Do you have any promotions for them in mind?” she asked innocently, batting her eyelashes.

Yuri did not move even an inch. “We are still finalizing the details, nothing is set in stone yet.”

“Huh, I see. How interesting.”

“Chaerin, dear,” Yuri said slowly, “Is there something you’d like to say?”

Chaerin tried to keep her cool for two whole seconds before she grinned from ear to ear. “Are you familiar with ‘Into the New’?”

“Ooooh, the new Mnet show?” said Jaegyu, “I love it!”

“Yes, I’ve seen it.” said Yuri, “What about it?”

“It sounds like a very good promotional activity for New Era, doesn’t it?” said Chaerin.

“It did very well for Girl’s Generation and the new SM girl group, but for a show about passing the mantle from an old group to a new one, you’d need an older group.”

Chaerin stared at Yuri incredulously. “Hey, I know things are kinda rocky right now, but if not this, then how about a survival show? Or Knowing Bros or Running Man or anything! 365 are still under EM!”

“Are you, though?” asked Yuri, “Aren’t contract negotiations coming up next week?”

“What do contract renewals have to do with anything? This is a group gig.”

If only they could have one schedule together, Chaerin was sure it would fix everything - the public will remember how gorgeous and talented and funny 365 are. The members will remember how great they were together.

“Contract renewals have everything to do with this.  How do you think they’ll go, Kang Chaerin?”

“I don’t know -”

“Oh, I think we all know.”

Chaerin sunk into her chair. Even their boss, the one who had raised her own company and her own groups and did everything she could to see them thrive - even she didn’t believe in them anymore.

“Unnie, as we talked about, their contracts are viable for two more months,” Jaegyu quipped.

“As we also talked about, I hardly doubt any tv production could be conceived, agreed upon, and produced in two months.”

“Didn’t you say you could pull a few strings?”

Yuri didn’t reply. Instead, she looked at Chaerin. “Was that the reason for your unexpected visit, Chaerin?”

Chaerin would’ve apologized awkwardly, but she was too deflated to care. It really seemed as if she was trying to move an unmovable mountain that was also, for some reason, supported by all the people she cared about.

So instead, she simply said, getting up, “Yeah, so I’ll be going now. It was nice seeing you two. Thank you for your time.”

She could come up with a new plan. A better plan. Tim would help her, if she asked him, Chaerin was sure of it. Maybe - maybe even Kiyong -

She banished the thought from her head before her eyes could swell with tears. Clearing , she gave a short and awkward bow and exited the room.

Kim Seokmin, the one and only, greeted her with a shocked expression on his face.

“Chaerin.” he breathed out.

Chaerin’s own breath had left her lungs. She stood there, dumbfounded, her jaw slack opened and eyes wide as a deer as she stared at him. It’s been so long since she’s seen him in person. No TV screen would ever do his face justice. She had forgotten all about it.

He shifted on his feet. “Hi, how - how have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Ugh, um, me?” she said in an overly high-pitched voice. “I’m fine - I’m great! I’ve been doing great, things are great, everyone’s great. How - how about you?”

“Oh… I’m fine. Namhoon asked me to get some documents about our revenue or something like that. Can you believe it’s been almost two years since we left EM?”

“Oh my god, it’s been two years already!?” She gasped, forgetting herself for a second and dropping her guard.

Min laughed. “Yes! And somehow there’s still some revenue dispute bull left to deal with! Hopefully this will be the last, but honestly? Doubt it. At least Yuri can’t steal anything from my cooking show -”

“You have a cooking show now!?”

“Yeah! Finally! Nine years after debut, it finally happened!”

“Duuude, that’s amazing!”

“Thank you! Post-EM life is amazing, you’re going to have so much fun. You could open that dance academy you’ve always wanted to, or anything else your heart desires. We should catch up over coffee, I know we just created our own company, but we got to see pitches from other management companies so I can give you some tips - Hmm, Chae? You okay?”

Chaerin’s throat dried up. There were so many wrong things that Seokmin had said, so many things that made tears well in her eyes and regrets to flood her mind. “I’m…”

“Chae?”

She had made a promise to herself this morning. Staring into the mirror, Chaerin told herself that she was done being sad. No more ty feelings.

And Seokmin… Oh my god, Seokmin was there and he was funny and perfect but also terrible and he made her want to cry. And Chaerin was ing done with crying.

“I’m - yeah, I just remembered I have a super important meeting I’m running late to,” she said lamely, but confidently enough that it might’ve passed as maybe true, “So I have to go, but it was nice chatting with you Seokmin, good luck with Yuri!”

Chaerin bolted out of the hallway as if her life depended on it.

No. Chaerin was done bolting. She was running towards her next goal.

“No, dude, sorry.” said Yoonji. “Since when do I know anyone in the industry that isn’t totally obscure and/or indie as ? Also, didn’t we agree that it’d be best to just… end on a high note and all that?”

Minjae smiled apologetically, walking so quickly with her super duper long legs (elongated even further with her ing huge heels) that Chaerin had to break into a light jog to catch up. “Oh, Chaerin-unnie, I’d be happy to try to help, but I really have to go to the recording booth, I have another meeting with New Era in ten minutes, and then I’m going to spend the entire day working with them on their concept and everything. Maybe… Um, I could try in two weeks?”

Becky’s kakaotalk profile pic smirked deviously at Chaerin.

She closed her app.

She opened the app.

Seokmin’s unread message, “hey, I really think we should talk about it”, glared red.

She closed the app.

She opened the app.

“Come on Hankyung, open