“My incredible intuitive senses of the female creature tells me that you have had some troubles of the romantic kind and yet you have not yet confined in me, PP.” was her friend’s way of greeting her as he plopped on the makeshift ladder. It creaked under his skinny , but remained strong, obviously witnessing countless other idol asses before them and willing to pull the weight for as long as needed. How many other idols had found themselves in a similar position? A lot, probably. The stadium where the last concert of MBX’s Asia Tour was to have its grand closing was a popular one among entertainment companies - Seoul usually tended to attract the craziest of fans, and with them the craziest of income. “As your best male friend I command you to spill the beans.”

Chaerin rolled her eyes at the dramatics but scooched over to make room for him. He was serving a wonderful distraction from the original purpose of her secluded hideout spot, and she was sure as hell jumping at any opportunity that presented itself wrapped in a thick thai accent. “There’s nothing to spill, Tim. Yes, I’ve had some troubles, but no more. They have been successfully solved.”

“And you didn’t tell me!?” the thai idol man gasped in terror, hand clutching the leopard print fabric above his heart. He looked absolutely ridiculous, which probably was half the reason why he was doing it. Of course he was also Tim and couldn’t help it either. “Spill. Everything.”

It took Chaerin all of two seconds. “So, Lee Yuri-nim found out about Kiyong-oppa and I and she took me to a fancy lunch just to tell me to break up with him.”

Tim gasped appropriately. “No.”

Chaerin nodded eagerly, a few strands of chocolate hair falling out of place as if in confirmation. “Yes! And I was super depressed for a while, until it hit me. I could just tell her that I broke up with him, and then not break up with him. So, it’s all solved!”

If anything, Tim’s mouth grew even wider. “Oh darling no.”

Well, that was not the response she was hoping for. At all. Chaerin blinked in confusion. “Why are you oh darling noing me? It’s a great plan. It’s a great plan!”

Tim looked her over very seriously, his plump lips trembling as he tried to find the best way to say what he wanted. “Chaerin,” he began so solemnly that she didn’t dare stop him to chastitate the lack of honorifics. “My sister from a korean mister, that is the stupidest thing I have heard since the time my brothers decided to exterminate all of the mosquitoes off of our island.”

It was Chaerin’s turn to gasp. “How dare you.”

A few assistants carrying various props went by, and Tim lowered his voice to a harsh barely coherent whisper. Chaerin was suddenly reminded that the two of them were in the open, where anyone (ahemcheolminahem) could listen and report back to the big boss. “No, how dare you. How dare you hide this from me, I could’ve helped you formulate a better plan than becoming a ticking time bomb.”

“Well do you have a better plan!?” She shot right back in the same whispering tone, moving closer to keep the conversation private.

Tim looked deep in thought, brows furrowed and lips puckered in complete concentration. Like a statue, he remained unmoving for a few long moments, and Chaerin held her breath in anticipation. A moment passed. Then another.

Tim sighed in defeat. “...No. I have failed you.”

“It’s okay, little Tim. It’s okay.” Chaerin patted him on the shoulder. “Do you understand now why my solution is the only solution?”

“Yes, I do now. It’s not like you could break up with him in favour of your hot thai macho friend or anything.”

Chaerin did her best to imitate a swooning lady. To outsiders it probably looked like she was having a seizure. “Oh no! Must! Resist! Temptation!”

Tim burst out laughing and she joined him loudly, earning them a few scorning looks from the production team. As always, they paid them no mind. Sooner or later someone would come to get them - be it Cheolmin or MBX’s manager or that super scary stylist lady who scolded her for wrinkling her dress even though she had to freaking dance in it - so she was content with simply sitting here and being noisy with her thai friend, like it was a regular day. Like it wasn’t the day of their debut and the last day of her normal life.

Chaerin totally wasn’t freaking out, you see.

It was also totally not the reason why she was sitting all by herself at that secluded staircase from the beginning.

Tim had the lovely effect of making her forget about stuff quite easily, but her traitorous mind had the wonderful ability of connecting almost anything to the things that she desperately tried to avoid. So not even Tim - beautiful, wonderful, hilariously incoherent Tim - could save her this time. She was in the deepest levels of anxiety hell, and eventually her brain was doomed to remind her of it. She should’ve figured that every time she’d think about Cheolmin her brain would go into shock.

Her laugh turned strained. Just like her voice would in a few hours when she would try to rap and end up embarrassing herself in front of thousands of people that would never live that down and would ruin her career and her future in the industry.

“Oh no. You’re doing the face.”

“W-what face?” she asked, but her traitorous, traitorous voice abandoned her once more.

“This face.” Tim pulled an expression that would’ve usually sent her into a hysterical fit of laughter. As it was, her stomach was busy doing somersaults and she could only choke out a weak snort. “It’s your I’m-in-deep- face…” realization struck his features, and the Thai smirked deviously. “Chaerin… are you nervous?”

“It’s Chaerin-noona.”

“Chaerin-noona  is nervous!” Tim exclaimed gleefully. “Where’s my phone, I need to take a picture -”

“I will end you, Thai idol man.”

“Oh, woah, you actually look like Yoonji right now. It’s kind of scary.”

“Good.” She grumbled. “You deserve it. It’s totally okay to be nervous on a very important day, what kind of a friend are you that you take advantage of me at my weakest?”

Tim scoffed. “What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t take advantage of you at your weakest?” He asked as if she was saying some mad notion. er. “What are you nervous about? It’s just a stage.”

“Easy for you to say!” Chaerin exclaimed, running a hand through her hair (the stylist lady was bound to kill her anyway, might as well submit to the dance with the devil - oh no, no she shouldn’t be thinking about dancing right now, ). “You’ve had like a billion stages already, this is my first ever. Weren’t you nervous at your debut!?”

Her friend blinked in confusion. “What should I have been nervous about? I was surrounded by my friends, and Hankyung. My mentor was there to shine his light on me. The stage is where I belong. I fit it like a glove, baby.”

In retrospect, it was hard to picture Tim not freaking out like the total giant baby that he was, but at the time Chaerin was too nervous to notice - the words shine, stage, and glove did their thing. “I shouldn’t be acting like such a . I’m the second oldest, I should be there comforting the ducklings and telling them that it’s all going to be okay. God knows Yoonji is not going to do that, so I need to. But, here I am. And - and you know what’s even worse? Kiyong-oppa didn’t even call to wish me luck. He could’ve helped me calm down, but the hasn’t even texted me.”

To be fair, her boyfriend was busy nursing his grandmother from a nasty flu, and their official official debut was not until next week when they were set to perform on Mcountdown. But still. He was her boyfriend. She had at least expected him to send her a text. The fact that he didn’t only made the nervous jittering worse, because now she had two things to worry about instead of one and her mind was having a field day, taking her on a ride through Nervous Town. She really wanted him to hug her and tell her that it’s going to be just fine. She would’ve settled for a simple text.

The annoying voice in her head - the one that sounded exactly like Yoonji - was blasting its favorite remix of “he doesn’t want you to debut”. Chaerin quickly shut it off.

“Wow, you really are nervous.” Tim said like it was some great revelation.

“No , Tim. No ing .”

“Calm down, Lim Yoonji.” her friend chuckled as he stood up and dusted his leather print cardigan and tight leather pants. “If you are truly nervous, I, PP, will help you relax.”

“I’m not trying one of your special mushrooms that you smuggled from your island.” She warned.

“Oh honey, as if I would waste them on such a mundane occasion. Come, I know who can help us.”

Honestly, Chaerin should’ve known who Tim was bringing her to. She still blinked once, then twice before settling down on the floor of MBX’s changing room/lounging area, right next to a wide-eyed Becky. Sunhee assessed them with an utmost serious expression.

“This one needs your guidance too, mentor.” Tim announced as he took a stand behind the blonde-haired guy like some scrawny bodyguard. Sunhee only nodded before settling his eyes on the two of them again.

He cleared his throat in the most dramatic way Chaerin had witnessed her entire life, somehow still managing to make it look effortlessly fabulous. “Now, before we begin, we must banish all negative energy from the room. Hankyung, leave.”

In the dark corner of the room, Hankyung was lying with his face stuck in his phone. He shifted his eyes lazily towards the other member. “Oh boo hoo.”

The couch creaked under the weight of Jonggyu as he rolled around to throw a piece of used toilet paper at the other member. “Hankyung, if you’re not going to leave he’ll probably start singing Run Devil Run again, and I’m way too sober for that right now. Just go.”

“You shouldn’t give in to peer pressure, hyung. What he’s trying to do is bullying.”

“Run Devil Run, Hankyung. Run Devil Run.”

It must’ve meant something, because after letting out a very exasperated sigh Hankyung got up, sent a nasty grin towards PeeHee and went out muttering about telling Shiha on them or something like that. Jonggyu, in return, muttered something about someone being whipped. Sunhee and Tim remained serious as ever.

Sunhee spun on his heels and kneeled in front of Chaerin and Becky like a knight approaching two poor orphans. Tim provided background music, and with a press of a button the first notes of “I Will Survive” filled the room.

Namhoon, who was reading a book on the other side of the room, acted as if the exchange was the most normal thing in the entire world.

“You, my ladies, are goddesses among men.” Sunhee announced with such fervor that Chaerin had to lean back. Becky only drew closer. “You are flowers that are to be worshipped. You are strong, independent ladies that don’t need no man.” I Will Survive immediately turned into Miss A’s I Don’t Need A Man. “You are powerful sorceresses, you are goddesses. Nerves are for the mortals. And what are you ladies?”

“Goddesses.” Tim whispered from the back.

“Goddesses.” Sunhee confirmed.

Chaerin sure didn’t feel like a goddess right now. Though, to be fair, the ridiculousness of the situation was doing a wonderful job of distracting her from the fact that in a few hours she might embarrass herself in front of thousands and thousands of people and oh no here she goes again -

“No!” Sunhee snapped his fingers right in front of her eyes, and Chaerin blinked sharply. “No, no, we’re not thinking bad thoughts right now. We’re thinking about how powerful we are, how fabulous we are, how, even though we can never slay like Sunhee, we can get close enough to be great.”

“I love you.” Becky breathed out from her left. The next thing was whispered in English, but there was definitely something about “rights”, “gays”, and “worth it”. That was all that Chaerin could really understand. “You are best.”

“No, my love.” Sunhee cupped the younger girl’s face and gazed into her eyes like a loving mother. “You are best.”

Sunhee stood up and dusted off an invisible flake off his immaculate outfit, tight fitting pants that resembled Tim’s and a low-cut shirt that sparkled in all the colors of the rainbow. “Now, outside there are people who are tearing each other apart to watch me slay Hush, and by association they also want to see you. They will worship you and write highly inaccurate fanfiction about you - as if I’d sleep with PP, that’s like - no matter what you do. There is nothing to fear, ladies. Even if you get on that stage and just stand there for ten minutes, they will still adore you.”

“Though it would be better if you didn’t.” Tim chirped in, “The PR team wouldn’t like that very much.”

“No they certainly wouldn’t.” Namhoon commented quietly from his spot, and something akin to war flashbacks washed across his face.

Chaerin felt unease creep back into her stomach, and cleared nervously. “Sunhee, you know I love you, but it’s not about that.” She said. “I don’t want to just get up on stage and stand for ten minutes. I want to do well. I want to show everyone who Candy is, you know? I want them to see that I’m a ing dancer and a pretty cool rapper and a really hot chick with the best humor on the planet, though I’ll probably be satisfied with the ing dancer part right now.”

“You are a ing dancer. Anyone with a pair of eyes can see that.” Tim argued.

“Yeah, but it’s different when you need to prove it to thousands of people.” She replied. “Seriously, have you all not been nervous when you guys debuted?”

Tim smirked proudly. “I told you before, I was calm like the sea. The stage fit me like a glove.”

Namhoon scoffed loudly. “That is a big fat lie and I have video proof of that.”

“Hyung!” the thai idol man immediately whined. “You said you’ll erase that!”

“Nope, never. I need all the help I can get when I’m dealing with you lot.” Namhoon said, his tone both professional and devious as . With a flick of his hand he shut the book he was reading and turned his attention towards them. “Yeah dude, of course we were all nervous. It’s a pretty big deal, debuting. Of course you’re going to be anxious as hell. But there’s no point in talking yourself into a nervous stupor.”

“Oh, thanks Namhoon, that’s such great advice. All I have to do is stop being nervous? That’s so easy!”

Namhoon fixed her a look. “You know what I mean, Chaerin. You have a tendency of making everything worse in your head, like the time when you slipped during one of the dance practices and you thought the dance instructors will kick you out of the trainee system. You, Chaerin, the best dancer they have been showering with praise and urging the executives to debut.”

“And your point is?”

“My point is, just breathe. Try not to think about it. I’m sure that when you actually go on stage the nerves will go away.”

“That’s the thing though, isn’t it?” Becky asked, talking slowly as she picked her next words in the language foreign to her. She had improved tremendously during the few months she had been training, but there was still a long road ahead of her. Chaerin took a mental note to teach the young duckling all of the Korean curses that she knew. “Being on stage… that’s our first time. That’s why it’s so scary. That, and thousands people. Thousands people are scary too.” she admitted shamefully in broken Korean. “Not that I’m scared!” She quickly added, chest puffing out. “I’m not scared, I don’t know why I’m here. But you’re cool.” She pointed towards Sunhee who gave a deep bow in return. “You’re very cool.”

Chaerin would totally forget to bow at the end of the performance. That’s just her, to get everything well and then to it up at the last moment. She tried not to think about it - Namhoon really did have a point, the - and the opening door provided a wonderful distraction. The eye candy that came in helped tremendously.

She could feel Becky tense next to her, and honestly Chaerin didn’t blame her. The brat didn’t have a lot of experience dealing with the beauty of Kim Seokmin, and the teenage version of Chaerin engraved deep in her memories could relate. She had been training for a few months already when he joined, and back then she had no idea about his crazy sense of humor and ridiculous antics. Then, he looked like some untouchable rich guy from Boys Over Flowers. Now, he was just Seokmin, with the bonus of being awesome eye candy.

He and Yikwang were engaged in deep conversation, because none of them noticed at first the two hostage girls and PeeHee’s show. Foreheads wrinkled and brows furrowed in concentration, it took them a full minute before one of them raised their eyes to observe what is going on.

“Are we interrupting something?” Yikwang asked. “Should we come back later?”

Sunhee snorted loudly. “You’re never interrupting, Yikwang, actual ray of sunshine. Who do you think you are? Hankyung?”

“We banished him from the support circle.” Tim supplied proudl