Once upon a time, there was a beautiful boy named Keynderella. When his mother died of an illness, his father remarried to a tall, handsome, frog-eyed man with two children: one is a small guy who closely resembles a crossbreed between a dog and a dinosaur and the other one looks innocent but is actually a piece of just waiting to unleash his inner demon. Since his father died of an accident, he was left alone with his evil stepfather and stepbrothers. They treated him like a servant, making him do all the house works and making him sleep in the attic because, well, they’re evil.

“Keynderella, foot massage! NOW!”

“Keynderella, remove my white heads!”

“Keynderella, trim my leg hair!”

But because Keynderella is a smart person who knows the difference of being kind and being a pushover, he just shrugged and continued dancing to KARA’s Mister. his stepbrother’s leg hair.

One day, a special invitation arrived at Keynderella’s house. It was an invitation to a grand ball wherein the prince were to choose a person he would want to marry. There was a rumor circulating around town that the current king is falling ill, so the prince who is next in line for the throne needs to take over as king soon. But in order to do that, he needs a queen to help him rule the kingdom.

All the women (and some men) were doing their best preparations in order to be chosen by the prince, including Keynderella’s stepbrothers. They bought suits from the finest designers. One of his stepbrothers even bought insoles, something about wanting to at least reach the prince’s chest.

Keynderella wanted to go. He doesn’t need to buy designer suits, he could just make one himself because he’s Keynderella and he’d look good even in trash bags. Despite this, he knew his stepfather and stepbrothers would not allow him to attend the ball. He wasn’t dumb enough to even tell them about his interest of attending because, oh I don’t know maybe they’ll just rip his clothes off so he could not attend? Who knows?

He waited until they left the house and took out his self-made suit. It was not the best but damn, did his face compensate for the ugly piece of clothing. As he was about to leave, a fairy godmother appeared in front of him.

“Honey, you aren’t seriously leaving wearing those rags, are you?” The fairy godmother who was apparently named Nicole was eyeing his suit with distaste.

“Well, if you just arrived earlier you wouldn’t have had to see me wearing this, wouldn’t you?”

The fairy godmother was stunned. How did he know she was supposed to arrive and help him?

“Oh, you know. I’ve watched enough remakes of fairy tales to know how like this works.”

Nicole the Fairy Godmother just shrugged and started to wave her wand until

“Wait!” Nicole raised her eyebrows at him. “Don’t make my shoes made of glass! That’s just stupid and dangerous.”

Nicole whined. The glass slippers are her favorite kind. “But WHY!? They’re beautiful!”

“I won’t exactly call a shoe that is transparent enough to show my whole ugly foot as beautiful. Besides, I haven’t trimmed my toenails. Just, don’t do glass slippers.”

“Ugh, you’re a pain in the .” Nicole waved her wand and transformed Keynderella from a handsome young man in clothes that look like it’s from a dollar store to, well, still a handsome young man, just in a Ralph Lauren suit. She also transformed a pumpkin into a carriage and the mice as the coaches, you know the drill.

Before Keynderella left, Nicole the Fairy Godmother left him with a warning.

“Keynderella, the magic wears off at midnight. Make sure that by then, you are already out of the palace or else…”

“Or else what?”

“Or else you’re gonna walk back home because the ing mice can’t drive a pumpkin.”

And so, Keynderella went off to the castle. He entered through the front door which leads to the center staircase, being the badass the he is (and maybe also to flaunt the gorgeous Ralph Lauren he’s wearing). All eyes turned to him, deep inside he was kind of wondering how they all knew he just arrived. Did he have bells that signalled his arrival? Why did they all stop doing what they’re doing? The ?

He caught the attention of all the people in the palace, including the prince. Keynderella sashayed his way towards the middle where the prince was (He swore he just heard someone snort “The AUDACITY!”). The prince, who he noticed looked so soft and squishy like tofu, can’t take his eyes off the dashing young man. His smile shone brighter than the goddamn sun the more Keynderella neared him. When Keynderella reached him, the prince grabbed his waist and whispered in his ear, “Hello pretty, do you come here often?” He wanted to smack him but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to be executed.

They danced all night and the prince paid no attention to other people. Everyone was throwing him envious looks, wondering who he was and where he’s from, including Keynderella’s stepfather and stepbrothers.

“Taemin, I feel like that guy is familiar. I just can’t put my finger on it.” Jonghyun stared at the man with the feline beauty dancing with the prince, trying to remember if he saw this mystery guy in the past.

“He totally looks like our stepbrother we lived with for 5 years, only he’s in Ralph Lauren. Who could he be?” Taemin copied his brother’s expression.

Meanwhile, their father Minho was eyeing the man suspiciously. “Could it be? Is that Keynderella?”

The three paused for a moment and then shrugged, “Nah.”

The two main focus of the night were in the middle of dancing when Keynderella’s phone rang. It was a message from an unknown number.

“it’s almost midnight. just reminding you of the curfew. - nicole xoxo”

“Oh , I have to go.” Keynderella gave Prince Jinki an apologetic look and ran towards the exit. Prince Jinki, not wanting to lose the person he loves who he just met but whatever, chases after the man.

“Wait! How do I find you? Wai-oomph!” Prince Jinki tripped over the last step and fell face first on the floor.

Keynderella did not answer and just threw one of his shoes to the Prince, hoping that no one in the kingdom has the same shoe size as his.

The very next day, the prince sent off his best men to look for the mysterious feline beauty he danced with last night by asking them to try on the shoe that the man threw at him. They searched far and wide for the man but, unfortunately, no one else in the kingdom has a goddamn 10.5 shoe size.

Arriving at the very last house they haven’t searched yet, they asked for all the men in the house to line up to try on the shoe. Minho asked his two sons to try it on, but Taemin probably buys his shoes from the ing kids section with those small feet and Jonghyun’s foot size compromises for his small height.

“They are the last ones, Your Majesty.” The head of the royal guards informed Prince Jinki.

“Oh. Okay, I guess I won’t find him here, then.” Prince Jinki said with a crestfallen face.

Unknown to the prince and his men, there is still a young man locked by his stepfather on the attic. They were about to leave when the prince heard SNSD’s Genie playing somewhere in the house.

“Is there another person in this house you’re not telling us about?” Prince Jinki eyes Minho suspiciously.

“N-no, Prince Jinki. Only the three of us. No other person to see here! You may leave now!” Minho sweats profusely, forcefully shoving the prince and his men out the door.

“Guards! Search the place!” Jinki shouts his command at his men. They immediately dispersed to look for any other person in the house. Minutes later and the music blasted louder, the locked door to the attic taken down by a guard.

“I have found a young man in the attic, Your Highness!” The guard who found Keynderella shouted. Prince Jinki quickly climbed up the steps surprisingly not tripping along the way and was met with those feline eyes his heart clearly remembers.

“My love!” Prince Jinki held his arms wide open to welcome Keynderella, but Keynderella smacked him in the head.

“Took you long enough.” Prince Jinki just smiled sheepishly and carried Keynderella who was flashing the finger at his stepfamily bridal style.

A week later after while lying on their bed after a hot lovemaking sesh, now-King Jinki paused and looked at Queen(?) Keynderella.

“You know, you could have just given me your address. It would have saved us all the trouble.”

And they lived happily ever after.