"Kyungwon!" She heard someone call from not too far away, so she lifted her head and found the familiar figure of Minkyung jogging towards her. She couldn't help herself when her eyes scanned the way the strand of hair that was hanging from where it had been tied up loosely was flying across her worried features, her clothes that were nearly not enough for the biting autumn that had fallen upon them and she couldn't stop the concern she felt over her well-being.

A soft smile graced Kyungwon's face as she squinted up at the beautiful girl in front of her to keep the sun out of her eyes. "Minkyung-ah, how are you?" She asked, the casual tone in her voice calming the agitated girl frowning down at her.

"You go missing for four days and all you say is 'how are you'?" Minkyung asks, looking bewildered at her calm state. "Do you know how worried I was? I thought I did something wrong..."

Kyungwon's features only softened further as she stood from the wooden park bench and tugged lightly at the snood scarf around her neck so that it came away from her head. She remained quiet, not willing to answer the slight accusation without a worthy answer, instead carefully tugging the scarf onto Minkyung's head and pulling it down cautiously to make sure she didn't ruin her light makeup. A giggle bubbled in her chest as she admired the way Minkyung's frost bitten cheeks gave her the illusion of blushing and a surprised look fell over her facial features: cat eyes innocently wide, eyebrows raised and pouting lips.

You look beautiful.

Is what she wanted to say, but instead a "you should wear warmer clothes" came out and she decided that it would have to do. After she came to terms with herself that, she was in fact romantically attracted to Minkyung even though they were both of the same gender and that she would probably be butchered by the society she lived in, she decided on reprimanding these feelings and attempting her best to rid them. She also decided that there was no way she was telling anyone about this, seeing as it was highly plausible that everyone she knew probably disapproved of this particular 'lifestyle'. Perhaps when she accepted that she would never debut she would move to America where most people were actually okay with gay people and live happily ever after.

A smile came to her face at the thought, which made Minkyung's head tilt to the side. "What are you thinking of?" She asked, her hands reaching out to Kyungwon's trenchcoat and fixing her collar even though it wasn't that messy. She must be OCD or something, Kyungwon quickly crushed the hope building inside of her and shook her head lightly.

"Just," She paused to think of an answer. "thinking how good it is to see you again."

Minkyung shyly hid behind the snood now around her neck, shoving a cackling Kyungwon. "You're so greasy, don't say stuff like that."

Kyungwon laughed, linking her arms with the still bashful girl and leading her away from where she had been sitting to earlier in hopes to diminish the butterflies swarming her stomach. "What do you wanna eat?" She asked, eyes scanning the almost empty park. After all, it was a Tuesday so people would be at work or in school, like how the 'little ones' were right now. Her eyes found a convinience store not too far away and sighed in relief. She hadn't had breakfast this morning. "Look, lets go over there."

When she glanced at Minkyung, she found her staring at her with a pensive look on her face. Her hand had taken hers without her noticing, and she felt the pad of Minkyung's thumb rubbing over her knuckles where the familiar healing wounds could still be seen under the eye.

Just when she thought that Minkyung would ask her about it, she instead nodded and laced their fingers together. A sigh of relief left her and she tugged the taller girl towards the convinience store, trying not to internally freak out over the platonic skinship with the person she was currently crushing on. It would have to take some time to get used to this. Knowing that she was messed up and different from other girls that gushed over male idols instead of secretly drooling over the female ones like she did. But no one had to know so she could at least have time to fix herself.

Entering the store, Kyungwon let go of Minkyung's hand so they could move around freely and looked around the various snacks that they had. "What do you want?"

"Ramen?" Minkyung chuckled, playfully winking at her own suggestive response and earning a laugh from the other girl who had something completely different in her hands. "No but seriously, we shouldn't eat a lot, we have a weight evaluation coming up soon."

Kyungwon merely rolled her eyes at the irritating statement and headed to the counter, ordering two pots of ramen for the both of them. As soon as MInkyung heard her, she pinched her side and placed down two waterbottles.

"We need to burn off all the fat later, okay?" Minkyung glared scoldingly at her while she sheepishly grinned back and prodded the girl's stomach.

"I'm pretty sure that you don't have any fat." Kyungwon stated when all she felt was the firm abdominals, heat beginning to crawl up her neck. She knew that her own stomach was pretty well-defined and probably firmer than the other's in comparison, but she couldn't help feeling surprised at the new information and a little flustered. "Oh, wait, you do." She covered up her surprise, which then resulted in a small tickle fight in front of the cashier who was blatantly staring at them.

Minkyung beat her to paying, leading to even more teasing from Kyungwon as they sat on the table by the window seeing as it was the only other space unoccupied. The two caught up on what had been happening at the company, and even though Minkyung had dismissed it as 'nothing much', Kyungwon learnt that they had been assigned a pop song and another that would be their own choice for their vocal evaluation; a sixty second rap to any beat they wanted; a dance from Seventeen's 'Adore U' and a duo dance to any song they wanted. Over the course of four days, the girls had already managed to learn the whole coreo to 'Adore U' and were now working on the formations--though they were finding it difficult with Kyungwon being MIA.

"What about the duo dance?" Kyungwon asked curiously.

In her almost four years of trainee life there had only ever been one or two occassions where the dance teachers told them to pair up with some of the male trainees to test their compatibility on stage for future purposes. She still remembered when she first joined the company, a little before Seventeen debuted, and she had been paired up with Jeon Wonwoo simply because their height matched better than small Yebin's did, despite being more inexperienced than the former. That had been a big problem at the time, and Kyungwon remembers feeling frustrated with herself when she couldn't learn the dance as quickly as other trainees. However, Wonwoo had been surprisingly patient with her and even taught her the moves himself even though the female lead had very feminine moves, which required him to embarrass himself for her. Since then she learnt that duo dances weren't that bad as long as your partner was good.

Minkyung's face darkened, a complete contrast as to how Kyungwon felt at the moment. "Yeah, we're meeting the male trainees tomorrow." She said, proceding to stab her own pot of ramen.

Kyungwon scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "What's up, you don't like them?"

With a purse of the lips, Minkyung redirected her look outside of the window to where Kyungwon found a loving couple walking hand in hand.

The two were a good pair: visually pleasing to the eye because of the matching outfits and attractive features. The man, probably in his late twenties, was tall and well groomed, his hair styled to keep up with the trends of this day and fashion similar to what Kyla would probably like to call 'boyfriend material'. His stature was strong and muscular, though still looking thin enough to fit in with the Korean culture of not being 'too overweight'. The woman beside him definitely looked younger, her skin clear and milky white, especially under the cold autumn sun and bright colors of leaves on the trees. Her clothes matched her boyfriend's perfectly as if the outfits had come straight from a magazine, her hair and makeup done to perfection as if she was an idol. Though it wouldn't surprise Kyungwon if the two were two actors out on a peaceful date.

To Minkyung, this sight was probably something that she would wish for, something she would want in the near future or even right now. A man to hold her hand and take her out on dates in public; a man to wear matching outfits and tell other girls that he was hers; a man to protect her from any dangers because he was capable to do it. To Kyungwon, the sight was mocking her, laughing in her face to tell her that she would never be able to have that and be happy with it because she would never be happy with a male partner.

"Do you remember the first time we did the duo evaluation?" Minkyung jumped back to the topic, a deep frown on her face as she observed the couple take a seat on a blanket in the grass. She proceeded, as if she could see Kyungwon nodding beside her. "I was paired up with Mingyu-sunbaenim because I was the tallest out of us back then, but I had just joined the company and I hadn't even been a trainee very long before then... I remember trying to dance and just embarrassing myself over and over again."

Kyungwon stared at her unguarded stance: elbows propped on the table so she could rest her chin on her hand comfortably, eyes wandering outside to the park's trees shedding their leaves, her eyebrows tugging together closely while she relayed her memories. Kyungwon wasn't about to tell her that her experience had been slightly better due to having a friendlier partner, but she definitely felt as if she could relate seeing as their situations had been similar. Not knowing what to say, she stayed silent.

"Sunbaenim did his best to teach me, but there wasn't enough time and by then the evaluation was already there and the performance turned out messy. I remember him telling me that it was okay and that it wasn't my fault, but he almost..." Minkyung hesitated, sighing heavily. "he almost didn't debut because of that. I hated myself for a while and almost thought about quitting."

There was a pregnant silence between them, Kyungwon watching Minkyung gulp her water down as if she hadn't drank for days and seeing a resemblance of herself in the girl in front of her. She hadn't prepared herself for this much depth from the girl, but she was going to get as much as she could, because strangely enough this was the most beautiful version of Minkyung Kyungwon had seen so far. The real, Minkyung who shared her feelings and struggles with her. The Minkyung who was beginning to trust her with her concerns. The Minkyung who was confident enough to share her dwellings with her.

"Did you know that I hated you at one point?" Minkyung asked, glancing at her.

Eyes immediately widening, Kyungwon leaned away from the table to give the girl opposite an accusing look. "Woah, wait, what?" She said loudly, not being able to help herself after the revelation.

Minkyung simply laughed, reaching out to touch her shoulder. "I have my reasons, Kyungie," Kyungwon struggled not to blush at the new nickname. "it was only for a couple of months, nothing big."

"Nothing big?!" Kyungwon practically screeched, almost standing from the table in outrage. "A couple of months is a long time, Minky."

Another giggle and Minkyung managed to contain the girl. "It was because of the evaluation." She began to explain once Kyungwon had calmed down-- more like she was trying not to blush as her crush's hand rested on top of hers. "You and I came into the agency around the same time, so I thought that I wouldn't be the only bad one... but when you performed with Wonwoo-sunbaenim it was like you had been dancing for an eternity longer than I had. Not only that but you and him looked like a really good pairing and everyone noticed it. Including Mingyu-sunbaenim. I remember standing next to him and seeing him looking at the stage like he was in love or something... and I don't really blame him because your performance was amazing... even I couldn't look away for one second. So out of jealousy and spite I hated you for a while."

Kyungwon pursed her lips, not a thought going through her head. Turning her hand, she intertwined their fingers and let their hands rest loosely on the cold table. It wasn't every day that you get told by your crush that they hated you, or that your very much famous seniors in the music industry were interested in you at one point, or that your performance managed to captivate her and everyone else at the same time.

"But I realised how stupid I was," Minkyung laughed, though sounding strained. "you're a really good person, Kyungwon. I'm glad that we're friends now."

Friends. Yes. That's all they'd ever be and all they were ever allowed to be. God forbid her true intentions.

Kyungwon gave her the kindest smile she could muster--eyesmile and all--and tightened her grip on Minkyung's slender fingers trapped between her own. "Thank you for being my friend, Minkyung-ah." She tried not to let her emotions play with her as said girl's fingers brushed against her wounds where both their eyes were trained. There was an unspoken agreement to leave that sensitive subject for another day, both attempting to bask in the positive and pleasant mood that had encased them. "It's the best thing you can do for me."

Minkyung glanced at her face, which she saw the action out of her peripheral. "You mean that?" The girl asked tentatively, hopefully, as if not believing her for a second.

A firm nod and an emotion-charged grin answered for her when words would not come to her.

No, I don't mean that.

Kyungwon was the first to arrive at the company the next day, making it as early as she could so she could get a head start on learning the coreography that she knew she had fallen behind on. So turning on the lights, she observed how they flickered on one by one and her reflection showed on the wide mirror standing opposite her at the far end of the room. Her fashion today was slightly better than other days, seeing as today was the day they'd be meeting their partners and she deeply believed in first impressions, so instead of the casual gym shorts and loose tank top, she wore a black and white flannel tied around her waist over a loose thin shirt that exposed more of her collarbones and normal shorts. She trusted that she wouldn't be overdressed, seeing as Kyulkyung usually liked to captivate males' attention.

Turning her playlist into Seventeen's 'Adore U', she quickly practiced what she had learnt the previous day from Minkyung. The song replayed seven times before the door to the practice room opened again, swinging to reveal the stature of a very tall male.

His facial features were protected by the black cap--one that Kyungwon had been checking out on the internet a couple of days ago--and his body covered by a similar flannel shirt to hers, immediately making her memory retreat back to the couple she had seen at the park the previous day. He wore simple shorts that barely covered his knees and running shoes, Kyungwon thinking that his fashion sense was very similar to hers.

"Hello." She politely turned to face the figure and bowed, not sure if it was another male trainee that was older than her or even a senior. Though she definitely didn't want to risk it and accidentally be rude to a potential dance partner.

The man reached to flick his cap upwards, meeting his eyes with hers as he too bowed politely. "Hello, I'm Jeon Wonwoo."

Kyungwon's jaw went slack as she realised she was in the presence of a celebrity and her relaxed form immediately schooled itself into a more formal one, making sure that she extended her hand out to introduce herself--despite already having met in the past. "My name is Kang Kyungwon, it's nice to meet you." She said, ignoring the fact they already knew of each other. Internally she was jumping around from excitement and joy to get to be around one of the members of Seventeen, which were all extremely talented and very good-looking. Though she knew that she wasn't attracted to the male gender, she couldn't deny the man's features to be seriously attractive.

Wonwoo chuckled, taking her hand softly as if afraid to hurt her, and shook it. "I'm sure it's not our first time meeting, though..." He discretely--Kyungwon still noticed--scanned her up and down as if to check on her choice of clothing and stature.

Kyungwon sheepishly retracted her hand and touched the back of her hair, tugging at it out of habit. "Yeah, we were partners four years ago for a duet dance, though I'm not sure if you remember..."

The man's expression flashed with recognition and a warm smile formed on his face, showing his pearly whites proudly. "Of course I remember! How could I not when my dance partner was such a fast learner..." He trailed off, searching her face thoroughly, causing her to shift uncomfortably at the attention. "You really have changed, though."

She wasn't sure what that was meant to mean, but she let it slip due to the fact that she really didn't want to pick a fight with a senior or flirt with him. He offered to teach her the 'Adore U' coreography first hand, though it would have to be from his prespective, and Kyungwon gladly accepted the offer as if it was a once in a lifetime oportunity. Wonwoo was a good teacher, though sometimes a little impatient when he that she was doing the moves 'completely wrong'--just because she wasn't agressive enough didn't mean she was wrong--and soon enough she found herself forgetting about his status and talking to him as if he were an old friend. Kyungwon found herself fooling around with him, grinning and laughing which was something that felt strange when she hadn't done so in a while.

When they were at the body rolls part, the door opened once more but Kyungwon was too focused on copying Wonwoo in the mirror. "Oppa! That's too manly!" She whined but still tried to dance with exactly the same force.

"No dance is 'too manly', Kyungwon." Wonwoo smirked, laughing when she managed to get the body rolls exactly the same. They both paused, not being able to continue after being weakened with laughter, finally taking a moment to breathe though Wonwoo did ask for her drink since he forgot to buy one for himself.

"I see you two are close." A voice made the observation, and Kyungwon turned her head to find another tall man staring at them with curious eyes. His aura was exactly similar to Wonwoo's in terms of intimidation and fierceness, so she immidiately cowered and folded in on herself as the hand previously held out to retrieve her drink fell beside her.

With a 90 degree bow, she hastily introduced herself. "Hello, sunbaenim, my name is Kang Kyungwon." When she rectified herself, she saw Wonwoo fiercely patting the other on the back, making his body struggle forwards due to the force.

"My name is Kwon Soonyoung, but my stage name is Hoshi." He introduced himself as if she didn't know, stretching his hand out which she gratefully took in her hand, glad that the older senior was the one making the first move and not the other way around. Kyungwon glanced at Wonwoo, who gave her a sympathetic smile.

The door opened again, tearing through the awkward silence that had engulfed them, to reveal very loud boys in a group flooding in and all talking about different things at once, making Kyungwon jump at the sudden increase in sound and Wonwoo chuckle at her reaction. She gathered that the new pack of boys were the remaining members of Seventeen and all dressed up in perfect fashion, though when she made a count she saw three missing from the usual line up. Wishing that she had done more research on boy groups, she was unable to identify who exactly was gone which would be very awkward to try and match names to faces.

After introducing herself to the group--who very enthusiastically replied back to her, much to her surprise--she bowed once more to Wonwoo as a thank you for teaching her part of the dance and moved to a side of the practice room where she wouldn't be a bother to her seniors. Fortunately for her, Eunwoo, Kyulkyung and Yebin entered the practice room as a trio and when all the fangirling and shyness had passed, went to join her by the mirror where she had been briefly running over what she had learnt.

"But Junhui isn't here," Kyulkyung pointed out in the midst of their talk about how one of them should go over and start a conversation with one of the boys when they should really be concentrating on stretching. "and neither is Minghao, so I have no conversation starters."

Yebin shrugged from her position on the floor, smiling cheekily up at the Chinese girl who was in the middle of a lunge, copying Eunwoo who wore a concentrated look on her face. "So? Just talk about the weather or something."

With a scoff, Kyulkyung kicked Yebin over lightly as she changed legs. "If it's so easy for you, then why don't you go and do it?" She retorted, quickly jumping away from Yebin's counterattack.

In the midst of this, Kyungwon had been diligently rehearsing the coreography while trying to ignore the conversation topic that was beginning to irk her, staring intently in the mirror. She couldn't help but feel out of place whenever they talked about flirting, or male partners or anything that involved boys, something that annoyed her even thoug she was the one feeling this. Perhaps it was that she hadn't come out, so she didn't one hundred percent accept herself and consequently didn't want to hear anything relating that certain topic. But she remained mum as she was in no place to scold the girls about having mundane talks about what she should be interested in too.

"Guys, can you shut up for a second?" Eunwoo cut in, sounding somewhat bothered. Kyungwon paused mid turn to stare at the girl who refused to meet her questioning gaze and had instead changed into arm stretches. Yebin and Kyulkyung fixed their same-aged friend with baffled stares, though did eventually change their subject into what their song for the duet dance would be.

Kyungwon observed as Eunwoo's posture relaxed and suddenly met her gaze, a smile with a feeling that Kyungwon wasn't able to exactly pinpoint on her face.

Just when she was about to question it, she was interrupted. "Kang Kyungwon," She heard Wonwoo calling not too far off, a bight smile on his face to which she hesitantly replied to with her own. "can I borrow your drink? I'll buy you one later."

She felt just as shocked as Yebin and Kyulkyung's faces looked and if it had been a different setting she would have made fun of them, though she quickly masked it with a light laugh and a nonchalant 'sure' as she pretended to be calm and hand over the drink personally. It was difficult to ignore the way the men observed her, a particular tall one staring at her with a hard look on his face, though she managed to dodge one of them as he was pushed by another member. However, it just had to be that moment that the door had to open.

The rest of the girls came in, Nayoung leading the group with Minkyung walking right beside her. As introductions were exchanged, Kyungwon's eyes met with familar cat-liked ones and she immediately sensed the way the usual warm, chocolate color shielded itself with a blank exterior, Minkyung's face dropping the casual expression she wore prior to the new happenings. Kyungwon didn't know why, but there was a guilt-ridden feeling beginning to take place in her chest as she stood beside a quiet Wonwoo as the rest of the Seventeen members walked forward to shake the girl's hands. Though she didn't know whether to feel relieved or hurt when Minkyung's face lit up with a smile as she introduced herself to their seniors.

"What flavor do you like?" Wonwoo suddenly asked, tilting his head questioningly.

For a moment, Kyungwon stared blankly at the older man before finally realising what he was trying to ask. "Ah! The blue one, please." She replied, her mind backtracking to the time when she and Minkyung stayed behind to have an individual dance practice and the long-haired girl had been drinking from the blue energy drink.

A body collided with hers, which sent her lurching to the side to regain her balance. "Kyung-ah~" A familiar voice made her melt into a pleased, warm grin as the arms that had wrapped themselves around her waist tightened, head snuggling into the crook of her neck.

"Minky, you scared me." Kyungwon chuckled, shooting Wonwoo an apologetic look to which he understandingly shook his head to and excused himself to talk to the other members goofing around. "We saw each other yesterday, why are you like this?"

A groan escaped the girl currently backhugging her--which was giving her palpitations--and Minkyung finally stared at her with a pout on her lips. "I'm nervous, and I missed you," She finally released her hold--much to Kyungwon's dismay--and took a hold of one of her limp hands. "and I was worried about you."

Realisation struck the shorter haired girl as the smooth surface of a thumb rubbed over the knuckles that had healed from four days ago, her eyes scanning the concerned tug of the eyebrows and caring hues staring right back at hers. Her smile faded into a weak one as she assured she shouldn't worry too much, because there was really nothing to worry about, though she couldn't help feeling regret for damaging her hands so badly. Minkyung supportingly squeezed her hand and tugged her towards the rest of the girls that were in the middle of team stretches. There were no words exchanged, but she knew what Minkyung had been trying to transmit and she couldn't help but feel grateful that someone was there for her.

In a spur, she grabbed Minkyung's elbow to keep her from moving to Yebin, who was calling for her attention. "Thank you." Kyungwon poured all of her sincerity and feelings into the two words, stepping out of her comfort zone and expressing herself through sound.

And she decided that she should do it more often because Minkyung graced her with one of the most beautiful smiles she had ever laid her eyes on.

----

a/n: thank you for the comments, i hope that this didn't bore you out of your mind. i will try to update every week, probably on a Saturday from now on just so i can motivate myself to not give up (even tho it's only the start) also, sorry for any mistakes