Everything got hard after that day. He never imagined living without his one. The one he called out to “mine”. Everything just got him barely alive after what he had done back then. Everything fell into pieces after he got back down to Korea where the reality eager to meet him again. However, he did not like to face the reality for this time. Since it would be hard. Since Jeonghan would never be there, waiting for him just like before — before everything bursted apart. Before he granted everyone’s wishes to not come close to Jeonghan or at least didn’t try to be gentlemen or everything related to Jeonghan. And he didn't wonder why people hated them together. 

Even so, now he understood why people reacted like that. They were jealous to let them together. It was similar when people came to see Seungcheol and Jihoon, his friends, together. But they overcame it all, held back tight on what they built on mutual feeling and dream, closed their eyes and ears of people’s comment of their relationship. And now, they were happily living in their own. 

The worse, Joshua never followed what his friends asked him so. 

He stared blankly at his notes. His pencil remained still in his hold, loosely. Joshua barely was thinking about what he shall draw on his sheet. The team leader of his project would go mad if he knew Joshua writing nothing on his sheet for a week. Because his mind went lost. 

Even sitting on the bench in the middle of university’s park did not help either for him to draw a note on it. It was useless indeed. But he could not do anything besides that. It was not the case where he got writer block or something like that, it just — his mind did not work for now. He only just thought of something else. 

“Josh,” a familiar voice called him. He instantly gathered his sheet and had it back into his bag. Well, it was his friend, Seungcheol who brought his boyfriend along which terrified him to death. Because of Seungcheol’s boyfriend. Joshua’s team leader. 

He gazed at him in an alert. Watch out for what the latter would spit on him. Yet he was well received by a warm smile. Joshua baffled. 

“You saw a ghost, Joshua?” He shook his head in silence prior to getting his soul back to normal state. 

The pair are seated before him, feeling bubbly in getting together while the loner seemed uneasy. 

“Then why are you seeming sort of peaky? Well - not a bit, but wholly peaky, did we scare you?” 

He cleared out his throat. “I have not already done the progress, Jihoon.” 

A quirk showed up on Jihoon’s eyebrow. “I should’ve known it,” he retorted. Joshua merely gave a perplexed look. Jihoon turned to see Seungcheol. 

“I’ll leave you for a while,” Jihoon leaned closer to Seungcheol, which made Joshua looking away, “he perhaps needs some enlightenment from you, babe.” The taller nodded, stealing a soft peck on Jihoon’s lips before he clearly gave out a space for them both. 

“Mind to explain to me something, Shua?” 

He was surprised. “Huh? Nothing — really nothing.” Seungcheol chuckled. “Oh, c’mon bro, tell me,” he demanded. 

“Just minding about people’s thought over my relationship,…seems like anyone opposed to it.” 

“Your relationship, it’s only consisted of you and Jeonghan, not people’s opinion, why you have to care about it?” 

“Just — dunno, I can’t understand why people fret about my relationship.” His eyes fell right into Seungcheol’s eyes. It was a reminder of the soft best friend he found. 

“They are envious of you both. Look at me and Jihoon, look at some obstacles that almost made me gone mad at those people, they crossed the customary line and almost injured Jihoon at the most. They are crazy, Shua.” 

He nodded quietly, but not really bore that into his mind. While Seungcheol was talking before, he was out of his mind, thinking about the same matter again - not really paying heed to the friend’s word. 

Joshua let a disappointed sigh. He was a fool who only just thinking of himself, not about his relationship and Jeonghan’s feeling over these issues which brought them down and drifted apart. He regretted it. Very sorry about his stupidity. About his bad deeds. He knew he could do not have Jeonghan back because he deserved it. Jeonghan also, he deserved a better person than him, but it felt impossible. Because he saw no feeling inside Jeonghan’s eyes. His eyes informed that he no longer had a special feeling towards someone. 

Joshua really ed up now. He did not know how wicked he had been toward the former until Jeonghan really lost his heart. 

drrtttt… 

He glanced at his phone. An unfamiliar number showed