Even inside my dreams, my heart can’t completely replace you
Just when can I forget you?

It has been years since then and amidst his desolation, he met a new person. That person is the one that he is about to marry in a matter of days, the one that he is happily engaged with, right now. He thought he had finally moved on until he saw her again and he proved himself wrong. Lying alone in his bed, the memories of the past day remains fresh in his mind. 

He saw her standing at the back, her face hidden beneath the dark thick shades that she was wearing. In that instant, a thousand of questions hovered in his mind.

How are you? Are you doing fine? Why are you here? Why are you hiding your face? Is it because you’re trying to hide something? Is it something that you do not want the scrutinizing media to see?

Leeteuk knew the reason for it. He knew that Taeyeon wanted to be herself even for once… and not be the Kim Taeyeon that would face the camera, faking a smile, and be one of the well-wishers to her former composer’s engagement. He knew she came there as Taengoo, the special someone he used to love. And he hated himself for knowing that, for knowing her too much that he could decipher the meaning behind every littlest actions she did.

Why does she have to come? He did not want to see her hurt and he was afraid that her mere presence would awaken the feelings that he laid dormant in his heart for years. He focused his attention on the pretty woman sitting in front of her. He never glanced in her direction again fearing that if their eyes met, he might press the wrong key and play their song instead. However, each time that he looked at his bride-to-be, it was Taeyeon’s face that he sees.

Then he did another thing that he shouldn’t. As Taeyeon was leaving, he called her name. He did not know why but perhaps, it was because he missed hearing her voice, he missed how she would turn around and smiled at him everytime he called her. She turned around and still gave a smile but that smile was different from the one that she used to give him and it saddened him. He knew it would be easier for her to leave unnoticed but he could not just let her walk away without a second look… he just can’t let her go.

“Leeteuk-sunbaenim.”

That was what she called him. Leeteuk suddenly became aware of the great wall that divided them. It reminded him of the rules that govern this tinsel town, the rules that dictate how they should act, what they should dress, and even who to love.

“Long time no see,” Leeteuk said trying to start a conversation but God knows he had a lot to say more than those four words.  He reached out to hold her hand but she did not let him. He wanted to grab this chance to prolong the time he had with her.  Time is ticking fast and he doubted if there would be another moment for them after this. However, it seems like she was getting ready for the goodbye.

“What happened to us, Taeyeon?”

No matter what he does, he cannot bridge anymore the gap between them. Memories filled his mind combined with regrets of the past as he stood there and watched her walk away.

“A composer cannot fall in love with his singer. It’s forbidden in this industry, you know it! You are going to ruin your reputation! You are going to destroy her career! This love can wreck both of you! Can’t you understand? You don’t want it, do you? You better put a stop to this.”

He recalls that one night when she was crying under the rain calling his name helplessly as she pleaded for him not to go.

“Oppa, you do not have to do this… we can go through this. Oppa!!! Saranghaeyo!!!”

Tears roll down his face as that figment of his past occupied a space in his mind again. Taeyeon, why are you so difficult to forget? He is once again torn between his past and present. He gets up from his bed and pulls a box that is hidden underneath his bed. That box contains the memories of him and Taeyeon all throughout that period of pure bliss.  Old photographs and tattered letters and poems for each other, these are all that he has right now. These are the things that he has been holding on to after their separation. However, past is past and whatever he has decided at that time cannot be undone. He has to leave them behind. Beneath, the photographs and letters is a crumpled music sheet. He uncrumpled it and he finds out that this is the last song that he attempted to compose for Taeyeon. He lost his inspiration and did not proceed with it and just like their story, it remained broken.

Just then he receives a phone message. It is from Henry, a new talented composer whom he thinks will be the one that will take his place in this industry in the future.

 “Hyung, I received your composition and I did some little touch-ups. I sent it to your email. By the way, why is your composition sad? The lyrics are heartbreaking. Should’nt the future groom be happy? Anyway, I did not change the title.  It is still Andante.”

He opened his laptop and played the song.

Even the numerous feelings that have slowly built up
Even the numerous memories that have slowly filled in
Slowly I will forget them a bit more

Andante.

From now, on he will forget about her bit by bit.

Song and Lyrics: Super Junior - Andante