The story that we made went in vain

We fell apart this easily

She steps into that familiar place again. Her heels click against the glass floor as she walks closer toward the gathered crowd.  The piano starts to play and the music of it makes her mind wander to the past, to the bittersweet memory of her first love.

Several years have passed already but that piece of memory is still crystal clear to her. She was a cheerful girl who tried hard to reach her dreams. He was the hardworking man who had unending passion in his field. This is the place where they first met, the place where her heart ecstatically leaped for the first time.  She was watching him in the serenity of his loneliness, playing the piano, creating music so beautiful to her ears. That music was so beckoning, she accidentally revealed herself from her hiding.

“Uhm…hi,” she said nervously. She quickly lowered her head and bit her lips waiting for him to scream at her. She had known several musicians and she knew better than to disturb them. She learned it from experience. However, instead of scolding her, he gave her his most friendly smile with his charming dimple.

“You’re Kim Taeyeon, am I right?” he asked her. “The champion of Music Festival’s Battle of Voices.”

Taeyeon was shocked that he knew her. As far as she knew, he was the budding composer that raised his level from rookies in a matter of one year. He was a prodigy. She never expected that he would recognize someone newcomer like her. Nevertheless, she simply nodded.

“I am Park Jungsu but you can call me by my stage name, Leeteuk. I watched your performance and I am completely amazed with your voice. In just one night, I have become a fan of yours.”  He reached for her hand and shook it. Taeyeon could feel the increasing warmth on her cheeks. She could also feel her heart strongly beating against her chest. Its sound seemed to be magnified in her ears.

“Will you be my singer? I really want to work with you.” Leeteuk asked her.

“Yes,” Taeyeon said without any hesitation.

Since then, they pursued their dreams together. They worked their way on the top together. They always did things together. As time passed, they went from being colleagues to being friends. Later on, their songs of friendship to each other became songs of love… and the rest was history. Yes, their memories had now all become part of history… of the past that she ought to forget and let go. However, here she is, showing up uninvited at his engagement party hoping that history will repeat itself.

The two of them catching each other’s gaze, him giving her a smile and she being mesmerized, she wishes that these will all just happen once again. But she cannot always deceive herself; she knew it will not happen again. In a few days time, the renowned composer Park Jungsu will be married to the A-list actress Kang Sora.

Unknown to the guests who are present at the venue, the country’s pride, the country’s premiere female singer, Kim Taeyeon is watching amidst them, standing at the back, watching silently as Leeteuk serenaded Sora in front of them. Behind the dark thick shades that she is wearing, she is not only trying to conceal her identity but she also hides the tears that are stinging her eyes. Celebratory cheers resounded in that small chamber but it is drowned by the sound that only she can hear, the sound of her heart sobbing.

It hurts her to see Leeteuk singing a different song. Why can’t it be their song instead? She takes a glance at the place where Sora is sitting now. She suddenly reminisces how she was the one that used to be in that place. She cannot help but have a hint of anger on Leeteuk's choice of venue. This place is where they have a lot of memories together. Does he not give anymore a sense of meaning to all of those? Can she just be the one in that white dress wearing the glistening ring on her finger?

She balls her small fists. She cannot believe how harsh this tinsel town could be.

“We cannot love each other. The love between a master and his student is forbidden. It’s better if we stay as professional as possible.”

“What happened to us, Leeteuk?” she asks herself. A tear streams down her face and she dabs it quickly with the back of her hand.

At the end of the event, Leeteuk finally notices her despite her long black coat and thick shades.

“Taeyeon-shi,” he calls her. She stops in her tracks after hearing him call her name. It is like a soft melody to her, slowly touching her heart warming it bit by bit. She misses that voice.

“Leeteuk-sunbaenim, congratulations.” She said trying to smile and sound to be happy. She decides not to take off her shades, or else he might see through her eyes that for her, their love isn’t over yet and she does not want to ruin his current relationship with her because she knows that Kang Sora is a nice woman and she deserves to be happy to be with the one that she loves.

“Long time no see,” Leeteuk said as he holds her hands. However, she immediately slips her hands out of his hold. She fears that she might succumb into his touch and forget that he already has someone else.

“Will you come to my wedding?” He asks and she can feel his hesitation.

“I’m sorry. I’ll be busy at that time. I have a show that day,” She replies. She keeps the conversation short because she cannot bear anymore to control her overwhelming feelings.

“I’ll be leaving,” Taeyeon bows and walks away but after several steps, she feels a tug in her heart. She runs back and is really thankful that he is still standing there. She throws herself to him and wraps her arms around him pulling him close to her.

“Don’t mind me. I’ll be fine. I will soon find someone like you,” She pulls him tighter. “Just let me have this moment before I leave.” Before she decides to forget everything, she wants first to transport back to the past and drown herself in their memories for one last time with that final embrace.

Before it becomes a distant fleeting memory
I need a time machine.

Song and lyrics: SNSD - Time Machine