sixteen
Wheelchair MisfitI had been spending the last few weeks with Jungkook and to be honest, it’s as if nothing happened between us and unexpectedly, we grew fonder of one another. I realised that I did miss him all this while – truly missed him. I missed my best friend and at the time, he was giving me more than the love of a best friend. He loved me and I felt it. I felt his intensity. I didn’t know he was capable of that towards me.
But there were some moments that hurt me when I was with Jungkook recently. He hid his pain from me. Sometimes, I would catch him hissing in pain triggered from his back. It got pretty often that he started hitting his back discreetly to make the pain go away, or at least lessen it – if it ever helped. I didn’t know if I wanted to confront him about it because all he’ll say is that he was fine. Sometimes, he would sweat profusely and he’d ask me to get his meds from his bag. But he wouldn’t mention about it after.
It hurt me tremendously to see him that way. I was helpless as much as he was. He wouldn’t allow me to help him. I really didn’t know what to do so I just made sure I was constantly there for him, making sure that I spent time with him before it was too late.
Since I was constantly out of the house, it raised questions among my family members, especially my parents. Akira knew that I was meeting Jungkook frequently. Considering I was no longer a student, there were no more hostel privileges. I had to meet Jungkook after running an errand or maybe sometime after work, and occasionally, I lied to my parents. Sure, you’re thinking a grown- woman like me still needed permission from my parents? Yep, I still do. My parents are traditionalists. I don’t blame them. Looking at how the world is today, I don’t blame them for being tremendously paranoid about me running off somewhere to meet with people.
But since they didn’t know about Jungkook, they were starting to suspect things. At least, that was what Akira told me. My parents, especially my mum, wouldn’t tell me directly unless she thought things were getting out of hand. At the time, it was almost reaching that level.
“You’ve got to tell Mum and Dad about Jungkook,” Akira told me one day when we were both alone in the house. Mum and Dad went to the hospital and Akira finished work early.
“And risk our relationship? No way.”
“He’s dying, Kira. Don’t you think Mum and Dad should know that your boyfriend is dying?”
“All they know is that Yoongi is my boyfriend. How could I explain this situation to them?”
“Just explain to Mum. You know she’ll understand.”
I heaved a heavy sigh, knowing how true Akira was. I had to talk to Jungkook about this. There was no way out anymore. I didn’t want my mum being too suspicious about things. I had to come clean.
It wasn’t surprising that my family didn’t know about Jungkook but his family knew about me. His parents were pretty open about these things so after my first encounter with his mother, Jungkook told her everything.
At least I think he told her everything.
Anyway, they were alright with me coming to the house and meeting Jungkook there or picked him up to go out. Sometimes, they even let me borrow their car to go out with Jungkook because they had a built-in ramp to make it easier for Jungkook’s wheelchair to be placed in the car. It got to a point where I would park my car at their house and use theirs until we were done going out.
But on the day I decided to tell Jungkook about telling my family through our lunch date, I received a call from him saying that he couldn’t make it – and he sounded really weak.
“Jung, are you okay?” I asked, too worried.
“I’m fine,” he breathed out, but I knew he was having trouble breathing. “I just… I don’t think I can meet you today. I’m… feeling a little weaker than usual.” He managed to chuckle at the end.
“I’m coming to you,” I said authoritatively.
“No. Stay put where you are. I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“Well, too bad. I’m coming now.”
“Kira –“
Before he could say anything else, I hung up. I rushed down the stairs and told my mum I was meeting a friend. She wanted to interrogate further but I rushed out of the house, into the car and zoomed my way to Jungkook’s house. I knew I would be facing a lot of questions later when I got back home but I didn’t mind. I needed to see Jungkook.
When I arrived, Jungkook’s youngest brother, Jungryu, answered the door and immediately let me in as I rushed into his room on the ground floor just behind the kitchen. I stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. I heard a mumble from inside, assuming it was a response. I made my way in.
It was cold in his room. The air conditioner was set cold. I looked at Jungkook and saw that he was sweating. I immediately put my hand on his forehead and he was burning up. He was having a fever. I sighed as I sat by his bed. A bowl of water and a towel was already on the nightstand.
“Kira,” he mumbled with his eyes closed.
“Shh. Hush,” I whispered. I took the towel and slowly dabbed on his forehead and face carefully and gently. He seemed so fragile. He was right, I didn’t like seeing him like this – how fragile he seemed, how he was not him; the usual jumpy, hyper, joyful Jungkook. He’d never let anyone see him weak, including me. The only people he’ll let down his shield for would be his family. But this time, he was making an exception.
When he fell asleep, I sneaked myself out of the room and saw Jungryu at the living area alone and Mrs. Jeon was in the kitchen. I made my way to her and she greeted me with a smile, but not enough to cover the fatigue I saw in her eyes.
“He’s asleep?” She asked as she was putting away the dishes in the dishwasher.
I nodded as I
Comments