It was Minseok who noticed it first.

 

 

Sure, the oldest in the group knew and admits he is a keen observer. He’s the person who would be sitting in the corner, a glint of amusement in his eyes as s start a senseless banter, causing chaos to wherever the group were. Minseok’s quietness is a natural phenomena in their group, sometimes the other members would get a heart attack whenever he speaks or when he’s spoken to. He was the one expected to keep silent in a certain dilemma, but it was never a secret that he’s keeping his tabs and his own opinion to himself. He wouldn’t talk unless spoken to, and whenever he does, all of them listens. His opinions mattered – and the fact that he knows where and when to speak out tells a lot to him as a person.

 

He noticed the longing stares, the lingering touches, the out-of-character softness.

 

 

However, Minseok knew it was just the surface. He haven’t had enough concrete proofs. But he had this feeling – that somehow, what he felt on that trip was something Minseok knew too well.

 

 

He sneered, a sudden pang of pain settling in his chest. He was staring at nowhere in particular, street lights illuminating EXO’s dorm. The silence is deafening, but Minseok didn’t mind. He was contented with being alone, sitting still as the world around him moves. For a moment, his mind stops, memories flooding in. He saw how much a struggle to see another person in pain, too.

 

 

Minseok wasn’t too sure.

 

 

But when he does, however, hear Sehun choke back a gasp with a mixture of pain and surprise flash across his face – he knew he had to be right. Minseok followed the maknae’s line of vision, and felt his heart break, as well. But did he have to conceal his feelings better than Sehun.

 

Their maknae almost dropped the glass of milk he was holding.

 

 

“I love you, Yeol.”

 

“Love you too, Baek.”

 

 

Sehun gasped, more audible, this time. But what Minseok doesn’t get is how the couple hovering in front of Sehun and Baek’s shared room didn’t hear the breaking of both Minseok’s and Sehun’s hearts. He was just surprised to acknowledge the fact that the three of them haven’t even noticed Minseok sitting on the couch just in front of the room. The two kept on with their sweet whispers, ignoring the world. The oldest shook his head, that’s what s are lacking. Awareness.

 

 

Sensitiveness.

 

 

Minseok saw Sehun’s face drained of color. He felt the life seeping out of him, too. Sehun is also appearing to be stopping something from coming out of his throat. But he still waited. It .

 

 

 

Sehun lingered a bit longer. A bit of a masochist, Minseok thought. His face looked like he’d just been shot right in the heart, and the older is sure it felt like it too. Minseok glanced up at the two men hugging with too much affection, then back at Sehun. A few minutes have passed and it’s making Minseok agitated, plus the fact that Sehun was still standing there, with pain in his heart.

 

Minseok notices Sehun wobbled. He was just about to rush to the maknae’s side because it was not right. Both Minseok and Sehun wouldn’t gave the couple the satisfaction of seeing their heart break at the sight of their love. Minseok refuses to let himself show how hurt he is, and neither is Minseok going to let Sehun. It was a good thing Sehun kept his composure, just as Baek plants kisses on the taller’s face before slipping inside the room and the latter leaving the premises.

 

 

Minseok and Sehun both sighs.

 

 

There were a few minutes before he heard Sehun sniffles, and Minseok’s heart breaks at the sound of it. The truth hurts, the situation not being in both of their favors. Minseok never heard Sehun sob, or even show the slightest amount of emotion. It was just on the trip that Minseok saw the maknae show signs of what Minseok thought he isn’t capable of feeling. Minseok tries to chuckle. He tried.

 

Sehun was different on that place.

 

 

Minseok thought of approaching Sehun in the dark but it’s not like he’s going to do better.

 

 

It was a couple of minutes before Sehun walked towards the place where the two were a while ago and takes a deep sigh first. The maknae took his time before opening the door, his strained smile plastered on his beautiful face. Minseok sighed. Sehun doesn’t deserve that kind of pain.

 

Does Minseok, though?

 

 

 

He laid awake just as the sun rose. Minseok thought of Sehun and how he must’ve felt. He thought of Baek’s happiness radiating off of him. He thought of Yeol’s distance. Minseok thought of how its all connected, and unfair. He just wished he could do something out of it but he’s just as helpless.

 

 

 

 

Minseok felt odd.

 

 

His sleep was comfortable, considering last night’s event. Was. He had this odd feeling someone was watching him sleep. He is half-awake now, and was stirring. He knows he is. Sehun’s face is now inside his mind, the maknae’s pained face haunting his dreams. Minseok could almost feel Sehun’s pain, and his, also. He stirs again, mumbling incoherent words. If he wasn’t a while ago, Minseok is now sure someone is watching him.

 

That’s when Sehun’s face appears. Minseok doesn’t even know who or what’s haunting him right at that moment. Was it the pain Sehun felt? Was it his fear? Or was it the fact that there isn’t much of a difference? Minseok wasn’t sure. He stirred again, he could almost feel the pain again. – Almost.

 

 

He jolted awake.

 

 

“Minseok-ah.”  He heard someone whisper. Minseok didn’t took notice until his head starts to hurt. It was just a dream, wasn’t it? “Minseok… please.” There it was again. It couldn’t be. He closed his eyes, a surge of pain swarming in his head. Minseok felt a hand on his. “Minseok… love… please.”

 

 

Love. Minseok’s heart raced.

 

“Stop this… Yeol.” He breathed, removing the taller’s hand on his with gentle care. His words were forced. Minseok knew this wasn’t right. His mind tells him to ignore whatever this is and just sleep it all off. But his heart, his heart is the biggest traitor of it all. “Please. You’re just making it worse…”

 

 

“But Minseok…” Yeol started, his head hung low. Minseok’s head was spinning. His heart and his head hurts so, so bad. If he could just go back when he was alright. When all is fine. When he had Yeol and Yeol had him. Before that stupid trip. Before that stupid night.

 

 

“Yeol… please. Do it for Baek.” Minseok’s words didn’t coincide with what he felt. He wanted to hug the taller right there and then, forgetting about the world. For once, he just wanted all for his own benefit. For once, he going to think about himself first before others. For once. Just this once.

 

 

But no. He was doing so well.

 

 

“I know.. I just. Can I just.. hold you? Even just for tonight?”