Chapter 2

SUGA P.O.V

I could say my life wasn't easy but can I say that it was hard? Probably not. I'm not the person that can judge others. I always considered my life as dark. I didn't see the light at the end of tunnel. I could say that. I was unhappy so I started to smoke. Then I even tried to drink. I've kept doing that till I found my first love.

Piano..

It was like my escape to better half of me. At that times I felt happy. When I felt suffocate I could escape from my bad deep inner voices. Music was my everything. Untill..

I met Jung Kook. When I first saw him. He was so beautiful and that bunny smile. He was so kind. I still remember how I met him.

It was on beautiful spring day. I'm not a morning person and everyday I have to grab some coffee to wake me up. I went to my favourite coffee shop. I was humming melody of song I wrote. I wasn't careful. After a few seconds I bumped into someone. I poured coffee on boy. When I looked up, I've seen the most gorgeous boy.

»Are you alright?« I asked.

»Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry.« He shown his bunny smile.

»What can I do for you? I owe you. I pured coffee on your shirt.«

»Ahahah It's alright. But if you insist you can buy me coffe.«

I remember I bought him latte machiato and we talked for about an hour.. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted to see him again.

»What's your name?«

»My name? I'm Jeon Jung Kook. How about you?«

»I'm Min Yoong Gi.. What's your phone number Jung Kook?«

»You want to meet me again?«

» Sure..« Hell yeah I wanted to see him again.

We exchanged our phone numbers. I think our first meeting was new begin. Like a new chapter in book. I may sound cheesy but he was love on first sight. He become my light on the end of tunnel. He was reason I quit drinking. I couldn't bring myself to quit smoking.

After a few weeks we started dating. At that time was the most beautiful time in my life. He is my happiness. I love him so much. I liked how he didn't judge me because I smoked. I always have white lighter. I heard it brings bad luck but I didn't mind that. I always thought I can decide my fate. I run my life. Only my own decisions can destroy my life.

I didn't want to up my relationship with Jung Kook. I wanted to protect him. He was my everything. I don't think I could breathe without him. I had social anixety. I tried to sleep on bathroom. At those dark times Jung Kook was always next to me. I could cry on his shoulder. I don't think crying is for the weak. I'm still thankful for what he did for me.

I can recall when he moved into my apartment. My apartment wasn't big. Just right for two people. He liked to listen to my music. He listened for hours when I played on piano. When I finished playing he would always clap and smile. I remember how I always wanted him to kiss me as a reward. He liked all song. But one specific song grew to his heart. It was my song that I wrote for him. He would always sat next to me and sing. I really liked to rap. I wrote my own lyrics and compose.

Jung Kook always cheered on me. He said: »Hyung you should become an idol or musician!«.

I smiled: »Kookie the only thing I need to do is to stay next to you and protect you.«.

»I love you hyung!«

»I love you too Kookie!«

We both smiled and next second we were kissing. God I loved his lips. Like our lips were made for each other. I pulled him on my lap and we continued kissing.

At that moment I would like to stop time and be together forever.

Time flies and my releationship was growing with Jung Kook. I know he disliked when I smoked but he didn't complain. I wanted to quit smoking just for him.. I would do everything for my sunshine. I would even buy a star for him. I would run for killometers till I can't breathe anymore.

Sometimes we hanged out with others. I liked SeokJin. He would always cook for us. NamJoon was really smart. He even rapped like monster that's why I gave him a nickname: Rap Monster. Taehyung.. Well he was too bright to be my type. Jimin always put effort into dancing. Hoseok was a dancer too, they used to dance together. I knew Namjoon and Taehyung drew graffiti and once they were caught. Luckily police let them go after 24hours.

We liked to hang out a lot. I knew NamJoon and Taehyung had hots for each other. I even saw them kissing once. They tried to deny but their lips were so swollen.

I wasn't shy infront friends. I liked to kiss Jung Kook a lot. I kissed him even infront friends. They would always made eww sound or shout: »stop making out infront us. Get a room!«

We always smiled. That good memories. People should keep only good memories. They should let bad memories go.They should burn them. But why we keep bad memories? Why can't we burn them or let them fly out the window? Well honestly bad memories are part of our life. We shouldn't think about them but still carry them with ourselves and turn into positive thoughts.

When we were the last time together. The last time I walked hand in hand with Jung Kook. The last time I held him in my arms. My hands around his waist and his head on my chest. The last time we hummed together his favourite song. The last time we listened to bird how were singing. The last time we kissed and shared touches.

After we returned from the sea we were all alone and unhappy. I become miserable again. My anxiety returned again. I couldn't bring Jung Kook down with me. Everything went downhill.

That night I drank wine and the time Jung Kook returned home I was so drunk. We had fight.

He told me he love me but I didn't believe him. The last thing I said to him was:"Don't come closer. You'll become unhappy". I saw how Jung Kook left house with tears. I was the worst man on planet earth.

Next day I recieved phone call. SeokJin called me. I picked up call and I still remember how shocked SeokJin voice sound.

»Yoongi. Jung Kook got into car accident. He's in hospital.«

I threw phone into wall and run as fast I could. When I arrived at hospital. I immediately asked where is Jung Kook. They say he injuried his foot and temporarily lost his memory. I sat down on bench infront his room.

This happened because of me. It's my fault. I didn't protect him. I told him to go away.

I'm sorry Jung Kook. I only make you miserable. I'll leave. You won't see me again.

Thank you that you loved me. I still love you but this has to be our goodbye.