[June 4^th, 2017]

The whistle rang shrilly as the referee shouted. The sound of bodies slamming against water echoed throughout the room as the race began. And then, after the first lap, Hoseok stopped swimming.

“Jung Hoseok!” his coach shouted hotly, striding over to him with his hands on his hips. “What are you doing?! The competition just started!”

“I’m sorry, coach. I’m not feeling well.”

“You’re the captain of this university’s swim team. Do better.”

“Yes, coach…”

The coach bit his lip as he looked at the boy with a shred of pity. The boy looked sickly as if he had stayed up all night crying.

“Is it…”

Hoseok shook his head—he didn’t want to talk about it.

His coach puffed out his chest as he patted the swimmer gingerly on the back.

“Go home early today.”

“Coach…”

“You don’t look too well.”

--

[June 6^th, 2017]

He looked at the blank screen of his phone. Today, too, there would be no returned calls.

--

[June 7th, 2017]

Today he went to the beach. For some reason, for the first time in a very long time, he had wanted to see the sea. Perhaps, even at this age, it would be able to comfort the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes with every passing second.

It was too cold to be summer, yet the digits on the calendar never lied. Summer was near, but at this point, everything seemed like a bittersweet lie.

The waters brushed against his ankles as he treaded, barefoot, along the wet shore. Today, like the day before and the day before that, his heart ached and the tart taste of unspoken words prickled the tip of his tongue.

If he had known that she would be gone as suddenly as she had appeared into his life, he would have perhaps been able to make her stay. His lips pulled up into a sorrowful, heavy smile as the memory of their first meeting flashed across his mind. He had been so flustered to the point where it was hilarious, now that he thought about it. That meeting had been the first of many. And now... it was nothing but a memory that was sure to fade as time passed.

How many days has it been... since you've been gone? I hope you're doing well...

A soft, burdened sigh escaped from his lips as he continued to walk along the shore. Then his eyes settled on something shiny, that was partially buried in the sand. He crouched down and gingerly uncovered the item, only to see that it was a shocking turquoise blue. He stared at it for a long moment, rotating the sparkling round object between his fingers.

What is this?

An unsettling sensation- yet with a tinge of fascination- filled his stomach as he observed the object for another moment. He caressed smooth surface of the blue scale and held it up in the air. The hue of the scale was breathtakingly beautiful against the colors that bleed from the mural of the setting sun. A nervous chuckle rose from his throat as he turned around and began to head back towards his home.

The sea is filled with... big fish.

And somehow, the sea did comfort him.

--

[June 10^th, 2017]

The two of them were walking down the busy streets of Busan—a city that was about an hour away. Jungkook had wanted to go to a night festival that was ongoing for about two straight weeks to celebrate the early days of the summer. After days of convincing him, Hoseok had finally agreed to go.

A huge white banner with big, blocky letters hung skillfully from between two large maple trees. And beyond the trees, the festival was in full swing, a breathtaking concoction of paper lanterns and brightly colored flowers. The main theme of the festival was, of course, the sea. Childish paper cutouts of fish, floaties, sunglasses, watermelon, and other summer items dangled from the food tents.

“Hyung, aren’t you hungry? I was so excited that I forgot to eat,” Jungkook said with a sheepish grin.

Hoseok laughed as he fished a five dollar bill from his pocket. “Go get something to eat, kiddo.”

Jungkook’s eyes lit up as he seized the piece of paper. “I’ll bring back some really good food, hyung! Trust me.”

Hoseok waved the boy away with a small smile. He then pocketed his hands and walked absentmindedly throughout the area, marveling at the beauty of the decorations. The lanterns, in particular, were the prettiest—the soft glow they emitted lit up the darkness that came with nightfall. Somehow, the lights made Hoseok feel less lonely. Then his eyes widened in surprise as he spotted a girl with orange hair. Immediately and impulsively, he began to make his way throughout the crowd of unfamiliar faces. He swallowed hard as he grabbed her by the shoulder.

“Ye Seul—”

The girl turned around, her brows raising in meek surprise at the sudden encounter. His heart plummeted.

“I-I’m sorry. I mistook you for someone else,” he muttered with an apologetic bow of his head.

Why is it that everything reminds me of you? Why is it that I see you everywhere?

“Hyunnnnggg,” Jungkook groaned as he approached Hoseok, his arms overflowing with snacks. “You should’ve told me if you were going to go somewhere. My arms almost fell off while looking for you.”

Hoseok briefly smiled, but it failed to reach his eyes. “Sorry. I thought I saw someone I knew.”

“Who…?” he began, but quickly stopped when he saw the broken expression on his face. “Eat this. Its reallllyyy good,” he said as he reached into a bag and pulled out a churro. “I know you like churros.”

Hoseok took a small bite and made another effort to smile. “It’s good.”

Jungkook sat down on the bench beside him. “It is, isn’t it? I am truly… a man who is good at everything.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head in disbelief. “Jeon Jungkook.”

Hoseok laughed and slapped his leg. “Jungkook-ah.”

“Yeah, hyung?”

“Thanks for making me feel better.”

A trace of a genuine smile appeared on the boy’s lips as he looked at Hoseok.

“Things aren’t the same when you’re so… down. It’s… weird.”

“…Yeah.”

“I’m sure Ye Seul had her reasons for acting the way she did. I’m sure… she’ll come back.”

Hoseok took another bite and chewed as he looked up into the night sky.

“I wonder.”

Jungkook nodded.

“Jungkook?”

“Yeah?”

“Say, do you believe in mermaids?”

--

[June 12^th, 2017]

The days no longer felt like days—they felt like brief seconds that passed in the blink of an eye. In eight days, it would be the first day of summer. In eight days, Ye Seul would return to the sea. The doctor had told her that she would live exactly to the age of 20—no more and no less—and she blindly believed it. It was bittersweet that her death would fall on the first day of summer, a season of warm smiles and laughter.

For the past week, Ye Seul had been living like a hopeless soul. She had spent the nights sleeping under bridges, under the shade by the turtle pond in a park near her old place, and sometimes she had fallen asleep, teary-eyed, on the sands of the beach. She had spent her days wandering throughout the city, either by foot or by bus, after scavenging a few coins from her pockets. Every place she had encountered had been beautiful—a memory she wished to keep even after her passing. Every place she had encountered… was a place she wished she could share with Hoseok.

She hadn’t eaten much during those past days, nor did she have the desire to. Wanderlust had taken reign over both her body and mind. Today, however, she found herself standing in front of a door that she hadn’t seen in what seemed to be a very long time. She stood on top of the worn out welcome mat for a long moment, her knuckles raised against the door, yet unable to bring herself to knock.

What am I even doing here...

Then she bit her lip and turned back the way she had come. She dug her hands into the pockets of her oversized white hoodie and hummed a sorrowful melody. The wind was blowing and the wildflowers that grew on the side of the road swayed side to side. She inhaled sharply and let out a shaky breath as she fought back the stinging tears that formed at her eyes.

[June 15^th, 2017]

She had fallen asleep in the middle of a daisy field, atop a deserted blanket someone had left to rot in the sun. A low groan fell from her lips as she opened one eye and closed it again. The sun was shining brightly overhead.

Then she fell asleep again—only this time she dreamed of another memory.

“Hey, hey, hey, Ye Seul! Stop falling asleep~ We have to study hard for this next quiz, yeah?” Hoseok scolded in the form of a whisper as he brushed away a lock of hair that fell between her eyes.

She replied with a languid groan and raised her head off of her book as she sprouted her arms into the air and stretched them.

Hoseok smiled softly. “Did you not get any sleep last night?”

She shook her head slowly.

“Well.. let’s study for the quiz tomorrow, then. Since it's next week.”

“Are you sure?”

Hoseok laughed. “You’re the one who needs my help, silly!”

“Hey!” Ye Seul shot back with a frown.

“Jokes, jokes. Anyways, I want to show you something.”

“Huh?”

“Come on, let’s go!” Hoseok sang as he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her out of the library room.

They walked across the campus for a good ten minutes before arriving in front of a very tall building. The building seemed ancient and deserted—its white color had faded to a lonely gray. Hoseok opened the door and beckoned her to follow.

“This is the tallest building on campus. Not many know about it, but personally, it’s my favorite place next to the swimming facility.”

She widened her eyes as she looked at the dusty remains of university desks that were piled up inside by the entrance.

“This still works, isn’t it funny?” He laughed as he pressed the cracked glass button for the elevator.

After a few moments, the elevator doors opened and they stepped inside.

“To infinity and beyond,” he chuckled as he pressed the button for the 15^th floor.

“15^th floor? That’s the last floor, right? What’s up there?”

Hoseok grinned. “You’ll see when we get there.”

After a few moments, the doors opened and they stepped out into an isolated hallway, with a door at the very end. Hoseok half ran to the end, Ye Seul following closely behind.

“Wait,” he said with another grin. “Close your eyes.”

She did as he said and then he grabbed her, this time, by the hand as he opened the door.

And when she opened her eyes, her breath caught in .

They were on top of the rooftop, and the whole university stretched out beneath them. You could see hundreds of people, reduced to small specks, moving about. The trees swayed beneath them peacefully, and the clouds were not too far above them. There was something about it all that made Ye Seul feel strange—she felt as if her heart were about to burst. 

“I come here when I’m feeling down sometimes,” he began as he sat down on a small staircase next to the door. He motioned for her to sit down next to him.

“When I’m too tired to think, too tired to swim… I come here and remember that everyone is trying so hard,” he said as he motioned towards all the people that roamed below. “Just like me… So one day we can be where we want to be, you know?” Hoseok smiled for a brief moment.

“But at the same time, I remember that it’s important to put yourself first. To make sure that you’re not just alive… but that you’re also living your life. We aren’t going to be, as sad as it is, alive or young forever. But while we are, we should find balance in our lives and try to live it as best as we can… Care about those who make you happy and smile… But never forget to care for yourself.”

He took a deep breath and broke into a genuine grin.

“I don’t really know what I’m saying. Words are just spilling out of my mouth, aren’t they?” He smiled cheekily. “I just wanted to share this spot with you, Ye Seul. It does wonders for clearing your mind.”

“Hoseok…"

"Hm?"

"Would you be sad if I disappeared one day?”

His smile faltered before disappearing completely.

“Of course, I would…. Is something wrong, Ye Seul?”

It was her turn to smile at him. “No… Just wondering.”

“I feel like our meeting was… sort of like fate.”

“Huh?”

“I’m super close with everyone… you know—Jungkook, Namjoon, Seokjin, Taehyung… all of them. But those bonds took a while to grow to where they are now. But for you… It’s different. I feel like I’ve known you for years already, and it would be weird if you weren’t here all of a sudden.”

“Hoseok…”

He waved his hand in the air. “So don’t say such nonsense! You’re going to make this oppa cry!” He said with a hearty laugh.

“I… I want to feel like I’m living. But at this moment, I’m only alive.”

Hoseok gazed at her for a long moment before breaking out into his signature grin. “Travel!”

“Travel?”

He raised his brows enthusiastically and nodded. “It’s almost summer, which means we’ll be off for a break. Then you can hop on a bus and go to an unknown destination. It’s thrilling, yet peaceful at the same time. When you travel… Just like when I swim… the whole world simply melts away from your grasp and you just let… life carry you.”

She faced him with a teary-eyed smile. “Thanks, Hoseok.”

“H-Hey, why are you crying?”

“I’m just… so glad I met you.”

He didn’t question her any further. He simply told her the same thing.

“I’m glad I met you too, Ye Seul.”

Then she felt something softly touch her cheek. She woke up, still in a state of drowsiness, as it began to rain. She smiled at the gloomy rainclouds above. They seemed almost sadder than her.