Day Six
Before Sunset
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The scream must be from Anonymous. Always trying to isolate herself from the truth, her tales act as a solid protector, to make sure that she won’t break. That she won’t die. That she won’t scream to the world aloud. But for whatever reason, I am able to hear her scream. And for the first time, I believe in fate itself. Tonight, I sleep and dream. I am in the hallway, my chest against the wooden floor and the doorbell is ringing. Behind me is darkness and I feel my legs getting pulled into it as I crawl towards the door just straight ahead of me. I see the crutches leaning against the wall to stand. I use the wall to support me getting up and take the crutches. The darkness is catching up and I rush into fixing the tool under my armpits. As I struggle, I hear Anonymous’ voice behind the door, soothing and soft, saying, “You’re going to be okay.” She repeats that again and again, always leaving a calm pause that demolishes the panic in me. I stand at the middle, facing at the door, taking in her words as the darkness takes me away. There's something different about the air in the ward today compared to the previous days; rowdy. Five boys in one box with no other rooms; Sungjin, Wonpil and Dowoon had just returned to Seoul this morning and has come to see me on my final day in the hospital. They had bought some food and souvenirs from their travels and we had eaten breakfast – of takeaway from MCDs – together. While the scream softens for my sake, we say “I miss you”s in a joking-bro manner and now, Sungjin is telling us about his holiday in Busan. “I wrote a piece there. Inspired by the trip and my meeting with some old friends who turned out hating me. They think I'm there to show off or something… and that went into a fight-!” “Fist fight?” Dowoon cuts him, anticipation written on his face. His question causes for Wonpil to jolt slightly forward from the wall he was leaning on a moment ago. “Did they hurt you?” “It’s really nothing to worry about,” he tells us but we still worry. “Nothing severe happened. Nothing like Jae’s monkey-dancing.” Dowoon suddenly laughs as he can't help but recover the scene of my, as how Sungjin puts it, “monkey-dancing”. “Stop reminding Dowoon about it. You're making him look like a sadist, a psycho. Dowoon, hey! Stop laughing. You shouldn’t be laughing at other people's pain,” I call out, grinning, actually admiring how cute Dowoon looks when he laughs. “How is it, sleeping in the same building as the dead?” The boy asks, grinning back after his laughter died out. Before I can answer him, Brian speaks, “Horror. Not even the least comfortable.” “You only slept here for one night,” I say. “Brian stayed here?” I hear Wonpil voicing in the middle. “And I can tell all of that just by sleeping here for one night!” Brian turns to me, smirking. I play a frown. “I mean, you would agree, right? You've been finding it hard to sleep too. Aren't you happy to finally get out of this place?” “To be honest, not really.” I jerk my head as soon as I realize I have said my thought out loud. It wasn’t supposed to come out that way. The scream is softer than ever that it might as well be gone. All eyes stare at me. Brian’s stare is especially sharper than the others’. “Why? Is the food good here?” Sungjin questions. I laugh. “I wish! Then, Brian wouldn't have to cook for me.” “I bet you have a crush on one of the nurses,” Dowoon says, teasingly. “No, I don't think it's that,” Brian sweeps in. He is now glaring at me, biting his lower lip, showing irritation. I can’t help but feel nervous and guilty about it. Is he angry at me? Why would he be angry even? “Then, it’s a doctor, isn't it?” Dowoon presumes. “Definitely no.” “Brian, he's asking me,” I start. “I think it's time. You, three, must be tired; you just came back. How about you guys head back first?” “I'm not tired. I'll stay with Jae,” Wonpil comes forward and Brian throws to him the dorm keys which he struggles to catch and finally hold. He looks at Brian, dumfounded. Brian gives each of the guys something to carry home. Wonpil, completely ignored, tries to say something. “But I-!” “Don’t forget to turn on the lights when it’s dark outside,” Brian shuts him. “See you guys later,” I holler as they leave the room.
Silence reemerges but so is the scream. The scream is getting louder and louder, filling up the space that the boys have left us with. Brian sits next to me on the bed. He has closed the door and now, we’re two men enclosed from the outside world. He just stares at the door as he speaks, “Do you have… feelings for that ghost girl?” “Anonymous, you mean.” I ga
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