f i v e ; watermelon, strawberry, and mango

It’s been four days since Kai stayed over for dinner. That day, around midnight, my phone went off with a text from him. Tell me something good.

I knew a story that could cheer him up, even if for a little bit.

ethan used to eat carrots in even numbers because he heard that carrots were good for your eyes. he seriously thought that if he didn’t eat them in even numbers, one of his eyes would be worse than the other

I hit send. A few minutes later, Kai replied, Ethan is too precious. We need to protect him at all costs.

The next day, he seemed to be in his usual mood and I felt more relieved when he laughed at a joke. I know we tell each other everything, but sometimes things are too heavy to share. And I don’t want to force him to do that, but I’m always there to listen to what he has to say when he’s ready to.

In homeroom, the girls in front of me are discussing who’s the most good-looking boys in our class year. And I know I shouldn’t entertain myself by listening in, but occasionally it’s too early for me to work on something, or other times like today, I don’t have anything to do.

“Sehun has that cute smile that always kill me a little inside,” one girl whispers, loud enough for the group and me to eavesdrop. I want to high five her despite how she was talking crap me last week.

“What about Vernon? He looks like a young Leonardo DiCaprio at certain angles.” The girls make a chorus of appreciative agreement.

If they’re trying to figure out who’s the most good-looking, it might be pointless. It’s like comparing watermelons to strawberries to mangoes. They are different to each of their own qualities, and it’s up to personal preferences.

They go on to talk about some other names I haven’t heard of. At times like these, I wish I had a group of girlfriends to fangirl with. We don’t have to gossip about other people’s business. We could do stuff girls do like: talk about our feelings, how our periods are syncing, that lipstick shade, offering advice that comes from our girl’s wisdom, our favorite boy bands, borrow clothes from each other. Don’t get me wrong, I love being friends with Kai. And I know he would let me paint on his toenails if I force h—I mean, if I am convincing enough. Nevertheless, it’s just not the same as compared to being close with a group of girlfriends.

In the past, a few girls would try to use me as a source of communication through Kai. At first, I thought that they genuinely wanted to be friends. When they brought up things like, “You’re close to Kai, right?” or “Do you think you can set us up?” in the middle of our conversations, the disappointment that ran through me hurt me more than it should. It changed me a little, made me less trusting, and held girls who try to initiate friendships at a distance. Kai isn’t to blame. He can’t control who likes him and wants to get close to him. And despite how we tell each other everything, I didn’t want to tell him about it in order to spare his feelings. As sensible as he is, he’s going to believe he’s responsible somehow.

“I don’t know about you guys, but Kai’s looks win my heart,” a girl points out.

“No, you’re right. Something about him is . . . I don’t know how to explain it. A good different.”

I accidentally let out a snort loud enough for them to pause their conversation. Wow. I’m so freaking smooth. I pretend that there’s something funny on my phone that caused it, not because I had listened in what they were saying about Kai. In reality, I’m looking at the lockscreen on my phone, and it’s nothing remotely close to snort-producing funny. Buying my act, they resume their hushed whispers, a little quieter and more conscious about people hearing this time. Why weren’t they this quiet when they gossiped false rumors about me?

I do notice that Kai is good-looking. Even though he’s my best friend, I’m not blind to it. But I don’t have the same reaction when I look at him. In fact, when you’ve witness Kai before pre-puberty, you’re going to be immune to his looks now. In middle school, Kai was this lanky boy with shaggy hair and baby fat on his cheeks. He started putting on more weight as the same time as he was growing taller. Joining the swimming team transformed his baby fat to muscles. Gone with the awkward hair styles, he gained more attention from people in high school. Of course, I’ve also changed due to puberty and all. However, it wasn’t dramatic of a transformation as Kai.

Maybe a part of me prefered it when Kai was in middle school. Before the disappointment that followed when girls found out I’m close to the one of the good-looking boys in Lincoln High.

•   •   •   •   •   •   •

“I have good news and bad news,” Kai blurts.

It’s break time. Ever since the break where Sehun and I talked, it was the last time we had a conversation. Kai advised that it’s better if I don’t talk to him every chance I get, in order not to risk making it too obvious. “Good things come to those who wait,” he’d said. That’s not a bad suggestion, so I didn’t argue against it.

“Good news first.”

Rotating the code to his lockers, he merely explains, “Bowling.”

“The good news is bowling?” My voice drips in sarcasm. “You did it, Kai. You found the answers to universe. Bowling's going to stop wars and end world hunger.”

“If you could stop being a smartass for a second and I’ll tell you.”

I sigh. “So what about bowling?”

“Sehun agreed to bowling with you and I.”

“Oh my god!” I cheer, practically bouncing up and down. Then I remember the other part of the news, my excitement drops. “Then what’s the bad news?”

Kai swallows before answering, his Adam’s apple moving visibly. “Vernon is going to join us—H-hey it’s 2017! It’s equally problematic if girls hit boys!”

I put my books down. I wasn’t actually going to hit him with them, but it