In Dahyun’s opinion, the most blessed and holy of all days was a day off. Whenever it occurred she liked to honour the day by doing a large amount of sleeping. It was her sacred ritual, she loved sleep as much as Momo loved jokbal or Sana loved kissing girls.

Well ok, maybe not that last one. Sana really enjoyed kissing girls.

But anyway, it was finally her day off, and she was fully prepared to spend it doing absolutely nothing. Even the group’s energy charger needed to rest sometimes, and while the others watched tv or went out shopping, Dahyun was looking forward to spending the majority of the next 24 hours blissfully unconscious.

She threw herself onto to the couch, ignoring Nayeon’s protests as she narrowly avoided smashing the tv remote. Letting herself completely relax, she snuggled into one of the cushions and closed her eyes.

“Dahyun-unnie can I talk to you for a minute?”

And just like that, Dahyun’s dreams of a peaceful day were crushed.

If it were Momo or Mina calling her, she would just pretend to be asleep. But she knew that Tzuyu was too persistent to ignore, so she sighed and got up. Tzuyu gestured for her to follow her into the bedroom and Dahyun obliged, although she did stomp her feet the whole way there to show her displeasure at being disturbed.

But once Tzuyu closed the door and it was just the two of them, Dahyun forgot all about her grumpiness. Mostly due to how freaked Tzuyu looked. The younger girl was wringing her hands and biting her lip and looked like she’d rather be anywhere other than here, which was a bit rich considering she was the one who asked Dahyun to talk.

“Ok what did you want to-”

“You love me, right?”

Dahyun blinked.

“Uh, what?”

“We’re ride or die, aren’t we? As a member of the School Meal Club and my close friend, you’d do anything to protect me, right?”

Ah shoot.

“Alright Tzuyu.” she sighed “Just tell me where the body is and I’ll take care of it.”

“What? No, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

Tzuyu looked like she was regretting ever asking Dahyun to talk, but it wasn’t Dahyun’s fault that she was being so weird.

“Look, tell me what’s wrong. If you didn’t accidentally kill someone, what’s got you so worked up?”

Tzuyu stayed silent, ducking her head to avoid Dahyun’s questioning eyes. Something about her shyness set a lightbulb off in Dahyun’s head. She’d seen that body language countless times on cliché tv shows.

“Aha! You’ve got a crush, don’t you?”

Tzuyu’s lack of a response was as close to a confirmation as Dahyun was going to get.

“Aw, that’s so cute! Our maknae finally starting to experience the joys of love! Why did you choose to confess to me about it? Wait.” Dahyun froze. “I’m not the one you have a crush on, am I?”

That got a reaction. Tzuyu’s head shot up as she glared at Dahyun.

“Ew. Don’t be gross.”

“Wow. Hurtful. I am hurt. You know there are plenty of people who would love to date me.”

“I hope they get the help they need soon.”

Dahyun couldn’t help but grin at Tzuyu’s familiar banter. Any other time she would have defended her viability as a crush but today she wasn’t getting distracted. Tzuyu had a crush strong enough that she needed to tell someone about it and Dahyun wasn’t leaving this room until she got a name.

Although it was strange, she would have thought that Jihyo or Chaeyoung would be the first to know. Especially Chae, considering how comfortable Tzuyu was around her.

“So, does Chaeyoung know about this?”

Tzuyu choked on air and stared in horror at Dahyun like she’d just suggested banning all dogs from Korea.

“How did you know?”

“You just… you just told me.”

“I didn’t tell you who it was!”

“I know you- Hang on.” Dahyun’s eyes widened. “You have a crush on Chaeyoung? That’s who this is about?”

“Wait, you didn’t know?”

“Not until five seconds ago nope.”

“Thank god.” Tzuyu gasped in relief. “I was scared I was too obvious about it.”

“I mean, it’s no secret you two are like best friends.” Dahyun shrugged. “And it’s also no secret among us members that she’s gay but I never assumed you were into her that way.”

“Well I am.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“If you tell anyone I’ll murder you and they’ll never find the body.”

“Understood.”

Well, at least the crush wasn’t making her any softer.

“Please help me.”

Or, maybe it was.

“You want my help with this?” Dahyun was stunned.

“I don’t know what to do!”

Oh wow, that was the cutest whine Dahyun had ever heard from Tzuyu.

“Do you want me to help you confess to her or…?”

Tzuyu shrugged helplessly, and Dahyun had a feeling that they were both completely out of their depth here. Maybe that’s why Tzuyu had come to Dahyun in the first place, needing someone who was just as clueless about these things as she was.

“I don’t know if she likes me back.” Tzuyu explained. “And I need to know for certain before I tell her. Otherwise it’ll screw everything up and we’ll be really awkward around each other and I can’t risk losing her like that.”

Dahyun subtly pinched herself, just to check that she hadn’t actually fallen asleep and this wasn’t all a dream in which her friends reenacted some highschool drama she recently watched.

“Ok then.” Dahyun said once she confirmed that it was all real. “Let’s think about how we can find out if she likes you. I could try and ask her but I have a feeling I’d slip up and she’d realise what we were up to.”

“Wait, so you’re actually going to help me?” Tzuyu looked shocked, which made Dahyun grin.

“As if I could let my younger members suffer! Don’t worry Tzuyu, Kim Dahyun: Romance Expert is on the case!”

Tzuyu looked sceptical, but she returned Dahyun’s fist bump which made Dahyun squeal internally.

“Ok, so I have an idea: I read about a funfair nearby. We should persuade Chaeyoung to come, and then you can try and pretend it’s a date and see if she likes it. Meanwhile, I’ll be there thirdwheeling and making sure you don’t screw up and give her a black eye like last time.”

“It’s not my fault those hook-a-duck poles were too long.” Tzuyu said defensively. “Plus I won her a prize in the end didn’t I?”

“Oh young one.” Dahyun managed to pat Tzuyu’s head twice before she batted her hand away. “You have so much to learn about the art of love.”

“I have a grave reserved with Nayeon’s name on it that can easily be changed to yours.”

Dahyun was like ninety nine percent sure Tzuyu was joking, but she still took a step back just in case.

Chaeyoung was easily persuaded to come to the funfair thanks to the joint efforts of Tzuyu and Dahyun. She did seem a little suspicious by how happy the two of them were when she said yes, but whatever, Dahyun was invested in this plan now. This was a story she would tell the group years down the line whenever they fought over the title of best wingwoman. Or this was a story she would share with the group when they were talking about their worst dates ever.

Hopefully it would be the first option.

The fairground was only a ten minute walk from their apartment, and Dahyun decided that the second they left the apartment was when her mission began. She was careful to walk in front of them, and when she glanced back after five minutes she was delighted to see Tzuyu’s arm around Chaeyoung and Chaeyoung resting her head on Tzuyu’s shoulder.

Operation Chaeyu, Stage One: Success. Player Kim Dahyun advances to Stage Two.

Yeah, maybe she was spending a little too much time with Mina.

The funfair was bright and lively by the time they got there, and Dahyun smiled as she watched Chaeyoung’s face light up and Tzuyu stare softly at her.

Sana may think that pushing Mina and Momo into a kiss made her the group’s expert on love, but Dahyun was ready to fight for that claim. After today, that best wingwoman title would be hers.

“Where do you want to go first?” Tzuyu asked Chaeng, hooking their arms together.

Chaeyoung hummed, scanning the fairground thoughtfully.

“Want to share a candyfloss with me? I didn’t really get a chance to eat before coming here.”

They set off towards the stall, with Dahyun skipping along a few steps behind them. Any other time she would be loudly asserting her presence and dragging the other two towards all her favourite games, but today her goal was to make them completely forget she was here. Which was kind of hard considering Dahyun was practically vibrating with excitement.

Mina had once claimed that Dahyun had no chill and yeah, ok, she could see why Mina would say that. But dang it for the next few hours Dahyun was determined to be the calmest, most quiet person at this funfair, if only for the satisfaction of returning home with a brand-new couple while Sana still struggled to get Mina and Momo to talk about their kiss.

And also, because the way Chaeyoung and Tzuyu shared the candyfloss with each other was freaking adorable. Tzuyu took the smallest bites, preferring to watch Chaeyoung eat no matter how often the shorter girl offered her the stick. Every time Chaeyoung passed the candyfloss to Tzuyu she’d start to laugh, and then Tzuyu would laugh back and the candyfloss would be forgotten for a moment as they just basked in each other’s company.

(Dahyun stood beside them trying to control the smile on her face and not seem like a creeper. She wasn’t hugely successful at either.)

“What’s next?” Chaeyoung asked Tzuyu once the candyfloss was finished.

Tzuyu’s eyes flickered around the fair, lighting up when they landed on the hook-a-duck stall.

“How about-”

“Hey look shooting games! Aren’t they fun! Let’s go play!”

Tzuyu glared at Dahyun for interrupting her but Dahyun ignored her, grabbing Chaeyoung and pulling her towards the toy guns. Tzuyu could thank her later when her date didn’t end with a visit to the hospital.

Some things in life just weren’t meant to be: Dahyun with chill, Jeongyeon with that one horse, all of Twice with being straight, and Tzuyu with hook-a-duck. Far be it for Dahyun to argue when nature presented her with these very clear laws.

Tzuyu had yet to be enlightened the way Dahyun had, so she sulked while Chaeyoung and Dahyun analysed the prizes. Eventually Chaeyoung pointed towards a fluffy tiger teddy almost as big as she was.

“I think I want that one.” Chaeyoung decided.

Dahyun jabbed Tzuyu between the ribs with the of her rifle, snapping the younger girl out of her funk. When Tzuyu turned to snarl at her Dahyun tilted her head towards Chaeyoung, and understanding dawned in Tzuyu’s eyes.

“I bet I can win you that tiger.” Tzuyu announced, grabbing Dahyun’s rifle and positioning herself in front of the targets.

There we go. Dahyun grinned. At least you’re not completely uselesss at this.

Unfortunately, while Tzuyu did understand the romance behind winning Chaeyoung that tiger, she didn’t quite have the skills to pull it off.

“Give it up.” Dahyun groaned as Tzuyu angrily gave the stall owner more money. “You’re never going to hit all the targets needed.”

“I can do it.” Tzuyu hissed, aiming the rifle at the nearest can.

Chaeyoung winced as the shot missed, while Tzuyu barely flinched, just reloading the rifle and aiming again.

“Tzuyu it’s ok. We’ve been at this for almost an hour let’s just try something else.”

Dahyun could see the owner growing just as annoyed as she was. An angry girl and her two miserable friends weren’t a good look for his stall. Slipping around to the back of the stall while Chaeyoung tried to convince Tzuyu that she didn’t really need the tiger, she tapped the man on the shoulder and held out a wad of cash.

“Let her win the tiger and I’ll pay for it.” she whispered.

The owner looked ready to refuse her, but then a loud crash came from the front of his stall as Tzuyu missed another target and he hastily grabbed the money.

“Just take the prize and go.”

Tzuyu looked ridiculously proud handing Chaeyoung the tiger considering she only hit a target six times in the hour that they spent there. But Dahyun held in her snarky comment, because Chaeyoung looked delighted and even kissed Tzuyu on the cheek as thanks.

“Have a nice day! Please don’t come back here!” The owner shook his head as they left his stall. “Your girlfriend is dedicated, I’ll give you that.”

Tzuyu froze, but Chaeyoung calmly kept walking. Dahyun would think she hadn’t even heard the man if it wasn’t for her red cheeks.

Evidence!! The giddy part of Dahyun’s mind screamed.

Embarrassment. The reasonable part argued.

There was a slight tension in the air as they wandered around, but Dahyun noticed that even as they played various games, Chaeyoung’s hand never left Tzuyu’s. The man’s comment had made things a little awkward, but it hadn’t necessarily ruined everything. From a safe non-dizzy distance Dahyun watched the way Chaeyoung held Tzuyu as they were spun around on a ride, and deduced that Tzuyu’s feelings definitely weren’t unrequited.

Even when Tzuyu went to let go as they got off the ride, Chaeyoung clutched her hand harder in a move Dahyun could only describe as clingy. Tzuyu looked down at her curiously but Chaeyoung just smiled unapologetically and Tzuyu’s expression softened into a smile of her own. She tugged Chaeyoung’s arm closer, and the grin on Chaeyoung’s face got wider.

It was so adorable and sweet that Dahyun could feel herself getting diabetes. It was clear to her that the two of them only needed one last push to realize their mutual attraction, and Dahyun was going to give them that push no matter the cost.

At least, that was what she thought, until she saw Chaeyoung eyeing the large rollercoaster in the centre of the funfair.

Ah shoot.

“We really need to go on that before we leave.” Chaeyoung commented.

Tzuyu nodded, turning to walk towards the large monstrosity. Dahyun hung back, clutching the large tiger teddy they had affectionately dubbed Frank.

She prayed that her plan to make them forget her had worked, but while Tzuyu seemed perfectly fine to leave Dahyun behind, Chaeyoung didn’t look too happy.

“I feel like we’ve been excluding you.” she explained, tugging Dahyun into the line for the ride.

“Excluding me?” Dahyun laughed nervously. “I’ve been excluding myself. You know these rides aren’t my thing.”

“I know, but it was your idea to come here, so I’m not leaving without one ride that the three of us all go on.”

“But the carriages are two-seater anyway! I’ll be sitting by myself.”

“Physically yes, but not in spirit.”

Dahyun wanted to point out how ridiculous that argument was, but Tzuyu was staring intensely at her from behind Chaeyoung’s back while slowly dragging a finger across her neck.

Dahyun gulped, her eyes flickering from Tzuyu's death glare to the giant metal health hazard they wanted to sit in for fun. 

God help me.

“Let’s ride.” she sighed, and the two faces in front of her lit up with beaming smiles.

As she sat alone in the carriage in front of the younger two, with the wind whipping at her face and the cart rattling like it was going to spin off the rails at any second, the one thought that Dahyun comforted herself with was that no other member was going to top her dedication to matchmaking anytime soon.

And when she got off the ride and was handed two photos taken from just before the steepest drop, she couldn’t stop the loud whoop of victory that escaped her.

Because while the picture of her was a blurry undignified mess that she was definitely going to burn later, the second photo showed Chaeyoung and Tzuyu with their eyes shut and their hands clasped together, sharing what Dahyun was certain was their first kiss.

“Kim Dahyun: Romance Expert – Mission Success!”

Let Sana try and top this.