It should’ve been over. Their undercover investigation was a success: the published piece received many responses, including that from the government. The tobacco factory was taken over and the child workers were returned to their families. More people paid attention so the kids wouldn’t just go to another sweatshop. People actually took actions. Helping the poor families securing jobs so they no longer had to make their children work. Things were starting to look up.

It’s been six months. Jun had been covering other stories since then. The usual ones that didn’t require him to live in disguise. But his mind wouldn’t leave the days he spent undercover. His heart was still thinking about it. About Chan. The boy who was—sadly—a former colleague at the tobacco factory.

Memories and thoughts of the boy filled him as he stared at his computer. The address of an adoption agency stared back at him from the bright screen.

“It’s near my source.”

“The deep voice made Jun jump on his seat. Heart still beating frantically, he turned his chair around, only to be greeted by Wonwoo’s impassive face.

“What?”

“I’m meeting a source and the place’s near.” Impatience started coloring Wonwoo’s face when Jun didn’t respond. “It’s far. You want to catch a train and then walk some more, or ride with me?” It was a nice offer, but of course, Wonwoo had to say it so arrogantly.

“Thanks but...”

It actually wasn’t Wonwoo’s attitude that made him hesitant. He wanted to go, but couldn’t. It pained him and he clutched the bracelet over his left wrist, seeking salvation.

Wonwoo’s eyes dropped to Jun’s lap for a mere second before going back to look at Jun straight in the eye.

“It’s where Chan is,” he said as-a-matter-of-factly. Jun nodded.

It’s rare to see Wonwoo showing emotions, so Jun was surprised to witness his colleague raising an eyebrow.

“I thought you were close.”

Wonwoo’s words made Jun gripped his bracelet stronger. The bracelet Chan gave him. He looked at it as he spoke.

“I can’t go. The agency told me he’s had several potential adoptive parents, but they fell through and he’s tired. He can’t take any more ‘almost’, on top of struggling with life in foster house. I can’t just go there and give him false hope.” Jun stopped to look up. He didn’t want to look at Wonwoo, but if he kept looking down, he’s scared that he would cry.

“The agency won’t let me adopt him because I’m single.”

Jun knew he was rejected based on logical reasons. Not only single, he’s also a photographer for a newspaper company, not exactly a 9 to 5 job. Although he had many friends, who he’s sure would help him with raising Chan, the agency wouldn’t approve unless he had family and relatives living nearby. His family was across the sea and in another country. Those were some of the many reasons why he was deemed unfit to raise a child. They just wanted the best for Chan. Jun understood.

But.

“False hope, you said.” Wonwoo’s eyes were cold and Jun wanted to look away. “I don’t know about that, but I think it’s cruel to make promises to a child and break it.”

It was a stab to Jun’s chest. But it’s not Wonwoo’s fault. Jun did promise Chan to see him again. He said that.

So Jun looked into Wonwoo’s eyes and asked.

 

**

 

Jun had to bite his lips. He didn’t want to cry, not when Chan was right in front of him, his legs with so much strength. He thought he’d done a great job holding back tears when he pulled Chan away to get on both knees and look at the boy in the eye. Chan’s smile was bright. Beautiful. So Jun should smile too.

They moved to a corner of a play room, where toys were neatly stored in two bozes. Can pulled Jun’s and with much excitement, but he didn’t touch any of the toys. Instead, he asked Ms. Yoona, the agency staff, for “the song”. Ms. Yoona nodded and went out of the room before coming back with a small cassette player. It’s been a while since Jun had seen one of those.

When the music was played, Chan changed. The 7-year-old usually had this permanent scowl on his face, except when he was playing with Jun. Dancing was another exception.

The boy didn’t move gracefully. His motions were more about power, impact. Each turn and twist was fearless, mesmerizing Jun like they had many times in the past. Jun had fallen in love with Chan before he first saw the boy dance, but the dance was what made him realize the fact.

The last turn and ending pose were done. Jun clapped with Ms. Yoona. Meanwhile, Wonwoo just stood there and Jun gave him a quick glare but he didn’t want to make a scene.

“Chan! That was a nice one. Thank you for showing us.” He hugged Chan tightly and the boy’s head, relishing how the boy seemed to find comfort in his hold. He kissed Chan’s head and whispered “Good boy, good boy.” It surprised him when Chan suddenly struggled out of his arms.

“I’m not a good boy.” He was scowling.

Broken-hearted, Jun asked, “Why do you say that?”

“No one wants me.”

Jun wanted to oppose. To say it’s not true. But hesitance crept back to his heart. Who was he to say such thing?

Saddened by his powerlessness, Jun was late to realize what happened next. Even if he did notice, he would still be shock. It’s something that Jun had never expected from Jeon Wonwoo.

Wonwoo squatted next to him and looked at Chan straight in the eye. Chan looked back with forehead still scrunched.

“You’re a good boy.”

Wonwoo spoke like he always did, with conviction and not a room from doubts.

“You’re a good boy,” he repeated with the same manner.

Creases fell apart from Chan’s forehead. Although smile was not yet back to his face, the boy gave a nod.

 

**

 

“Let’s get married.”

To say that hearing those words in Wonwoo’s indifferent tone was surprising, now that’s the understatement of the century.

Jun had known Wonwoo for about three years. “Know” meant recognizing each other’s name, face, and job position, also give acknowledgement with a short nod when they accidentally met. They were from different sections in the paper. Wonwoo was his senior and a promising investigation reporter. Jun mostly took pictures for fluff pieces after doing a brief stint at the sports section.

Under normal circumstances, they wouldn’t have crossed paths, but the investigation team reached out to Jun because he had connections in the area where the tobacco factory was located. So his boss asked him to get himself and Wonwoo access to uncover the practice of child labor in the factory. That’s how he spent a month working with Jeon Wonwoo. Thankfully, they didn’t need to live together, but he spent enough time with his colleague to know how insufferable the latter could be. Too blunt and insensitive despite being perceptive. Jun still couldn’t believe this Jeon Wonwoo was the same person as the Jeon Wonwoo who wrote several of their paper’s best investigation reports. Jun had cried when he read one of Wonwoo’s writings and had the digital version of the piece saved in his bookmark (but he would never tell Wonwoo).

Jun also couldn’t believe that the same Jeon Wonwoo just proposed to him.

“What—are you—what?” he stuttered as he stared at the left side of Wonwoo’s face. Wonwoo didn’t move his gaze from the street in front of them. His hands on the steering wheel moved with composure. Irritation only showing in his voice.

“If you were listening, you would’ve known that I was talking about how we should get married to adopt Chan.”

“We—what?”

Wonwoo sighed and veins were starting to be visible on his forehead. Jun quickly added.

“I know, I get it! But why?”

Jun didn’t understand. He thought Wonwoo didn’t care. He didn’t know what to say and stayed silent until Wonwoo parked the car in their office’s parking lot. Once he turned off the engine, Wonwoo turned to look at Jun.

“The boy deserves more than false hope.” Wonwoo simply said. There was no hesitance in his for nor his eyes.

 

**

 

Jun’s family didn’t expect it but was pleasantly surprised. They welcomed Wonwoo with many excited laughter and plates of food. Wonwoo, with his business smile and impeccable background managed to impress everyone. They were also supportive about Chan, repeatedly telling Jun and Wonwoo to bring the boy to visit once the legal process was done.

Wonwoo’s family was equally supportive. At first Jun was anxious, especially when thinking that it’s Wonwoo’s family. To his surprise they were warm people with cute habit of crinkling their noses when laughing. Jun was actually glad to have them as family.

Jun’s friends didn’t welcome the idea at first. To be exact, they were shocked. Jun usually told them everything about his personal life and never once that he mentioned Wonwoo. They were considerably less apprehensive about Chan though, even getting ahead of Jun in getting clothes and educational toys, gathering info about schools. Jun was grateful.

His colleagues at work had fun teasing him and Wonwoo for days. “Maybe I should go into undercover investigation with my crush,” said Soonyoung, the jolly reporter from sports section. Jun didn’t get flustered—there was nothing to be flustered about—and of course the ever stoic Wonwoo didn’t too.

Jun and Wonwoo had discussed it. Explaining their deal to others would be a hassle, so they let everyone—including their family—believed what they wanted to. It’s not that they started with a lie. They didn’t actually say that they loved each other, just that they were getting married and adopting a child.

Later on they did, however, had to lie every once in a while. When someone asked what made them love each other, Jun had to twist his brain and muster nice adjectives as many as he could. Wonwoo, on the other hand, simply answered, “He’s good at cooking.” Jun’s family was pleased with that while his friends were like, “Well, he is pretty good” and “Get the heart from the stomach, no kidding.” Jun was upset that Wonwoo didn’t make any effort to compliment his personality, choosing to praise his cooking, which he had never let Wonwoo taste before. But whatever.

It took almost a month before they could bring Chan home. During the time, Jun learned more about Wonwoo and how to live with him. Apparently, Wonwoo was meticulous not only with work but also his house. Jun considered himself as quite tidy so they fortunately didn’t encounter any major clash in housekeeping. Both were early birds too, no need to worry about disrupting each other’s lifestyle. It’s surprising that even their taste in food matched. Most of Jun’s friends couldn’t handle his love for spicy food so he was (secretly) pleased to find a spicy-fan in Wonwoo.

Overall, Jun learned that Wonwoo wasn’t such a bad person to be with after all, except for the (many) times Wonwoo didn’t respond to Jun’s stories. Jun loved to talk while Wonwoo not so much. At least a simple “I see” or a hum would be nice, but Wonwoo cared more about his books or the news on TV. Jun was disappointed but he could learn to live with it.

Jun also learned how to sleep on the same bed as Wonwoo. Initially he offered separate beds, thinking that it must be awkward for Wonwoo too. But Wonwoo didn’t even bat an eyelid when he refused. “I don’t want to deal with my parents or yours when they visit and see.” He had a point.

On their first night sharing the same bed, Jun felt nervous at first. But seeing Wonwoo acting nonchalantly, he began to feel stupid and thanks to that, he let go of his awkwardness pretty quick. None of them was a tosser so embarrassing moments were easily avoided. The conclusion of this lesson: sleeping (on the same bed) with Wonwoo wasn’t so bad.

The challenge, to Jun’s surprise, started once Chan came into the “family”. Jun started to realize that he had been too naïve.

Chan was having trouble adjusting to school. Just like at the adoption agency, the boy couldn’t get along with the other kids. When Jun and Wonwoo were called to school, his teachers described him as “very self-oriented and lacking consideration for others.” He often disrupted the class with his shenanigans and was rude to his classmates.

Jun had a guess to what made Chan behave like this. The boy originally came from a family of ten. It seemed that he spent most of his life without proper attention before ultimately getting sold to the tobacco factory, left without no way of contacting his own blood-relatives. Chan needed love and affection, more than Jun and Wonwoo could provide.

Working for a newspaper meant no definite working time. Jun and Wonwoo’s family lived far away and at times their friends would be too busy. So Jun and Wonwoo often had to leave Chan at a child care center, but it had been hard to convince the center to take Chan because of his “troublemaker tendencies”. Juggling work and child-rearing became almost impossible.

One day, they snapped.

Jun just came home after a lengthy report for the province’s biggest event of the year. He’d moved around a stadium and taken pictures under the heat all day; now his body was screaming. The thought of hot bath quickly came into mind, but disappeared as quickly when Wonwoo came home after him. Alone.

“Where’s Chan?”

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow to Jun’s question.

“You’re supposed to pick him up.”

“Yes, but I texted you.”

“What text?”

Jun was raising his voice at this point.

“I told you. They’re running out on people so I had to stay and I needed you to pick up Chan. Wh—why can’t you just read the text? Why are you always like this?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrow was no longer raised but now his voice was ice cold.

“There was no text.”

“You don’t check your phone and just shut yourself in your own world like you don’t have any other responsibilities—“ Jun could hear his own voice; loud, angry, distorted. It was unpleasant but he couldn’t stop himself.

“I checked my phone—I check it frequently now after you attacked me for it the other day, so I checked it, many times today. There was no text.” Wonwoo’s voice was equally ugly. God, Jun hated this.

“—it’s always like this! Why can’t you listen!”

Why can’t I stop?

“You listen! You’re not listening!”

Both of them eventually stopped screaming to catch their breath. Wonwoo’s face was twisted in anger and Jun was sure that he looked the same.

Wonwoo closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them, he still looked tense but less hostile.

“Can you...” said Wonwoo. He didn’t raise his voice. “...uhm, I’m going to get something. Can you wait?”

Jun still felt his chest burning with anger but he nodded without protest. When Wonwoo came back with two glasses of water and handed one to him, Jun was so surprised that he forgot that he was angry. For a while they stayed seated across each other, emptying the glasses of water in silence.

“I’m sorry.” Wonwoo broke the silence and prompting Jun too look up. “No matter what the problem was, I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Wonwoo’s eyes were sure and sincere.

“You deserve respect and I’m sorry for my actions.”

Jun shook his head and gulped. “My phone... I checked. It’s dead. My text wasn’t sent.” It was terrible enough that he had yelled at Wonwoo, more so when he was the cause of their fight.

He felt that he shouldn’t be forgiven so easily, but he wanted to take the first step in making things right.

“I’m sorry.”

To his surprise, Wonwoo chuckled.

“Are you too tired to eat out?” asked Wonwoo.

Still confused, Jun replied, “Not really.”

“Let’s get Chan and go to Tang’s.”

With Wonwoo’s smile and the prospect of going to his favorite Chinese with the three of them, Jun felt much better.

What also improved was the way they had fights. There were no more yelling or accusing words. Disagreements and problems never stopped appearing, and they still get irritated towards each other once in a while, but their fights were no longer destructive. Instead, they became constructive.

The change also brought positive effect to Chan. Being able to tackle the unpleasant with healthier attitude saved a lot of energy and allowed both parents to be more considerate with Chan. They were less to strain a smile whenever Chan was being needy. Chan seemed to notice the difference in them and responded with equal earnestness.

Things got even better after Wonwoo asked his friend Seungcheol for advice and invited Seungcheol’s family home. From their interactions, Jun could see that Seungcheol and his partner Joshua was great parents for their son Seungkwan. He and Wonwoo learned a lot about parenting from them, while Chan learned how to be nicer to people from Seungkwan (who fortunately had more patience than Chan’s classmates or teachers).

However, the problem of balancing workload and household chores persisted for quite some time. Their new attitude did make things easier, but Jun decided that it’s not enough. So one night after Chan had fallen asleep, he told Wonwoo that he wanted to quit the company.

“You like your job.” Concern was clear from Wonwoo’s eyes.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not fair that you’re the only getting your career ruined. I can—“

“Wonwoo.”

Jun didn’t know if it was okay, but he put his hands on top of Wonwoo’s. They had been married for more than two years now but physical contact only included their shoulders and knees touching when they shared a sofa.

Still, he squeezed Wonwoo’s hand and said, “It’s fine.”

Wonwoo looked upset. Upset for him. Looking at Wonwoo’s face, Jun thought that quitting his job felt less depressing now. He felt even better when Wonwoo squeezed his hand back.

 

**

 

Jun applied for a job as a photographer in a photo studio, so now he could work normal hours and attend to Chan more. He still missed his old job but seeing Chan’s smile every time he picked the boy up after work really made everything worth it.

While Jun’s time at home increased, it was the opposite for Wonwoo. Spending less time at home meant having less time with Chan. Jun was worried.

Chan had become less hostile in expressing his need for attention, but he still demanded a lot. When Wonwoo’s work didn’t allow him to give as much as Chan wanted, the boy took it as a sign of indifference and became cold towards Wonwoo. It broke Jun’s heart to see Wonwoo’s face when he tried to engage in a conversation with Chan and the latter responded with short replies and unenthusiastic look.

One day Jun tried something. He busied himself with printing Wonwoo’s articles, putting some in a binder and others in frames. The ever inquisitive Chan took notice and asked what he was doing.

“It’s your father’s work,” Jun said with a smile and beckoned Chan to sit on his lap.

Together they flipped through the pages as Jun told Chan the story for each piece, how each writing influenced the people involved. Although Chan was usually eager to ask questions, this time the boy stayed silent. His eyes tracing the printed words as Jun explained.

Finally Jun got to one of the framed pieces, the one about the tobacco factory where Chan used to work. By the end of his story, Chan turned his body on Jun’s lap and looked at him with serious eyes.

“He’s amazing.”

Smiling, Jun replied, “He is.”

Since then, Chan began to approach Wonwoo and ask him questions about his work. They spent more time together and Jun felt a bit lonely at times, but he was happy to see Chan talking to Wonwoo with his own will. He also felt warmth in his chest when Wonwoo’s eyes got teary after Chan declared, “I want to be like you, Dad.”

 

**

 

Wonwoo went for another undercover investigation. He promised Chan to make time and call. Chan simply said, “Just be safe, Dad” and gave a tight hug. Jeon Wonwoo could smile but Jun had almost never seen him grinning from ear to ear, so Wonwoo’s huge smile when he went out the door was slightly creepy but endearing nonetheless.

Wonwoo stuck to his words and called once in a while. Chan usually monopolized the call, leaving Jun with little time to hear Wonwoo’s voice. Soon, Jun found himself getting annoyed at his own son (he kept the feeling to himself).

One time Wonwoo called when Chan was out playing with Seungkwan. The first time Wonwoo said after saying hello was “Where’s Chan?” The next thing was asking how Chan had been. Jun told him about the baseball game where it suddenly rained and Chan got a bit feverish, but he had recovered quickly, and most importantly, he was happy with the game and got new friends. Wonwoo asked if Jun had some pictures and the photographer assured that he had plenty to show when Wonwoo’s back. After relaying his thanks, Wonwoo said, “So, how are you, Jun?”

The unexpected question brought a jolt to Jun’s chest, but it was warm and pleasant.

“What’s up?”

“Hmm?”

“You never asked before.”

“I can’t ask how my husband is doing?” said Wonwoo with a chuckle. Jun chuckled along while the warmth in his chest spread all over him.

After their chuckling subsided, Wonwoo continued, “I don’t know... Usually no matter how busy we still see each other in the morning and night but now... I guess I just miss you...”

Reveling in the sound of Wonwoo’s voice and the quickening beat of his own heart, Jun replied, “I miss you too.”

 

**

 

It was one of those rare days when they could spend time together for a whole day. They decided to spend it outside at the town park, having a picnic with Seungcheol’s family. Jun and Wonwoo left their spot for a while to get the cooler box from the car. When they returned, Seungcheol and Joshua had this fond look in their eyes as they looked at Seungkwan and Chan who were standing nearby.

“No, Chan. I can’t give you that title.” Seungkwan said with a decisive tone.

Chan had his back on them so Jun couldn’t see his face, but the pride in Chan’s voice was unmistaken.

“But my parents are the best in the world.”

Jun chuckled and it made Chan notice their presence. Chan’s face turned red in an instant and he refused to look at Jun and Wonwoo, opting to tackle Seungkwan and have a battle of tickles on the grass.

Jun and Wonwoo went home without Chan that day. Their son was staying at Seungcheol’s because a whole day of playing wasn’t enough for the energetic boys. So Jun and Wonwoo spent a quiet night alone, looking through the pictures Jun took that day.

Jun had the camera in his hand and they sat shoulder to shoulder. At some point Jun turned his head away from the camera to ask Wonwoo if he found this particular picture as funny as he did, but Wonwoo turned his head at the same time and now their faces were so close, foreheads almost touching.

Entranced with the sight of Wonwoo’s eyes so close in front of him, Jun belatedly realized that Wonwoo was closing the gap. He felt Wonwoo’s lips pressed gently on his, lingering although not long enough for Jun to respond.

During their marriage, they had locked lips only once, at the altar. Exchanging a second kiss now after five years made Jun realized how much he had longed for it. The realization brought excitement and happiness in Jun, though it didn’t last long because Wonwoo said, “I’m sorry.”

Gulping down disappointment, Jun asked, “Is that sorry because you didn’t mean it?” He saw Wonwoo’s eyes colored in panic and he thought that he might had been reading this wrong.

“...Or it’s sorry because you didn’t ask for my permission?”

“The latter.” The sincerity in Wonwoo’s voice and gaze convinced Jun.

“Oh. It’s fine then.”

Jun wanted to speak again, but his heart began to beat faster and faster, it’s hard to do anything. It was silent until Wonwoo spoke first.

“Can I kiss you again?” His voice was slightly trembling and Jun found it amazing to witness such moment.

“Yes.”

Wonwoo leaned in again. This time Wonwoo didn’t pull away so quick and Jun could reciprocate. When they finally separated, they didn’t stay too much apart, their foreheads still touching.

“Again?” whispered Wonwoo.

“Yes.”

From then on, their kisses became too many to count.

 

**

 

It had been almost a year since Chan entered junior high school, yet sometimes Jun still felt in awe when seeing Chan in his uniform.

One day Chan came home after school, eyebrows furrowed as if deep in thoughts. Jun let him get changed and only addressed it after Chan came to the family room. The boy looked hesitant at first, eyes darting between Jun and Wonwoo who were sitting next to each other at the sofa. When he finally opened his mouth, his words were not that surprising for Jun, though they still succeeded in making Jun amazed.

“How did you know love each other? I mean, what do you like in each other?”

Jun knew that the question was not to confirm Jun and Wonwoo’s feelings. It was to make sure of Chan’s own. Jun hadn’t figured out who’s the target of Chan’s affection. It could be someone at school that he didn’t know yet.

“I like him because he can cook spicy foods and hm... let’s see...” said Wonwoo beside him. “I guess that’s it. There’s not much to like about him, you know.” His tone and grin were teasing and Jun responded with a playful hit to the shoulder.

After he finished laughing, Wonwoo smiled at Chan. “I love everything about him.”

If it were five years ago, Jun would have taken the words with a grain of salt. Those kind of words used to be empty, just a front to keep their families and friends satisfied. But Jun and Wonwoo had come a long way after that.

Squeezing Wonwoo’s hand, Jun’s said, “I love him except when he’s a sloth hogging the sofa, which is, I don’t know, most of the time?” Wonwoo nudged him without letting go of their hands. Jun gave him the tongue.

When Jun turned to face Chan, he added, “And I love him for loving you, Chan.”

Chan let out his adorable shy laugh and fidgeted before jumping to the sofa, arms circling Jun and Wonwoo’s neck to pull all of them into a hug. The warmth they shared was Jun’s treasure.