Kang Kyungwon knew five things for certain.

Number 1: She hated being alone.

It's times like these, when she's boxed into one room, no other signs of life present, that Kyungwon feels the worst. It's as though she's suffocating and no one is there to save her. Your senses heighten, and Kyungwon swears she can hear the sound of her own blood pumping through her body among the eerie quiet. She tries to focus on something in front of her (a book maybe, a notepad, or the dimly lit screen of her computer), but somehow one by one the cogs start turning in her brain and the pool of thoughts she wishes would disappear come flooding back. Kyungwon tries to ignore it. She always tries, but the inevitable cannot be prevented and Kyungwon finds herself in the same place again. Thinking about her.

Being left with your thoughts is scary, she concludes.

As if right on cue, before Kyungwon overloaded completely with the mess running through her mind, the door that had been left slightly ajar was opened wide and Siyeon (Kyungwon was constantly reminding herself that Park Siyeon was one of the cutest girls she'd ever had the privilege of meeting) stepped into her room, knowing she didn't need an invitation.

"Hey you."

"Hey."

"What are you doing?" the younger girl questioned, moving to take a seat at the end of Kyungwon's empty bed.

"Thinking."

This was met with a digusted expression from Siyeon. Kyungwon couldn't help but find it cute.

"Terrifying right?" she laughed, though it was forced.

"Completely. But why are you alone?"

Kyungwon takes a deep breath in before replying, "Nayoung and Jieqiong went out somewhere. Eunwoo is studying for a test she has next week. Sungyeon, Yewon and Kyla are all watching a movie together."

"And Minkyung?" Siyeon was reluctant to ask. And rightly so.

"Yebin." Kyungwon muttered, but the younger girl had heard her loud and clear, the name almost echoing.

"Ah."

Siyeon didn't know where to go next. Kyungwon didn't seem to be in the talkative mood: the absent tone of her voice, the way her head almost fell onto the desk in front of her as if she was tired of the new company already, all indicated to Siyeon that she should probably leave. Siyeon was one of only two people who knew how Kyungwon worked, knew her quirks when she was happy, knew her habits when she was stressed, knew how she unfailingly seemed to let her mind wander too far into thinking of a certain someone.

The other person who knew Kyungwon like the back of her hand was Minkyung, although she was oblivious to the last point and Kyungwon hoped it stayed that way.

And so instead of abandoning her friend (which many others would have done), Siyeon stayed. She always stayed, leaving had never even been an option for her. She knew Kyungwon didn't enjoy silence, and in fear of the other girl falling deeper and deeper away from her Siyeon stood up, walked over to the chair the other girl was seated in and sat comfortably in her lap.

"It's going to be okay." she tried to reassure her, latching both hands around Kyungwon's neck and resting her head on her shoulder.

"What are you talking about?"

Kyungwon tried her best to sound confused, act as though she was completely unaware of what the younger girl was hinting at but nothing would've worked. Not when she was here, vulnerable, defeated, Siyeon so close and looking up at her with those eyes. Kyungwon felt exposed in front of Siyeon like she'd never experienced before, somehow this girl was capable of breaking down her walls and reading her like a book she'd read a hundred times before. Kyungwon merely had to utter a few words before Siyeon knew how she was feeling, knew how to make her feel better if needed be.

Kyungwon knew she'd share her deepest, darkest secrets with the younger girl if she simply just asked.

Siyeon gave her a soft sympathetic smile, warmth radiating off her whole body. If platonic soulmates existed (and Kyungwon believed they do) then she would bet her whole life that Park Siyeon was hers. Minkyung would be a close second, but Kyungwon settles with the fact that the world isn't kind enough to bless her with two.

The older girl accepts the smile directed her way, does her best to return it before she nuzzles Siyeon's face into her own neck so she can rest her head upon Siyeon's own.

"I can't do it."

"Do what?"

"Live like this."

Siyeon doesn't question what 'this' means, doesn't need to. If Kyungwon wanted to share something, if Kyungwon was ready to open up then Siyeon knew she'd be the first person to hear what she had to say. And so she waited, observed how her and Kyungwon's chests seemed to rise and fall at the same time, until she heard the tell-tale sign of the older girl's mouth opening and inhaling a long breath.

"I can't see her everyday. Pretending as though I'm not crumbling inside, as if nothing's wrong." Siyeon felt something wet land on her cheek, and realised Kyungwon had let a tear fall from her glistening eyes. "I can't spend my days putting all my strength into not breaking down in front of her."

"It's exhausting, Siyeon."

Siyeon got up from her position in the older girl's lap, and gently guided her friend to the free bed across the room.

"I know, I know." she repeated, placing Kyungwon against the headrest and lying down next to her.

"You think about it too much Kyungwon. You let it eat away at you, you let yourself be consumed by it and it scares me. You scare me."

Siyeon wrapped her arms around Kyungwon's waist and felt the older girl lean into her.

"I don't know how to help you, I see you like this and I realise I'm useless. I can try, but how much do the things I say actually get through to you? They're just feelings Kyungwon, give yourself a break."

"Just feelings." the older girl scoffs, "They don't feel like 'just feelings' to me."

Siyeon shakes her head at her own words. She should be more sympathetic, but seeing her friend like this makes her irrational and things simply spurt out of without a second thought.

"What I'm trying to say is you can get through this. We can get through this. No matter how alone you feel Kyungwon, I'm here. And you couldn't get rid of me if you tried."

Kyungwon may have hated being alone, hated how she seemed helpless even in a room full of people. But with Siyeon at least, she felt just that little less lonely and for that she was eternally grateful.

******

Number 2: Timing was never on her side.

Kyungwon isn't sure how it happened, or why for that matter. It was a series of ill-advised choices and before she could even consider turning back Kyungwon found herself neck deep in bad decisions.

It was Wednesday. Kyungwon had begun hating Wednesdays ever since Minkyung started to spend her mid-week day indoors, relaxing. She lost count of the times she'd hoped Minkyung would break habit, just once, let Kyungwon breathe for God's sake. And so Wednesday had officially become the worst day of the week, because Minkyung was home. For all 24 painstaking hours.

Kyungwon was alone again, though this time she felt confident that she wouldn't let her thoughts get the better of her, wouldn't let herself think about where her best friend was right now, what Minkyung was doing or rather who she was doing. To distract herself, Kyungwon found herself in the practice room rehearsing an old choreography her and Nayoung had come up with a few months back. Anything to prevent her mind from wandering.

She began to grow restless, wasn't sure how long she'd be able to keep it up before needing to take a break. But a break meant relaxing, and Kyungwon knows all too well what that means.

Before she could swipe up her water bottle and down it's contents however, a loud vibration and ring came from her cell phone she had left resting on a table in the corner of the room.

"Help me." It was Eunwoo.

"With what?"

"It's agonising."

"What is?"

"I don't know how people do it!"

"Do what Eunwoo?!"

"Studying!"

The younger girl had almost screamed the word through the phone, and Kyungwon had to stop herself from breaking into a fit of laughter at her friend's motivation and attention span (or lack thereof).

"Didn't you only start studying at 12?" the taller girl mused.

"Yeah?"

"It's 12:30."

"And your point is?"

This time Kyungwon did laugh. Eunwoo was quite the character, and Kyungwon couldn't remember a day where the shorter girl hadn't put a smile on her face, stupidity and all.

"Any particular reason you called?"

"My brain's about to explode. I need a break."

"You mean you need a distraction."

"Is that not the same thing?" Eunwoo teased before she continued, "Are you free?"

"Mhmm."

"Okay good because I'm outside."

"You're wh-" Kyungwon was interrupted mid-sentence however as Eunwoo swung the door open, causing it to slam against the wall behind. That girl was always making an enterance.

Eunwoo walked in with her signature smirk, Kyungwon never being able to decide whether she hated or loved that look, and threw herself on the sofa pushed back against the far wall.

"How did you know where to find me?" the older girl questioned.

"You're always here on Wednesdays."

And just like that, as if the simple mention of the day (let alone the connotations and meanings behind it) was enough to break her, Kyungwon found the thoughts swarming into her head yet again. She placed her phone back in it's previous place and seated herself on the table next to it. She wasn't one to distance herself from people like Eunwoo, when the other girl was around she appreciated her company (much like Siyeon's) but right now, when everything seemed to be getting too much for her, Kyungwon didn't think she'd be able to live with herself if she let Eunwoo see the broken look on her face.

She couldn't afford to bring another one of friends down with her, especially Eunwoo.

Like the all-knowing angel she was (or devil, Kyungwon wasn't sure) the younger girl had sensed Kyungwon's distress and sat up sharply from her position on the sofa.

She observed the older girl for a few seconds, Kyungwon wasn't looking at her but she could feel Eunwoo's eyes baring deep into her skin. Why did she always feel so exposed when people looked at her like that? Particularly pretty girls like Eunwoo.

It was as though Eunwoo was taking a moment or two to weigh up her options, deciding which topics where fragile and what things she could talk about with her friend without causing her any harm.

"Can I try something?"

Kyungwon looked up and met the other girl's waiting gaze, a sad smile still on her lips.

"Does it really matter what my answer is? You're going to do it anyway aren't you?"

"Probably." Eunwoo chuckled, the older girl knew her all too well.

Eunwoo got up then and slowly made her way over to the table where Kyungwon was and seated herself next to her. Their hands rested on the desk, almost touching.

"I spoke to Siyeon."

"Of course you did." Kyungwon shook her head.

"It's okay Kyungwon."

"I wish people would stop telling me that."

The bluntness in her's voice told Eunwoo how serious this was, and she almost felt guilty for what she was about to do next. Almost. It was worth a shot, and if it had even the smallest chance of getting Kyungwon out of this Minkyung-induced slump then Eunwoo was willing to try anything.

"I have an idea." the younger girl put forward.

"Oh God no."

"Shut up." Eunwoo nudged the girl beside her playfully in the shoulder.

She removed herself from next to Kyungwon, their hands brushing slightly as she did so and stood in front of her.

"Hear me out okay?"

Kyungwon's expression was puzzled, "I'm listening."

Eunwoo took a breath in, looked at Kyungwon intently.

"Kiss me."

Kyungwon didn't think it was possible for her eyes to be any wider than they were now, looking at her friend in complete disbelief. She laughed at the girl in front of her before, much to her horror, realised Eunwoo was being serious (as serious as Eunwoo could be that is.)

"What?" she managed to choke out.

"Kiss me, even if it's just once."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Listen Kyungwon, you're in love with Minkyung. We all know that." Panic alarms went off in Kyungwon's head at the use of the word 'all'.

"But you need help, you need to take your mind off her. We've got to find out just how emotionally and physically unavailable you are." Eunwoo moved closer then, opening Kyungwon's legs a little and positioning herself in between them.

"You need a distraction." she added, jutting out her tongue at the older girl.

"You've officially gone mad." Kyungwon spoke, though her voice faltered a little.

She tried to resist, truly she did. But Jung Eunwoo was persuasive, and cute. And Kyungwon could never turn down a cute girl, especially when they were pushed up against her, soft hands placed on her neck, lips only centimetres away.

Images of one particular adorable girl tried to push themselves into Kyungwon's head, but she used all of the resistance within her to barricade them out. If Kyungwon was to admit one thing, it would be that Eunwoo had a point. If things were to change for her, then she needed to listen to what the younger girl had said.

"Let go, just for a minute." Eunwoo practically whispered, hot breath tickling Kyungwon's cheek.

And so Kyungwon did let go, as best as she possibly could given the circumstances and allowed herself to be overwhelmed by Eunwoo's warm body pressed against hers.

She was not Minkyung, but for now that's exactly what Kyungwon needed.

Kyungwon was close to letting go completely, it was strange how Eunwoo's lips seemed to fit almost perfectly against her own, how it seemed as though her hands were made to trace across her body, lift her shirt up and rest her fingers on her bare skin. Eunwoo was a masterpiece, and Kyungwon internally cursed herself for wishing that Eunwoo was the one she'd fallen for.

It was somewhat intoxicating, kissing Eunwoo this way, and Kyungwon almost forgot about the aching pain in her chest. She didn't though, not by a long shot.

By now Eunwoo's lips had begun trailing down Kyungwon's jaw, tugging on the exposed skin of her neck as the older girl leaned her head further away to give Eunwoo more access.

Kyungwon could feel a fire start to ignite inside of her, nothing compared to the inferno she felt when simply looking at Minkyung, but it was something nonetheless. She ran her hands through Eunwoo's light hair and lightly wrapped her legs around the other girl's waist.

Kyungwon briefly noted that she hadn't thought about Minkyung for a good few minutes now, maybe she was making progress after all.

But just like everything with potential in Kyungwon's life, things were over before they'd barely begun.

For at that moment, as though the whole world stopped and focused on that one door opening slowly, Kyungwon tore her lips away from Eunwoo's own and opened her eyes (she regretted ever doing so).

And there Minkyung was, standing in the doorway of the practice room. Kyungwon could've swore the universe hated her, it was as though the Gods themselves couldn't let Kyungwon's mind swerve away from Minkyung even for a second. If torture was their hobby then Kyungwon was their favourite pet.

"What's going on here?" the oldest girl questioned, almost like a demand.

Eunwoo pulled herself away from Kyungwon, untangling their limbs. This wasn't exactly where she wanted things to go.

"I'll go." she spoke quietly, gathering her jacket that had been discarded on the floor and turned to Kyungwon one last time, "I'll speak to you later okay?"

Kyungwon tried to plead Eunwoo with her eyes, she would've given anything for the younger girl to stay, anything to be not left in a room alone with her thoughts and Minkyung.

But Eunwoo walked out of that room all too quickly, and Kyungwon felt her stomach do flips inside her as Minkyung waited for the other girl to leave, not looking her in the eye before she turned and shut the door firmly.

Kyungwon felt uncomfortable and fidgeted around on the table she was perched on, the gentle touch of Eunwoo still lingering on her body.

This wasn't good. At all.

Minkyung paced across the room and sat on the sofa Eunwoo had been on only half an hour before.

"I thought you two were friends?" Minkyung's voice cut through the air like a knife.

"We are."

"That didn't look like something you do with your friend, Kyungwon."

Kyungwon could feel the slightest amount of irritation rising within her. She didn't have to explain herself to Minkyung, it was none of her business.

"She was helping me."

Minkyung scoffed disapprovingly, a sound Kyungwon immediately decided she despised. "Helping you, my ."

"Shut up Minkyung. It's not what you think it is."

"Then tell me what it is."

Frankly, Kyungwon didn't know what it was. Eunwoo had sprung the idea onto her so unexpectedly she'd barely had time to accept or refuse, Eunwoo's lips were on hers and Kyungwon didn't entirely hate it. If the lips weren't Minkyung's, and she wasn't thinking about Minkyung's, Kyungwon considered that a step in the right direction.

"She was doing me a favour."

Minkyung practically laughed, "I'll bet she was."

"Stop it!"

The older girl had got up from her seat and started walking the length of the room they were in. Kyungwon thought maybe she was considering leaving, already done with Kyungwon and her ways, but then Minkyung stopped not too far away from the other girl and looked directly at her.

"She isn't right for you." The words echoed through Kyungwon's ears.

She didn't have the right to be getting angry, her feelings were getting the better of her and Kyungwon couldn't allow it. Minkyung hadn't done anything wrong, except walk into her life maybe, but Kyungwon knew even now she wouldn't have wished for anything else.

"She's a good person Minky. She's kind and she's sweet. She's funny, hilarious on some days if you get past how annoying she can be, and she's pretty too. She cares about me, and there are few people who do."

"I care about you."

Kyungwon doesn't know why her heart missed a beat at that, Minkyung had always been the type of person to tell her everyday how much she meant to her, but her breath hitched in nonetheless.

"That's besides the point."

"She isn't right for you." Minkyung repeated.

"What?" Kyungwon laughed, "And you are?"

"That's not what I-"

"Forget it." the younger girl shook her head, "It was nothing. It doesn't matter anyway."

Kyungwon pulled herself up, grabbed her bag and phone and moved to walk past Minkyung. The older girl's slender hand came out and reached for Kyungwon, affirming a tight grip on her friend's arm.

"Kyung-"

"Let go." she warned, not being able to help the echo of the words that came back to her from not too long ago. Let go, just for a minute.

"Why doesn't it matter?"

Kyungwon turned to look at her friend then, turned to look at the girl who held her entire world in her hands and didn't even know it. She was so oblivious Kyungwon almost found it funny. She took in Minkyung's figure, her shape, the length and colour of her hair, her beautiful eyes, her lips, God her lips.

Eunwoo had tried her best, Kyungwon was grateful, but old habits die hard and Kyungwon loved to indulge.

"That thing she was helping me with. It didn't work."

Walking away from Minkyung right then may have been the hardest thing Kyungwon had ever done, but she feared if she didn't, her whole universe would have come crumbling down and she would have let it.

******

Number 3: Kyungwon was hopelessly, undeniably in love with her best friend.

She's not sure why it took so long to admit it, even Siyeon and Eunwoo could say it aloud before Kyungwon. There was meaning to those words, and Kyungwon felt the weight of what they meant weighing down on her day to day. It was inevitable though, her coming to terms with how she felt towards Minkyung because to get over someone, the first step is always acceptance.

It was when Minkyung came knocking on her door that night, dressed only in a pair of shorts and an oversized tshirt, begging Kyungwon to accept her apology when she finally admitted it to herself. That she was in love with Minkyung, and she had been for 4 years.

It always went the same: Minkyung climbing into Kyungwon's bed, snuggled up to the younger girl, asking for her forgiveness (Minkyung never had anything to apologise for, but she did it anyway) and Kyungwon couldn't turn her down. There really was no reason to.

"I'm in love with Kim Minkyung."

The words felt foreign on her lips, though the slightest sense of familiarity was there.

She was in the study room the next day with Siyeon and Eunwoo (apparently the latter needed two people to distract her this time), Kyungwon situated on a swivel chair on one side of the room while the youngest perched herself on Eunwoo's lap, ever the needy child, on the other.

"Of course you are."

Siyeon hit the older girl roughly in the arm, giving her a warning look while Eunwoo feigned injury.

"How does it feel?" Siyeon spoke up.

"The same as it always does."

"Don't you feel different? Now that you've said it out loud? That's got to mean something, right?"

"I don't know Siyeon. Nothing has changed, the weight is still there. It's so stupid. I shouldn't let it get to me like this, she's my best friend and I'm pushing her away. I have to deal with the fact that I'm completely in love with Minkyung and there's a high possibility she doesn't feel the same."

Siyeon and Eunwoo merely looked at each other, their actions speaking louder than words. Kyungwon was in deep, and they knew it.

"Maybe if you keep saying it, it'll lessen it's meaning?" Eunwoo suggested, receiving weird looks from the other two.

Despite the skepticism though, Kyungwon thought about her options and realised she had nothing to lose.

"I'm in love with Kim Minkyung."

The two girls across the room gave her encouraging looks (anything was better than nothing right?) and so urged the older girl to continue.

"I'm in love with Kim Minkyung."

It was getting easier.

"I'm in love with Kim Minkyung."

"You're what?"

Oh god.

Kyungwon felt the floor drop from underneath her. She tears her gaze away from Siyeon and Eunwoo so fast it gives her whiplash. It takes a few seconds (arguably the longest in her life) for her eyes to adjust to the figure in the doorway, her head spinning.

It's not Minkyung.

But Kyungwon realises all too quickly that the person standing in front of her may very well be the last person on this earth she wanted to reveal her true feelings to. Kyungwon didn't like being exposed, and this person was no exception.

Yebin.

"You're what, Kyungwon?"

"Huh? Nothing."

This was bad, Siyeon thought and tried her best to divert the topic of conversation as far away from Minkyung as possible.

"What are you doing here Yebin?"

"I came to see if you guys wanted to go out. I was going to catch a movie, with Minkyung."

No such luck then.

Kyungwon tried to rid her face of any emotion when she heard Yebin speak Minkyung's name so confidently, Eunwoo could physically see the restraint she put into not letting her feelings get the better of her.

Yebin was staring at Kyungwon, neither friendly nor unfriendly. A look of curiosity, suspicious and maybe a hint of pity all thrown into one glance. Kyungwon had never been particularly close to the other Kang but right now it felt as though she knew everything about her, one look and Kyungwon felt as vulnerable as ever.

"I'll come." Siyeon spoke up again, always the knight in shining armour, "But Kyungwon was helping Eunwoo study for that test before I came in so I think they'll probably just stay here."

The two girls in question only nodded to Siyeon and Yebin, both silently thanking Siyeon for getting all three of them out of this mess, more importantly Kyungwon.

"Cool okay." Yebin replied, ushering Siyeon out of the room with her. 

It may have been because she was paranoid (and rightly so) but Kyungwon swore she saw Yebin give her one final look before she exited the room, this one with more hostility she'd ever thought the small girl was capable of.  

The 6 girls (Yewon, Sungyeon and Kyla included) had returned from the cinema around 4pm, earlier than Kyungwon had expected. That only meant one thing, having to endure Minkyung for longer. Kyungwon knew Minkyung didn't think anything was wrong, in her eyes there was no reason for there to be and so Minkyung probably didn't think anything of it when she s her arms around Kyungwon's waist and lay next to her on the sofa in their shared living room.

Kyungwon however, knew that something was wrong. Everything was wrong. When were things ever right? A day without the other for Minkyung was a day of torture, a day without the other for Kyungwon was torture too, but for completely different reasons. Kyungwon was in love with Minkyung (she felt more confident in saying it now, in her head that is) and Minkyung thought of Kyungwon as her best friend.

"I missed you."

Kyungwon tried not to focus on how close Minkyung's face was to her neck, breath brushing against her skin.

"Why didn't you come today?"

"I was busy."

"Helping Eunwoo study. I know."

Kyungwon tried to sit up slightly, look at Minkyung's face, get any indication on what emotion the other girl was portraying (or trying not to).

"Is there a problem?"

"Of course not. You two just help each other out a lot it seems."

Minkyung didn't understand. Kyungwon knew it was her own fault, knew she was the one to blame and let out a heavy exhale of breath.

The younger girl let the other grab hold her hand, tried not to protest despite how much she was screaming inside as she laced their fingers together. Minkyung's hand fit hers perfectly, but Kyungwon tried to ignore that.

"I miss my best friend Kyungwon."

"I miss you too."

Because Kyungwon did, every second of every day, now she'd just become numb to the emotion. Missing Minkyung wasn't the most over-powering feeling Kyungwon felt towards the older girl, being in love was.

"Why didn't you come to me?" Minkyung questioned.

"Huh?"

"For help, the other day. You asked Eunwoo and I'm assuming you asked Siyeon too, you're practically glued to that girl nowadays. Why not me?"

Minkyung was looking up at her with an expression that made Kyungwon want to give the entire world to her, and she believes if it were possible, Kyungwon would do it in a heartbeat.

She pulls herself into an upright position, Minkyung was too close for her own good and she needed to breath.

"Minky," she began, "It's not that simple."

The other girl too pulled herself up from lying down, breaking any physical contact between the two and sitting herself next to Kyungwon.

"But why? When did it get so complicated?"

"It didn't."

"You're lying. You can't even look at me."

Kyungwon cursed herself for not being able to look at her friend when she was talking to her, she'd hoped the other girl wouldn't notice.

"It's nothing, Minkyung. I promise."

She looked at her then, and oh God how she wished she didn't.

"Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong?"

Her heart broke looking at Minkyung like that, so much Kyungwon wondered just how many pieces her heart was in now. Minkyung was innocent, Kyungwon knew this and the look she gave her friend told her everything she needed to know.

Minkyung would do anything for Kyungwon, would make any sacrifice for her. Kyungwon was her best friend, and that meant more to Minkyung than Kyungwon would ever know.

"Don't be stupid."

Kyungwon could think of nothing else but to pull her best friend closer, let her bury her face in the crease of her neck and wrap her arms around her like clockwork. Kyungwon was hurting, but that didn't mean Minkyung had to too.

******

Number 4: All secrets come out eventually.

Kyungwon couldn't help but carry around the lingering feeling of worry. Time and time again she reminded herself she wasn't safe, and she could barely focus on her day.

Yebin knew. Yebin knew and Kyungwon wasn't sure how long it would be until Minkyung found out.

She was in the kitchen now, trying to distract herself with food (food always worked) and got started on making herself a sandwich. She hadn't even realised the presence of another person in the room with her, let alone realised they were standing directly behind her, chest pressed against her back.

Minkyung rested her chin on Kyungwon's right shoulder and looked down at the counter in front of them. Kyungwon prayed Minkyung doesn't notice the way her whole body went tense, rigid under Minkyung's touch.

"Need any help?"

The other girl managed to choke out, "I'm good. Want one?"

Kyungwon doesn't know what possesses her, but she finds herself bringing a piece of meat up and placing it in Minkyung's mouth, unaware that she let her gaze linger on her lips for a little longer than necessary.

"Tastes yummy," the older girl says, "No thanks, me and Yebin have just eaten."

Reality hit her like a train. Of course. She eats with Yebin. How stupid of me.

"Although I wouldn't turn down a bite of your sandwich if you offered."

Minkyung was teasing her, and Kyungwon wished she was lighthearted enough to return the playfulness.

The taller girl moved away from Kyungwon, giving her space to finish preparing her snack and waited patiently leaning against the counter.

Kyungwon devoured her sandwich in no time at all, saving the last few bites for Minkyung who looked at her like a needy puppy. In retrospect, Kyungwon wished she'd taken longer, anything to prevent the time it took for Minkyung to do what she did next.

It happened all too quick for Kyungwon to fully digest it, though if she had, she was certain she'd have throw up.

Minkyung moved confidently, latched her arms under both of Kyungwon's thighs and lifted the other girl so she was seated on the counter top.

"Minkyung." Kyungwon laughed nervously.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I thought maybe I could help you too."

The pure whole-heartedness on Minkyung's face made Kyungwon think it wasn't such a bad idea to let herself be fully consumed by the other girl and the things she made her feel.

She brushed the hair out of Kyungwon's eyes and let her thumb run over her cheek.

"Maybe this time it'll work."

And that was it. That was the last thing Kyungwon remembered before it felt as though her entire surroundings disappeared and her focus zoned in on Minkyung's red lips gently pressing against hers.

She had imagined this moment so many times over the years she'd lost count a few months back. She'd played this scenario out in her head countless times she thought she would've been okay, would've been able to handle the influx of feelingshe was about to receive. She could push them aside and wait for it to end, it always ended.

But nothing could have prepared her for this. Nothing could've told Kyungwon how intoxicating it felt to have Minkyung pressed up against her, feeling the heat radiate off her body. Nobody could've told her how satisfying it felt to have Minkyung's hands running through her hair, over her stomach. And nothing could've told Kyungwon how addicting it was to have Minkyung's lips, the ones she'd be craving for the last 4 years, on her skin: connected with her own, soft against her cheek, roaming the skin on her neck.

Kyungwon wasn't even sure what was real anymore.

She was losing herself again, and after her kiss with Eunwoo, Kyungwon wasn't so reluctant to the idea anymore. She found herself falling deeper and deeper, she didn't think it was possible to fall any more than she already had. Yet here she was, Minkyung's lips still giving her soft kisses and Kyungwon realised she could (and would) fall for an eternity.

"You're going to break her heart you know."

It was as though the voice came out of nowhere. One minute all Kyungwon could think about was the girl in front of her, the next two sets of lips had been torn apart and 4 eyes landed on the small girl waiting at the edge of the kitchen.

"Yebin?" Minkyung questioned. "What are you talking about?"

Kyungwon could feel her heart beating harder, faster, pounding against her chest as if it wanted to escape. Like Kyungwon wanted to escape.

Yebin looked between the two (Minkyung was still positioned between Kyungwon's legs), eyes lingering on Kyungwon for a second longer before she turned her gaze back to the oldest girl and spoke again.

"She's in love with you."

And just like that Kyungwon's fantasy came crashing down.

Everything went cold.

She risked another glance at Minkyung who had dropped her hands from around Kyungwon's waist. That look almost paralyzed her.

She didn't think her legs were capable of moving, thought she'd be glued to that spot forever but Kyungwon found herself running up the stairs two at a time quicker than she'd ever moved before.

She was aware of Minkyung behind her, following in her footsteps.

"Kyungwon wait." she called up, grabbing the hand rail and pulling herself up there as fast as she could.

She heard Kyungwon's door slam shut behind her, but she didn't care, nothing was going to stop her from entering that room.

"I'm coming in."

The first thing Minkyung saw was Kyungwon slumped on the edge of her bed, holding her head in her hands as if it weighted a tonne. She cautiously made her way towards her best friend and sat next to her.

"Is it true?" The question terrified her, but the possible responses terrified her more.

Kyungwon didn't see the point in lying, didn't see the point in anything anymore and so she sat there, hoping her lack of an answer would speak a thousand words to Minkyung. Her chest had tightened around her heart, her lungs almost suffocating and Kyungwon wasn't entirely sure she was still breathing. No words would come out of even if she tried.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't." she choked out.

"Of course you could. You're my best friend."

Kyungwon let out a sad laugh, "And I'm in love with mine."

Minkyung's own lungs played tricks with her then and her breath caught in . Yebin saying it aloud was one thing, but those words coming from Kyungwon herself was another thing entirely.

"I wish you would've told me."

"Say I had told you sooner, would that have changed anything?"

Silence. Kyungwon knew from personal experience that silence was never a good thing. And things weren't about to change now.

"Kyungwon I-"

"I know."

Minkyung wasn't sure it was appropriate, but this was her best friend for God's sake, and so she didn't think twice about pulling Kyungwon closer to her and gently placing her head against Minkyung's chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Kyungwon."

Minkyung apologised, she always did. Kyungwon wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault, it's never been her fault.

"I love you."

"But not enough."

"I love you so much Kyungwon it scares me sometimes."

"But not like that."

Those four words silenced Minkyung, because what could she possibly say? They were true. She couldn't make herself feel things she didn't already, no matter how much easier it would have been for the two of them.

She felt Kyungwon begin to cry on top of her, felt her fragile body begin to shake as the tears slowly fell. If Minkyung could, and heaven knows she'd try, she'd hold Kyungwon in her arms forever.

"I'm sorry."

Kyungwon felt a stab to her heart, so overpowering she thought she might die. It was as though her whole world had ended, but Kyungwon realised that couldn't have been the case, because her whole world was sat right next to her.

She had feared rejection from the moment she was capable of developing feelings for someone, but she'd never pictured it would feel like this, so soul-destroying.

Kyungwon felt her heart break, but she should be used to that feeling by now.

Number 5: Things don't always work out the way you'd hoped.

A/N:...........................................................Honestly I don't know what this is. I just got the idea and went with it.

A late birthday present in honour of Minky's birthday I guess.

(some lowkey yuwoo because I highkey ship it)

Hope you enjoy!