“Jihyo, are you okay?”

 

Jihyo turned towards her fellow members, twisting around in her seat to look at them. The group had just come back from vocal practice – the only people who really practiced were the maknaes and Jihyo herself, the others held a V LIVE – and were being driven by Jeongyeon back to the dorm. Jeongyeon, who had already gotten her driver’s license a year ago, had finally been allowed to drive, and as a result refused to talk to anyone when she was driving. Thus, she was not included in this conversation. (Jihyo, honestly, was glad; she was sitting up front next to Jeongyeon and didn’t want the older girl to be distracted. Any distractions would probably end up in the car crashing.)

 

Nayeon looked out at Jihyo, her eyes challenging and worried at the same time. Jihyo was bewildered. “Y-yes? Why? What’s wrong?”

 

“Nayeon is just worried,” Mina butted in. Jihyo didn’t miss the glare Mina shot at Nayeon, nor did she miss the way Mina dropped the honorific and addressed Nayeon like they were the same age. Yes, the girls did drop honorifics from time to time, but the foreign line tended not to. “And incredibly paranoid.”

 

“Excuse you,” Nayeon spit, causing the members around her – Chaeyoung, Sana, and Dahyun – to flinch. “I’m not paranoid. I’m just worried.”

 

“And for a good reason,” Momo chimed in, grinning at Nayeon when she received the look of appreciation the older gave her. That grin melted once Mina’s ice cold glare landed on her, though.

 

“Don’t pay attention to them, Jihyo unnie,” Mina huffed, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms. “They’re just going on and on about nonsense. They’re worried about nothing.”

 

“...Actually, what they’re worried about is something we all should be worried about,” Dahyun said hesitantly. “Seriously, Jihyo...something’s...”

 

Seconds passed. Dahyun’s mouth moved but nothing came out.

 

Jihyo tipped her head to the side, confused. “Something? What something?”

 

Dahyun narrowed her eyes. “Something’s going on with you. You didn’t hear me?”

 

“You never said anything!” Jihyo retorted. “You just trailed off!”

 

Dahyun exchanged a glance with Nayeon. Sana elbowed Momo’s arm and whispered something into her ear. Tzuyu rested her head on Chaeyoung’s shoulder, both of them wearing miserable expressions. Chaeyoung turned to Mina and gently shook her shoulder, but Mina didn’t turn around. Stubbornly, she stared at the window. When Chaeyoung sighed and rubbed Mina’s arm before pulling away, though, Jihyo saw Mina’s expression soften. Her eyes filled up with tears.

 

This was indeed serious.

 

Even when Jihyo turned to Jeongyeon, the young woman had a look of defeat on her face. She sighed and managed to spare a glance towards Jihyo, immediately bringing her gaze back to the road. “Who’s gonna explain at the dorm?”

 

Suddenly, rage coursed through Jihyo. “No, that’s not how it works,” she said, her voice dangerously quiet and deep. She twisted around again to look her members in their eyes. “I’m the leader of this group. I. Am. The. Leader. I’m in charge of you, and I want an explanation now.”

 

Silence.

 

After uncomfortable coughing and shifting around, Momo slowly rose her hand. “I’ll talk to her at the dorm.” Her offer was met by several grateful looks and murmurs of agreement. Jihyo, however, was only further angered. If the matter was this serious, why weren’t any of the members telling her what was going on now? Was it really that serious, or was Jihyo being pranked? The chances of the members grinning at her and screaming “you’ve been PRANKED” once they arrived at the dorm had become quite high all of a sudden.

 

The rest of the drive was in complete silence. At least, it seemed that way to Jihyo. And thus, she was extremely baffled when Jeongyeon kept replying to “questions,” none of which were asked in the first place.

 

(They were.)

 

The tension between all the members, particularly Mina, Nayeon, Momo, and Jihyo, was so heavy Jihyo swore she could’ve reached out and touched it. She almost did so when they reached the dorm, all of them climbing out of the van and speed walking to the entrance of the dorm. Jeongyeon unlocked the door and like magic, each member disappeared into their respective room. The only members that stayed in the living room were Jihyo, Momo, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun. None of them talked to Jihyo, though.

 

None of them.

 

It was like the group was disbanding. Okay, so it was too early for that, but to Jihyo it certainly felt like the group was disbanding. Her heart shattered as she watched Chaeyoung and Dahyun sit together on the couch without looking at Jihyo, like she was invisible. And even they were awkward; there was quite a bit of space between them and they flinched whenever their hands would brush together.

 

Funny, how one small thing could cause all this within the members.

 

How one small, “serious” thing could do this.

 

(Jihyo didn’t know that all of them were just worried.)

 

Momo finally approached Jihyo, resting a hand on her shoulder. “I...we should go to my room. I’ll ask Jeongyeon to go to Tzuyu’s room because she’s alone in there and...” This time, Momo’s mouth stopped moving; she really had trailed off. Momo’s face was reflecting what Jihyo felt on the inside – concern for Tzuyu. The young girl, as tough as she may seem, was actually fragile and vulnerable, and broke down in moments like these. It wasn’t a good idea to leave her alone. Jeongyeon, a caring, understanding person, would be the most able to calm Tzuyu down.

 

So Jihyo nodded, her mind on Tzuyu, and let herself be guided by Momo to the latter’s room.

 

Upon reaching, Momo popped her head in and said something Jihyo didn’t hear. Jihyo blamed it on Momo’s quiet voice, why would she scream under these circumstances? But based on how Jeongyeon immediately left the room and hurried over to Tzuyu’s, Jihyo knew Momo had been speaking normally.

 

Oh well. Jihyo was distracted, after all. She wasn’t paying attention.

 

As they entered Momo and Jeongyeon’s room and sat on the bed, Jihyo could only think about Tzuyu. She didn’t want the maknae to be crying because of all of this, even though that was probably what she was doing. She wished she was there to comfort Tzuyu herself. She hoped Jeongyeon would be able to soothe the youngest member. She thought...

 

...thought of...

 

...of Momo, calling her name, her voice getting louder and louder each time she said Jihyo’s name...

 

Wait.

 

Jihyo turned to Momo, staring. “What?”

 

“I’ve been calling your name this whole time, Jihyo,” Momo said desperately. Desperately? Jihyo didn’t get why Momo sounded desperate. Was it because of the situation at hand? The tension? Was it really that serious, what all the members had been talking about earlier?

 

Just how much did Momo know?

 

“Look, Momo,” Jihyo began, entwining her hand in Momo’s. For some reason, she felt more comfortable initiating skinship with Momo. It was like...the older girl was more inviting, really. More gentle and warm. As compared to Tzuyu or Chaeyoung. “I’m guessing you know the most about this problem?”

 

Momo gave a nod, averting her eyes. Jihyo sighed, and tipped Momo’s chin up so she’d have to look into Jihyo’s eyes. “How do you know? Why not Nayeon? Why doesn’t Mina know the most either?”

 

Momo mumbled something.

 

“Speak up,” Jihyo ordered. There was this irritating ringing in her ears that was blocking everything out, and it had been going on for quite a while. She had heard of idols getting it from time to time, so she wasn’t too concerned.

 

“That’s the problem!” Momo yelled, getting to her feet and looking down at Jihyo. Anger and some of the desperation from before was painted all over her face. She swallowed visibly, then sat back down, trembling. “That’s the problem, Jihyo,” she said, her voice relatively quiet. (It was all Jihyo could do to hear at least every other word Momo said.)

 

“What’s the problem?” Jihyo repeated irritably. She was getting sick of this beating-around-the-bush business. “Just give it to me straight!”

 

“You’re going...”

 

God. When would they learn to raise their voices like Jihyo did? “Going what? Speak UP, Momo!”

 

“YOU’RE GOING DEAF, JIHYO!”

 

...

 

It was like a spear had been thrown through Jihyo’s body, impaling her and fixing her to the ground. She couldn’t move, and had gotten this terrible ache in her chest, the one she always got whenever she had received bad news.

 

Bad news, indeed.

 

She was going deaf? So that was the reason she couldn’t hear certain words the others were saying.

 

It wasn’t like they weren’t speaking up. They had reasonably loud voices, apart from Mina. It was just that Jihyo herself couldn’t hear them.

 

Because she was losing her ability to hear.

 

In an instant, Jihyo’s mind explored all the various possibilities that this new obstacle presented. Her manager would find out about it soon enough. He’d report this to JYP. Fortunately, Jihyo had been in the agency for about twelve years, so JYP probably would take pity on her. At most, she’d get kicked out of TWICE. Nayeon would most likely take over leader role. Jihyo would be stationed at the main quarters. Either that, or she’d stay with TWICE but not perform with them.

 

She wouldn’t be able to sing.

 

She wouldn’t be able to dance.

 

She wouldn’t be able to hear any music, much less the hits her group would be churning out.

 

She’d be useless.

 

Jihyo felt herself breaking down.

 

She didn’t want to leave her fellow members. Her family. The girls she had spent two years with. Through laughter and sadness.

 

Her heart shattered.

 

Why her?

 

Her, of all people?

 

As much as she wanted to...

 

..Jihyo couldn’t cry.

 

Not in front of Momo, who was already sobbing into Jihyo’s shoulders.

 

For now, Jihyo was in TWICE. She was the leader of TWICE, and she was responsible for comforting all her members.

 

Members first, herself last.

 

So of course, Jihyo put her arms around Momo and patted her back, only causing the older girl to sob even louder. “There, there,” Jihyo whispered – at least, she thought so.

 

She couldn’t even hear herself.

 

“It’ll be fine,” Jihyo assured Momo, pulling away from her and smiling. “I won’t let it take over me. I’ll always hear your voices. Our songs. Everything.”

 

But there was just something about Momo.

 

Something that let Jihyo let down her guard.

 

And as she assured Momo, staring into the other girl’s watery eyes, Jihyo felt herself crumbling.

 

Her eyes welled up with tears.

 

And before she knew it, she was sobbing into Momo’s shoulder.

 

(Funny, how just before, their positions were switched!)

 

This time, Momo was the one comforting her – albeit a sob-choked comfort.

 

“We won’t let you leave us,” she said. Jihyo felt Momo’s hand on her back, moving in slow circles.

 

And she let herself release the flood of tears she had been holding back.

 

“I don’t want to,

 

“But if I can’t hear you all...then what’s the point?”

 

...

 

Twenty minutes later, Jihyo stepped out of the room, followed by a solemn Momo.

 

She made her way to the living room, where all the members had gathered, and stayed behind the couch, leaning against the wall.

 

A hand was set on her shoulder. Jihyo turned to meet Momo’s eyes, which were full of sympathy and warmth.

 

Really, Momo could be such a dork but when it came to it, she was incredibly serious and incredibly caring.

 

Jihyo turned back to all the members, who hadn’t yet seen her. The tension had melted, it seemed. All the members were sitting in a cluster, leaning against each other and talking softly. Jihyo couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she could hear the warmth and kindness in their voices.

 

She smiled sadly.

 

Soon, Jihyo wouldn’t be able to hear this. She wouldn’t be able to hear the screams, the laughs, the sobs. The mutters, the whispers, the groans and moans and whines. None of it.

 

God, she’d miss it.

 

So for now...

 

...she would enjoy it to the fullest.

 

And keep them stored in her memories, and replay them.

 

Because though she wouldn’t be able to hear them, she’d be able to remember them.

 

Right?

 

halfway through the story, i was going to change the pairing from jimo to jeonghyo because i felt that it would fit the story better, but that would throw off everything lmao. plus this was a prompt from someone else and they had told me specifically to do jimo. anyways. hopefully you enjoyed...??? lol