I Won't Tell A Soul 

by: coldnewdles (ig)

Moonbin and I just had our first anniversary and he has been sweeter to me ever since. He had the day planned out; breakfast in bed, morning shower together, and he gives me all the sweetest things all through the day, not to mention surprise kisses when he had the chance. It was great and I love him for that and while we snuggle he took me on a little throwback story on how he felt about me exactly a year ago. If I had to tell people about how we met, I would tell them that I met him in a coffee shop, he was with his friends and I was alone. He was clumsy and cute. It was a typical mistake where he spilled his drink on my pants and well I had to stay because he insisted that he wanted to make it up to me and I couldn't say no. Eventually, that mistake become a doorway to a closer relationship and then, he asked me to be his girlfriend and here we are now. I moved to his apartment when were dating for six months. At night we had a small party, inviting our close friends to celebrate our anniversary. Moonbin has five friends that he's closest to and I invited some of my friends. 

        I was put on a mini black dress and had my hair down. When the clock strikes nine, I was unable to control myself.

        Cha Eunwoo. 

        He entered our apartment and I ran to the kitchen, pretending to look busy. I was dumb to think that it actually works.

"Are you looking for me there, Jisoo?" I know for sure that's not Moobin, so I looked back and leaned to the cupboards.

"I wasn't. What do you want?" I asked while keeping my guard up not from him, but from other people who might misjudge the situation. 

"You know what I want.." He replied as he walked slowly, but closer to me. "Oh, congratulations on your one year anniversary. Who would've thought that you guys would last this long."

"Go away, Eunwoo, I don't need you to judge my relationship" I pushed him away as he was being too close--not even friendly close. 

"You do know, it's not just about you and him right?" He replied, but quickly realized that I was uncomfortable, "Fine, I'll back off, at least for now. You should be honest with yourself, you don't love him--you don't even like him. So, be honest." Eunwoo whispered and walked away to the living room. 

        
The party ended around 12 pm and I excused myself out of there. There is a cafe down the block where they open 24 hours and usually when I feel like being alone that is the place where I go to. I took the elevator and through the spinning door, making my way to the apartment entrance and as I walked down there was an alley between the blocks and there is when I felt that someone was grabbing my wrist and pulled me into the alley. I was able to see his face when he pinned me down to the wall. It was Cha Eunwoo and before I could say anything he kissed me, his lips were soft, putting his hand on my waist as his tongue made its way deeper into my lips. I couldn't breathe, but it's okay, then he bit my lower lip and put out a sigh, his face was so close I can feel him panting and I was panting myself. 

"You really shouldn't put me in this situation." I requested in between my breaths. 

"You should try to stop getting my attention." He replied. 

"Kiss me!" I said, pulling his neck closer as our lips crashed and now I was the one who's attacking him with my tongue, this time I bit his lip and gave him a peck. 

"You really know how to make a guy jealous." He stated as he starts kissing my cheeks all the way to my neck and to be honest he gives the best neck kisses. The longer he does it the more I feel pleasure, but I have to stop--I know this not right I have Moonbin, but at the same time, it feels so right. 

"Be with me." He said as his made his way back to my lips. "Leave him and be with me." He asked again and this time there was a hint of desperation in his voice.

"I can't. He'll be broken." I replied in between his kisses. 

"We'll both be broken if you don't end this." He stated. "I want you and don't deny that you want me too." He left after he kisses me on the forehead. 

I went back to the apartment without going to the cafe that I initially planned to go to. That night, I couldn't sleep. Moonbin was drifting to sleep, so I went to the kitchen, made hot chocolate and sat in the corner near the window. I thought about what I should do, but it always ends the same; I will be blamed, then again it is my fault. I would be lying if there no part of me who is using Moonbin to get to Eunwoo. I lied again about when we first met. It wasn't because Moonbin insisted on making it up to me, but it was the sight of Cha Eunwoo that convinces me to stay. I didn't know him at first either, but there was something about his gaze it's like he had me right under his nose. I never tell people the exact full story of how Moonbin and I came together and in the end, I always made it vague, but people seem to understand because it's "love" and " love" does not always make sense. It's just that I don't want to suddenly blurt out anything about Eunwoo. 

Here's the actual story, where the beginning is pretty much the truth and when Moonbin insisted we sat down as in we sat down with his group of friends I was face to face with Moonbin in the aisle seat, while Eunwoo was at the other end near the window and Moonbin was asking me all this kind of just-met-questions and I tried to answer him the best that I could, because my attention was somewhere else. I tried to make Eunwoo notice me, but he it feels like there was a wall between us that I can't punch my way through. The day ended where I made zero progress with Eunwoo, but Moonbin on the other hand, he asked for my number and kept in touch ever since. There were times where I actually liked Moonbin for what he is and when Eunwoo wasn't around I was sure that I loved Moonbin. Of course, that is not possible, as they are best friends and they go back since elementary school. They often visit each other's apartment just to play games, talk or hang out and Moonbin always wanted me to come along. When we are there I can't act normal. I know if I mention anything about this not only this will hurt Moonbin, but it will ruin their friendship and as much as I have strong feelings for them both I don't want to ruin what they have. 

I know this is my fault. I blame me, but I blame Eunwoo as much as I blame myself. He was leading me on when he clearly knows I have feelings for him, yet he took advantage of my feelings. It all began I when I was grocery shopping, Moonbin needed things to be bought and so do I, so I went down to the nearest store and one by one crossing the items on the list. I was trying to get a peanut butter jar, but the one I wanted was on the top shelf and there were no employees that I could ask for help, so I tried reaching up by myself and then there was someone behind me, taking the jar that I wanted to buy and when I turned around it was Eunwoo. He didn't even think about how close he was, our nose almost touched and I was intimidated. 

"Here you go." He stated while handing the jar of butter to me. 

"Th-th-thanks." I stuttered because I was baffled and I just can't believe that he talked to me and that he was the one who initiated the conversation. All this time visiting and meeting up, he never directly spoken to me there was always a middle man or he doesn't bother to ask at all. 

"What brings you here?" He asked. 

"I'm grocery shopping, what does it l