The two of them weren't together, but rather just “together”.

The bitter fact stings like a sharp jab, as those words means two different thing. After all, one was being a part of an important unit, counted as one—while the other word were meant as just a mere situation of two different people stuck together in certain circumstances. Ong Seongwoo couldn't really define which category of his relationship with Daniel fell into, but the insecure part inside of him whispered poison: it was the latter option.

Sure, Daniel was nice with him; the younger boy always acts affectionate towards him, calling him Hyung with such a sweet, gentle tone. Daniel complied all the skinship he gave, initiated them by himself sometimes—those back hugs, the glomps, laying his head onto Seongwoo's laps, acting aegyo and sometimes... sometimes the MMO trainee was doing some banters that almost look like borderline flirting with him.

But Daniel was a nice, good person in general and he treats others well. The maknaes loves him, adores him as a dependable hyung. Daniel was patient and took his time to teach the other trainees whenever he was asked for some advice, and he always smiles—those eye-smiles of him were genuine and complimented often because of it. He smiles for everyone, the ugly voice crept inside Seongwoo's brain like a parasite, It wasn't just for you.

He was being greedy, he realized that. Seongwoo never had such desire like this this before: the urge to throw some fits, demanding attention as he proclaimed that Daniel was his, so no other people will bother them. But he isn't yours, the same ugly voice repeated, He was never yours to begin with. Seongwoo sighed. He didn't want to act like a whinny brat. Acting childish for the sake of being funny is one acceptable thing, but actually being childish and throwing tantrums because he was jealous is another thing, and it was totally not okay.

On the corner of his eyes, Jihoon was whispering something to Daniel—the Maroo trainee tip-toed and leaned forward to Daniel, hands clung onto the latter's broad shoulder. They were communicating in secretive whispers, then Daniel laughed; the brunette clapped his hand in amusement. He hauled the younger member into his arms and patted him as he called the maknae with teasing Jihoonie-ah that felt too intimate to Seongwoo's ears. Ong tried his best to keep his face straight, the stings came back and gave thousands of sharp jabs on his heart. His chest felt tight and for a second he felt so ashamed of himself.

Don't they look perfect together, his dark side laughed, Oh Seongwoo... look at him replacing you with someone else.

Shut up.

Ah, pardon me. He wasn't replacing you. After all you two were never together anyway.

Shut up, shut up.

Have you checked the SNS lately? People keep mentioning WinkNiel, don't they?

It was toxic to listen to those insecurities-filled whispers inside his mind, but Seongwoo felt his breath halted. He slowly stood up from his seat and waddled slowly to the kitchen, feet heavy in every steps. He took an empty glass and filled it with water, gulped the transparent liquid in big gulps.

They used to be inseparable, him and Daniel, teased often as the other trainees mocked that they were joined in the hip. They spent most of their time with each other, in pretense of practicing dance moves and repeating their melodies over and over again, perfecting every line they need to performed. And there were hours of them just lied side by side, muttering random topics, discussing anything else other than the competition itself. Being with Daniel was easier than breathing, happened so naturally—like it was something that meant to be.

Then the competition was over and they kept being busier and busier—their debut was scheduled on August, along with tons of promotion they need to do and a gazillion of ads to shoot. In the beginning it was fun and challenging, until Seongwoo reached the limit and realized that they were slowly drifting apart. He missed to hang out alone with Daniel, but the latter seemed fine without him and Seongwoo took offense because of that. It was such a ty reason to get angry and it was totally not Daniel's fault, but Seongwoo get frustated anyway.

“You are a horrible person, Ong Seongwoo...” He told himself.

Park Jihoon might be a better suit for Daniel than you, anyway. The voice inside him mocked him, leering from the dark corner of his heart. Look at him, young and talented. With such visual that crowned him the #1 title. After all the 1st and the 2nd winner is obviously better choice than the 1st and the 5th, right Seongwoo?

Rank doesn't matter, he wanted to convince himself. It's just a mere number, since they got in to the group. Rank was nothing more than a sequences of votes. But he stood there near the fridge, the empty glass remained on his grip. Seongwoo stood still and inhaled a long, deep breath.

“...Hyung?”

The familiar voice brought him back to reality, and Seongwoo felt the butterflies in his stomach fluttering wildly as Daniel approached him with a wide smile plastered on the younger's face. “Daniel-ah,” Seongwoo's voice was kinda too eager, “You need something from me?”

The latter laughed—as always. Seongwoo mused, Daniel always laughs in every situation. Even when things didn't go well. That's how Daniel behaves. But instead of an awkward laugh, this laughter he gave Seongwoo was the one with amusement tinged with a little bit of embarassment—Daniel scratched the back of his own head, his now brunette hair tousled a bit in result. “No, not really,” Daniel's smile went wider as a dust of pink trailed on those ivory skin, “It's just...”

“...just?” Seongwoo put his glass to the pantry counter and waited for the MMO trainee's further explanation; Daniel hesitated for a second before he took Seongwoo's hand and held the older male's wrist. “We rarely hang out these days. I miss hanging out with you, Hyung.”

Seongwoo held his breath. Daniel's touch felt warm. The Fantagio trainee took a step forward and placed his other hand on Daniel's, which holding his own. In response, Daniel offered his other hand and Seongwoo laced their hands together, fingers tangled onto each other. “Yeah,” He croaked, “I miss hanging out with you too.”

“You're really close with Minhyun these days,” Daniel mumbled, sounded like a protest. Seongwoo chuckled, “Nah, we don't. We just talk sometimes.” Not like you and Jihoon, being together so often people start to create couple nickname for you two. “And like they said, Minhyun is WANNA ONE's daddy after all, right?”

“Stop with the daddy thing, it's giving a lewd vibe,” Daniel pretended to cringe. He took a step closer to Seongwoo, whom hips rested against the counter, leaned closer as their hips brushed lightly. Seongwoo's heart start to beat faster as he could hear his own heartbeats drummed against his ribcages, “Yeah. Just reserve the whole 'Minhyun as the daddy' for Seonho.”

They both chuckled, as the CUBE maknae never hide his affection to Minhyun. The young trainee expressed his love so clearly that even the blind could see his feelings. Seongwoo felt a bit of jealously to the said chick trainee, for being so free and unhesitatingly demonstrated his feelings to the world. Not like the coward you, the ugly voice mocked him once more, and Seongwoo lifted his head. Stared to Daniel's face, Seongwo tried his best to etched the brunette's image on his mind, “And you always with Jisung Hyung, as usual.”

He wanted to mention Jihoon, but he held back. He didn't want to say the fact, as it will left a bitter taste on his mouth. Daniel sensed Seongwoo's hesitation and circled his thumbs on the latter's skin. “Well, he's my sunbae since my early MMO era,” Daniel replied, “And he's WANNA ONE's mother hen after all, right Hyung?”

Seongwoo laughed for the banter. “Yeah.”

He didn't know who moved first—either Daniel leaned in or it was him who pulled Daniel closer; but in the silence on the kitchen, their bodies pressed so dangerously close. He could feel Daniel's warmth through their clothes, and the lack of skin contact between their torso kinda bugged Seongwoo off. He wanted to feel more. As their hands had been freed from each other, Daniel's palm Seongwoo's arms, slowly traveled to his forearm, to the latter's back, and finally circled around Seongwoo's hips—casually rested on the small of his back.

Seongwoo wished the time would stop at the moment, framed the two of them in eternity. Their faces were an inch apart, Daniel's breath felt warm on his cheek, those dark orbs stared straight into his own, into his deepest soul. I love you, Seongwoo thought, but he didn't say the words. His lips parted, but he still didn't say anything. Daniel paused for a second, tilted his head and shortening the distance between their face, whispering his name without honorifics: “Seongwoo-ah—“

“Daniel Hyung?”

Jihoon's voice interrupted their moment, and the picture perfect moment crumbled like grains of sands slipped through the fingers. Daniel turned around, Jihoon's steps approached closer as the light tap tap tap sound of his slippers hit the wooden parquet floor. Daniel was still holding him, the hand on his left side of the waist felt like an anchor that tied the two of them together. But he was stepping away, the gap between them were only inches apart but felt wider than ever.

“There you are,” Jihoon's head peeked from the kitchen's entrance arch, “Jisung Hyung was looking for you.”

The younger left soon after he told the news, the tap tap tap steps sound went fainter as he walked away. Both of Daniel and Seongwoo halted. After a few seconds, Daniel turned his head back to Seongwoo, “I was called.” Those hand left his waist, leaving an odd sensation of something missing. Seongwoo slowly nodded, but he was still holding the hem of Daniel's shirt. He didn't want to let go.

You are not together, The voice crept once more. Seongwoo felt a lump on his throat as he finally released his grip from Daniel's shirt. “Go now,” He said, voice calm yet a bit hoarse. Daniel took a few steps before he stopped and turned for the last time, “Later, Hyung.”

No, don't go.

But Daniel stepped out from the kitchen, and Seongwoo inhaled a long breath. Stared at his empty glass on the counter, he stood still—body rigid as thousands of unexplained emotions roared inside of him. Their moment before was too intimate to be counted as a normal friendship between the group member.

What are we, Daniel?

***

Their current photoshoot was located on the beach.

The horizon was wide and beautiful, the gentle waves washed the shore with repeated patterns. There were seagulls cry heard from afar, eventhough the sky wasn't at the best summer condition. It was dark with heavy grey cumulonimbus, soft drizzle fell in mist like form and forced them to wear umbrellas.

In contrast with the location, they were wearing formal outifts: fitted form white dress shirt with jet black suit. The sand crunched under their leather shoes. Seongwoo inhaled the air, tasted humid and salty, carried the scent of nostalgic childhood memories.

“What are you thinking...?” Jaehwan stood near him, eyes locked on the bluish murky horizon; expression unreadable. The vocalist lost a quite significant weight these days, and there's something mellow on his vibe.

“Many things,” Seongwoo replied, being vague as ever. The breezes blew stronger, felt cold against his skin. “And you...?” He asked back after a moment of silence.

Jaehwan lowered his gaze to the sands. “Many things,” Jaehwan retorted back. You are missing him, hard, Seongwoo realized, “You can call him, you know.” The younger male finally turned his gaze to Seongwoo, “Who do you mean?”

But it wasn't really a question. Seongwoo answered with an apologetic smile, “Jung Sewoon.”

For a second there, Jaehwan looked like he want to deny the truth—but he swallowed his protest down and sighed. “It's not as simple as that,” Jaehwan muttered, “I didn't even know if he's feeling the same, you know. What if... I make a mistake and then things turned awkward? I don't want to risk it.”

“But you never know if you never try,” Seongwoo replied.

Jaehwan laughed, kinda cynical. “I'll give the words back to you, Ong Seongwoo,” The independent trainee gestured on f