Pairing: 2park, Ongniel, friendly!maknae line (OT3), mentioned Samwhi

Genre: romance, comedy(if you can call it that), crack, wtf ong

Wanna know a Secret?

“ATTENTION MEMBERS OF WANNA ONE, I REPEAT, ATTENTION TO THE MEMBERS OF WANNA ONE. I HAVE NEWLY AQCUIRED INFORMATION REGARDING A CERTAIN LEE DAEW—” A shrill cry sweeps across the room and everyone, including Jihoon, has to stop what they’re doing to cover their ears. A chorus of Daewhi stop screaming and Jihoon I swear to god’s break out amongst the dining area of their compact dormitory.

“JIHOON! YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!” Daewhi disregards the glare Jaehwan throws at him in favour of stomping his way over to the devil in disguise.

“Fine, god Daewhi, I won’t say anything.” Jihoon rolls his eyes at the younger and Daewhi turns to leave the room triumphantly before about a dozen pings go off simultaneously and everyone in the room freezes.

Daewhi turns back around slowly and looks to everyone in the room as they look back at him and for a moment he almost believes that they’ll have the heart to not open the group chat and read his secret as a community; that is until one Ong Seongwoo howls out a very loud “DAEWHI IS IN LOVE WITH SAMUEL!!!” At this all of the members unlock their phones to pull up the group chat to verify that yes, Jihoon has just blabbed Daewhi’s most personal secret out to the entire group including their two managers and their head stylist.

A smug Jihoon steals the toast right out of a shocked Minhyun’s hand, taking a bite and smirking to the subject of his revelation “I didn’t say anything, Daewhi. I typed it.”

There’s two blurs that sweep by in a fury before all of the older members realize that Guanlin is holding Daewhi back from quite literally ripping Jihoon’s head from off his stick neck. A sympathetic Jinyoung, who was exposed the previous week for waxing both his legs and arms, grabs Jihoon’s phone from his hand, typing out a quick apology and tells the staff that he was only kidding. Their stylist sends back a quick Joke or not, I ship! and Jinyoung sighs knowing that this is as good as he can get things. He hands the phone back to Jihoon and leaves to go join his two younger members in Daewhi’s room, but not before Jihoon can manage to run his hand up Jinyoung’s arm and ask him why he’s acting so prickly.

A snort, a shut up Seongwoo, and an ouch what the Jaehwan? are the last things anyone says about the topic.

//

Now, being Wanna One’s number one source for all things entertaining, weird, interesting, or down right insane is a title that Jihoon is very proud of, however, with great power comes great responsibility and it’s fair to say he’s made his fair share of enemies over the months. There was the time he told Jisung that Daniel and Seongwoo made out on his bed, or the time he told Sungwoon that Guanlin was the mastermind behind that time when every chair Sungwoon seemed to sit on would just collapse beneath him, heck, he was even the reason Daniel and Seongwoo got together in the first place (Jihoon is regretting that one only slightly)! So with everyone out to get him in one way or another, Jihoon has learned to sleep with one eye open.

The members of Wanna One can’t exactly complain that Jihoon is so good at gathering information when they’ve all used his skills at least once or twice in the past, but that still doesn’t change the fact that the boy knows too much to ever be messed with. The older members can’t even do much about it because one glance from Jihoon is enough to make them cower. It may be a bluff, but that’s a risk nobody is willing to take. It is also safe to say that Jihoon has the Wanna One members wrapped around his little finger.

//

“So guys, how are we going to get that jerk back for constantly dishing our secrets?” Daniel asks the group one evening when it’s Jihoon’s turn to pick up dinner for all the members with his manager. He moves to wrap an arm around an equally angry and embarrassed Daewhi.

“Obviously we just need to find out one of his secrets and expose him the way he’s done to all of us!” Sungwoon duhs the group as if he’s solved a mystery.

“Thanks, Sherlock, like we haven’t already thought of that.” Jaehwan snickers at the crestfallen expression Sungwoon now has on.

“Guys—” Woojin tries to interject but is quickly swept away by the flow of the conversation.

“We all know that Jihoon never exposes anything that could be used against him. How could we possibly get anything out of him?” Guanlin asks frustrated.

All at once suggestions come flying out between all of the boys, one offering to stalk him, another offering to go through his messages, and one even going as far as let’s torture his !

“Guys—I really don’t—” Woojin, again, tries to join “Don’t think that’s… necessary.”

“Why? Do you already have something on him, Woojin?” Daewhi asks excitedly

“No, it’s just, you know, two wrongs don’t make a left.” Woojin knows that his trying to convince the members to not expose Jihoon is futile, but he continues anyways “He just likes to gossip guys we should just talk to him about it.”

“Like he would listen to that! We gotta crush him and crush him good.” Minhyun chimes in and for a second everyone is a little shocked at the evil glint in his usually kind eyes before all of them match him with equally maniacal looks. Woojin sighs.

“I’m honestly surprised none of you have thought of this, but it’s actually simple really.” Jinyoung sits up a little and all eyes turn to him in question, “We don’t need to dig up anything on him. We just have to make something up.”

“Okay, now that’s really not a good—” Woojin is convinced at this point that his group is purposely waiting for him to speak just to cut him off.

“Now that I think about it, you’ve never been exposed by that devil, have you?” Daniel asks Woojin and he shakes his head.

The other boys all shout in surprise. “Really? Not even once?” Jinyoung asks intrigued.

“Is that why you don’t want to join us in revenge? Because you haven’t tasted betrayal yet?” Jisung asks dramatically.

“What do you have to hide anyways? You know what they say; the quiet ones are always the freaks.” Seongwoo laughs out “And why hasn’t he gotten anything on you yet?”

At the sudden onset of questions and gazes all pointed at him he can’t help but cower back. A blush paints itself across his cheeks and down the back of his neck and he stutters out a very poor lie about not having anything to hide. A single gasp turns all the heads to Daewhi, but Daewhi continues to look at Woojin “YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH JIHOON!”

Woojin really does try to deny it but it’s so hard to get a word in above all of the laughing everyone else is doing—not that he can hear it with his blood rushing to his ears and his heart pounding.

“Oh man, I’m crying I can’t, I really can’t.” Everyone is more or less on the floor from laughing so hard.

“Woojin, do you actually like that little ? How?” Guanlin asks wiping a tear away.

“I-I just… He’s just cute okay shut up!” Woojin’s more than a little flustered and the moment he hears Daewhi squeal out an excited Let’s be partners in unrequited love! he’s certain that he’d be A okay with a hole in the ground swallowing him up right this moment. Woojin prays for some divine intervention and it comes in the form of Jihoon entering the dorm with bags and trays of food.

“What are you all just looking at me for?” Jihoon asks and Seongwoo bursts out in a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

“We were just wondering when you would be here with our food, you .” Daewhi grumbles.

“Don’t worry, Daewhi, I’m sure Samuel likes you too” Jihoon snickers and Daewhi lifts a pillow ready to launch it at the older boy before Daniel snatches it out of his hand because he’s holding our dinner, Whi.

//

Woojin isn’t sure if it’s the ping from his phone or the shriek next door that wakes him up, but if it was neither of those things then he’s sure Jihoon kicking down every door in the dorm and rounding up all the members with a loud get your asses out here NOW did.

“Jihoon likes Yongguk? JIHOON LIKES YONGGUK? REALLY? Do you WANT to die?” Jihoon is pacing in the living room while all of the members are sitting either on the couch or the floor in front of it. “Jinyoung, you asshat, you didn’t overhear anything! Tell them you lied right now.”

Woojin takes a look at his group chat, yes, the one with the managers and their stylist, and sees Jinyoung’s message about how he heard Jihoon talking on the phone about how much he likes Yongguk. Woojin sighs again; he told them not to do this.

“Oh how the tables have turned.” Minhyun chuckles softly and Jihoon glares at him.

“Don’t worry, Jihoon, I’m sure Yongguk will like you back.” Daewhi mimics the words of the elder from last night.

“I hate you all. It isn’t true!” Jihoon has taken on an unusually bright shade of red as he huffs and looks around for anyone even semi-willing to be on his side. No luck.

“Look, Jihoon, you’ve made a name for yourself exposing us to the others for quite some time. Isn’t it about time you got a taste of your own medicine? It’s all in the game, baby.” Seongwoo winks at him.

“But this isn’t fair! I’ve never exposed something untrue about you guys!” There’s a pregnant pause in which the members almost feel bad and almost consider giving up the guise because it looks like Jihoon may actually combust (into flames or tears nobody really knows). However, that is what almost happens, what does happen is that the buzzing of Jihoon’s phone breaks the silence instead.

“Hello? NO UGHHH IT’S NOT TRUE.” Jihoon yells into his phone causing all ten of the other boys to start cracking up. “NO, YONGGUK, I AM NOT SHY I JUST DON’T LIKE YOU THAT WAY.” Sungwoon is crying and Daniel actually falls off the couch hearing Jihoon’s conversation. “YONGGUK I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL DELETE AND BLOCK YOUR NUMBER. DON’T EVEN TRY ME.” The boy on the phone groans and hangs up.

“This is even better than I could have even imagined it!” Minhyun cries while he attempts to push a dead-as-a-log Daniel off of his legs.

“JINYOUNG TELL THEM THE TRUTH!” Jihoon is ready to combust again but before Jinyoung can get the chance to tell Jihoon that they all already know it’s a lie (besides poor Yongguk) Jihoon looks over at a still laughing Woojin and screams “STOP LAUGHING YOU IDIOT WOOJIN DO YOU REALLY THINK I LIKE YONGGUK WHEN I OBVIOUSLY LIKE YOU?”

Jihoon definitely got what he wanted, Woojin stops laughing, but so do the rest of the boys. There’s a faint you’ve got to be ing kidding me from somewhere over on Jaewhan’s side. Daewhi screams and before he can say anything about Woojin’s feelings the latter slaps his hand over his mouth. “What do you mean by “I obviously like you”?”

“Yeah, what do you mean?” Seongwoo joins in and everybody tells him to shut up (except for Daniel, who moves to cuddle his pouting baby everyone is just grumpy don’t worry boo).

“I mean, you’re the only one I didn’t expose and I always sit with you in the van and stuff. How could you not notice?” Jihoon is blushing from head to toe at this point and he thinks he would be okay if the ground swallowed him up whole right now.

“Not even a mind reader would have noticed that, Jihoon.” Guanlin sneers.

“But I’m so obvious about my feelings for Woojin! I’m always watching 2park videos and I’m always too shy to do fanservice with him, really, I think you should have noticed.”

“Did you just admit to watching 2park videos?” Jaehwan asks and before Jihoon can even shout no a dozen pings go off in the living room and the latter curses at Jinyoung, who is tucking his phone back into his pocket.

“Don’t worry, Jihoon, I’m sure Woojin will like you back” Daewhi snickers but chokes halfway through the action because Woojin still has his arm around him.

Jihoon sighs at the sight of an obviously disinterested Woojin choking the life out of Daewhi for even uttering that he could possibly like him back. He turns his back to everyone and prepares to leave when he hears someone shout for him to wait. He looks at Woojin before he hears an “It wasn’t him, you fool, it was me.” From Jaehwan.

“What?” He sighs.

“Wait!” Woojin cuts Jaehwan off (finally!) before looking to Jihoon “I’ll say it.” Woojin makes a stand and grabs Jihoon by the arm, tugging him into one of the rooms and closing the door.

“Oh c’mon! We were a part of this since the beginning! We want to see the action too!” Seongwoo calls out after them.

//

Half an hour later a very breathless, yet content Jihoon walks back into the living room with a satisfied Woojin.

“That’s disgusting.” Daniel teases.

“So is making out on someone else’s bed.” Jisung fires back.

“I guess we can’t be partners then, Woojin” Daewhi sighs.

“Partners in what?” Jihoon furrows his brows.

“In love.” Daewhi answers but quickly takes it back before Jihoon threatens to call Samuel and tell him about his crush.

“So do you all believe me now when I say I don’t like Yongguk?” Jihoon side eyes the group.

“We all knew from the very beginning that this was a lie. We just wanted to get you back for exposing us all the time.” Guanlin explains to him.

“I hate you all.” Jihoon rolls his eyes and yanks Woojin into his room for more couple stuff.

“You know what I just realized?” Daewhi asks the group.

“What?”

“Even though we were the ones who exposed him it still worked out for him in the end. He got a boyfriend out of this…”

Everyone in the living room groans when nine pings are heard.

Jihoon: It’s all in the game, baby :^))