“Love at first sight. It was something I didn’t believe in, I still don’t.

When I spared a glance towards your direction, you didn’t have me enchanted nor disgusted. It was my curiosity that held me captivated.

This boy, who was a year younger than I, stared as if I was a fair being. As I watched you, crimson your cheeks became. It was sickeningly adorable, you were sickeningly adorable.

We became close by mutual friends and mutual interest (“in each other”). Only little time we had to tighten our friendship until I would be gone.

Autumn is where we would go strolling around the city with no care in the world, only noticing each other’s presence.

Winter is where we would sit by the fireplace, too close for only friends to invade each other’s personal space as I could feel the soothing warmth radiating from your body.

Spring is where we would make music by taking advantage of each other’s talents. Taken by surprise, your voice was something I no longer can live without.

Summer is where our friendship blossomed into something more. Those stealing glances in between moments were ours to take. I keep seeing the little things only lovers could tell.

Your sun-kissed skin was what had drawn me to you, your gentle eyes are what had me wanting for more, your dishevelled brown hair was why I kept on wanting to feel you, your plump lips are why I wanted to kiss you like no one was around and your was the one thing that had stopped me from doing so.

The limited time we had was indeed made worthwhile. Nevertheless, it was not enough to satisfy my heart

As time flew by, my condition became worse and you became my reason to fight.

When times were rough and I was on the edge of falling apart, you allowed me into your arms. Comfort and peace come by me when I am with you.

Our first kiss was shared when you cried in my arms, we laid in bed and you poured your heart out to me and you told me your fear of me leaving you. My death is inevitable and so was this moment as I silenced you with my lips.

These memories filled with happiness, sorrow, trust and love are precious to me and I will cherish them until death.

In the time we spend together, I postponed my feelings towards you. Regret engulfed me when I had not sooner accepted this feeling of love towards another boy. I never found the right time to confess in person but now it is too late.

As you read this letter, death has probably tore us apart. Your devastation must be unescapable. Nevertheless, I want you to find a partner, have children and grow old happily without me. I’ll be meekly waiting until we meet once more.

Donghyuck, I love you.

Forever yours,

Mark”

Crying, Mark read his letter out loud before Donghyuck’s grave, feelings of mourning and betrayal within him.

Mark felt pathetic, thinking he would be the one to leave Donghyuck first whereas it turned out to be the opposite.

He didn’t deserve Donghyuck’s love. How could he not see that Donghyuck was suffering a greater illness than he was?

Selfish was one thing to describe himself, weak was another.

Faint sobs could be heard from the cemetery until the rain enveloped his agony.