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- Ahn Jinae

            I watch as he leaves the house. I watch as he walks away, disappearing from my view once again. Before this, I have always wondered how it would feel like when he finally returns. I had thought that my heart would feel more at ease, knowing that he is still alive and well—but today proved me something else. When I actually saw Oh Sehun, seated in the dining room of my house, my mind and heart were at a conflict. All the memories of us flashed across my mind, and it should have made me miss him more. However, all I wanted to do was to get away from him.

            I have never hated him this much.

            “Madam Son?” Haein’s voice floats in softly as she pushes the door silently, entering the room. I ignore her, my eyes still fixated to the view outside the window, seeing Mr Hyun halting Sehun’s steps for a moment to pass him something. When they finally part away again, just before Sehun gets into the car, his eyes suddenly flicks upwards. I rush to draw the curtains, not wishing for him to catch me looking.

            But when my fingers grasp the soft satin fabric of the curtain, I notice that he is not looking into my direction. In fact, I believe that he does not even realise that I am staring at him through this room. His eyes are staring straight at another window, and it finally struck me that he is looking into the direction of my old bedroom. His expression changes, but before I can take a closer look, he turns and climbs into the car. I keep staring until the car disappears from my view.

            Haein’s touch on my upper arm gives me a jolt, and she immediately apologises for interrupting my thoughts. “It’s okay. I’m just… I don’t feel quite myself right now,” I mumble to her, hoping that the explanation is enough. As usual, Haein never questions my action and simply nods. I let her guide me to the bed, lowering myself down on the mattress.

            “Please, let me have a look at your legs,” she says, crouching down in front of me to inspect my skin. Sehun’s appearance has actually made me forget that I dropped a tray of hot tea onto myself. After examining thoroughly, Haein stands and walks into the bathroom connected to the room, returning with a basin filled with cold water and a clean towel. She places the basin in front of me, dips the towel in and starts gently wiping my legs using it. “It’s a relief you didn’t hurt yourself, Madam. Your husband wouldn’t have liked it to see you get hurt.”

            “Would he?” I question, mostly to myself, but it makes Haein’s hands stop for a short second. She continues without saying anything, at least, for several more minutes.

            “Madam, who is that man?”

            I stare at her, the question catching me off guard. “Who?”

            Haein does not miss a beat. “The man you ran away from. I have never seen him around since I started working here. Is he someone you’re close with?” Of course. Sehun left before she started working with me. “I apologise for asking this, but I need to know his status in order for me to be able to know what to do if he happens to be around again next time.”

            “He’s….”  I do not know how I should refer him as. An old friend? Someone I used to know? My first love? Th