Dear My Marriage,

     Woah, I lost this journal. It has got to have been like a solid six months since I've written anything. So, um, moral of the story is I at keeping journals? Anyway, here is my update on life.

     I am still, in fact, married. Luhan and I live in a flat together down the street from where I attend college. I am getting a degree in business and Luhan is getting a degree in being a housewife. Just kidding, Luhan doesn't think college is for him so he is taking shifts at the campus Starbucks. Sure, it's not a permanent job, but it pays the bills. 

     I dyed my hair blond and my height went up a few inches, Luhan didn't really grow or change at all. Just like my love for him. My infatuation with the Chinese boy never ceased to exist since we wed. Everyday I would wake up and look next to me. There he would be. His cute face scrunched due to an interesting dream. His chest rising and falling, in a rhythm that seemed to match mine. Everything about him seemed to match me.

     Except for his love. Luhan never seemed too excited to be with me. Sure, he glowed at the wedding with exuberance. You know, I bet he does care for me, I bet that he does in fact like me. However, love? I'm not so sure. We were the only boys into boys in our town. It wasn't as if he had a menu to choose from, where he could select 'tall' or 'short', 'tummy' or 'abs'. Nope, he had me. His best friend since preschool.

     Luhan and I weren't always inseperable. When we were around eight an incident occurred. A new boy moved into town. His name was Park Chanyeol. He was chubby, liked animals, and most importantly, he was cute. I made it my mission to befriend this boy. One day he sat on the swings alone, he lightly kicked his feet, not succeeding in his mission to make the swing do what it does with the other kids. 

     A girl, with an awful attitude for an eight year old, began to make fun of little Chanyeol.  He started to cry and I felt my little heart break. I ran up the the swings and pushed him so he could soar. He giggled and soon he was my best friend. We would hang out late at night and play video games until dawn. If I spent the night at his house, he would show me his animals, he even let me play with his precious ferret. I loved Chanyeol.

     Luhan noticed that too. He saw that I was dodging his requests to hang out. He saw that Chanyeol and I had a bond. I think it's fair to say that he was jealous. Luhan confronted me, after two years of slowly seperating. We met up at the playground, our spot.

"What's wrong, LuLu?" I asked him.

"Why don't you pay attention to me? All you do is hang out with Chanyeol, talk about Chanyeol, and I bet you even love him!" Luhan whined, I gave him a hug, a reassuring, 'I'm sorry' type of hug.

"How about I show you something that even Chanyeol doesn't know about?" I said as we seperated, perking his interest.

"I can do the monkeybars without jumping."

"What? No way, you are not that tall."

"Oh, how you are wrong, my friend." So I showed him. I walked under the monkeybars, my hands touching the top with my extended arms above my head.

"I'm so proud I could kiss you!" He exclaimed with a smile.

"So do it." I walked towards him. His lips met mine. It was short, just a peck, however it changed my life. This kiss, that we didn't know how to deepen, helped me realize who I was. 

     I was a boy into boys, especially this one.

Bye Bye, 

BobaTeaLover1000