“Jungkook…”

“We need to talk.” He said, his voice firm, his expression stern, a look she was unaccustomed to seeing on his handsome face. “Soo Jung, everything alright?” she turned around at the sound of Yoongi’s voice. “Yeah. Jungkook's here.” She said hesitantly, her brain still trying to process what was happening. “We’re gonna talk.” She said, making Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow. “Are you sure you're up for it?” he asked worriedly, thinking about not only her physical condition, but her emotional state as well. His gaze was hard as he glared through at Jungkook. She nodded, “I’ll be fine.” She said, flashing him what she hoped was a reassuring smile as she stepped out of the house.

She wrapped her arms around her waist as they walked, feeling vulnerable under Jungkook's intense gaze. “There's a park close by to here.” He said curtly from ahead of her. The second she had shut her door he had stormed ahead. She followed behind him, barely daring to breathe let alone speak. She could tell that he was agitated and that he had a lot to get off of his chest, which he probably didn’t want to do when Yoongi was within earshot. She made up her mind to let him get it all out… whether it was good or bad, though she had a pretty good idea of which way it was going to go. She knew he was hurting, but she couldn’t imagine what he must be feeling. After all, he had just been kidnapped and found out that one of his close friends was a murderer…

The thought made her wrap her arms tighter around her body. Shame and disgust filling her body at everything she had ever done. Every person she had killed or even hurt. The fact that Jungkook had suffered because of her… She was sure that Jungkook hated her, but even that couldn’t compare with her own self-loathing.

They walked in silence, both of them caught up in their own thoughts until they found a bench that was far away from the busy centre of the park. She could feel the strain on her body from not eating or being active for the past few days. She felt dizzy and lightheaded as she sat on the bench, her expression not betraying her weakness. Jungkook chose to stand, far too agitated to sit down. “I’ve been thinking about everything that happened, and I just can’t wrap my head around it. I tried to tell myself that it was just some kind of a nightmare. That I fell and bumped my head and that I dreamt it all, but I just cant. I need to understand.” He said as he fidgeted in front of her.

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.” She said, her head dipped, voice low. He frowned at her, she looked completely different from the Soo Jung that he knew. She was like a shell. He shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. He was there for answers, he couldn’t afford to be soft-hearted. “Tell me the truth. Are you some kind of an assassin?” he asked bluntly, half dreading her answer. “I used to be.” She replied, her voice cracking slightly as she answered. She knew that her words were the final nail in the coffin of hers and Jungkook's relationship.

Jungkook frowned at her. “What do you mean used to be? You're twenty. When did you become an assassin?” he asked, barely believing that he was having this conversation. Soo Jung cleared , keeping her gaze locked firmly on the ground below her. “My mother sold me to the Institute when I was a baby. They experimented on me and raised me with a very specific skill set. I stayed with the Institute until I was around twelve years old. Then the Institute was shut down and Yoongi took me in. He raised me like I was his own daughter.” She said, hoping she would be spared from having to go into detail about what she suffered through at the institute.

“Why?” he asked, his gaze was intense as he stared at her. “Why did he take you in?” She shook her head, her shoulders rising in a slight shrug. “I don’t know. We had worked together once before. I think he felt sorry for me.” She said, her eyes focused on her feet. Jungkook took a deep breath to brace himself for his next question. He had thought about it over and over again, but every time he tried to put it out his mind, he failed, he had to know. “How many?” he asked, his voice losing a little bit of its edge as the question was finally out in the open. Her head snapped up, her gaze meeting his for the first time since they had left her house. “Jungkook…”

“How many? I need to know.” He said, interrupting her as his nails bit into his palms. “Five.” She whispered, her arms tightening around herself as she once again looked away from him. She couldn’t bear to see the look of revulsion on his face at her confession. “I know it doesn’t make any difference but they were bad people.” Jungkook's eyebrows furrowed, his stomach churning from her answer. “What do you mean?” he asked, all the anger gone from his voice, instead replaced with confusion. “The first one was into child trafficking. The second liked to children. The third was an embezzler. The fourth and fifth ran a drug ring together.” she said as she tried to keep a lid on her emotions. She had never had a problem controlling her emotions, that is, until she had met Jungkook. “I know that just because they were bad people it doesn’t excuse what I did. You were right what you said the other day. I’m a murderer. Just because they were bad people doesn’t change that fact. I’m a murderer.” She said, her voice breaking at the end, her head dipping even further, her arms wrapping painfully around her torso, aggravating her wound.

“Soo Jung…” Jungkook felt his anger melt a little. He hadn’t meant to call her a murderer the other day. He had just been so worked up that the words were out before he even realised it. He hadn’t thought about the impact that they would have on her. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I honestly never meant for any of this to happen. I don’t know how to be normal. I never intended to be friends with anyone. I told myself that I was better off alone. Every time I tried to be normal and fit in, I would say something that would just scare people off or make them think I was weird.” She let out a bitter laugh at the memories of all of her failed attempts at making friends over the years.

“You were the first person that didn’t care that I wasn’t normal, you didn’t care that I was quiet and weird. You accepted me as I was. But it was hard. I had this huge secret that I could never let anyone find out. The thought of you finding out about my disgusting life terrified me. You are so pure and kind, the thought of exposing you to filth like me… I thought about pushing you away so many times. But I just couldn’t do it. I was so ing selfish. And I was punished for being selfish, you were put in danger because of someone like me. It’s unforgivable.” She looked up at him with watery eyes. She had gone years without crying, and now, in the space of a week, she had cried at least three times.

“I’m so sorry that I was too selfish to push you away. I’m so sorry that Namjoon kidnapped you. I’m so sorry that you got hurt because of me. And most of all, I’m so sorry that you had to meet someone like me.” She stood up quickly trying to ignore the wave of dizziness that washed over her. She quickly swiped at the tears that threatened to stream down her cheeks at any second. She had intended on listening to everything he had to say, but she couldn’t bear it. “I meant what I said the other day. You should just forget everything Jungkook. This time tomorrow I’ll be gone and you’ll never have to see me again.” she said as she turned to leave.

Jungkook reached forward and grabbed her wrist. “What are you talking about?” he asked, confusion filling him. She took a deep breath, trying to push down her feelings as she turned to face him. “We’re leaving. First thing in the morning.” She said, wondering how he hadn’t noticed the boxes sitting in her living room. “Where are you going?” he asked, an almost desperate tone to his voice. She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that I’ll be gone and you can return to your old life. It’ll just be like I never existed.”

“No!” he shouted, catching her off-guard. “I don’t want that!” he said, his mind racing almost as fast as his heart. “I don’t want you to disappear!” he said forcefully, his grip tightening on her wrist, as if he was afraid that she would vanish right in front of him. “I was so freaked out that night.” He admitted. “I never imagined that something like that would happen in real life. It sounds like the script for a movie.” He said as he tried to piece together his thoughts.

“I've been looking for you for the past four days. I needed answers but you never came back to your dorm. I went by the other day and it was completely cleaned out. I thought you had already disappeared. I asked one of the seniors that Hoseok hyung is friendly with to help me find out your dad… I mean Yoongi’s address.” She gave him a curious look. “How did you even find it out?” she asked. “Hoseok hyung’s friend, Woozi, is some kind of computer genius and possibly a hacker. He got into the school’s computer system and found out your address for me so that I could come talk to you.” He said.

“When you left me at the car that night you said I'd never need to see you again. I was too worked up then to think about that. Do you know that I took that car and drove it around until I ran out of petrol because I needed to think?” he asked. She shook her head. All Yoongi had told her was that Jungkook had arrived back at his dorm safely and that he hadn’t seemed to have told anyone about what had happened. “I was so confused. I had just been kidnapped by someone I thought was my friend and then I was rescued by another friend who is a freaking assassin?” he said, a cold laugh making its way of his mouth.

Soo Jung bit her lip, every word out of Jungkook's mouth felt like a physical blow onto her already fragile body and heart. “If you want to yell at me and curse me out go ahead. Hell, if you want to punch me in the face for what I put you through then go right ahead. It’s the least I deserve.” She said, a small part of her hoping that he would take out his frustrations out on her if would help him put all of this ugliness behind him. He looked horrified at her words. “How could you think that I would ever… Soo Jung.” He said his voice softening. “I can’t pretend that all of this isn’t shocking. I don’t think I've ever heard something that shocked me so badly before.” He admitted, his grip still on her wrist. “But I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past four days. And although I can’t fully understand what you’ve been through or the things you’ve done… that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you in my life.”

Soo Jung bit her lip and held her breath as he continued. “Thinking about what you must of went through, I’m sure I can’t even begin to imagine or comprehend it. I heard a little from Namjoon and from you and I can’t even imagine…” he sighed. “I don’t think you're a bad person, Soo Jung.” She dipped her head at his words. “Jungkook, you said it yourself; I’m a murderer.” She whispered, her voice wobbling on the word ‘murderer’. He grabbed her shoulders. “No!” he said forcefully, begging her to look at him. “No, you're not. I was out of my mind when I said that. I had just been kidnapped by someone that I thought was a friend and found out probably the most shocking thing I’ll ever hear in my entire life. You’re not a murderer. You said it yourself, the people you killed were bad. You were following orders. It’s just like when soldiers have to kill their enemies. It’s the same thing.”

“Jungkook, how can you say that?” she asked, as she looked up at him. “I wasn’t a soldier, I was a tool.” She said as she held his gaze. He cupped her face with trembling fingers. “What would have happened to you if you had refused?” he asked sternly. “The very least, torture. Repeated offenses… they would probably have considered me a failed experiment and killed me.” she admitted. “Exactly.” He said firmly. “You did what you had to do to survive. I know you're not a bad person. The Soo Jung I know is the real you. The girl who is amazing at basketball. The girl who laughs at Jin hyung’s terrible jokes. The girl who worked on a project with me. The girl that has the prettiest smile when she thinks no one is looking at her. The girl who let Namjoon live… You left that other part of your life behind. And you were willing to give it all up and go back to that awful place to protect me. That selfless, kind person is the real you.” he said as he gently cupped her other cheek. “Why?” he asked. “Why were you willing to give up the life that you had fought so hard for?”

She tried to look away from him, but his hands on her face with both hands stopped her. “Why were you willing to give up your freedom, your life?” he asked, his eyes searching hers. She took a shaky breath, “Because you mean more to me than anyone else ever has in my entire life.” She admitted in a terrified whisper.