The watch on my wrist indicated that it was 15 to 5. I hummed along to ‘The Boys’ as I made my way to the TS headquarters. The cool, summer evening brightened up my mood. There was nothing better than a clear sky and mild breezes. Capturing this magical moment, I thought about what would happen once I was there. Probably cute guys and cute girls. That are dating. I sighed. Guys no longer interest me and I could care less about other girls. But what hurt the most was when I saw them together. I exhaled deeply, trying to clear my mind of his image again. Before I knew it, I was already at the door. After making sure that I was at least 5 minutes early, I reluctantly pressed the buzzer. I told a woman that I was here to see the CEO and I was buzzed in. I held my breath as I went in, pleased to see how simple yet elegant the lobby was. I made my way to the front desk, where a lady was sitting.

                “Jiyun,” The familiar voice called my name. He was sitting on a couch near the door and walked up to me when he noticed me, gummy smile in place. “Good to see you a little early. Let’s go up.” I nodded and bit down on my lip to stop myself from trembling. I followed him into the elevator, and fought to keep calm. I honestly didn’t know what I was afraid of. It was probably meeting the CEO and seeing the other trainees that was bugging me. I hated introducing myself and trying to make a good impression. I always came off as mean and cold.

Just as I was in my own world, the elevator opened to signal our stop and he walked out, gesturing down the hallway. I quickly looked away and swallowed continuously. I mentally screamed to myself that I was going to make a fool of myself as I followed him down the hall. I just couldn’t get close to anyone anymore, after what happened 3 years ago.

Mr. Gummy-smile pulled open the door at the end of the long hallway, and I quickly squeezed my eyes shut. Taking a deep breath, I tried to put on a convincing enough smile. Smiling was definitely not an everyday thing anymore. At first, it was so quiet that when I opened my eyes again I expected no one to be there. Instead, about ten teenagers were there, standing in a straight line. They turned around at the unexpected entrance.

“Everyone, this is Jiyun. She’ll be a new member of our family, so treat her well. Where’s the CEO?” The guy-whose-name-I-still-don’t-know broke the silence, and everyone looked away as if someone snapped their fingers after being in a trance.

“He went out, Yongguk hyung.” A cute boy with chubby cheeks called out from the middle of the lineup, looking at me curiously. He would be a pest soon with his bombard of questions. I could see it in his eyes. As I looked around at the girls, what the cute boy said suddenly hit me. I turned and looked at the guy beside me. Yongguk? That’s his name? And I thought it was gonna be some hot-shot name. Pfft.

“Oh, well, I guess I’ll go look for him. Why don’t you guys make Jiyun feel at home? You guys can get to know each other better. I’ll be right back.” Yongguk turned and smiled at me before exiting the room. I sighed and turned to face the people that I had no intention of getting close to. I’ve lived 3 years on my own; I didn’t need anyone to rely on.

“Hi, Jiyun. I’m Youngjae. Welcome. I’m 22, how about you?” The chubby boy from before stepped forward and waved. The others didn’t look too interested.

“21.” I tried to lighten my tone, seeing as how nice he was treating me. Others usually gave me the cold shoulder and I wouldn’t bother trying to make an effort, either.

“Oh, cool. So I’m your oppa. Most of the guys here are either 22 or 23, and the girls are from 17-20. You’ll be the unnie, then, I guess. And the dongsaeng amongst us.” He smiled proudly; glad to be once again over-powering the girls.

I scoffed. “I was born in January, though.” Why did it seem like the guys had more power around here?

He looked unfazed by my remark, and just smiled. “Then I guess you and Zelo can be friends.” Everyone whipped their heads to the back of the room, and a guy moved over for me to see a figure lying near the mirrors with an arm covering his face.

“What? Me being friends with a girl? Not in this life.” A sleepy voice grumbled, sitting up and staring right at me. I stared right back, ready to take on any challenge. But then I looked at him – actually looked at him, and I almost screamed.

I clasped my hands over my mouth, unable to take my eyes off of him. That nose, those lips, and those hands. They were exactly the same as they were 3 years ago. His eyes were similar, too, but the gaze was unfamiliar. The way he sat looked too foreign. It was undoubtedly him, but it was like they had inserted a different personality into him. The Junhong I knew was sweet and had the cutest smile ever, but this person in front of me gave off a completely different feeling. I felt a little sick then so I bolted out the door and to the staircase. I stumbled to the floor in a heap of hair and water. Only when I looked down at my shirt did I know I was crying. The collar of my shirt was drenched and soon a little puddle formed. I took this opportunity to just cry out all of the tears I’ve kept in for 3 years. After he left, not once did I shed a tear. All I did was sit there and stare into nothing in particular. I sobbed and weeped, unsure of what for. He was back… he was finally back. How much had I wished he would come back… But that was after I decided that he wasn’t worth my time anymore. Still, a part of me was happy to see him again. I sat there for a long time, feeling every emotion all at once.

“Which jerk made you cry?” I immediately stopped crying, burying my face in my knees, already aware of who it was. I hastily wiped my face, cursing under my breath.

“What? I can’t cry?” My voice came out hoarse and weird, and I cleared my throat, embarrassed, but more so because he’s the first person to see me cry. “How long have you been watching me, weirdo?”

I expected him to laugh at me, but the concern in his voice caught me off-guard. “I just want to help. I’m worried about you, Jiyun.”

“I-I don’t need anyone to worry about me. I can take care of myself.” The tears started to rush again like the tap was .

“No, you can’t take care of yourself. Come on, tell me who to smash. I haven’t had a good fight since high school.” I heard him punch his hand a few times, and I couldn’t help but smile. This time, it was a real smile. It happened naturally, and I realized how much I’d missed smiling.

“Okay, calm down, big guy. No smashing’s happening if I’m not involved. And really. Don’t worry about me. I can handle it. I have for the past few years, after all.” I mumbled the end, wiping my face again.

“Well, why don’t I drive you home? You’ve been through enough already, whatever it was. You can tell me, or not. I got you covered with the CEO. You can just come again tomorrow. You look horrible, by the way.” He held my elbow and pulled me up. I smiled back at Yongguk, feeling a little more relaxed around him. He really seemed like a dependable guy. Like he was, 3 years ago…

“Thanks. That’s not something you hear every day.” We walked down the stairs steadily, talking to each other comfortably. During the car ride back to my house, I closed my eyes and thought about how similar Yongguk was to Junhong. Except, he wasn’t exactly Junhong I knew anymore. The soft beat of the ballad faded as I slowly drifted into a deep sleep, something I’ve rarely had ever since high school ended. I sighed and decided that I would trust Yongguk this time, my heart winning over my mind for the first time. 

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hello, hello! sorry this was so bad. hopefully it'll get better... this is only the beginning! hope it wasn't too disappointing ^^